


The Hopping Pot:  the Adventures of Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs

by Oceanicsignposts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual James Potter, Bottom Sirius Black, Child Abuse, Fluff, Gay Sirius Black, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Top James Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-06-22 13:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 96,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceanicsignposts/pseuds/Oceanicsignposts
Summary: After Sirius Black leaves his home for the last time to live with James Potter, the troublemakers of Hogwarts have the entire summer to spend time together. Sirius turns tedium into revenge plots against Snape, James has mysterious magical artifacts in his family that the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black could only dream about, and the Potters had no idea what they were getting into when they agreed that of course Sirius was part of the family!  James and Sirius find their friendship growing even closer and into something more while they learn more about the mysterious Hopping Pot.Involves heavy use of Tales of Beedle the Bard and distortion of the stories that will inevitably be proven wrong on Pottermore someday. =]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The plot is like 60 or 70% just there as a basis for romance/smut. Intentional heavy trope use, not beta’d/proofread/brit pick’d, and written during my lunch breaks. If you'd like to be a beta reader of some sort, shoot me a message here or on tumblr. I'm like 30k words in on the process of writing as of this post and I'm estimating 75k ish total. Will update weekly (or every other week) on Sunday or Monday depending on my schedule.

  
Sirius hadn't been planning to leave Grimmauld place that day.

He had always known that he would leave, but he hadn't anticipated it being so sudden and unplanned. He had even threatened to run away at Christmas time and at the end of last summer (with some time spent at James’s house both times).

Walburga had ordered him to stay in his room, so Sirius hadn't anticipated leaving the house at all that day. Both of his parents were upset with him over the incident with Remus and nearly getting Snape killed. Walburga had been hounding him daily over having nearly been expelled. " _If_ _it hadn't been for our family name then you would have had your wand snapped. You have no idea what your father had to do to keep it hushed up. You should be more ashamed of yourself._ "

The shame did bother him, although it wasn't for the same reasons that Walburga thought that he ought to be considering.

It hadn't occurred to him at the time that Remus would be upset. He had been trying to get back at Snape. It wasn't just a grudge on a classmate- Snape was involved with the dark arts and the rising presence of pureblooded witches and wizards that were against muggleborns or even worse. It seemed like a noble and courageous thing to do to take a stand against someone who spent time with Avery and Mulciber—it was possible that Snape was even involved with the Death Eaters - the secret society that Sirius had only heard whispers about when people thought that he wouldn’t overhear or from his parents.

If everything had gone according to plan, Snape would have been scared off a bit by seeing Remus in the werewolf state. That would have shaken him up. Sirius did feel a little guilty at the fact that Snape could have died—in the moment he hadn't considered it as that big of a potential loss. After all, if Snape was as far into the dark arts as he seemed to say then he wished the same fate on Evans and the other muggleborns. Snape would grow up to be a murderer and no one was going to stop him, so why not prevent the deaths of more innocent lives?

The effects that it would have on Remus had seemed more minimal at the time. Of course, Remus would be willing to do anything to get back at Snape. If Remus knew how Snape was corrupting Regulus... If he knew what Snape had said--

It wasn't as if Remus weren't protected. Sure, Sirius figured that he wouldn't be able to get a job after the incident, but he didn't need a job. James was wealthy. Sirius was wealthy. They could easily take care of Remus. If everything kept going at the same rate, then they wouldn't want careers after school—they would be fighting in an impending war. It didn't occur to him that Remus might eventually want a job.

He didn’t realize that it could have gone far worse when he made the flippant careless comment to Snape.

He could have ruined Remus's life.

Even though Sirius could be talking to James on his two-way mirror (and he had been doing that multiple times a day) he was still dwelling on what he had done to Remus.

A sharp knock on his door stirred him out of his misery. He stuffed the two-way mirror into his pocket. "Come in," he said, knowing he had no choice in the matter. He sat up on his bed.

Walburga strode into the room and sat down in a chair that she conjured, across from Sirius. "I have decided that we're going to make a plan for you, and if you promise to adhere to it then you don't have to stay in your room the entire summer," she said.

"What sort of plan?" Sirius asked uneasily. Even though Walburga had said 'we' Sirius was certain that she meant that she would be the one devising the plan and Sirius would have no say in the matter.

"First, I think it would be best that you don't spend time with beastly students at school," Walburga said.

Sirius managed to hold his tongue at that, even with his mother calling one of his best friends a 'beast' of all things. He could ignore it since Remus's furry little problem was hardly an issue. An argument was only going to prolong the time he had to spend listening to her, so he just stared at her, hoping to get it over with sooner. He could call her an idiot at the end of her tripe after she had worked through it. Ignoring her entirely was satisfying at times.

"You're also going to write an apology letter to Severus Snape," she told him.

"They've already made me apologize," Sirius mumbled.

"You're going to do it again, only properly this time," she insisted.

Sirius went quiet again. He was resigned to spending the rest of his summer in his room, so protesting wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"I'm going to speak with the headmaster and see if we can get you switched to Slytherin as well. Both your father and I feel that you have poor influences in the Gryffindor house, and that your behavior would be markedly improved," she told him.

She waited for a reaction from him that didn't come. He stayed silent, imagining what James was going to say about all of this.

"You're going to stop wearing those ridiculous muggle clothes as well. You look absurd," she added.

Sirius stared at her, unfazed. The comments on his attire could always be much worse given what he was wearing. Pureblood witches and wizards had no conception of which muggle clothes were currently or traditionally considered masculine or feminine.

"I would also like you to spend some time with Penelope Parkinson. I think that it's about time that you focus on spending a bit of time thinking about the future. I think that she would be an excellent match, although any pureblooded girl would be suitable. These muggle girls that you have on your walls are appalling," Walburga said. "Can you imagine tainting the family name and diluting the blood line? We have a duty to have witch and wizard children- I don't want you taking any chances with the possibility of squibs or worse."

Sirius gaped at her over that. "I'm not going to marry a pureblooded girl," he said, face reddening. "That's horrific."

"Sirius, we'll have to disown you if you don't marry a girl from a pureblood line. We really don't want to do that, but you must understand the necessity. You have far too many absurd ideas about muggles. You can't be a blood traitor. I'm arranging for you to spend some time with Penelope. I think it would do you a great deal of good to spend some time with someone who will be a good influence-"

"I'm not going to date her!" Sirius shouted. He could feel his heart race with nervousness and anger.

"Do you already have someone in mind then?" Walburga asked archly.

Sirius hesitated, nearly blurting out Lily Evans's name- James liked her all right and she was muggleborn. It would upset Walburga, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that, thinking back to a beater on the Hufflepuff quidditch team before shutting down that line of thinking entirely. "No," he said quietly.

"Then there's no harm in spending time with her and talking. I've arranged with her parents to have her over tomorrow evening if you're amenable to that," Walburga told him.

"I'm not _amenable_ to that," Sirius said bitterly.

"Talking with her will help," Walburga continued as if he hadn't spoken. "A woman will of course understand the importance of our families and keeping pureblood lines intact. If not Penelope then perhaps Diana Rosier, Melania Crabbe, Daphne MacMillan, or Mirielle Lestrange... Maybe one of the Greengrass girls then? It's vital for our communities to-"

"Muggleborn girls are no different pureblooded witches. What difference would it make if I were to like them or even a muggle girl? I could be happy with either-"

Walburga grabbed his shoulders at that, eyes wide. "Are you seeing a muggle girl?" she demanded.

"What? No, I just don't think-"

"Are you lying to me? Have you been seeing a muggle girl?" she asked, shaking him angrily.

"I haven't," Sirius told her, pulling away from her.

"If you have been going behind my back and seeing a muggle girl like a blood traitor-"

"Maybe I have," Sirius said spitefully, unable to control his tongue. Only his mother would get so angry about something like this.

Walburga grabbed his arm harshly, yanking on him. Sirius nearly lost his footing in spite of being a head taller than her.

"Let go of me," he said, trying to pull away.

"A muggle girl? Abomination!" She shouted, close enough to his face that he wrinkled his nose at the spittle that ended up on his cheeks.

"You're a blood traitor! You have to end it with her this instant!" she screamed at him, waving her wand to levitate him in the air.

It was harmless- less forceful by far than the grip that she'd had on him earlier, but there was something disorienting about being lifted into the air and the control that she currently had over him made his heart pound and palms sweat. He felt too hot and too cold at the same time. "Put me down!" he shouted, intending to sound forceful and angry but only managing a cracking squeak that sounded more likely to come from Peter Pettigrew than himself.

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Do you have any idea how much shame this could bring to the family? You're an abomination! Do you have any idea how this reflects on me? On the family? Are you too selfish to even think about what your actions might do to others? How do you think Regulus feels, having a blood traitor for a brother? Or your father? Do you think he's proud to call you his son? Can you imagine what this is doing to me? You've absolutely broken my heart with your betrayal," she said.

Sirius squirmed. "I'm not really dating a muggle girl mum- I'm not. Honest. I just wanted to make you angry," he said.

Walburga put him down.

His legs shook under his weight and knees nearly buckled. He realized that he couldn't stop shaking.

"Then will you consider seeing one of the girls that I suggested? A fiancée and the responsibility that comes with that would help you get your priorities in order. Other pureblood friends and a switch to Slytherin would help as well," she continued.

"I'm NEVER marrying a pureblood!" he yelled. "Never! I'm not like you!"

“It’s for the best. Your brother has the good sense to be on the right side of everything. He’s considering joining the fight for our rights and safety with the Dark Lord after school. You should be considering doing the same. All of this nonsense that you’re involved in is risky for you and risking our family.”

At that point Sirius realized that if he stayed here he would never have a say in the matter- and that leaving was inevitable anyway. He was afraid of what would happen if he did stay. The same fight that he intended to be a part of after school was brewing in his own house, and if he wanted to be on the right side of things he couldn't stay.

He grabbed his wand and muggle skateboard that he managed to make fly. He hopped onto it and zipped out of the room.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Walburga yelled.

He nearly ran Regulus over as he flew down the stairs on it, barely managing a semblance of the usual balance he had on it.

Sirius saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye and heard a loud explosion. He landed roughly at the bottom of the stairs. It took him a second to realize that his skateboard was gone. He started immediately tearing towards the front door.

He winced when his mother grabbed his arm. "You get back to your room right now!" she shouted.

"I'm leaving and never coming back!" he screamed back at her, wrenching loose. He ran out the front door.

He didn't stop, running through the muggle part of London. When he rounded a familiar corner, he morphed into his animagus form, running as Padfoot for as far as he could before finding a bench and transforming back. He sat down, panting heavily and breathless from the run.

Sirius glanced into the two-way mirror before angling it a little away from his face, not wanting to look at James just yet.

"James Potter," he said.

"Padfoot? Hey- are you there?" James asked, not seeing him in the mirror.

"I'm here. I'm in London and I need you to come get me," Sirius said, hating the slight quaver in his voice.

"Are you all right?" James asked.

"Yeah. I think I've just been disowned. Could you come get me?" Sirius asked, failing to mask the quaver that still lingered against his will.

"I'll go get mum and dad. Where are you at?" he asked.

Sirius gave him the two nearest street corner names. He flinched as a muggle man spat a very derogatory epithet (‘ _woofter_ ’) in his direction.

"Could you hurry?" Sirius asked, hoping he didn't worry the Potters too much, but deciding it was urgent.

"We'll be right there- I'll go get them now," James promised.

With that, the mirror cleared and Sirius was left feeling alone on the bench. He looked down, trying to ignore the stares of muggle passersby men and women in business suits going about their business on their lunch hour.

He kept nervously looking around for the Potters.

Sirius tensed in unease as James and his parents spotted him and headed over. Both of James's parents were friendlier towards muggles than his own parents were even if they were purebloods as well—and James had plenty of muggleborn friends at school. They were familiar with muggle clothing. The clothes that Sirius wore weren't exactly the standard fare that he dressed in during days off at school. They were muggle clothes to spite his parents, but they also had a unique campy flair to them.

This went beyond the standard interest in punk rock that Sirius had a predilection towards. His hair was grown out to nearly sweep his shoulders, his jean trousers were simple albeit purposefully a too tight, his shirt had a sword on it that would look kitsch for muggles but reminded him of the lost sword of Gryffindor, his nails were painted, the earrings in his ears were simple gold chains that were far too feminine with the amount of dangling and sparkling that the rubies at the bottom did, and he had more makeup on than just eyeliner typical of rock musicians – at least those feigning some semblance of heterosexuality – of the time.

"Did she kick you out over your outfit?" was the first question out of James's mouth when he went over to Sirius, although he had a peculiar expression of near bemusement on his face. Sirius would have never worn the outfit at Hogwarts (for fear of the damage to his reputation and a sense of insecurity) or even most public places. It was the sort of outfit that screamed for attention and was cobbled together from bits of muggle subculture that Sirius had struggled to pick up on, even growing up in Islington in London. He was never entirely sure if he even belonged on the edges of it.

"Erm, no. She doesn't like my muggle clothes, but that wasn't all of what we argued about," Sirius said, fiddling nervously with an earring. "I'd really like to get going before mum comes looking for me."

"Come along," Fleamont Potter said after a brief pause, "we'll go to where we apparated in and take you home."

"Thank you," Sirius said, realizing that he would need to adjust to the idea that the Potter's manor would now be his real home.

Fleamont put a protective hand on Sirius's shoulder as they walked back across the street to a secluded enough area where they would be able to apparate.

Euphemia Potter was quiet, but Sirius could see the distractedness. He tried not to dwell on what she was thinking.

With a pop they disapperated and found themselves in James's living room.

Sirius went to the wastebin and bent over, holding his hair back enough to keep the vomit out of it as he emptied the sick of his stomach.

"Still not fond of apparation?" Fleamont Potter asked.

Sirius shook his head and felt his stomach heave again. "Hate it," he said weakly, before dry heaving once more.

"I'll get you a pepper up potion," Fleamont told him, heading out of the room for a vial.

"Sorry, we would have taken the Floo, but James said that you sounded troubled," Euphemia told him, rubbing over his back.

"Mmm," Sirius grunted noncommittally before dry heaving again.

Fleamont came back in the room and handed Sirius the pepper up potion.

Sirius downed it and his stomach calmed. The tension he'd been carrying in his shoulders eased and he relaxed.

"You're welcome to stay here as long as you like," Euphemia told Sirius. "You're like a son to us."

"Thank you," Sirius said.

"Let's head upstairs a moment," she told them.

James and Sirius followed Euphemia to the guest room.

"We'll have to redo it, but this guest room will be yours," Euphemia told Sirius.

"I thought that-" James's protest was quickly quieted by a sharp shake of Euphemia's head, responding instinctively as any son would to a mother's silent admonishment.

"We can go shopping for new blankets, decorations, and anything you want to make the room feel like yours," Euphemia continued a bit more cheerfully.

"I thought you said that he would be staying in my room like usual," James said, disregarding his mother's earlier warning after the initial confusion passed.

"That was a possibility, but I'm sure Sirius will feel more at home with his own room. We don't want him feeling like a visitor," Euphemia said.

"I really don't mind either way. Thank you, Mrs. Potter-mum," Sirius said. He had an inkling that the room switch was more about the clothes he was wearing (and what it hinted at) than anything else, but he was just grateful for a place to stay.

James looked dubious, but he didn't push the issue further, merely exchanging a wordless glance with Sirius that only left his friend wondering what he was thinking.

"Can we go shopping at Diagon Alley now?" James asked instead of voicing any concerns. "It looks almost exactly like your room, mum, and we'll be able to spruce it up quickly."

"All right. Go ask your father for the galleons for the trip," Euphemia told them.

"Brilliant," James said, before heading back downstairs with Sirius following automatically behind him.

Fleamont was on the sofa, eyes unfocused and fully contemplative of the situation. He looked up when the boys bounded down the stairs. "Where are you headed so soon after getting here?" he asked.

"Diagon Alley. Mum said to ask you for money for some stuff for Sirius's new room," James told him expectantly.

"That sounds like a good idea- get your minds off of the whole thing," Fleamont told them before going to his small safe in the living area meant only for holding galleons for such excursions. "Take however much you need."

"Thanks," James said, grabbing out a few handfuls for the trip. He placed it in a coin pouch and headed over to the fireplace, grabbing a handful of Floo powder.

"See you at Diagon Alley," James told Sirius before stepping into the flame and shouting his destination.

Sirius followed behind him a moment afterwards with a shout, "Diagon Alley!"

He arrived and stepped out of the fireplace, finding James waiting expectantly for him.

"Do you want to go for Florean Fortesque's ice cream first, or do shopping first?" James asked.

"Definitely ice cream, to celebrate my disownment as the heir to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black," Sirius said, voice singsong and mocking at the title. He grinned.

"Celebration with ice cream it is, then," James said, looping an arm around one of Sirius's as they headed to Florean Fortesque's.

They got a few questioning glances at Sirius's sartorial statement, but otherwise had a quiet walk to the ice cream shop. Once they entered, James let go of Sirius's arm and went up to the counter, ordering for both (their usual- a very pricey and extravagant sundae for each of them) and paying.

"Thanks," Sirius said.

"You're welcome," James said perfunctorily, raised on good manners. "How about we sit over there?" He gestured to an area away from the windows in case anyone related to Sirius happened to pass by.

"That works for me," Sirius told him, walking over and sitting down.

James sat down across from him. "So, what did you do to finally get your mom to disown you? What are we celebrating?" he asked.

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "It's actually not that spectacular," he admitted. "I don't actually know if I'm officially disowned either, but I expect so."

"Oh," said James, trying not to look disappointed at the lack of a story, but failing miserably. "So, then what happened?"

"Well, I did manage to upset mum. I suppose it was still impressive. She was already upset about having to talk Dumbledore into not expelling me over the incident with Moony. She wouldn't let me out of my room for days. Regulus wasn't allowed to talk to me either-- not that it matters since he never does anymore anyway. He's too stuck on that pureblood nonsense-- the idiot," he said.

"He's a prat," James agreed.

"Mum told me that we were going to devise a plan- I suppose to get me back on track to whatever ideal she has. Can you believe that she suggested having me moved to Slytherin? I don't think it's even possible to switch houses. I don't think Dumbledore would go for that," Sirius said.

"I've never heard of anyone switching," James said.

"Anyway, mum started hinting around the idea that I should look into getting settled down and asked me about girls and if I'd thought about who I'm going to marry someday. She seems to think that a fiancée would be a 'positive influence' on me-- especially if the girl is a pureblood."

The waiter dropped off their sundaes at the table, which Sirius promptly stuffed a large bite of into his mouth to give himself time to think about how much he was willing to share.

"And what did you say to that?" James asked.

Sirius winced at the ice cream headache and chewed a few of the chocolate chunks before replying. "Well, obviously I hadn't thought about it, but I don't want to marry a pureblood and said as much, so she was very angry about that. She started suggesting girls that she wanted me to consider too. They're all horrid though. Half of them would probably sleep with Voldemort given the chance, you know. Pop out little babies that say 'mudblood' as their first word," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I don't even want to think about children yet, but I know I wouldn't want them corrupted by any of the girls my mum likes."

"Not to mention the inbreeding," James said.

"Exactly," Sirius said. "Anyway, long story short, it escalated a lot. It was a big argument. I wasn't very nice, but neither was mum. She, ah, actually scared me for once. I was afraid and grabbed my muggle skateboard that I bewitched to fly. I was going to ride it out and had made it down the stairs in the house, but she blew it up. I was really afraid that she was going to really hurt me, so I just left."

Sirius pursed his lips together and was quiet after that, fiddling with his spoon and a small pool of melted ice cream.

"She scared you?" James asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Sirius mumbled.

"I'm sorry," James said quietly.

Sirius shrugged.

They were both quiet for a moment, neither one eating, but both unwilling to keep discussing the uncomfortable topic either.

"I hope Regulus leaves," Sirius said after a moment.

"Me too," James said. There was a hesitant pause where he just awkwardly opened his mouth a couple times before clearing his throat. "Your mum didn't hurt you, did she?"

"Not really," Sirius said. "Just shook me up a little."

James glanced down at Sirius's arms that had curved irritated scratches. "And those?"

Sirius shrugged. "Again, didn't really hurt me. Just scratches. Mum grabbed me when I tried to leave," he said.

James didn't know how to respond to that, so just worried at his lip with his teeth for a second. "Well, here's to your disownment, and managing to leave your awful family behind," he said, raising a spoonful of ice-cream in a mock toast.

Sirius raised his spoon and clinked it against James's. "Cheers."

______________________________________________________

  
"Let's go to a muggle shop too," Sirius said. "I want some muggle stuff for my room."

"Sure, just lead the way. I don't know much about muggle shops," James admitted. "I only know what Evans has told me. I haven't been to one myself."

"They're not too different," Sirius said. "We'll just have to stop at Gringotts to change some gold over."

"I almost forgot they use different coins," James said. "I do all right in muggle studies, but it's different actually putting it into practice isn't it?"

"Yeah, I forgot the first time. They thought it was fake money and I nearly got thrown out of the shop. They treat me a lot better now that I have the hang of it," Sirius said as they headed into Gringotts.

James walked over to one of the goblins. "James Potter. I want this changed over to muggle money please," he said, plopping about twenty galleons on the counter.

"One moment," the goblin told him.

James smiled pleasantly and waited.

"There you are," the goblin said, handing him one hundred pounds. "May I help you with anything else?"   
  
"No, that's all," James said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, have a nice day," the goblin told them, but James had already walked away before he really finished the sentence.

"We'll get a skateboard first. I want a new one," Sirius told him, leading him through muggle London. He went down a back street to a small shop. He led James inside.

"Hey welcome back," the shopkeeper said with a friendly smile. He was leaning against the counter idly.

"Thanks," Sirius said.

"Can I help you with anything?" he asked them.

"I need a new skateboard. My mum got rid of my old one," Sirius said.

"That's awful. That was a nice one," he said. "Isn't she just going to get rid of a new one though?"

"I moved out," Sirius said with a cheeky grin. "Moved in with my best mate and his parents."

"Nice to meet you," he said with a lazy wave at James. "Do you want the same model?"

"Yeah," Sirius decided.

The shopkeeper grabbed one down for them and placed it on the counter, giving them their total.

"Can you count it out for me again? I'm rubbish at it," Sirius said, handing over a stack of pounds that James got at Gringotts.

"Sure," the shopkeeper said. He counted it out. "I need five more."

Sirius hopelessly handed him more of the stack.

The shopkeeper handed him back most of it and some change. "Thank you," he said. "Are you doing modifications to this one too?”

"You're welcome," Sirius said. "Yeah. I haven't decided what I'm going to do to it yet though. Definitely a better paint job."

"Yeah it's a nice board, but a little plain," the shopkeeper said. "You'll have to bring it in once you get it painted."  
  
"I will," Sirius said with a grin. "See you."

"Thanks again," the shopkeeper told them.

James followed Sirius out. "Where to now?"

"I want more music records sometime soon, but that's it for now," Sirius said.

"Home, then?" James asked.

"Yeah. Home," Sirius said.

  
_______________________________________________________

 

Euphemia Potter plopped an extra helping of steak and kidney pie on Sirius's plate.

"We were wondering—and you don't have to tell us! Don't feel obligated! Euphemia and I were wondering what happened with your parents," Fleamont said.

Sirius glanced at James who had a mouth full of pie and just shrugged.

"They just... they're on the wrong side of all of the pureblood and muggleborn mess. You know how it is right now. They were pressuring me to keep siding with them, and I kept refusing. Mum and I had a fight over it all," Sirius said quietly.

"That's all?" Euphemia pressed gently.

Sirius nodded. "It was really bad though," he said.

"All right. You can tell us more about it when you feel like it," Euphemia told him.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius mumbled. "I just want to forget it. I'm here now- and everything is better."

"We're very glad that you're here," Euphemia told him genuinely.

Sirius smiled at that.

  
________________________________________________________

 

  
"Night," Sirius said.

James fixed him with a look. "You know, you don't have to stay in the guest room if you don't want to, even if mum strongly suggested it."

Sirius licked his lips and rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's all right. I don't mind. No sense in getting disowned twice in one day, right?" he joked.

The joking manner wasn't enough to keep James from realizing the hurt and truth behind that statement. "Come on- at least come to my room for a little while. I want to talk to you," he said.

Sirius shrugged one shoulder noncommittally and followed James into his room.

James sat down on the bed. "We've been sleeping in the same room for five years now. I don't expect you would suddenly do anything different now," he said. "Even if mum and dad saw your clothes today and thought that you're a – well, a you-know-what – they aren't going to kick you out of the house. They're not like your parents. They're still letting you stay, even thinking that."

"I don't know if I am or not. I mean, if I like blokes or not," Sirius told him, glancing away to avoid seeing his reaction. He strongly suspected that he might be interested in men, and had thought about it a considerable amount, but he still wasn’t entirely sure.

"That's all right," James said, awkwardly clapping his shoulder. "Like I said, I don't care. Moony's a werewolf after all. There are worse things to be."

Sirius felt a bit flustered at that, but had a hard time pinpointing why. "It's not exactly the same. Moony doesn't like being or want to be a werewolf. I think- if I do like blokes, then it's not going to be something that I'd want to change. I'm just not sure if I do like them or not."

"If you're not sure, then it's even more ridiculous to have to stay in your room all of the time. If you end up liking girls then secluding yourself is pointless, and we're like brothers anyway even if you do like boys. It'll be like our room at Hogwarts or any other summer vacation when you stay over. Plus, if you get sick of my snoring then you can still go to your own room," James said.

Sirius finally relaxed. "You're right," he said. "I'll go change and be back."

"That's better," James said brightly.

Sirius headed to the guest room, pausing to look in the mirror for a second. He tugged off his t-shirt and wiped his face off with the inside of it, the make-up smearing over the fabric. Once he had enough of it off to be satisfactory he tossed his shirt in the general direction of the laundry basket.

He carefully set his earrings on the bedside table before changing into the new Gryffindor themed pyjamas that he had bought.

James did seem more at ease when Sirius came back in the room without the make-up and earrings.

 


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm bored," Sirius complained suddenly.

"It's barely sunrise," James mumbled from his bed.

Sirius started glancing through James's bookshelves, looking for something to do. He knew full well that James would take a while to wake up. "I can still be bored at sunrise."

James mumbled something unintelligible in response. He tried to manage something since the vast majority of the time when Sirius said that he was bored, he really meant that he couldn't stop dwelling on something- in this case family problems. He didn't manage to say anything coherent even with the sleep addled effort.

"This looks different than my copy of the book," Sirius said, picking up a well-worn and loved copy of Tales of Beedle the Bard.

A tousled mess of hair poked up from the red and gold blankets as James spared a glance at the book. "It's not the version for pureblooded muggle haters," he said before burying back under the blankets.

"Are the stories different then?" Sirius asked.

"You could read it and find out," James said noncommittally, hoping that it would entertain Sirius at least long enough for him to wake up.

A moment later and James felt the bed dip beside him, and the blankets tug for a moment before he felt the warmth of Sirius's leg against his side. All was quiet for long enough for James to doze off again as Sirius read.

The stories were altered from the original, although the most startling changes were to the story about the Hopping Pot. There certainly hadn't been any morals about being kind to muggles in the variant that Walburga had read Regulus and Sirius when they were children. An inkling of an idea formed in Sirius's mind as he read.

It wasn't until he reached the _Tale of Three Brothers_ with the invisibility cloak that imagination got the best of him.

"Prongs! Wake up!" Sirius said, shaking his sleeping friend.

"Hnggg," was the only response.

"Prongs!" Sirius repeated, more insistently now.

"I'm awake," James said, although he didn't sound it. He sat up next to Sirius, putting on his glasses. The chance for sleep had passed.

"I have the most brilliant idea," Sirius told him excitedly.

"What?" James asked, although the word was garbled with a yawn.

"You know how the _Tale of the Three Brothers_ has an invisibility cloak?"

"Yeah," James said.

"Well, yours almost does as much as the one in the story, right?" Sirius pressed.

"Mum says it's s'posed to be the invisibility cloak the legend is based on. Don't know if that's true or not, but I've always thought she's right," James said. "She's not really sure either though."

"Whoa. I didn't know that," Sirius said, marveling over the idea. "Anyway, d'you think that the story about the Hopping Pot could be true?"

James shrugged. "Maybe. I don't want a cursed cauldron annoying me into helping people though. I've got Quidditch practices and after we're finished with school we're going to help fight against You-Know-Who."

"Not us! Snape! We could send the cauldron after Snape and maybe he'd be a bit nicer about muggleborns," Sirius said impishly.

James grinned. "Excellent!" He said, fully onboard with his plan. "Even if we can't find the real one, we can always work out a spell to make one follow him regardless."

"I'd like to find the real one if it exists though. If your invisibility cloak is the real version of the one in the story, then there must be a chance the Hopping Pot exists, right?"

"If it does, we'll find it," James promised him.

"Excellent," Sirius said with a grin. "We'll just have to figure out where to start looking."

"After breakfast we'll get started," James decided.

"And we'll work until lunch time figuring it out," Sirius said. It had been the same schedule they'd used on weekends to work on the Marauders Map or attempting to become animagi.

"Do you think your mum is up yet?"

"Should be- she promised a good breakfast," James said. He slid out of bed and put on a pair of khaki trousers and a black t-shirt with a golden snitch on it.

Sirius went to the guest room and grabbed his clothes, changing into his trousers and a navy-blue shirt with an obscure muggle band name screen-printed on the front. He debated over his earrings for a moment before leaving them on the bedside table. He went back to join James in the hall.

Downstairs the table was already set, and Euphemia was in the kitchen with breakfast finishing up.

"Oh good, you're both up. You can both help yourselves," Euphemia said warmly. "I'm just doing the eggs- they're about ready."

"Thanks mum," James said, grabbing a plate.

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter-mum," Sirius said gratefully, starting to dish up his own food as well.   
They sat down at the table and James's owl swooped in with two letters. He opened the first one.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked.

"Moony," James said. He skimmed over it. "He actually wants to know if you're still grounded. That's a good sign! He might want to write to you again."

"I should write him a letter," Sirius said around a mouthful of beans.

"Good idea. He doesn't always feel like we care enough," James said.

"Especially after what happened," Sirius said solemnly.

"You said it, not me," James said quietly.

Sirius frowned. "I'll write him after breakfast," he said. He knew that he should try to be a better friend, especially after what had happened.   
  
"What can you tell us about the Hopping Pot tale?" Sirius asked Euphemia suddenly when she came to sit down.

"The children's story?" Euphemia asked as she settled with her breakfast.

Sirius nodded.

"What do you want to know about it?" Euphemia asked.

"Is the cauldron in it real?" Sirius asked.

"I suppose it could be. I don't see why not," Euphemia said. "It's a very complex set of spells, but it's possible. After all, the sorting hat was more complicated than the cauldron would be."

"There's no proof of it though?" James asked.

"I'm afraid that I don't know anything about it. You could ask your grandfather. He adores Beedle's tales," she said.

"Could we go and visit him today?" James asked.

"I think you should give him a bit more warning than that. You know that he’s not well. Send him an owl and ask though- I'm sure he will be delighted to see you- at a time that's convenient for him," Euphemia said.

"Then we both have letters to write, eh?" James told Sirius.

"Exactly," Sirius said with a grin. He started shoveling away his breakfast more quickly.

"Both of you stop that," Euphemia said, once James followed suit. "I won't have you choking at the breakfast table."

They only marginally slowed down at her instruction.

“Thanks mum,” James said, taking his plate to the sink.

“Thanks Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius echoed, putting his plate on top of James’s.

“You’re welcome,” Euphemia called.

James and Sirius ran upstairs to get parchment. James sat down at his desk, and Sirius plopped in an armchair nearby, grabbing a quill.   
  
Sirius was thoughtful for a moment before writing out a letter in his usual scrawl.

_Dear Moony,_

_How is the summer going? I'm not speaking with my parents anymore, so I'm no longer grounded. I moved in with James. I think that I might be disowned._

_We should all make plans to go see a Quidditch game this summer. Let me know if any of them land far enough from the moon that your parents would let you go!_

_Write back soon._

_-Sirius_

“You can use my owl too,” James told Sirius, grabbing both letters and giving them to his owl.

“Let’s see what we can find out about Beedle the Bard,” Sirius said.

“We could start with researching Beedle,” James suggested.

  
“Do you think your dad has any books on him?” Sirius asked.

“We’ll find out. If he doesn’t, we can check Flourish and Blotts,” James decided. He stood and headed to his father’s study with Sirius following behind him. 

  
___________________

 

  
Euphemia headed into the kitchen to make roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for dinner.  
  
"Wotcher Mrs. Potter," the tea kettle said in an astonishingly annoying chirpy voice.

Her brows creased in a frown. "James!" she called.

"No need to yell so loudly," her cutting board told her sternly, the voice equally obnoxious and high pitched.

"Watch where you're stepping!" the floor called up to her.

"JAMES!" She shouted again.

James came down the stairs and poked his head into the kitchen curiously. "Yes, mum?"

"What a polite young man," the tea kettle said, pleased.

"Put my kitchen right this instant," Euphemia said.

"No! Don't! I just adore to talk. It's better than just whistling when the tea is done," the tea kettle said, before whistling continuously.

"Erm, I don't know how. I didn't do it," James said, looking at the tea kettle. He weighed the merits of confessing that this was more Sirius's style. He couldn't bring himself to tell his mother that Sirius was the likely culprit though, even if it was obvious.

"Good!" the tea kettle interrupted its whistling for that brief pause before resuming.

Euphemia wordlessly casted a spell to silence the kitchen.

The kettle stopped whistling.  
  
She sighed with relief.

"Just kidding!" the kettle said loudly before whistling again.

"Where is Sirius?" Euphemia asked.

James felt a small tap on the back of his shoulder. He glanced behind him, seeing nothing. "I don't know," he lied.

"I can't cook dinner like this," Euphemia said, gesturing to the tea kettle and the window (which was currently giving a running weather "forecast" of sorts: ' _it's sunny out today. It's warm with a slight breeze. It's still sunny out. There's so much sunshine. And now it's 1/16 of a degree warmer- maybe less than that. It's still sunny out. Wait, no, is that a thunderstorm? Just kidding, it's still sunny out_ ') along with the rest of her talking kitchen. "You're constantly inseparable and the one time he makes a mess of my kitchen, you have no idea where he is?"

James shrugged. "I'm sorry mum. I don't know."

"We need him to put it right or I won't be able to make dinner," Euphemia said.

"I'll go look for him," James said. He turned and carefully started walking to make sure he wouldn't accidentally run into his best friend.

He followed Sirius up the stairs and to the bedroom. He pulled the invisibility cloak off him once they made it inside.

"That's a wicked prank," James said with a grin.

"I thought so too," Sirius said, grinning.

"What spell did you use?" James asked.

"Not telling," Sirius said.

"It's perfect for the cauldron though- the hopping pot that we're going to send after Snape," James said.

"Not really- it wears off after a couple days. There's nothing to make it permanent and they're not capable of making decisions themselves. It's not the same," Sirius said.

"So modest. It's a good start," James said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Thank you," Sirius said. "I'd still like for us to find the real thing."

"When did you come up with the spell?" James asked.

"Couldn't sleep," Sirius admitted.

"Ah, sorry," James said.

Sirius shrugged. He didn't want to think about his family, which had been what kept him up for several nights in a row.

"Let's go put mum's kitchen right again," James said, changing the subject.

"We could leave it," Sirius said.

"Why?" James asked. "It's a good prank, but she's already seen it. No sense in leaving it that way."

Sirius shrugged and plopped down in an armchair.

"Well, you're going to have to be the one to tell her that you're not putting it right," James said. "Mum said that you were just overdoing the mischief last year because everything was so rough at home, but it's not rough anymore is it? So, there's no sense to be mean to my mum and leave it. The execution of the prank was tops, but it's pointless to drag it out."

"I'm not being mean to your mum," Sirius protested.

"Yes, you are. It's funny to have her kitchen talk for a while, but if you let it keep going- well that's just cruel. Besides, don't you want a nice dinner?" James asked.

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair and looked away from James.

"My mum's not Walburga. When has she ever done you wrong?" James questioned.

"I'm not putting it back," Sirius insisted although he felt uneasy about it.

The door opened and Euphemia stepped inside. "I see the you have found Sirius," she said cheerfully.

"Yes," James said shortly.

"I must say, the tea kettle startled me, but it was a good joke. Could you please come fix it, dear?" Euphemia asked.

"I'm not going to fix it," Sirius said.

"Now, Sirius, unless you want to fix dinner for all of us yourself-"

' _if you don't take those awful posters off my walls this instant you can go to bed without dinner, you understand?'_

"I'm not cooking dinner," Sirius said.

"Please be reasonable. You have two choices. You can fix my kitchen or cook dinner for all of us yourself until the spell wears off," Euphemia said, resorting to trying to force him into making a choice between two options- a parenting tactic that she hadn’t had to use on James in years.  

"I'm not doing either," Sirius said.

"The talking kitchenware is very loud and distracting. It's not acceptable for anyone to have to cook while listening to the chatter. I'm sure that you understand that," Euphemia said. "I'm not asking for anything unreasonable."

'- _do you know how this affects me? How this reflects on me? How dare you do this to me- to us! You insist on acting reprehensible and it troubles the entire family!'_

"I'm not putting it right," Sirius insisted.

"Then you'll have to cook dinner," Euphemia said.

"I won't," Sirius said.

"You've given yourself no choice in the matter if you're not going to put the kitchen right. Go start dinner," Euphemia said.

"And if I don't?" Sirius challenged.

Euphemia pursed her lips. "James, go grab your shoes. We're going to Diagon Alley for dinner. Sirius, if you get hungry, there's food in the kitchen."

James grabbed his shoes, glancing at Sirius.

He followed Euphemia down the stairs.

Sirius sunk into the armchair, feeling a stirring of guilt. Euphemia hadn't yelled at him like his own mum had. She hadn't threatened to throw him out. She didn't even give him a punishment other than excluding him from the outing.

He leaned forward and put his head in his hands, Walburga's voice still echoing in his memories. ' _Blood traitor. Shame of the family. Abomination.'_

When it became unbearable he transformed into the large black dog that didn't have to think as hard about his family and curled up tightly in the armchair, tucking his nose under his paws. Sleep came shortly after.

  
____________________

  
He woke to the smell of roast chicken. He looked up to see James with wrapped leftovers.

After a few tail wags he transformed and sat up in the armchair.

"Don't tell mum I brought you some leftovers," James said. "I think she knows, but she'll want to pretend that she didn't realize it."

"Thanks," Sirius said, taking the leftovers and starting to eat.

James sat down next to him. "You really should go make mum's kitchen right," he said.

"Was she angry?" Sirius asked.

"Not really. Do you want her to be?" James questioned.

"I don't know," Sirius mumbled.

"She's not going to throw you out like your mum did," James said.

"Are you sure about that?" Sirius asked.

"I'm sure," James reassured him.

"I'm not," Sirius mumbled around the chicken.

"You're already like a second son to her- a brother to me. We have more important people to fight with than my mum," James said.

"I know."

"Think about putting it back, all right?" James said.

Sirius made a noncommittal noise.

"Anyway, we saw Mulciber and his lot in Diagon Alley," James said, changing the subject.

Sirius perked up at that. "Snape too?"

"Not today, but I'm sure they're all up to no good. Nothing interesting to tell since I couldn't follow them with mum and dad around, but I'd love to send a Hopping Pot after all of them," James said.

"We'll focus on Snape first- he's the worst of them," Sirius said, making a face.

"I'm sure we'll find out about the hopping pot soon- my grandfather has to know about it. I'm sure of it," James said.

"I hope so," Sirius said. He vanished the food wrapping once he was finished eating.

"Think you'll get some sleep tonight?" James asked.

"I'm fine," Sirius said, grabbing his pyjamas to get ready for bed.

  
____________________

  
It took three days before the spell in the kitchen wore off. Sirius had resigned himself to eating sandwiches, but Mrs. Potter didn't back down and neither did he.

The morning that her kitchen fell silent Mrs. Potter cooked a proper full English breakfast.

"I got an owl from Grandfather!" James exclaimed, excitedly tearing open the envelope.

"What does it say?" Sirius asked, leaning over James's shoulder.

" _Dear James,_

_I would be glad to have you over for tea this weekend. How does 3 o'clock on Saturday sound? Miss you all._

_Much love,_

_Harry Potter_ " James read aloud.

"Excellent," Sirius said with a grin.

A moment later, Remus’s owl swooped in, depositing a letter for James and one for Sirius as well.

_Dear Padfoot,_

_Summer is going well here so far. I went on vacation with my parents. It was just a small vacation to the shore, but still very enjoyable._

_I’m sorry to hear that you have probably been disowned. I am glad that you’re staying with the Potters. I’m writing James to ask if it’s possible for me to come visit you both soon. I really can’t afford a trip to a Quidditch game at the moment, so we’ll have to make do with visiting._

_-Remus Lupin_

“Moony wrote back,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“He wrote me as well,” James said. “Mum, could Remus come visit? We wanted to go to a Quidditch game with him, but he says that it’s too expensive. Could we invite him over anyway? We could pay for him to come along right? Peter could come along too.”

“Of course,” Euphemia said. “Just work out which days work best for him, and we’ll figure out something.”

“Excellent!” James said, beaming.

A large dark owl swooped into the room at that moment, depositing a letter in front of Sirius. His face paled.

He opened the howler before it could start yelling on its own accord.

“ _Sirius,_

_You are NEVER welcome in our home again. You don’t deserve to bear our family name. HOW DARE YOU? How dare you run away and turn your back on your family? ABOMINATION AND BLOOD TRAITOR! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE OUR NAME? IF YOU WISH TO LAY AND WALLOW IN MUGGLE FILTH THEN YOU’RE JUST GOING TO END UP SOILING YOURSELF._

_YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF OUR FAMILY. DO NOT CONTACT YOUR FATHER, YOUR BROTHER OR ME EVER AGAIN._

_Walburga Black_  
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black  
Toujours Pur.”

Sirius stared, still somewhat pale and shaking at the breakfast table.

“It’s all right. You’re like a son to us,” Euphemia said, patting Sirius’s back.

“Don’t think about it, Padfoot. We’ll write Remus and Peter and figure out when we can all see a Quidditch game together,” James said.

“I’m going out,” Sirius said, getting up from the breakfast table and heading to the door.

“Sirius, wait-” Euphemia said.

“Padfoot-”

Sirius slammed the door behind him and ran just beyond the trees before transforming into a large black dog. He ran through the woods beside the path into the muggle village.

James was running after him, but James was on foot, having a harder time running through the forest as either a human or stag than Sirius did as a dog. He soon fell out of earshot and had given up on the chase.

Part of him felt the futility of running, when there was nothing to run from, or at least no way to escape the pain caused by the problem.

He transformed back into his normal self before reaching the muggle village. He caught his breath as he headed into one of the shops there. He stepped inside and the shopkeeper immediately greeted him, eyeing him somewhat suspiciously.

Sirius waved and looked around the shop. He went to the far aisle out of view and transformed back into the large black dog and barked loudly, knocking over a few items with his tail.

“Hey!” the shopkeeper shouted, starting to chase after him.

Sirius did a quick lap around the shop and transformed back into his normal form. “I think it went that way,” he told the shopkeeper pointing.

While the shopkeeper was distracted, looking for the nonexistent dog, Sirius grabbed the strongest whiskey that he could find in the shop and ducked out the front door.

He walked a ways down the street away from the shop, and popped open the whiskey bottle, taking a few swigs. He found a bench and sat down, taking a few more long drinks.

It took awhile for the discomfort at his mother’s howler to ease, but when it did it was a purely chemical relief. He rested back and shut his eyes, letting the summer sun shine on his face.

When he started to get overly warm, he took another swig of the bottle and left it there on the bench, heading back down the street and on the path to the Potter house.

James was sitting out on the veranda, although he stood as soon as he spotted Sirius. “Mum! He’s back!” he called.

“Padfoot, you berk. You worried us,” James told him. “Come back inside.”

Sirius mumbled an apology and followed James back indoors, keeping just enough distance to try to hide the alcohol smell on his breath.

Euphemia picked up the smell immediately however. “How much have you been drinking?” she asked, shocked.

“Just a little, Mrs. Potter-mum. I’m just a bit tipsy, nothing a short kip won’t fix,” Sirius told her.

Euphemia pursed her lips. “It’s not a good habit to get into,” she told him, even though she wasn’t in the habit of arguing with inebriated people.

“It was only a little,” he said, although his face was flushed, and the combination of the heat of the summer and alcohol was making his stomach turn.

“You’re sloshed,” James told him.

“I’m not,” he said.

His face went a green tinged white color and he bent over, retching on Euphemia’s nice rug.

Euphemia did not look pleased.

“Let’s go watch the telly until you feel better,” James said, waving his wand over the mess with a quick ‘scourgify’ spell.

“I want to listen to music instead,” Sirius said, a little more loudly than he had intended.

“Then we can do that,” James said, although he didn’t always care for Sirius’s musical taste.

He helped Sirius up the stairs.

“D’you think your mum’s angry?” Sirius asked once they reached his room.

“No. Just worried,” James said.

“I’m really not drunk,” Sirius told him.

“You are- just a bit,” James said.

Sirius went to his record player and put on the Ramones before laying on his bed.

James wrinkled his nose and sat down with him, irritated with the song that was playing already. While at Hogwarts James had never needed to put up with Sirius’s musical taste as prefects took points away for having that much racket in the dormitories. It was made worse when Sirius started singing along- loudly and badly.

At that point James sighed and left him there, going back downstairs.

Euphemia caught sight of her son. “James, do you think that he would run away if I grounded him?” she asked, concered.

“I don’t know, mum,” he admitted. “I don’t think grounding him is a good idea.”

“I’ll let him just have a warning this time,” she said. “Next time I might take away his record player for a week.”

“That might not be too bad,” James said with a smile.

They both looked up at the stairs when they heard a very loud thump.

“I’m going to go check on him,” James said.

“Good luck,” Euphemia said. She sighed and headed to the study.

When James went upstairs he found that Sirius had changed into leather pants (just tight black leather pants as his chest was bare) and must have attempted to skateboard in his room. The muggle skateboard was floating several feet above him, and Sirius had landed inelegantly on the floor, laughing about the situation.

If James had been drinking as well the situation might have been comical. As it was, James was just reminded how lucky he was to have his own family. He knew in an abstract sort of way that he was fortunate- Peter and Remus had always had a hard time- but seeing the emotional turmoil that Sirius’s family caused him over the last year or so brought a new level of clarity to him.

“I think flying while tipsy is a bad idea,” Sirius told him.

“I think that you’re right about that,” James agreed, getting the skateboard down and putting it away.

“Should have made mum even more appalled before I left,” Sirius said. “Bet she’s already blasted me off of the family tapestry just like my cousin Andromeda. She always was upsetting mum. I should send her an owl. She’s my favorite cousin.”

“Maybe once you’re feeling a little better,” James suggested.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “I should have insisted that I was dating a muggle girl. Can you imagine the letter that I would have gotten if I told her that I knocked a muggle girl up? She would’ve been livid.”

“Well, you’re safe here now, so you don’t have to think about your mum. We’ll burn any other letters that she sends you,” James said.

Sirius sighed and looked towards the ceiling. “I’m usually a happy drunk,” he said. “I was happy for a bit.”

“It might be wearing off a bit now. Mum says that you’re not allowed to drink like this anymore or she’ll take your record player away for a week,” James said.

Sirius looked startled. “Do you think that she really would?”

“She will. She just wants to take care of you. It’s not like your mum. She’s taken away my broom for a week before,” James told him.

“I didn’t realize that you ever got in trouble,” Sirius said. James was a bit spoiled in the same way that Sirius would have been if he were more acquiescent like Regulus was.

“I don’t very often. Mum and dad let me get by with a lot, I think. They still try to do what’s best. I usually only get into trouble if I have done something really dangerous,” James said.

“Hm,” Sirius hummed in acknowledgment, still getting used to the Potter family dynamics. Even though he had stayed with them regularly over the summer, that was different from being part of the family and like a son. “I won’t drink enough to upset your mum again.”

“Good,” James said, relieved.

“Do you think your mum and dad would let me buy a motorbike?” Sirius asked.

“A what?” James asked.

Sirius rolled over and grabbed out a muggle magazine. “I’ve showed you them before- the ones that the muggle girls on the posters in my old room were riding.” He flipped through the pages, showing James his current favorite model.

“Maybe ask when you’re _not_ drunk,” James suggested. “I don’t expect that they would say no though.”

Sirius lay back on the floor and stretched. He shut his eyes, just enjoying the music. “I’m going to get the best motorbike. I’m going to make it fly. I won’t have to take the Floo or apparate- I’ll just go anywhere.”

James sat down next to him, deciding that he could bear the loud music if it kept Sirius from trying to fly on his skateboard again. “As long as I get to go with you,” he said.

“Of course,” Sirius said with a wide grin.

James smiled over at him and just listened to the music until Sirius dozed off next to him, napping on the floor. Once his breathing evened out, James stood and shut off the music, leaving Sirius there on the floor to sleep it off.  
____________________

“Henry Potter’s room in St. Mungo’s,” James said. Sirius followed soon after him.

“James, so glad to see you,” Harry Potter said, using a cane for balance to walk over, wrapping his arms around him. “How has your summer been?”

“Very nice so far. How has yours been?” James asked.

“Nice enough. A bit tiring. Who is your friend here?” Harry asked.

Sirius thought that Harry looked very ill, or at the very least exhausted. He seemed to sway a bit as he stood, and his eyes seemed a bit unfocused even while wearing glasses. He looked astonishingly like what Fleamont Potter would look like in twenty or thirty years time. Sirius could even see James aging into a wiry older man like him as well.

“This is Sirius Black,” James said.

“Ah, I’ve heard a bit about you,” Harry said, holding out his hand to shake Sirius’s. “I’m Henry Potter, but you can call me Harry. A bit of an iconoclast aren’t you?”

“I suppose so,” Sirius said, even though he had no idea what the word meant.

Harry clapped his shoulder, smiling warmly. “Good- you’re better off without your family’s nonsense. I went to school with your grandfather. Arcturus was a nasty man,” he said.

“I wasn’t that fond of him either,” Sirius admitted with a grin.

“Good lad,” Harry said. “I have tea ready, come sit down.”

“Thank you grandfather,” James said, following him to sit at the table that a healer had prepared for them. Sirius sat down next to him.

Harry poured them all tea, his hand shaking as he did. “So what have you been up to this summer?” he asked James.

“We were actually doing a bit of reading, and wondered if you could help us with some research,” James said.

“What about?” Harry asked, pouring a splash of milk in his own tea, hand shaking a bit as he did. He spilled some which James wordlessly cleaned up, helping him add sugar and preparing his own tea.

“Well, we were reading the Tales of Beedle the Bard-” Sirius explained.

“And we were wondering if you knew anything about the Wizard and the Hopping Pot,” James said.

“Ah, that’s one of my favorites,” Harry told them. He stood and went to his hospital bookshelf, pulling a very special display edition of the book from his shelf. It was bound in a beautiful leather and had moonstone detailing. He handed it to James, who held it as if it were precious.

“What can you tell us about it?” James asked.

“What would you like to know?” Harry asked.

“Is the Hopping Pot real?” Sirius asked, visibly excited by the prospect.

“Well, I suppose that it could be,” Harry told them.

James’s face fell. “You don’t know anything about it?” he asked.

“I didn’t say that. My own father told me that my great grandfather, Linfred of Stinchcombe owned the Hopping Pot. He was known as the potterer of the village. It was a muggle village of course. It’s suspected that he was the one that the tale was based on, but I’ve never seen the cauldron. It’s not like the cloak,” Harry told them.

“Linfred Potter then?” James asked, making a mental note of the name. “He made potions for muggles?”

“That’s the story that I heard. He created Skele-Gro, which is extremely useful,” Harry told them.

“Were there ever any rumors of what happened to his pot?” Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged. “Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve always tried to help with muggles and muggleborns, so perhaps I missed out on that particular lesson,” he said. “I have never been as good at studies as you are Fleamont.”

“James,” he quietly corrected him. “What about any heirloom cauldrons? Do you have any?”

“A few, but I don’t remember which ones did what… I was interested in politics, not potions. Not like your father,” Harry told them.

“Thank you, grandfather. That’s loads of help anyway,” James said, handing the book back to his grandfather.

“Keep it. The book has given me plenty enough joy for the rest of my life. It deserves to be with someone that appreciates it more fully,” Harry said with a smile.

“Really? Thank you,” James said, wrapping his arms around his grandfather.

“You’re welcome,” Harry said, hugging him and smiling.

“Could I look through your cauldrons?” James asked.

“Ah, I’m afraid that I gave some of them away. Your father has some of them. I didn’t want to keep them all after I cleaned out the house in Godric’s Hollow- it’s going to belong to you someday you know. I couldn’t burden your parents with all of my clutter and sentimental knicknacks. Best to get rid of them while you’re still able,” Harry said.

James looked horrified at that.

“No, don’t look at me like that, Flea- James. I should have kept more of the cauldrons for your father, but I did give him the nicer ones. It’s best not to leave children with haunting memories in the form of clutter when you know that your going to die,” Harry said.

James swallowed hard and looked a bit pale at that. Sirius silently patted his back.

“You shouldn’t say such things,” James said uneasily.

“It’s true enough. I’m not well. Your parents are older and I am even older still. I am glad that you wanted the book though- it would have been a shame for that one to leave the family,” Harry said.

“I will take very good care of it,” James assured him. “It’s a treasure.”

“That it is,” Harry said. He coughed and sat back a little, looking as if their visit had tired him out more than he had been prior. “I think that I will lie down for a bit. Will you tell your father that I said hello? He has a hard time seeing me in St. Mungo’s, but he could still stop by for a visit once in a while.”

“I’ll let him know,” James said, helping Harry to his hospital bed. “I’m glad that I stopped by.”

“I’m glad too. I always like hearing about your little adventures,” Harry said with a smile. He looked up at Sirius. “Nice meeting you, Sirius.”

“Nice meeting you too, Harry,” Sirius said, shaking his hand.

“We’ll let you rest. See you again soon, grandfather,” James said.

“Goodbye, James,” Harry said. There was enough clarity in his eyes and a finality to his words that James had to turn to the Floo to hide his tears.

“Potter house,” he said very clearly, holding tightly to the book.

Sirius followed him through the flames.

When he arrived on the other side, James’s shoulders were shaking.

“Are you alright?” Fleamont asked, worriedly.

“Grandfather is dying,” James said shakily.

“I’m sorry,” Fleamont said, looking uncomfortable. “We knew-“

“He told me goodbye. You should go visit him,” James said. “He doesn’t seem to think that he will see me again.”

Fleamont nodded. “I’ll go visit him very soon,” he promised quietly.

James nodded and headed up to his room with the book, Sirius following closely behind him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius asked uncomfortably.

“Not really,” James said. He sighed and put the copy of the book on his bookshelf, displayed nicely rather than intermixed with the other books.

“Do you want to go flying instead?” Sirius asked, knowing that a distraction always helped him.

“Yeah.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Peter arrived first for dinner the night before they were going to see the Chudley Cannons and Holyhead Harpies game.

James noted that rather than some of Sirius’s usual muggle attire, today he wore a simple boyish nehru collar shirt with a fisherman cap and black leather jeans. He had foregone lipstick entirely, but still had smudged eyeliner as the only bit of makeup. A few days prior had trimmed his hair into a popular shag hairstyle so that it was still long but less overgrown looking. He had Gryffindor lion stud earrings in his ears that had been charmed to periodically open their mouths in a silent roar.

“Hi James! Cool outfit!” Peter told Sirius, even less aware of muggle fashions than James was. He had to assume that it must be stylish among muggles because it was Sirius of all people who was wearing it.

“Thanks,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Hello Mrs. Potter, Mr. Potter,” Peter said politely. “Thank you for paying for the tickets for us!”

“You’re welcome,” Fleamont said warmly.

When Remus came through the Floo he looked tired and peaky, still recovering from the last full moon. “Hi James, Peter, Sirius,” he said with a nod. “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Potter.”

“Hello, how have you been?” Euphemia asked.

“Very well, thank you. And thank you both very much for taking us to the Quidditch game,” Remus said politely.

“You’re welcome,” Euphemia and Fleamont said.

“Why don’t you come sit down?” Euphemia told him.

Remus sat at the table gratefully.

Euphemia served dinner and they exchanged pleasantries at the table (‘ _how has your summer been?’ ‘good so far, what about yours?’ ‘exhausting, but great. What about yours?’ ‘surprisingly better after being disowned!’_ ).

After dinner, James stood. “Let’s go, Sirius and I have to tell you about a plot that we have! Don’t worry mum, it’s nothing dangerous,” he said, racing towards the stairs.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter dashed behind him.

“Sirius?” Euphemia called.

Sirius stopped and turned.

The other boys paused and looked back at him.

Euphemia cleared her throat and walked over. She clapped her hand on Sirius’s shoulder. She leaned in and whispered quietly, “It’s alright if you stay in James’s room with the rest of the boys for tonight.”

Sirius pulled away and nodded. “Right, Mrs. Potter-mum,” he said, much more uncomfortable than he had been, feeling decidedly a bit more strange about it. He had been staying in James’s room with some regularity already without her knowing. He thought that he _might_ like boys, but it was difficult being singled out. He hurried to join the others.

“You’re going to love the plot,” Sirius told them with far more enthusiasm than he felt, his words ringing false even to him as he raced up the stairs.

“What was that about?” James asked once they were in his room.

“Nothing,” Sirius said.

“But-”

“Nothing!” Sirius said more firmly.

“Did mum say something to upset you?” James asked, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

Sirius shoved James off, more forcefully than he intended, throwing James a little off balance. The last thing that he needed was for Peter and Remus to start questioning the confusion that Sirius hadn’t completely worked out himself- having James and his parents suspect that he might like blokes was one thing, but he didn’t want it spreading any further especially if he wasn’t sure. He went over to James’s bookshelf and grabbed the copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard that James’s grandfather gave him, opening it to the page with the Hopping Pot.

James looked concerned at Sirius’s reaction.

“You should be nicer to your friends,” Remus told Sirius. “James was just asking.”

Sirius blanched at that. Of course Remus would be the one to point out that he wasn’t being the best of friends right now. Their friendship still felt fragile.

“Sorry,” Remus mumbled, almost genuinely apologetic over bringing it up.

“S’fine,” Sirius said.

“Anyway, Sirius and I came up with a brilliant idea,” James said, easily glossing over the tension. “You know the tale of the Hopping Pot?”

Both Peter and Remus nodded.

“Well, Snape keeps his greasy nose pressed against his potion book all of the time. I’m surprised he can even read it with the grease smudges,” James said. “And he’s absolutely horrid towards muggleborn students-”

“Remember what he called Evans?” Sirius said.

“Exactly. So we got to wondering if the hopping pot could be real-”

“And if we could have it follow Snivellus around to torment him into being a better person,” Sirius explained.

“Well, that’s certainly better than trying to off him entirely,” Remus said.

Sirius looked guilty at that.

“I’m in,” Remus said. “He deserves worse than a cauldron following him around anyway. Maybe he’ll be nicer to Lily.”

_But not death._

“What do you say, Peter?” James asked.

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard yet!” Peter said enthusiastically.

James grinned. “We’re all onboard then?” he said.

“Yes, but how do we know that the Hopping Pot is real? Are we going to create one exactly like it?” Remus asked, not even questioning whether it was possible for them to manage it. James and Sirius were beyond skilled in transfiguration- more so than the vast majority of grown witches and wizards.

“I talked to my grandfather, and he said that he suspects that the hopping pot in the story may have been real and in my family,” James said excitedly. “We just have to find it.”

“Oh this will be easy then! Are we going over to his house to find it?” Peter asked, eyes widening with the prospect of such a magical artifact.

“Well, that’s the thing,” James said. “My grandfather gave away a lot of his cauldrons. We’re going to have to track down where they went to find it. It’s from my great-great - not sure how many ‘greats’ - grandfather, Linfred Potter of Stinchcombe.”

“So it’s lost,” Peter said, disappointed.

“Did your grandfather tell you who he gave his cauldrons to?” Remus asked.

James shook his head. “He’s very sickly right now. He’s… not going to be with us much longer. I figure that we can do some research and ask a few family friends. I’ll ask Mum and Dad first. I just haven’t asked yet, since Dad is taking it very hard,” he told them.

“Take your time,” Remus said gently. “It’s a very good idea, and we’ll do anything that we can to help.”

“Thank you,” James said, warmly.

“It’s going to be the best!” Peter squeaked delightedly. “I can just imagine Snape’s face!”

James grinned. “It should make him think twice about tormenting Evans and other muggleborn students,” he said. “Might turn him into a half decent person too.”

“If he’s smart enough to learn from it that is,” Sirius said.

“The story is meant for children. It should work,” Peter said hopefully.

“That or he’ll have to listen to miserable clanging-”

“Forever,” James said, finishing Sirius’s sentence.

“I’ll help with any researching that you need,” Remus said.

“Excellent,” James said brightly.

Sirius was inwardly glad that Remus was onboard for this plan. He had worried that Remus wouldn’t have been interested after what he had done to Snape last year, but it had seemed that truly had blown over aside from the small digs at Sirius. Snape was still abhorrent enough that in spite of what happened, he still deserved what they had to throw at him.

“Do you think the Chudley Cannons might win tomorrow?” Peter asked hopefully.

“Nah, it’s definitely going to be the Holyhead Harpies,” Sirius said.

“Either way, I’m going to enjoy seeing some of the plays. That one chaser on the Holyhead Harpies is the best. I need to get some of her plays down before the school year starts back up,” James said.

“I really want the Chudley Cannons to win,” Peter said miserably.

“They still have a chance,” Remus said placatingly.

“No they haven’t,” Sirius said. “If they score more than ten points I’ll be shocked.”

Peter sighed.

“It’s still going to be a good game though- if you look at it from a technical perspective. It’s all about the technique,” James said brightly.

“I just want my team to win for once,” Peter said.

“They’re only going to win if they get an entirely new team. They’d have a better shot with first year Hufflepuffs,” Sirius said.

“Is it really that hopeless?” Peter asked.

“Definitely,” James said.

Peter sighed.

“I was wondering,” Remus said, turning to Sirius. “Were you going to tell us how you managed to get disowned?”

“Oh! Yes, I want to hear about that,” Peter said, enthused again.

“Oh, it was a fantastic disaster,” Sirius said with a put on grin. James noted that he sounded far more enthusiastic than he had when he was telling him.

“I had to run away from home. Mum was absolutely livid. She found out that I was snogging this muggle girl, and wanted me to get betrothed to a second cousin or something like that- maybe even a first cousin. Can you imagine?” Sirius said, pulling a face.

“Disgusting!” Peter said, leaning in to listen, completely enthralled.

James raised an eyebrow in amusement at Sirius’s lies and hyperbole.

“Anyway, I brought this muggle girl up to the doorstep in spite of being grounded. I snogged her brains out. Mum caught us, so I told her to run. I made it up to my room and she started screaming at me. You know how she gets. ‘Blood traitor! Abomination!’ So I tell her that I’m never going to get married to any of my disgusting pureblooded cousins and that I’m going to marry a muggle or muggleborn someday- just to annoy her you know? She starts screaming again about moving me to Slytherin-”

“That’s impossible,” Remus said.

“Exactly!” Sirius said. “She starts in with all of the pureblooded ‘sacred blood’ nonsense about continuing the family line, and so I told her that I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I grabbed my skateboard and flew down the stairs, knocking Regulus over, the git, and yelled at her that I was never coming back. Then, of course, James’s parents came and got me. Now I’m here.”

“That’s so cool!” Peter practically squealed.

“That’s a very good story,” Remus said, with a small smile.

Sirius had to do a double take at that, realizing that Remus didn’t believe a word that he said. He glanced at James who was studying the book that his grandfather gave him, not meeting his eyes. Of course James would have told him the details.

“Is it very hard to make a skateboard fly?” Peter asked.

“It’s not too difficult. If you buy one, I’ll show you how during the fall term,” Sirius promised.

“Really? Thank you, Padfoot!” Peter said.

“Sorry we couldn’t come to the last moon by the way,” James said. “We’ve been busy here.”

“It’s all right,” Remus said, waving him off. “I wasn’t expecting you to help out over the summer. As I said, it’s much harder to sneak past my parents than it is at school.”

“We’ll try to help out next month,” Sirius said.

“Really, a couple months out of the year isn’t a big deal. You all help so much already,” Remus said. “It’s safer for all of us if we only spend full moons together at Hogwarts.”

There was a knock on the door and Fleamont stepped into the doorway a moment later. “I’m off to bed. You lot should start getting ready as well. We have to be up early tomorrow if we want to go to the pregame festivities,” he told them.

“Yes Mr. Potter,” Remus said politely.

“We’ll go to bed soon, Dad, don’t worry,” James said.

“All right. Good night!” Fleamont said.

“Goodnight Mr. Potter,” Sirius, Remus, and Peter said.

“Goodnight, Dad,” James said.

Fleamont shut the door behind him.

Remus was the first to stir into action, going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth before bed. The rest of them followed suit.

They changed into pyjamas, Sirius changing especially quickly and avoiding looking at any of his friends as they did. He was especially careful since he felt a level of guilt at the idea of looking while they were oblivious that he might actually be interested in other boys.

James conjured mattresses like his mother usually did on the floor of his bedroom along with some bedding (not as nice as his mother usually managed, but still cozy enough). He settled on one of the mattresses with them rather than his own bed out of politeness.

Sirius plopped down on the mattress next to him, Peter taking the one on the other side of James. Remus settled on the other side of Sirius on a fourth mattress.

With a wave of his wand, James shut off the lights around them. “Tomorrow will be great,” he said, shutting his eyes.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen a professional Quidditch game,” Remus said quietly. “I’m excited.”

“Me too,” Peter said.

“It’s just a shame that we already know who’s going to win,” Sirius said.

“I bet that the Chudley Cannons get more than ten points tomorrow. Say- fifty,” James said.

Sirius grinned. “You’re on- I bet they only get ten- no more than ten,” he said.

“I think they’ll get at least eighty,” Peter said optimistically.

“No more than seventy, but more than fifty,” James said.

“Are you going to place a bet Remus?” Sirius asked.

When there was no response, Sirius glanced over at him. Remus was curled up tightly under the blankets, breathing evenly. “Asleep already.”

“He must be exhausted,” James said.

“What are we betting?” Peter asked.

“Nothing- just betting for the fun of winning,” James said.

“Oh, okay,” Peter said, although he sounded disappointed.

They were quiet after that.

Sirius shut his eyes and was just starting to drift off when he heard a grunt from Peter. At first he thought that it was James, and glanced over, but James was completely still and his eyes were shut.

He shut his eyes again.

A moment later he heard heavier breathing and the sound of a hand slapping over skin at a regular interval.

He rolled over towards Remus, trying to ignore it as they often did in the dorm. It was nearly impossible to ignore this time for some reason. He knew what Peter was doing, and while the idea of it wasn’t particularly appealing, he did feel a stirring low in his midsection. He shifted a little, having to readjust his pajama bottoms with the sudden hardness between his legs.

He let his hand linger there a moment, contemplating alleviating some of the pressure. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the unbidden idea of what Peter (of all people - he did not want to be imagining that) looked like underneath his pajama bottoms intruding into his mind.

“Knock it off,” he said loudly. “At least wait until we’re all asleep, won’t you?”

“Sorry!” Peter squeaked.

“Go do it in the bathroom,” James told him firmly.

Peter got up and quickly left to the bathroom.

Sirius felt James’s hand lightly touch his shoulder.

He flinched away in shame from his confusion and curled up tighter under the blankets. The last thing that he needed was James questioning him over his reaction to Peter. It wasn’t exactly about Peter, but he doubted that James’s body had betrayed him in the same way. James wouldn't have been affected by it.

“Sorry,” James mumbled.

The room was silent and still after that.

_______________________________________

  
Fleamont Potter rapped at the door the next morning. “Are you boys up yet?”

“Getting there, Mr. Potter,” Remus said. “Thank you.”

Remus was the first to sit up, looking a little tired but it was more of the sort of chronic exhaustion that he was constantly afflicted with rather than a lack of sleep. Peter grumbled, but got out of bed fairly quickly, going to get dressed. James was the next to sit up, putting his glasses on a bit lopsided and looking more sleepy.

Sirius took longer, rubbing at his eyes and not feeling well rested at all, having spent most of the night completely out of sorts.

They all headed downstairs and had a decidedly quiet (none of them were fully awake yet) light breakfast.

“Ready?” Fleamont said afterwards.

“Yeah!” James said excitedly through a yawn.

“I told you not to stay up too late,” Fleamont chastised.

“Sorry Dad,” James said. “We did try.”

“We’ll take the Floo to the Longbottoms, then we’ll take a portkey over to the game,” Fleamont told them.

He went through the Floo first, and the rest of them followed.

“Hi James, Sirius, Remus, Peter,” Frank said brightly, nodding to them all. He was holding Alice’s hand, obviously having invited her to the game.

“Hi Frank,” James said. He nodded towards Augusta. “Mrs. Longbottom.”

“Fleamont, thank you for taking my son and his girlfriend along,” Augusta told him.

“You’re welcome,” Fleamont said pleasantly. “We were going anyway, so it’s no trouble at all. Where’s the portkey?”

“Over here,” Augusta said, pointing to a vase on the table just in front of a cabinet filled with silverware and cauldrons.

“Ready?” Fleamont asked.

They all readied themselves.

Once they landed and got their bearings, Sirius looked around at the tent that they were enclosed in, as it was one of the more intricate ones that he had ever seen. It was large enough to encase an entire party of over one hundred people milling about.

“That’s the seeker for the Holyhead Harpies!” James excitedly whispered to Sirius, pointing.

“She’s so pretty,” Peter said stunned.

“Very nice,” Sirius said, noncommittally. “She flies spectacularly.”

“Dad, do you think I could get her to sign something?” James asked.

“Go buy a poster and find out. She should,” Fleamont said, handing James a few galleons.

“Thank you!” James said quickly, running off to find a booth with posters.

“Oh, there’s scones!” Peter said excitedly.

“You just ate,” Remus said, although Peter had already wandered off.

“Do you want to look at the books?” Sirius asked Remus.

Remus shrugged. “Sure,” he said.

They walked over to a booth selling books, starting to look through them.

“Why did you lie about what happened with your Mum?” Remus asked Sirius quietly.

“It’s embarrassing,” Sirius mumbled.

“I didn’t realize that it was that bad for you at home,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius shrugged. “Never asked,” he said. “Never came up.”

“You told James,” Remus said cautiously.

“James is different. He’s not dealing with as much as you are. Being a werewolf has to be loads harder than having an awful family,” Sirius said. “I did tell you some of it anyway.”

“James has mellowed a bit, hasn’t he?” Remus remarked.

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

“More responsible,” Remus said.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder towards James, who was currently excitedly talking to several members of the Holyhead Harpies.

“He’s always been responsible. He’s still the same to me,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“He hasn’t always been that responsible. He’s changed a lot in the last year. When he writes about you, he sounds concerned,” Remus said.

“What was he writing about me?” Sirius asked, with a frown.

“Just stuff about your family. The trouble you’ve been getting into lately worries him as well,” Remus said.

“That doesn’t sound like James at all,” Sirius said, making a face.

“Just… could you try not to worry him as much? He’s worried you’re going to do something very stupid and wind up in more trouble than his parents can deal with,” Remus told him.

“James hasn’t said anything to me about it,” Sirius said stubbornly. “If he had a problem, he would tell me.”

“Look, I’m not asking you to stop with any of the normal stuff. I just mean that you have escalated over the last year and it’s starting to have an effect on all of us,” Remus said.

“You’re never going to stop bringing up the incident with Snape are you?” Sirius said bitterly.

“I didn’t bring it up, you’re the one that’s feeling guilty over it. It’s fine Padfoot. I’m really not upset over it anymore,” Remus said tiredly.

“You still seem angry to me,” Sirius snapped.

“I’m not. I’m really not,” Remus said. “I get why you hate him-“

“You really don’t. He’s the worst of the whole lot of them. He’s a half blood so he has to know that muggles and muggleborns are decent. Yet he’s spreading lies about them being violent and a hazard to all wizards. He’s convinced that they’d abuse witch and wizard children and has even said so. And Evans seems all right so I know it’s not like that,” Sirius said, having no idea what Snape’s life in Cokeworth was like. “It’s nothing compared to my family. They’re all nutters. He’s trying so hard to convince people that they’re awful- it’s the same as my mum and brother going on about how the ‘Dark Lord’ might actually be on to something.”

“I still don’t think that he deserves to die,” Remus said.

“I’m really sorry. I am. The idea was just… I had just thought about it and it seemed brilliant at the time. It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t have wanted to get back at him when he was saying such awful things- and that muggleborn bloke had just died. And he wouldn’t shut up about it. He’s going to join up with the You-Know-Who if he hasn’t already. He’s going to kill people-“

“We don’t know that,” Remus said.

“He is! I thought that you might be okay with us getting to him first. He was saying such vile things-“

“Do you have any idea how wrong that is?” Remus asked.

“Of course,” Sirius said quickly. “Of course I do now. I didn’t realize the implications for you. I’d never intentionally betray a friend like that. Like I said, I assumed that you would have done the same thing. I was just an idiot. I wasn’t even really thinking about him dying when I said it. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well, I’m not angry anymore. I understand your reasoning even if you were wrong about it. And it has to be harder dealing with him talking about muggles being abusive towards witches and wizards and purebloods being infallible when your own parents-“

“Shut up!” Sirius snapped, feeling his neck and face heat up at Remus’s words.

“Could you keep your voice down? The beater for the Chudley Cannons is staring at us.”

“Joey Jenkins?” Sirius asked, scanning the crowd. He spotted him a little ways away- and he was watching them.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up here, but it doesn’t help to ignore what your mother did to you. I’m not angry, Padfoot. Not anymore. Let’s just enjoy the game today?” Remus said.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, a little distractedly, realizing that Joey Jenkins was still looking at him. He definitely wasn’t looking at them just because they were talking loudly.

“Padfoot?”

“I’ll be back,” Sirius said, deciding that it was a far better idea than continuing the conversation with Remus. He was hitting entirely too many sore spots all in one go.

He went to a booth that was selling merchandise for the Chudley Cannons and bought a poster before making a beeline for Joey Jenkins.

“Hey, I was wondering if you could sign this?” Sirius asked him, with his most charming smile.

“Of course. I like your funny hat,” Joey said, tapping Sirius’s fisherman cap.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, cheeks going flushed at that.

“What’s your name?” Joey asked.

“Sirius. Sirius Black,” he told him, handing over the poster.

“Notable family,” Joey remarked, scrawling out a note on the poster.

“Not too fond of them myself,” Sirius admitted.

“I would guess- with your funny muggle hat,” Joey said with a grin, tapping the cap again. The tap seemed louder than it was with it so close to his ears. “Not to mention the muggle clothes.”

“They’re fun to wear,” Sirius said with a charming grin.

“Very fashionable for a pureblood. It’s a wonder that you know what’s in style right now,” Joey told him with a smile, handing over the poster. “Not like him.” He nodded his head to another wizard in outdated clothing from the 1920s.

“That’s naff,” Sirius said, wrinkling his nose.

“Isn’t it?” Joey said. He tugged at some velvet detailing on Sirius’s button up shirt. “I like this though.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said, keenly aware of the amount of touching he was doing. He didn’t mind the attention. Joey wasn’t the first Quidditch player that Sirius had found entirely too interesting for his own good.

“Do you want to come take a look at my beater’s bat before the game?” Joey asked.

“Sure,” Sirius said, more naively than either of them realized.

Fleamont put his hand on Sirius’s shoulder, making him stiffen immediately. “Come along, son,” he told Sirius. “We need to go pull James away from the Holyhead Harpies before he embarrasses himself. Good day.” He nodded towards Joey.

“I’m very sorry, sir,” Joey said, face bright red. “I didn’t realize…”

“No harm done. He’s a bit of a handful. Come along Sirius,” Fleamont said, guiding him away.

Sirius paled a bit, but didn’t say anything, letting himself be led away by Fleamont.

James’s eyes lit up when he saw them and rushed over. “I got a poster signed by all of the Holyhead Harpies,” he said excitedly.

“That’s great!” Sirius said, glad that Fleamont had finally moved his hand from his shoulder.

“James, keep an eye on Sirius. I’m going to find Remus and Peter so that we can get to our seats early,” Fleamont said.

“Okay, Dad,” James said. He looked at Sirius curiously after Fleamont walked away. “How did you manage to get in trouble here?”

“I think that I nearly got snogged by a member of the Chudley Cannons,” Sirius admitted, laughing nervously.

“What? Really? Only you would somehow manage to nearly have your first kiss with a professional Quidditch player- a very bad one, but still a professional Quidditch player,” James said, eyes wide.

“Yeah, your dad put a stop to it though,” Sirius said, almost feeling thankful that he had.

“Bad luck. Which player was it?” James asked.

“Doesn’t matter- look there’s Remus and Peter now,” Sirius said, rushing over to join them.

They headed out to the Quidditch pitch, Fleamont taking them to some of the nicest seats there were available.

Frank and Alice waved at them. “I saw you talking to Jenkins,” Frank told Sirius. “Did you get your poster signed.

“Ah, yeah,” Sirius said, holding it up.

“I thought you hated the Chudley Cannons,” Peter said.

“I didn’t say that I hated them,” Sirius said. “I just said that they were going to lose spectacularly.”

“You were talking to Joey Jenkins?” James asked, both eyebrows raised in surprise.

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs.

James coughed, but didn’t say anything else.

“James got his poster signed by the entire Holyhead Harpies team,” Sirius told Frank.

“That’s incredible!” Frank said.

“Oh look, the game is starting!” Alice said excitedly, shaking Frank’s shoulder.

They all - mostly - focused eagerly, on the game, watching the plays. Sirius’s eyes drifted to James, who was muttering something complicated about the technical aspects and possibly even about airspeed velocity throughout turns. Remus looked exhausted still, but he was leaning forward in his seat, enthralled by the game. Peter occasionally whispered excited questions about Quidditch techniques to James who was too distracted to answer in full, although he made attempts for Peter’s sake.

Sirius glanced over at Frank who was cuddled up close with Alice, arm wrapped around her shoulder. She had her head tilted and resting on his shoulder.

He felt a pang of envy at that. He doubted that anyone would ever hold him the same way Frank was holding Alice just then. He visibly adored her, and leaned in to whisper something in her ear that made her laugh.

Even if Sirius really only did like men after all, he couldn’t picture someone holding him like that. If he were with a woman, it would be the other way around. He couldn’t picture that. He tried picturing one of the Holyhead Harpies holding him like that, and it just made him uncomfortable. His thoughts drifted to Joey Jenkins, and even though that seemed more right he couldn’t imagine him holding onto him the way Frank held Alice.

“Twenty points,” James told Sirius, grinning.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“The Chudley Cannons have twenty points so far. That’s closer to my bet than yours,” James told him.

“You always win Quidditch bets anyway,” Sirius said airly, staring out into the field.

James frowned, but stood up to cheer excitedly when the Holyhead Harpies scored another point.

Sirius remained somewhat distracted throughout the rest of the game.

When the seeker from the Holyhead Harpies caught the snitch, they all stood and cheered loudly.

“I won our bet,” James told Sirius and Peter somewhat smugly, as the Chudley Cannons had only managed to score fifty points.

They lingered for a while at the stadium, eagerly discussing the game, James detailing some of the plays in vivid detail much to Peter's wonderment and delight. It was a while before they headed out for the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

That evening after the game, they all had dinner at the Potters home. Frank and Alice left afterwards, but Remus and Peter stayed.

“Do you suppose Frank is shagging Alice yet?” Peter asked, once they were upstairs.

“Doubt it,” James said. “He loves her too much to rush it.”

“I dunno. They snogged at the game,” Peter said.

“Doesn’t mean that they’re shagging,” James insisted.

“It’s really not our business,” Remus said.

“I really liked Alice,” Peter said with a sigh.

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “We’ve known for ages that she was going to get together with Frank though.”

“I know,” Peter said miserably.

Sirius looked over at Remus. “Do you like anyone?” he asked.

Remus shook his head. “I can’t date anyone. I’m a werewolf,” he said.

“It doesn’t work like that,” Sirius said. “Of course you can date someone.”

“I really can’t,” Remus insisted. “I’m just setting myself up for heartbreak if I do like anyone, because I can’t be sure that they’ll be fine dating a werewolf.”

“You’ll find someone,” James told him. “It’ll just take time.”

“I doubt it,” Remus said with a frown. “I can’t even have children. They might end up werewolves. I can’t do that to anyone. Most people eventually want families and children. I can’t really imagine dating someone long term, so it’s just not fair to date anyone at all.”

“Maybe you’ll find someone who doesn’t want children?” Sirius said hopefully. He knew better than to talk Remus into considering children in the future. He had suffered enough as a werewolf that it made sense that he wouldn’t want to pass it on to anyone else. Remus would have to come to that decision by his own. Spending the rest of his life alone seemed like a bleak prospect though.

“Doubtful. What about you?” Remus asked Sirius.

“Me?” Sirius said. He shook his head quickly. “I have too much to do. I don’t have time for girls. I’m going to be too busy fighting dark wizards after school to settle down.”

James didn’t comment on how the speech sounded rehearsed.

“What about you, James? Are you going to get back together with Mary or are you just going to hope Evans changes her mind?” Remus asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” James said, frowning. “Do you think she would change her mind?”

“Maybe?” Peter said optimistically.

James groaned with disappointment.

“We can always hope,” Remus said politely.

“Really? You too? Betrayed by my friends. Padfoot?” James asked.

“Not anytime soon,” Sirius said. “Maybe eventually?”

“It’s hopeless then,” James said. He sighed and looked pensieve.

“Don’t worry about it. She might come around, or you might find someone better,” Sirius told him.

“Thank you,” James said, although he still didn’t look as cheerful as he had before. None of them did.

___________________________________

“Bathilda Bagshot!” Sirius exclaimed, jumping onto James’s bed and taking away the Quidditch book that he had been reading. He set it aside.

“Yes, mum’s visiting her,” James said, looking at Sirius, not able to follow his line of thinking for once.

“No, I mean that she knows everything. Everything about everyone! She’s very nosy. She would know exactly who Harry gave his cauldrons to,” Sirius said.

"That's brilliant," James said with a grin.   
  
"Thanks. I thought so," Sirius said.  
  
"I can't get over how brilliant that is," James said.

Sirius smirked. "I try."

James flopped back onto the bed. "It's perfect," he said.

Sirius flopped back as well, resting next to him, legs dangling off the edge of the bed.

It was quiet for a moment while James continued to process the idea and how to go about asking Bathilda, although Sirius liked to believe he was basking in the perfection of it.

"Hey James?" he said.

"Yeah?" James asked, turning his head to look at Sirius.

Sirius kept looking at the ceiling, too nervous to look him in the eye. "I think that I might be gay," he said, feeling his throat go dry and the almost electrical sting of fear.  
  
"It's okay Padfoot," James told him. "I said that it was all right if you decided that you were, and I meant it."

"Thanks," Sirius said quietly, the relief palpable between them as his tightened muscles eased on the bed.

"How do you know you are though?" James asked curiously.

Sirius hesitated. "Well, you think about Lily a lot, right?" he said.

"Yeah."

"Well, I don't. I know Lily's your girl, but I don't think about her- or any girl really. And sometimes I think about blokes," he said.

"And?" James asked, puzzled.

"And I don't think about holding a girl like Lily or snogging her. I think that I'd like to have a bloke's arms around me. I wouldn't want to be treated like a girl either, but I'd like to be treated like I'm special all the same," Sirius said.

"I don't know if that means that you really like blokes though," James said hesitantly. "I don't know much about it, but I know there's more to liking blokes than just hugging."

Sirius's cheeks reddened as he got flustered. "I know that. I'm the one that's been thinking about it after all. I want more than that. I just figured that you wouldn't want to know all of the details."

"Ah, sorry," James said, embarrassed as well. He cleared his throat. "I just... I noticed that sometimes you do wear make-up and I wasn't sure if you were... The bloke that does the stuff women do- well that sort of bloke couldn't exactly have the most fun time of it, right?"

Sirius looked over at him. "The more ‘feminine’ one isn't always the one that does that kind of thing you know," he told him.

"Oh. Right. Sorry for assuming," James said awkwardly.

"Eh, s'alright," Sirius mumbled. "You're not completely wrong, though- I think. I mean... I do know that people think that the one that's—well dressed like me—they think that we're the ones that like that sort of thing, you know? So, it's sort of—well I think that I do want to do those kinds of things with a bloke someday, so wearing all of this is sort of a way of saying it without having to talk about it. It’s brave to be that open about it, I think."

James took a moment to process that. He struggled to articulate his thoughts in a way that wasn’t offensive. "Doesn't it sound, erm, painful?"

"A little. I guess, but it can't be too bad, or people wouldn't do it," Sirius said.

"It doesn't exactly sound pleasant though, does it?" James said hesitantly, looking at Sirius curiously.

Sirius looked away from James. "Well, I wouldn't be interested in blokes if it sounded awful," he admitted uncomfortably. He cleared his throat. James did not need to know the details of any private exploration he did. "I have thought about this you know."

"Right," James said, realizing just then that he was potentially being a bit insensitive. "So, is there anyone you like?"

Sirius flopped back over to face James. He certainly couldn’t tell him the truth. James loved Lily and was probably straight. They were best friends- practically brothers or so everyone said. "Dunno. I mean, I've thought about it. I thought I might have liked one of the beaters on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. He's dating Dorcas now though, so there's not much chance of that happening," he said.

"Sorry," James said. "That has to be worse than trying to get a date with Evans."

"I think I'll have more luck getting a date than that," Sirius said dryly.

"Hey!" James said, elbowing him although he was grinning.

Sirius laughed.

“You just about snogged Joey Jenkins too, right?” James asked.

“I think so,” Sirius said.

“Only you would manage to nearly have your first proper snog with a professional Quidditch player- a bad one, mind, but a professional Quidditch player all the same,” James said.

“I wish that I had managed to snog him,” Sirius said, mulling over the idea much like he had the last several nights. He touched his fingers lightly to his lips in thought.

“So, you’re really sure about it?” James asked, realizing that Sirius sounded genuinely wistful.

Sirius felt uneasy. “I’m not entirely sure. I’ve never felt that way about any girl though. Just blokes. I think… I think I probably am bent.”

“I hope you find a boyfriend that treats you proper,” James said, trying to ignore the odd sensation of jealousy he felt at his own words.

Sirius looked over at him and smiled sadly. “Me too.”  
_______________________________________

“This one. I want this one,” Sirius said, staring at a Royal Enfeild motorcycle that was done with a mesmerizing gloss paint finish. He had managed to drag James and his father into a muggle motorbike shop in London.

“You’re practically drooling,” James said with a grin.

Sirius laughed and ran his hand over the seat, eyeing the detailing. “I might be,” he joked. “It’s going to be a one of a kind ride.”

“It looks a bit dangerous,” Fleamont said, frowning.

“It won’t be- not after I’ve charmed it,” Sirius reassured him. He gripped at the handlebars, getting a feel for them. He didn’t think he had ever coveted a material object so much in his life. He had always been able to afford anything that he wanted, but muggle items like motorbikes were verboten in his family.

“That’s not strictly legal, I don’t think,” Fleamont said. “You know, if it gets back to muggles…”

“I’ll be careful. Please? Please Mr. Potter- dad?” Sirius begged.

Fleamont’s face softened at that. “How much is it?”

“Nearly £4,000,” Sirius said, pointing to the sign. “That’s 1039 galleons, 9 sickles, and 13 knuts.”

Fleamont looked displeased by those figures, but appeared to be contemplating it.

“Please? James will be using it too, so it’s really for the both of us,” Sirius said.

James elbowed him. “I won’t be using it that much,” he said, although he planned to ride with Sirius almost every time.

“It’s loads cooler than a broom. Plus I’m never going to be any good at apparation, so I ought to have a good way of getting about, right?” Sirius said.

“It’s a lot of money for a muggle object. There are nice brooms for much less,” Fleamont told him.

“Please Mr. Potter-dad? I really love it. Please?” Sirius begged.

Fleamont sighed. “Fine. You can have it.”

“YES! Thank you, Mr. Potter-dad. Thank you! Thank you!” he said, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Fleamont smiled and awkwardly patted his back.

“Thanks, dad,” James said, excited over the prospect of zipping around in the air on the motorbike.

“You’re welcome, both of you,” Fleamont said.

“You’re the best,” Sirius said, moving away from Fleamont and eyeing the bike again.

“Let me just go pay and we’ll take one home,” Fleamont said, going to the sales desk.

“I can’t believe your dad is buying me a motorbike,” Sirius said. “Will you help me get it flying?” he asked james.

“Of course. We’ll get it flying just as well as any broom on the market,” James told him.

“Splendid!” Sirius said with a grin. “It might take me awhile to get the hang of driving it.”

“As long as you don’t crash while I’m on it,” James said.

“I won’t,” Sirius promised.

Fleamont came back with Sirius’s new motorbike- the same one as the floor model. “Ready? I’m afraid we’ll have to apparate home. I’m not sure about taking this through the Floo,” he said.

“That’s fine,” Sirius said.

“Hold on,” he told them.

James and Sirius grasped onto Fleamont’s arm, and a moment later they were out by the storage shed of the Potter house.

After Sirius finished retching in the grass, he smiled weakly. “I can try riding it now, right?”

“It’s your motorbike. Have fun,” Fleamont told them, heading back inside.

Sirius grinned and climbed up on it, marveling over the motorbike really belonging to him. He waved his wand, enlarging it to make room for James. “Well, hop on,” he said.

“Aren’t we going to make it fly first?” James said.

“No way- that’ll take ages. This is just a test run,” Sirius said.

“What about protective charms?” James asked.

“Fine,” Sirius said. He cast a few of the most important ones for crashes. “There. Happy?”

“Hold on,” James said, casting a few extra charms on it. After he had finished, he climbed up behind Sirius and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Sirius licked his lips, realizing that he hadn’t accounted for the necessary closeness between the two of them. James’s chest was warm against his back, and he could feel the strength in James’s arms, wrapped tightly around him.

“Ready?” he said, keenly aware of the odd timbre to his own voice and slight fluttering sensation of quickening heartbeats.

“Ready,” James said.

Sirius turned the key in the motorbike, and it roared to life. Sirius grinned at the sound of the engine.

“That’s loud!” James said.

“What?”

“LOUD!” James said.

“Yeah!” Sirius agreed.

“ONE SECOND!” James said, grabbing out his wand and casting a spell so that they would be able to hear each other over the noise.

“Oh, that’s better,” Sirius said. “Brill.”

“Ta,” James said. He squeezed his arms around Sirius again, holding on tightly. “Now we can go.”

Sirius grinned and drove the motorbike slowly around the yard, getting a feel for it first. He tried to focus on the steering and control rather than James’s breath against the back of his neck, his strong arms, and his hips against his backside.

James mumbled a spell to keep Sirius’s hair from whipping back in his face. “Now you can go faster,” he said.

“How fast?” Sirius asked.

“As long as we don’t die, I’m fine with it,” James said.

Sirius barked out a laugh and revved the engine.

They sped around the Potter house, and Sirius pulled onto the path to the muggle village. He sped quickly down the road, kicking up dirt until they hit pavement.

“Whoo!” James hotted, ebullient.

“Yeah!” Sirius yelled, zipping faster until the motorbike hit maximum speed.

James squeezed him tighter, crinkling the leather jacket Sirius was wearing, laughing. “I can’t wait until we get this thing to fly!”

“It’s already almost like flying!” Sirius said.

“Almost!” James admitted. “Almost as good!”

Sirius kept zooming down the road through town, until they came up on another car. Sirius swerved around it, but didn’t have the necessary control yet. “Shit,” he cursed, swerving off of the road and into a tree.

The motorbike fell over and knocked both James and Sirius to the ground, knocking the air out of them. A few feet away from Sirius, James started laughing.

“You’re awful at this!” James told him, still laughing hard.

“Am not! The car was just stopped for no good reason!” Sirius said.

“It’s a red light! You remember learning about red lights in muggle studies, right?” James said.

“Oh. I forgot about those,” Sirius said, sitting up. He looked over at the bike. “The bike’s okay.”

“No thanks to you,” James said. “I was the one that put that charm on it.”

“Good thinking,” Sirius said.

They looked up when a muggle car with flashing lights pulled up to them.

“Are you all right?” a muggle man in a funny looking outfit asked them.

“We’re fine,” James said, realizing that it was a muggle law enforcement officer. He wasn’t sure precisely how to deal with the situation, and opted for politeness since they couldn’t exactly get away with obliviating him at their age and he did try to be kind to muggles. “My friend just crashed a bit.”

“A bit?” the muggle man said, appalled. “You could have died. You realize that, right?”

“We didn’t though, right James?” Sirius said cheekily.

“Where do your parents live?” the muggle asked, frowning at them.

“Uhm…” James said, before giving him the address, barely able to remember the muggle street address. Wizarding addresses were always easier to manage.

“How old are you?” he asked them.

“Fifteen,” James said.

“Sixteen,” Sirius said.

“And what are your names?” the officer asked.

“James Potter, and this is my brother,” James said, nodding towards Sirius.

“And what’s his name?” the officer asked, writing some of this down.

“Sirius. It’s like the star- S-I-R-I-U-S,” James spelled for him. “Can we go home now?”

“I will be taking you both home and having a word with your parents,” the muggle man told them.

“I have to take my bike home. Dad will be angry if I don’t. He just bought it for me today,” Sirius told him.

“We’ll get it home,” the muggle man said. He hitched the motorbike to the back of his police car.

“Get in the back- I’m taking you home,” he told them.

“Yes sir,” James said politely. Sirius followed suit, sitting next to him.

“Now where do you live again?” he asked them.

“I can give you directions,” James said. “Go back down this street.” He pointed.

“Your father really shouldn’t be letting you drive motorbikes. It’s irresponsible. Crotch rocket death traps,” the officer muttered.

“I had to beg him to buy it,” Sirius said.

“How fast were you going when you crashed?” the officer asked.

“A little too fast,” Sirius said.

“Could I see your license?” he asked, still driving them down the path towards the Potter house.

“Erm… I haven’t gotten it yet,” Sirius admitted.

“You both seem like good kids- a little bit of a troublemaker, but good kids all of the same. I’ll let you by with a warning and talk to your parents,” the officer told them.

“Thank you, sir,” James said politely.

Sirius smirked at James who elbowed him. James had the officer completely fooled with his charade of politeness and well mannered behavior.

“This it?” the officer asked, pulling up to the Potter house.

“Yes, sir,” James said.

He parked the car and got out, swaggering up to the door. He knocked politely.

Euphemia and Fleamont came to the door, both looking bemused.

“Are these your kids?” the officer asked, pointing at them. “James and Sirius Potter?”

Fleamont didn’t correct him on the name. “Yes, sir,” he said. “Are they in trouble?”

“Well, young Sirius there was driving a motorbike without a license. He was speeding and crashed into a tree. They’re both very fortunate to be alive,” the officer told them.

Euphemia eyed James and Sirius wearily. “It was inevitable,” she said.

“Do they get into trouble often?” the officer asked. “They seem like good kids.”

“Just me,” Sirius said brightly with a cheeky grin.

“Go to your room,” Fleamont told him, afraid that he was going to stick his foot in his mouth and complicate this more than necessary. He didn’t feel like interfering with muggles more than he had to and didn’t like the idea of messing with them. “We’ll talk shortly.”

“Can I have my bike back?” Sirius asked.

“Of course. Just go to your room for now,” Fleamont told him.

Sirius nodded and headed inside.

James followed close behind him.

“You’re brilliant. I think you kept us from being arrested!” Sirius told James.

“One of us had to,” James said, grinning. “I haven’t been able to pull that one over on someone in years. He actually believed that I was the good one.”

“You do have the innocent swotty bespeckled look going for you,” Sirius said with a grin.

Fleamont poked his head in the room. “We sent the policeman on his way,” he told them.

“Thanks, Dad,” James said. “We’ll try not to get arrested ever again.”

“Try,” Sirius added with a half smirk.

“Try not to ride it in muggle towns until you figure out muggle traffic lights or can get away from trouble yourself without attracting attention?” Fleamont suggested.

“Will do, Mr. Potter,” Sirius agreed.

“Thanks,” Fleamont said. “I put the motorbike in the storage shed.”

“Let’s go figure out how to make it fly,” Sirius told James.

James grinned. “Race you,” he said, running down the stairs, nearly knocking Fleamont over. Sirius chased behind him, laughing.   
________________________________________

"Aren't you ready for breakfast yet?" James asked, rapping at Sirius's door again.

"Go ahead without me, I'll be right down," Sirius said.

"All right, but if you stay up here too much longer, it's going to get cold," James said.

Sirius heard his rapid thudding footsteps as James bounded down the stairs.

He went back to looking in the mirror.

"You're going to give everyone a fright at breakfast," the talking mirror scolded him.

Sirius frowned and wiped at his red lips with a tissue until the garish lipstick came off. He grabbed a paler pink shade and put it on instead.

"Now you look like a muggle girl," the mirror told him.

"Shut up," he told it, tossing a pair of boxers over the talking top portion of it. He slid in a pair of earrings that looked like something a glam rock star would wear and smoothed out the mid length muggle peasant dress that he was wearing. Even though the dress wasn’t that different from wizard robes, and wouldn’t really cause pureblood wizards to realize it was something muggle women wore, it would be shocking enough to James’s parents. He had even seen wizards get men and women’s fashion mixed up and wear it out around muggles before.

He gave himself a once over in the mirror, waffling between the genuinely more feminine look and a more campy style that was intentionally over the top. It wasn’t necessarily about the artifice of the femininity, so much as it was the blatant display that would catch Mr. and Mrs. Potter’s attention- and potentially ire.

Still, there was something alluring about the idea of being treated as more delicate somehow- something he sure as hell wasn’t, and would never be. It was more fleeting than even the lipstick would be (assured to come off with whatever he decided to drink for breakfast), more ephemeral than any of his attempts at casting a patronus had been. For a moment, he could almost see himself being someone special that someone like Frank, James, Remus, or a star Quidditch player would want to envelope in strong arms.

The vision of himself in that state didn’t hold for long though, and he was reminded that he was still entirely too tall for another boy to want to love that way, looked entirely too much like his younger brother, and was wearing what felt more like facepaint for Quidditch matches than the naturally applied coats of cosmetics that muggle girls wore.

Either way, it was certain to get a reaction at the breakfast table.

He headed downstairs, only marginally disappointed in his appearance.

Even if he had the good sense to know better than to dress up in a campy outfit that straddled the line between drag and a serious expression of femininity, he was still wearing it. He even had the good sense to know better than to antagonize the Potters about this of all things, but he couldn’t make it stick. He realized that by pushing it like this, he was potentially getting himself thrown out of another home and family.

He headed to the dining room and James was the first to spot him, chastisement for taking forever to get dressed instantly forgotten as he just gaped at him.

Sirius could read so many unsaid words in James's wide eyed expression including ' _are you intentionally trying to upset my parents?', 'why do this first thing in the morning? They're going to make a fuss all day',_ and ' _are you an idiot'?_ among the more obvious.

There was a moment of stunned silence as he sat down at the table.

"That's erm, an interesting outfit you're wearing there," Fleamont said, tone a bit stilted.

“Finally deigned to join us at the breakfast table, Mademoiselle Padfoot?” James said playfully to try to cut through the tension.

Sirius stuck his tongue out. “I couldn’t keep you waiting all day, Monsieur Prongs.”

Euphemia pursed her lips and shut her eyes as if inwardly trying to draw some sort of strength to deal with this. "He's worn clothes like this before- no need to stare," she said. "Back to breakfast."

Sirius almost felt a little guilty- Euphemia had gone to the trouble of making homemade croissants with a strawberry jam.

"This is far more feminine than the other outfits," Fleamont said, not sounding too upset by it, but definitely baffled and not wanting to ignore it like Euphemia seemed to be intent on doing.

"We're all well aware of that, now eat your breakfast," Euphemia said.

"But-"

"Breakfast."

James watched his parent's exchange and then looked back at Sirius. His look was almost pleading. ' _They're not the same as your family. They're nice enough- why do you have to continually intentionally upset them? My dad just bought you a motorbike of all things.'_

Sirius picked at his croissants for a moment, avoiding James's gaze and watching his parents instead.

Fleamont was still staring and Euphemia was trying to feign some level of normalcy.

"Is that lipstick?" Fleamont asked finally.

"A word privately?" Euphemia told Fleamont before standing abruptly and heading to the kitchen.

"Excuse me," Fleamont said, standing and tucking in his chair.

James and Sirius stared as he headed into the kitchen.

"Sirius, I know what you're doing. They're not the Black family. You shouldn't be upsetting mum. Do you even like wearing stuff like that?" James asked, voice pained.  
  
"Shh," Sirius said, leaning to try to overhear what was being said in the kitchen.

“He’s trying to get a rise out of us. We can’t just ignore the boy. He obviously wanted to talk about it if he wore that to breakfast,” Fleamont said.

"Boundaries, Fleamont. He's just pushing. It's the same as when he made everything in my kitchen talk to me incessantly. If we don't react to it-"

Sirius lost track of their conversation as James interrupted.

"Don't shhh me. You're just trying to upset mum and I don't know why you're doing it. You don't have to live with your family anymore, so I don't know why you're so angry. I understood when everything was awful, but this is different. I understood with your parents, professors, and even what happened with Moony, but this is my Mum and Dad," James said. "Why intentionally set them off by wearing that ridiculous get up?"

"It's not ridiculous! Well... most of it is ridiculous," Sirius conceded, although his fingers went to rest lightly on the lipstick that he'd spent over twenty muggle pounds on acquiring at a muggle boutique in secret.

"Even if it's not ridiculous, you know those are girl's clothes. They're not-" James said but stopped himself as both Fleamont and Euphemia entered the room and sat back down.

Fleamont ate a bite of his croissant quietly, decidedly not looking at Sirius.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" Euphemia asked them brightly.

"Erm, we were going to fly a bit since I need to keep up with Quidditch practice," James said.

"That sounds good- it's a lovely day for flying," Euphemia said.

The glance that Fleamont shot Sirius indicated that he didn't think that a dress was suited for flying, although he kept mum.

"I'll do a bit of gardening today if either of you would like to help. I have a few ingredients for some of my potions that need to be picked today," Euphemia said.

"We'll help- right Sirius?" James pressed.

"Of course," Sirius said, although he still felt a bit on edge.

"Wonderful," Euphemia said with a pleased smile. "That will help a great deal. I'm having tea with Bathilda this afternoon and we should get the gardening finished in time if we're all working together."

"How is she doing?" Fleamont asked.

"Very well- she wants to talk to me about some of the work that she's been doing," Euphemia said.

Sirius watched the conversation, although he stopped listening to it as he poked at his jam. There was something unsatisfying over the way the Potters dealt with conflict, and he wasn't sure why. His own mother would have yelled at him over the muggle clothes (whether she knew it was intended for girls or not) and there would have been some sort of discussion. He knew he shouldn't push anything with the Potters. He wasn't sure that he would have a place to stay if he upset them too much, but he still found himself purposefully irritating them at times.

Part of him just couldn't stop it. He knew part of the behavior was to get out of his own head for a while. He couldn't help but think on his own parents and how much they would have yelled at the dinner table. He trusted James and the Potters, but he still couldn't fully trust them- he kept expecting that any bit of his misbehavior would lead to a disproportionate reaction like it had at home.

He wondered if that was what Euphemia meant by 'boundaries.' It was frustrating being analyzed by parents and even more frustrating that James had interrupted so that he couldn't stay the one step ahead of them that he wanted to be. It was even more frustrating that he knew that they were trying to sort everything out.

"-and she's working on a new essay for the historical-"

"I'm gay," Sirius blurted, staring at Euphemia and Fleamont.

"What?" Fleamont said, startled by the abruptness.

"Gay. I am gay," Sirius said.

Euphemia's face went red, and she glanced at Fleamont, flustered.

“I told you that he was trying to tell us something,” Fleamont said.

They were all quiet then. James kept his gaze decidedly on his croissants, as if they were the most interesting thing in the room.

Sirius stared at them, feeling decidedly uncomfortable.

Euphemia opened her mouth to say something once she regained her composure, but before she got it out Sirius waved his wand. The breakfast table was suddenly adhered to the ceiling and the entire room was flipped upside down.

“I’ll leave,” he mumbled. Sirius rushed out of the room, leaving them stuck to the ceiling.

He kept running outside of the Potter house, heading to his motorbike and started the engine.

He started towards the muggle village, lifting up into they sky before the engine stalled out and landed it somewhat ungracefully.

"Shit," he cursed. It took a moment for him to get the engine started again.

After he got it started he heard the POP of apparition, making him jump. He turned in surprise to see Euphemia.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and turned the keys to the motorbike so that it went quiet. "Don't you ever run off like that again- and wearing that! Do you know how dangerous that is? There are muggle homes not too far from here, you know. Do you know what people would do to you if they saw you wearing a dress? It's far too dangerous!"

Sirius stood awkwardly still, hands outstretched at his sides. "You're not angry?" he asked.

"Of course not. We suspected, of course, but it's different from hearing it. We're not upset though," she said.

"You're not going to kick me out?" He questioned.

"Never. You can stay as long as you like," Euphemia told him. “You’re always welcome at our home.”

Sirius swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around her tightly. His eyes stung with tears as she patted his back, rubbing it to soothe him like she would a child although he was far taller than her. He cried into the crook of her shoulder until he was hiccoughing from it.

"It's alright. You're alright. I'm not Walburga. You're all right," Euphemia soothed.

"My mum hates me. I hate her, but I hate that she hates me," he said.

"She doesn't hate you," Euphemia told him.

"She doesn't love me," Sirius said.

"I supposed that feels like the same thing coming from a mother," Euphemia said quietly, not contradicting his statement. It wasn’t going to do any good to deny it. Even if Walburga had loved him in her own way, it wasn’t the same as truly loving and accepting him. The truth of the matter was brutal coming from either of them, but to let it go unspoken was just a denial of everything that had happened and the trauma Sirius felt. She squeezed him tightly. "Why don't we head home?"

"I don't want James to know that I've been crying," he mumbled.

"We'll walk back then," Euphemia said. "It will give you a chance to calm down."

Sirius nodded and withdrew from her arms. "I'm sorry I flipped your dining room upside down."

"That's all right- it was harmless and Fleamont should manage to turn it right side up again before dinner," Euphemia said, looping one of her arms through Sirius's to lead him back down the path.

"Thank you," Sirius said, walking his motorbike along beside him.

"You're welcome- it should be a simple spell," Euphemia told him.

Sirius glanced over at her. "Are you upset about my outfit?" he asked.

"No," she assured him.

"Was Mr. Potter?" he asked.

"Ah- I don't think so. Not really. He was just trying to understand it. We thought that you were trying to upset us intentionally, although I suppose it makes a bit more sense now- I mean, we suspected that you liked other young men, but we didn't really know for certain until you told us. I know other men such as yourself might dress that way at times- so it doesn't bother me," she said.

"I was trying to upset you both," Sirius admitted. Her last statement was off putting, but he knew that she meant well, so he didn’t push it.

"Why?" Euphemia asked.

"I don't know," Sirius mumbled.

"Well, we're not going to kick you out over liking other men, and we're not going to kick you out for wearing a muggle dress. It would be nice if you would stop trying to get a rise out of us though. You know that I'm not Walburga. You know that we're better than that right?" Euphemia questioned.

"I know. I just didn't know for sure."

"I wish you'd stop mumbling. I'm not vexed with you. And you know now that things will be fine, right?" Euphemia asked.

"Yes. I know now," Sirius said. He did feel better. They weren’t going to throw him out or treat him poorly like his own parents did just because he misbehaved. More importantly, they weren’t going to treat him poorly or throw him out over something he really didn’t have control over. He felt safer and more secure than he had in a long while.

"You do have to promise me that you won't wear the dress outdoors again though- not because I disapprove, but just because it's dangerous," Euphemia said. “Muggles are still very odd about that sort of thing.”

"I was just wearing it to get a reaction out of you and Mr. Potter. Don't worry about it," Sirius said, cheeks turning a bit pink.

"You're not getting off the hook that easy. Even if it was a joke, I still need you to promise me that you won't wear it in public, and that you won't let people know that you do like other young men until you're older and can find safe places to be open about it. At the very least, don’t let muggles know. Promise me," Euphemia said.

Sirius avoided looking at her eyes, looking at the path instead. "I promise," he said quietly.

"Good," Euphemia said.

When they reached the Potter house, James was waiting at the front door for them.

"Go get changed so that you can help me in the garden," Euphemia told Sirius. "James, we can go get started."

"But-"

"Come along," Euphemia said.

James leaned against the doorframe, staring at Sirius as he headed inside.

Euphemia headed out to the garden. "James," she called, not bothering to look back, just anticipating him to catch up with her.

Fleamont caught James's eye, and James looked guilty at being caught staring.

"He's not a girl, James," Fleamont told his son gently.

"I know that!" James said quickly. He hurried to catch up with Euphemia. His heart dropped at his father’s statement and he didn’t want to analyze why. His mind kept wandering back to Sirius’s words and the idea that it was more about what the clothes hinted at and about what Sirius liked (or at least thought that he _might_ like) than the clothes themselves. It wasn’t about him being a girl or like a girl, and _that_ was the real problem. He was _definitely_ not confusing Sirius with a girl.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

“Mum, we’re going out for a bit,” James said as he went through the living room, this time dressed in simple wizard robes rather than muggle clothes.

“That’s fine dear,” Euphemia said. She looked up at them and did a double take. “Where are you going?”

“Godric’s Hollow,” James said.

“Why?” she asked, eyeing Sirius’s muggle clothes consisting of a band t-shirt (with New York Dolls emblazoned on the from in a bold typeface), jeans, boots, and a very eccentric looking hat.

“We’re going to go see Bathilda Bagshot,” James said brightly.

“Bathilda? Do you want me to come along? I adore visiting with her,” Euphemia said brightly.

“No, we’re just going to ask her some questions about the Hopping Pot,” Sirius said.

“Still stuck on that idea?” Euphemia asked. “Why is that story so fascinating to you?”

“Well, it’s a very moral tale you know,” James said. “And with these times… it would do us all some good to have a cauldron that has sympathies that lie with muggles.”

“I suppose so,” Euphemia said. “Have fun.”

“Thanks, Mum,” James said.

“We’ll be back soon,” Sirius promised.

Sirius headed outside to the motorbike.

He straddled it and gripped the handlebars, James climbing up behind him and settling. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius’s waist. They were both more acutely aware of the contact between them with James’s chest resting against Sirius’s back.

“Hopefully it flies okay,” James said offhandedly. They had taken ages working on it, with James working out the nuances of more complicated flying and turns, with Sirius doing some of the charmwork to get it going.

“It will,” Sirius said confidently.

His hold tightened around Sirius even more as they lifted up into the air.

Sirius went higher and higher until they were whizzing through the clouds, sailing over the land far below them.

“No trees to crash into up here,” James joked.

“Very funny, Prongs,” he said.

Sirius intentionally did a few test loops in the air, much to James’s delight. “Woohoo!”

“This is great, right?” Sirius asked, grinning.

“This is almost as nice as a broom,” James told him.

“It’s better than a broom,” Sirius said.

“If it is, it’s only because I helped you charm it to handle as well as my Nimbus!” James told him.

“It’s faster than your Nimbus,” Sirius told him.

“It might be,” James admitted.

“It is!” Sirius told him. To prove it he swooped down at a very reckless speed, the ground seeming to approach them frighteningly rapidly.

James just yelled with excitement as Sirius swooped up again and finally hovered just outside of Godric’s Hollow.

He landed them far enough outside of the wizarding village that no one would notice that the motorbike had been flying when they rolled down the streets.

“Which one is Bagshot’s house?” Sirius asked him.

“That one,” James said, pointing up ahead.

Sirius parked the motorbike out front and hopped off. He sorted out the hair that hadn’t been under his hat (spelled to keep from flying off) and headed to the front door of the cottage.

James didn’t bother with fixing his own hair, and was still grinning when he knocked.

A moment later an older woman came to the door. “James Potter! Glad to see you,” she said warmly. She opened the door wider, ushering him inside. “And who is this?”

“My best friend, Sirius Black. Did mum tell you about him?” James asked.

“Yes, she mentioned that Fleamont and her had sort of adopted him. Welcome,” she said, although she eyed Sirius’s muggle clothes with perplexity and frowned at his heeled boots. “Your mother didn’t mention that you were coming over.”

“Sorry about that. I should have sent an owl,” James said.

“Don’t worry about it. Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked.

“Yes, please,” James said.

“What about you?” Bathilda asked Sirius.

“Yes, thank you,” he said.

Bathilda went to her kitchen, preparing the tea. She brought the cups back and sat at the dining room table. “Now, what brings you here?” she asked.

“Well, my grandfather, Henry Potter-”

“Oh, I adore Harry,” Bathilda interjected.

“-well, he’s not doing well,” James said.

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” she said, sounding genuinely upset.

“I asked him about a cauldron that he had, since I would very much like to have it, but he couldn’t remember who he gave it to, since his memory is slipping a bit. Mum and Dad didn’t know that he was giving away his things, but I was hoping that you might know who he gave stuff to,” James said.

“Well, let me think,” Bathilda said thoughtfully.

“It would really help us,” Sirius said.

She sipped at her tea, and looked distractedly at Sirius’s boots again. “You know, Professor Dumbledore wears high heeled boots like that sometimes.”

Sirius made a face. “These are muggle ones,” he said. “Nothing like a professor’s boots. They’re much cooler.”

“Hphm,” Bathilda huffed. “You might ought to be careful about wearing them.”

“Why?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“People might get the wrong idea,” she said.

“About what?” James asked, just as baffled as Sirius.

Bathilda leaned forward and spoke a little more lowly. “Albus Dumbledore was a might bit too close to Gellert Grindelwald, you know.”

It took Sirius a moment to catch on to what she was getting at by the statement. “Is he so? Wizards wear boots like this when they like other wizards?” he asked, baffled. He glanced at his heeled boots. He really hadn’t focused on gay wizards so much as he did muggles.

“Too caught up in muggle fashion to know the basics I see,” Bathilda said dryly. “Youthful ignorance. Then again, it could be a generational affectation and no longer popular among wizards that are fond of other wizards.”

“Dumbledore’s too stodgy to wave wands with anyone,” Sirius said incredulously.

James nearly choked on his tea at that. “Anyway, the cauldrons?” he pressed.

“Mmm, well, it’s hard to remember. I know he gave some of his belongings to the Prewetts, the Weasleys, the McKinnons, the Bones, and the Longbottoms. I’m afraid I can’t tell you who received what, but those were the people that he was closest to other than your parents and you,” Bathilda Bagshot told them.

“That’s very helpful. Thank you,” James said. “That gives us somewhere to start, right Sirius?”

“Definitely,” Sirius said with a charming, but false smile towards Bathilda.

“Was there anything else you wanted to know about?” Bathilda asked them.

“No, that’s really it,” James said brightly. “Thank you so much.”

“Thank you both for stopping by,” she said cheerily.

________________________________________

James Potter stood in a somber black robe in Godric’s Hollow cemetery. Euphemia had her hand on his shoulder, keeping him near her. Her other hand was being gripped tightly by Fleamont, who seemed to be using her as a source of strength to keep grounded. Sirius Black stood next to James, dressed in the same formal robe as him.

There were dozens of people at the burial portion of the funeral, although James wasn’t focused on anyone there- at least no one that was living.

Henry Potter’s tomb was lowered into the earth, and the words of notable friends washed over James without being absorbed. He shook hands with people that he wasn’t fully paying attention to as they spoke to Fleamont and Euphemia, paying their respects to the family.

He stood quietly for some time, even after the burial was complete.

It took his father speaking to shake him out of the anguish that he felt.

“Ready to go?” Fleamont asked quietly.

James glanced up and nodded, feeling numb.

“Let’s go home,” Euphemia said quietly.

They went home by the Floo network (stopping in very briefly at Bathilda Bagshot’s home to use her fireplace) and ended up in the hushed silence of the Potter home.

“We have dinner that was sent over by owl if you’re hungry,” Euphemia said softly. They would have meals for the next few days from family friends.

“I’m not hungry,” James mumbled.

“If you need to talk-”

“I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Tired,” James told her, heading up to his room.

Fleamont wrapped his arms tightly around Euphemia, and Sirius was unnerved by the sight of him crying.

He headed quietly upstairs to join James, stepping into his room.

James had folded in on himself, curled up on the armchair. He was staring out into space, eyes unfocused behind his glasses.

Sirius sat down next to him quietly, glancing over at him before just sitting with him.

A small sob escaped the other boy.

When Sirius looked over at James again, he was curled up even more, legs drawn up to his chest, and had his face hidden against his knees.

It was heart wrenching seeing his best friend cry and not being able to do much to help him. Sirius reached over and lightly placed a hand on James’s back, just resting it there while James sobbed. He cried hard enough and brokenly enough that Sirius was concerned about him choking on tears and saliva- and his body did wrack with coughs between bouts of sobbing.

“He’s gone,” James said when some of the sobbing eased, before starting up again.

Sirius stood and wrapped his arms around James tightly. He was shocked when James’s arms went tightly around his waist, gripping him as he sobbed.

He just held him like that for a long moment, letting James cry.

“D’you want me to nick you some whiskey from the village?” Sirius asked him.

James shook his head and stood. He walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out a book- a copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard, only this one was far more tattered and looked as if the binding were reinforced for very young children. It occured to Sirius that this copy of the book, not the one that James’s grandfather had given recently, held the most sentimental value- read to James time and time again in childhood by a very patient doting grandfather.

The curled up and closed off position with crossed arms and head ducked down that James took on the bed indicated to Sirius that he needed to be alone with his thoughts and have the privacy to grieve.

“Night James,” Sirius said quietly, heading towards the door.

“Night.”

He shut the door quietly behind him as he left.   
_______________________________________

The Potter household was a somber one for the next few days, although life continued on, with everyone going through their usual routines. Both James and Fleamont were particularly quiet, although Euphemia managed to keep their spirits uplifted and a little levity around the house rather than allowing them to fall completely into despair.

Sirius almost felt like a bit of an outsider over those days. He wasn’t related to Harry Potter, and had only met him the one time. Estrangement from his own parents was bizarre, because even with Fleamont and Euphemia being incredibly welcoming, there were times that he didn’t feel as if he had a home at all.

“Want to go visit Remus or Peter?” Sirius asked.

James looked up from his armchair where he was reading over a _Transfiguration Today_ article (having picked up the habit from his mother). “Not today,” he said.

“What about flying? Or going on the motorbike?” he asked.

James shook his head. “I don’t really want to right now.”

“We could go visit some of the families that Bathilda Bagshot mentioned,” Sirius suggested.

James made a face at that. “Too soon- my grandfather just passed.”

“Sorry,” Sirius said, feeling guilty for his insensitivity. He just wanted to distract James since that usually helped himself. “What about spying? We could try to figure out what is going on with Voldemort. There are loads of his lot that we could find out more about.”

“That’s really dangerous,” James said. “Frank Longbottom’s dad just mysteriously disappeared not long ago because he was involved in trying to work against Death Eaters.”

“Well, we don’t have to do that then. I just want to do something-“

“Sirius, I don’t care if you’re bored. My grandfather is dead. Shove off!” James snapped.

Sirius went quiet after that. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Sorry,” James mumbled back. He didn’t want to have a row with Sirius and knew that he was trying to help- distraction always helped Sirius the most.

James was dwelling on it rather than using his reading as a distraction. He feigned his reading, not at all as focused as he normally was.

After a few minutes of watching James rereading the same passage, Sirius shifted into his animagus form.

He padded over to James and rested his head in his lap, over top of the article, making a quiet ‘woof’ noise.

A hint of a smile crossed James’s lips. He petted the large black dog gently.

Sirius moved away from the touch (it was all too easy for others to forget that he was still the same wizard in this form and treat him as a dog) and trotted across the room. He grabbed the snitch that James kept in his room between his teeth.

“Hey! You give that back!” James called, laughing.

Sirius wagged his tail and pranced across the room with it.

“Hey!” James said, standing up. “You’re going to lose it.”

Sirius crawled under the bed to get away from James.

“Get out from under there, you arse,” James said, although he was still grinning.

Sirius jumped up onto the bed then.

James grabbed him, holding him down and trying to wrest the snitch from his tightly clamped jaws.

It was only Sirius’s sense of smell and doglike hearing that enabled him to transform back a split second before Euphemia Potter stepped inside.

She took a look at her son pinning Sirius down on the bed, with the snitch and some of James’s fingers still wedged in Sirius’s mouth.

He spat out the snitch which promptly flew out the window.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Euphemia said, amusement crossing her face.

“You lost _my_ snitch!” James said in mock outrage, pinning him down again and laughing.

“Get a new one then!” Sirius said.

Euphemia rolled her eyes and left them alone.

“We might be able to find it if we go flying. Let me up!” Sirius said, grinning.

“Fine,” James said, getting up off of him a little more slowly than he should have. Both of their faces were flushed from the laughter, exertion of wrestling, and perhaps something else entirely.

Sirius tried to ignore the sense of aching yearning that he felt for James, reminding himself that they’d been best friends for ages. Even if he wanted to be much closer to him, it just wasn’t possible- James _couldn’t_ be interested.

“Let’s hurry before it can get too far away,” Sirius told him.

They raced downstairs and outside to search for James’s snitch.

Even though they spent most of the day on broomsticks searching for the glint of gold streaming through the sky, neither of them managed to find it. However, the snitch did provide a much needed distraction until dinner time and James seemed more cheerful.

That evening after dinner they headed back outside under the pretense of still looking for the snitch (‘ _you know we’ll buy you a new one’_ his mother had protested) to get out of the house for a while. The sun was setting and there was more warmth coming from the ground than the sky.

James cast a charm to keep the night’s bugs away from them and they settled just outside the barn where they brooms were stored, sitting on the still warm ground and leaning against the even warmer dry stone.

“Thanks for losing my snitch,” James said.

“Hey! I didn’t do it on purpose,” Sirius said.

“No, I mean it,” James said. He slung an arm around Sirius. “It was good to get out of the house for a bit.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asked.

James nodded. He dropped his arm around Sirius’s waist rather than leaving it slung around his shoulders. Sirius couldn’t exactly remember if James had ever had his arm around his waist before- they were all elbows and arms slung around each other in corridors at Hogwarts or even here. It was nice that it hadn’t changed since Sirius had admitted to liking blokes.

On the other hand, an arm around his waist certainly felt a bit more intimate than he remembered them ever being. He should have remembered an arm looped around his waist rather than slung more carelessly around his shoulders.

The more Sirius thought about it, the more he intimate it seemed. Friends generally didn’t loop their arms about the waist- it was more intimate. Then again, they were _very_ close friends.

“Prongs?”

“Yeah?” James asked, looking over at him curiously.

Sirius opened and closed his mouth. “We’d both make lousy seekers,” he said lamely. He couldn’t ask James about the closeness, no matter how much he wanted to know.

“Hey! I played as a seeker once in third year when ours was out sick, remember?” James said. “I caught it, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Sirius said with a laugh. He leaned against James’s shoulder and slid his arm around his waist.

“The breeze is a bit cold isn’t it?” James said, tightening his hold on him.

“A bit, yeah,” Sirius agreed, even though it was perfectly pleasant out.

James was quiet for a moment. He looked pensive, staring out at the setting sun that was slowly edging behind the trees. He glanced over and saw Sirius looking at him and smiled. “I do feel better,” he said. “Maybe we can go looking for the Hopping Pot again.”

“Tomorrow?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, seems like a good day to do it,” James said.

“Where do you want to try first?” Sirius asked. He tried unsuccessfully to ignore James’s fingers rubbing over his ribcage through the thin cotton band shirt he wore.

“The Weasleys, I think. That’s a good start,” James said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sirius said. He stood quickly when James’s hand drifted just a little lower. “That tickles. Want to go in and play gobstones?” He offered his hand to James.

“Might as well. It’s getting a bit chilly out,” James said, taking his hand for leverage getting up. Neither of them quite met each other’s eyes. James squeezed his hand once before letting go.

They headed back inside, Sirius following behind James and completely unable to sort out any of what had happened between them or if anything had changed at all.

______________________________________________________

James and Sirius pulled up to the Weasley house on the motorbike. Sirius parked just outside and Arthur Weasley stepped out.

“What is that? A motor scooter? I’ve heard about those- you should not have one of those at all, and to make it _fly_?” Arthur said. “It’s just astounding!”

“It’s a motorbike. Going to report me to the Ministry for having it?” Sirius asked with a cheeky grin.

“Good heavens- no. Definitely not. How did you make it fly?” Arthur asked.

“Mostly James’s -James Potter here- work. He’s excellent with brooms. I did a lot of the charm work though. Are you interested in details? We can tell you if you like- especially if you do us a favor,” Sirius said.

“Of course. Come in, come in,” Arthur said brightly. “What was your name again?”

“Sirius Black.”

James and Sirius went inside, sitting down at the kitchen table.

Bill Weasley ran through the kitchen at that moment. “I’m a dragon!” he screeched.

“No I am the dragon!” Charlie yelled, running with them through the house.

“Come back this instant! Arthur, could you-“ Molly said.

“I’m very sorry. I would help, but I have company,” he said.

Molly sighed and followed after her children.

“Do you happen to know if you have any cauldrons from my grandfather?” James asked.

“Henry Potter? I’m afraid not. We did get some nice muggle silverware and a few cabinets, but not cauldrons,” Arthur said.

“What about your wife? Molly? She’s from the Prewett family, right?” Sirius asked.

“She is. I’ll go watch the kids so that you can ask her. You’ll tell me about the motor scooter afterwards?”

“Motorbike,” Sirius corrected. “And we will.”

When Molly came back into the room several moments later, with Arthur watching the children, she looked tired, but happy.

“Hi Molly,” James said brightly.

“Hello again. How have you and your parents been holding up?” Molly asked.

“We’re doing well. Dad’s been a bit… well it’s understandable given the circumstances,” James said with a shrug.

“Of course. Arthur said that you wanted to ask me something?” she asked.

“Do you know if the Prewetts received any cauldrons from my grandfather? I’m looking for one in particular that he mentioned, but he never could remember who he gave his cauldrons to,” James said.

Molly looked thoughtful. “Just one. It was a nice new pewter one with a thick bottom. Would you like to see it?” she asked.

“This one would be very old, but I will take a look at it if you don’t mind,” James said.

“Of course,” Molly said, leading them over to a very shiny pewter cauldron that had been made in recent years.

James touched it lightly and inspected it. He shook his head. “Definitely not this one,” he said with a frown. “Are you sure that there weren’t any others?”

“I’m fairly certain,” Molly said apologetically.

“It was worth a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“You could also ask my brothers, Fabian and Gideon. They might know if there were others. They received the rest of what my parents passed along,” Molly told them.

“We’ll do that. Thank you,” James said.

“Was that all you wanted to ask?” Molly asked them.

James nodded.

“I hope that you find your grandfather’s cauldron. It seems very important to you. I hope that you can get it back,” she said.

“Thanks,” James said.

“I’ll go get Arthur so that you can explain how that contraption of yours works,” Molly said.

“Thanks Mrs. Weasley,” Sirius said brightly.

Arthur stepped back into the room and sat down at the table, looking as if he might burst from excitement. “First tell me about your muggle clothes,” he said brightly, eyeing James’s and Sirius’s vastly different muggle attire with curiosity.   
_________________________________________

Sirius immediately recognized Regulus’s perfectly orderly writing on the letter that came that morning with the owl post.

He considered not opening it, but James leaned over, resting his head on his shoulder. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Letter from my brother,” Sirius said, frowning. He opened it and read aloud.

_“Dear Sirius,_

_How is your summer so far?_

_I’m sure that mother has written to you. She was shocked and hurt by your departure. I realize that you must be upset with her for removing you from the family tree tapestry, but I assure you that she would gladly add you back in if you asked. She misses you terribly and has been despondent._

_Have you finished throwing your temper tantrum yet?_

_Please stop being childish and write our mother. You have hurt her deeply._

_R.A.B.”_

James wrinkled his nose. “I never did like your brother,” he said.

“He can fuck off,” Sirius muttered. “He’s got his head up his arse ever since he became the favourite.”

Euphemia glanced over at him across the breakfast table, but didn’t chastise him over the inappropriate language.

“Are you going to write Regulus back?” James asked.

“No, he’s choosing her side over mine like always. I can’t talk to him. It’s just going to mean having to talk to her again too. I can’t deal with them anymore,” Sirius said. Even if he had wanted to try to persuade Regulus to stay away from everyone involved with the Death Eaters, it hadn’t worked so far. He also wasn’t willing to deal with his mother again after leaving.

“And you don’t have to,” Euphemia said lightly. “You’re like our son now, so there’s no reason to talk to her if you don’t want to. Your home is here. You’re welcome to talk to them if you’d like, but if you don’t, then we understand.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Want to send him dungbombs instead?” James asked.

Sirius’s eyes lit up. “Yes! We’ll spell them to explode as soon as he opens it!” He was out of his chair only a split second before James was, both of them making a dash to go buy some from Hogsmeade, breakfast left forgotten on the table.

Euphemia sighed, and cleaned up the food so that they could have leftovers later.

  
_________________________________________   
  
Sirius was listening to his Queen record in James’s room, playing it loudly enough that James couldn’t focus on his _Transfiguration Today_ article that he was reading.

“Can you turn that off?” James asked, from where he was sitting on the bed.

“Nope, sorry. You’re reading, so I need something to keep me occupied,” Sirius told him.

“Then could you at least turn it down?” James asked.

“Nah,” Sirius told him with a grin.

James stood and walked over to the record player. “What sort of charm did you put on it to make it that loud? This is louder than normal record players can go,” James said.

“Not telling!” Sirius said brightly.

James reached to make it stop playing, but Sirius moved faster, waving his wand and hiking James up by his ankles.

“Hey! Put me down!” James said, laughing.

Sirius deposited him several feet away from the record player.

“Turn it off, Padfoot,” James complained.

“Not doing it,” Sirius said.

James ran over to him and tackled him onto the bed. He knocked Sirius’s wand out of his hand and reached for it.

“Get your own wand!” Sirius yelled through laughter as he flipped them over, pinning James to the bed.

James just laughed and pointed the wand at Sirius, lifting him up into the air. He ran over and turned the record player off.

“That’s better,’ James said brightly.

“Let me down!” Sirius said, squirming around and laughing.

“As long as you don’t turn the music back on too loudly. Promise?” James asked.

“I promise,” Sirius said.

As soon as James deposited Sirius back on his feet he started to make a run for the record player.

“Arse! Liar!” James said, laughing. He knocked Sirius over and they both fell back onto the bed.

Sirius grinned and squirmed underneath of him, cheeks a little flushed. “Let me up!” he said.

“Nope. You’re just going to turn the noise back on,” James said.

“You really hate my music?” Sirius asked, still squirming beneath him. Having James on top of him pinning his wrists against the bed was almost more than he could handle. He felt almost overheated with the warmth of James and the heat of the flush across his chest and cheeks that came with both the exertion of the struggle and entirely too much excitement over his best friend. “Let me up!”

“I don’t hate your music. We’re just not going to listen to it right now,” James said.

Sirius licked his lips and tried to inch away, but only succeeded in being more keenly aware of James’s hips against his. If James noticed that he was excited, he at the very least had enough mercy on him to not say anything. “Please let me up?” he asked, trying to wriggle out from under him.

“Are you going to turn the music back on?” James asked.

“No!” Sirius said, laughing and pressing his wrists up against James’s hands to try to get up.

“Liar!” James said with a grin.

“Let me up now or I’m going to lick your face,” Sirius said, knowing he couldn’t do anything else other than try to dislodge him- and he seemed to be pinned in such a way that he just couldn’t manage any success with that. He did try to keep his hips still now though rather than create more friction.

“You’re just going to play your music louder until it shakes the walls again,” James protested, although there was a faint look of curiousity or puzzlement in his eyes and with the quirk of his lips.

“I warned you,” Sirius said, before licking James’s face from the bottom of his chin to the tip of his nose.

“You arse!” James said, laughing, although he did sit up, allowing Sirius to do the same. He wiped the trail of saliva from his face.

“I did warn you,” Sirius said with a grin.

“You did,” he agreed. James tilted his head speculatively. "Could I try kissing you?"

Sirius looked at him, startled. "What?"

James's face reddened, and he awkwardly ducked his head, looking down. "Just to try it—since we're friends. You can say no," he said. "I don't mind if you don’t want to give it a try. I just thought I'd ask."

"Just to try kissing or because I'm a bloke?" Sirius asked curiously.

James shrugged. "Both, I guess," he admitted.

Sirius licked his lips and shifted closer. He certainly wasn’t going to say no to that, not to James, especially when he had never been kissed properly, nevermind by another young man and someone that he cared about very deeply. There were dozens of reasons why this was a terrible idea (most of them revolving around James not being interested in him), but he hadn’t given much thought to the idea that James could be interested before.

He pressed a quick gentle peck to the corner of James's mouth.

"Not different from kissing a girl—or at least I suspect," he said, instantly wishing that he had lingered with the kiss. He lightly touched his own chin that wasn't entirely smooth of hair. "A bit pricklier though."

"Not that prickly," James said, looking at Sirius speculatively. He set his glasses on the night table and rested a hand on Sirius's and leaned in, pressing their lips together.

After a brief pause of surprise, Sirius slid an arm around James, his hand going up to the back of his head to rest in the mess of James's perpetually windswept hair.

The brush of James's tongue over his lips was tentative—curious and almost retreating before Sirius parted his lips to give him entrance.

It was a delicate balance, with both of them both afraid the other would stop and call it off.

For a moment they just stayed kissing open mouthed and awkward, both nervous to take it a step further. It was Sirius that took the plunge and brushed his tongue along James's, deepening the kiss. He was pleasantly surprised to find that James tasted faintly of treacle tart- likely one he had snuck a few bites of earlier that morning.

Kissing was clumsy and awkward at first with far too much teeth, and neither sure whether to yield or explore further, but James managed to find his stride and they settled into a kiss that left both of them breathless.

When James drew back to look at Sirius they were both panting and Sirius's face was flushed lightly across his cheeks. "Well?"

"It's nice. Really nice," Sirius said, voice a bit shaky. He cleared his throat. "Ace. What did you think?"

"I thought it was nice too," James admitted. "Could I erm, try it again?"

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely," he said.

James leaned in once more, this time sliding his arms around Sirius's waist as he kissed him. Sirius gently tugged him down onto the bed so that James was laying partially on top of him. This time was far less clumsy and more eager with less hesitation between the meeting of their lips and tongues.

They snapped apart when they heard James's mother in the hallway, scooting far away from each other on opposite ends of the bed. Sirius nearly fell off of the edge.

Both stared at each other, hearts racing as they heard her footsteps continue down the hallway.

James grinned sheepishly. "Sorry—didn't want mum to catch us."

"I know," Sirius said. He laughed and flopped back on the bed. "That was close. There's no way she wouldn't have suspected."

"We'll be more careful next time," James said.

Sirius grinned and raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Next time? One time kissing me and can't get enough eh?" he teased. It was easier to tease than to contemplate the potential consequences.

James rolled his eyes as he put his glasses back on straight. "You seemed to enjoy it an awful lot yourself," he pointed out.   
  
"That I did. I don't mind being your kissing partner," Sirius said, standing up and stretching. He most definitely liked blokes- and probably James specifically. "I'm going to go wash up before dinner."

"All right," James said. “Padfoot?”

“Hm?” Sirius asked, turning and cocking his head.

“We’re okay, right?” James asked looking up at him with concern.

“Of course we are,” Sirius said. Then he drummed his fingers on the bedpost, suddenly looking a bit more unsure of himself. “Right?”

“If you’re okay then we’re okay,” James told him.

“Good,” Sirius said. He opened his mouth to say something more, but even he wasn’t sure exactly what. _‘Are you attracted to blokes too?’ ‘Are you attracted to me?’ ‘Are we still best friends?’ ‘Will this ruin everything_?’ They were all too much to voice. “Excellent. I need to shower”

“Have fun,” James said with a smirk as he watched him leave the room to take a midday shower. James leaned back and replayed the kiss in his head. 


	6. Chapter 6

Sirius and James pulled up on the motorcycle to Fabian and Gideon Prewett’s cottage after dinner. They disembarked and went up the to the door, James knocking.

“Hello? Ah the young Mr. Potter. And young Sirius Black,” Gideon - or was it Fabian said. “Come in- Molly said you might be around.”

“Thank you, sir,” James said brightly, leading Sirius inside.

“Now, Molly said something about an old cauldron?” he asked them.

“Yes,” James confirmed. “It was my grandfather’s.”

“Gideon? Do we have guests?” Fabian asked, joining them in the sitting area. He looked tired and glanced at his pocket watch as if he were wondering when they were going to be leaving.

“Yeah, James Potter and Sirius Black,” Gideon told his brother.

“As long as they don’t stay too long,” Fabian said peevishly, although he sat down on the sofa. “I didn’t get any sleep last night you know.”

“I know, I know,” Gideon said. He turned to James. “So what is this all about? I doubt that you want just a cauldron due to sentiment- unless you do?”

“My grandfather told me that it might be the one that the Hopping Pot tale from the Tales of Beedle the Bard is based around. There’s another student at our school-

“We think that he’s going to join the Death Eaters,” Sirius interjected.

“-and he’s awful towards muggleborn students. So we thought that we-”

“-would torment him with the Hopping Pot until he learns his lesson,” Sirius finished.

“Er, I was going to say it more, ah- delicately than that, but that about sums it up, yes,” James told them.

Gideon and Fabian exchanged a glance. “Are you planning on fighting against Death Eaters and You-Know-Who once you finish at Hogwarts?” Gideon asked.

“Of course!” Sirius said enthusiastically, cutting James’s reply off before he could get a word out. “We’re already fighting against Snape, Mulciber, and Avery. They’re going to join up with the Death Eaters, you know. Might have already joined.”

“Well, when you’re finished with school, come see us,” Fabian told him. “We’re part of an organization that’s fighting against Death Eaters.”

“It’s top secret of course,” Gideon said. “Albus Dumbledore is involved though- and so are we. The entire world has gone mad and we can take all of the help we can get.”

“That’s brilliant,” Sirius said with a grin. “We’ll join! Won’t we James?”

“Of course,” James said, more level headed about it than Sirius was being. “We’ll be ready as soon as we graduate.”

“Is there anything we can do to help until then?” Sirius asked. He peered over at their coffee table. “Who’s Antonin Dolohov?”

Fabian quickly gathered up the papers. “Never mind about that.”

“I saw Bellatrix’s name on there too. I know my cousin’s already involved with You-Know-Who. Can I help?” Sirius asked them.

Gideon and Fabian looked at each other warily.

“You were disowned by the Black family right?” Gideon asked.

Sirius wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms, looking uncomfortable. “Yes,” he said. “Good riddance.”

“Well… suppose you managed to talk to them again? How easy would it be to convince them to add you back on the Black family tree?” Fabian asked.

“Easy enough if he told his parents what they wanted to hear,” James said.

“And could you convince them that you’re on their side again?” Gideon asked.

Sirius shook his head. “No way! That’s the coward’s way of doing things- playing both sides of a war! That would involve some nasty betrayal to get the other side’s trust. Can’t do it. Not me,” Sirius said firmly. “I’d rather go down fighting boldly for what I believe in with everyone knowing it. It’s dishonorable.”

Fabian and Gideon frowned. “I suppose you’re right. I wouldn’t do it,” Gideon said.

“I couldn’t either,” James agreed.

“Well, there’s not much that can be done. If you keep an eye on the students at Hogwarts that seem too interested in You-Know-Who, we would really appreciate it though,” Fabian said.

“My brother is thinking about joining up with them. He has newspaper clippings about You-Know-Who plastered on his walls. He has signs up on his door to warn me to keep out and some nasty hexes attached to them too, but I have had a look around. He’s into some dark stuff,” Sirius said bitterly.

“We’ll keep an eye on er- what was his name again?” Gideon asked.

“Regulus,” Sirius told him.

“Right,” Fabian said, writing it down. “And you said Snape, Mulciber, and Avery as well?”

“Yes, they’re all involved,” James said.

“Well, we’ll see if we can find that cauldron for you,” Gideon said. “Come on then.”

James and Sirius followed him into a room that was a complete mess. It looked as if the Prewett’s belongings hadn’t been sorted through after their death with Gideon and Fabian too busy with other things to bother with the cleaning process.

“I’m afraid that you’ll have to look through it all… We haven’t done anything with it. I would really appreciate the help if you organize some of it for us,” Gideon said awkwardly.

“That’s fine- we don’t mind,” James said, although Sirius looked a bit sour over the prospect of cleaning up the mess.

“Thank you,” Gideon said brightly. “I’ll erm, let you search then? I need to talk to my brother for a bit.”

“Thank you!” James said, starting to go through boxes.

When Gideon left the room, Sirius crept out behind him, and leaned against the wall, listening in on the brothers.

“Are we doing the right thing?” Gideon asked.

“What do you mean?” Fabian asked tiredly.

“Recruiting teenagers into joining the Order of the Phoenix,” Gideon said solemnly.

“Well, they haven’t joined _yet_. We’re at least waiting until they finish Hogwarts unlike the other side- they’re getting teenagers, basically _children_ really, to join You-Know-Who. Dumbledore’s mentioned asking James Potter to join after school anyway. He’s so gifted with transfiguration.”

“Didn’t seem too keen on Sirius Black though- even though he’s just as talented.”

“Well, that’s because of the Black family name isn’t it?”

“I suppose… He seems all right though. I hope they both join. Dumbledore doesn’t get the final say on new members anyway.”

Sirius walked back to James, disgruntled.

“You don’t look happy,” James remarked, having organized several boxes already.

“I don’t reckon Dumbledore wants me to be a member of their group on account of my family,” Sirius said. “I found out what it’s called though. It’s the Order of the Phoenix.”

“Excellent! I can’t wait to join. We’ll both join. Don’t worry,” James said with a grin. “Now help me look for the cauldron so we can get at Snape.”

Sirius frowned, but did as James requested, going through boxes.

In the end, neither of them found the cauldron that they were looking for- although there were several newer cauldrons that seemed nice enough.

They headed back out into the sitting area. Fabian had fallen asleep in an armchair at some point and Gideon was looking at a map of the Ministry.

“Did you find anything?” Gideon asked, looking a little tired now himself.

“No, but we did organize your stuff a bit better. Thank you for letting us look,” James said.

“You’re welcome. We were serious about the offer to join our organization after you graduate. Just let us know,” Gideon said.

“Thanks! We will,” James said brightly. He looked over at Sirius. “Ready to head home?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said.

James headed outside and waited for Sirius to hop up on the bike before getting on behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his midsection. Sirius couldn’t help his grin at the closeness.

As they were flying home, an unaccounted for smattering of rain drew protests from James.

“I hate flying in the rain,” he grumbled, tucking his face against Sirius’s back to try to stay dry.

“You’re always flying in the rain for Quidditch practice,” Sirius told him.

“That doesn’t mean that I have to like it. Urgh. I’m getting soaked,” James complained.

A clap of lightning was enough to make Sirius reconsider trying to make it home in the storm.

“We’re close to home- do you want to keep going or land for a bit?” Sirius asked.

“We’re safer in the air,” James said reasonably. He was accustomed to dealing with the foul weather during Quidditch games. “Can’t wait to get home though.”

“Home it is, then,” Sirius said, speeding up the bike and racing towards their home.

When they landed it was with a splatter of grass and mud coming up around the bike.

James made a dash for the backdoor.

“Wait for me, you arse!” Sirius shouted through laughter. He turned the engine off and hopped off of his bike, racing behind James.

Mrs. Potter had her lips pursed, but didn’t comment as James cleaned himself (and her floor) off with a spell. Sirius followed suit.

“I’m freezing,” James said.

“I’ll get you both a hot cup of tea. I hope you don’t fall ill. What were you thinking, riding in the rain like that?” she asked, going to get the tea.

“Sorry Mum. I thought that it was better than being stuck out in a muggle village somewhere for the night and having you worry about us,” James said.

“I suppose,” Euphemia said with a sigh. She poured James a cup of tea and then Sirius one as well, handing them over.

“Thanks Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said brightly.

He followed James up the stairs to his room.

“I swear my clothes still feel damp- they always do after a hard rain like that- even _after_ drying them,” James grumbled. He took his shirt off, tossing it on the floor.

Sirius had to remind himself not to stare as he caught sight of James’s long lean torso with taut muscles (finely honed by hours of Quidditch practice). He ended up justifying that he could look at least a little since James didn’t seem to mind kissing him.

He took off his own clothes to change into pyjamas for the night, taking furtive glances at James as he changed. He wasn’t certain and didn’t say anything, but he thought that they both caught each other looking at least once. The glance shared between them was shorter than a second.

Sirius slid onto James’s king size bed rather than the spare twin bed that he often used for sleeping in James’s room. He sipped at his tea again, before placing it back on the bedside table.

James slid into bed next to him, only much closer than he usually did. He slung an arm around Sirius and curled up around him. “S’cold,” he said. He slipped off his glasses and set them on the bedside table.

“Hey, watch my hair!” he complained at the tug of a few strands that had been stuck on James’s glasses already. “ It’s not really cold- it’s just the rain.” Sirius shifted a little so that his back was against fully James’s chest. James brushed his hand over the back of Sirius’s head, flattening some of the longer strands of hair out of the way from tickling his nose.

“Why did it have to be a cold rain? It’s summer,” James said, although it was more to fill the quiet than a real complaint. It was _always_ raining and it was always a cold one.

“You’ve played Quidditch in far worse,” Sirius said. He wasn’t even cold anymore- not with James pressed up against him, hot breath against the back of his neck. He could feel every puff of air exhaled with James’s breathing.

“Still miserable,” James complained.

Sirius was quiet, more focused on the sensation of James against him now. He was keenly aware that he was in James’s room (he could see Quidditch players waving from broomsticks, darting around posters on the wall, trophies for being an excellent chaser adorned his bookshelves amidst the healthy sized personal collection of books, and it even smelt a bit of James) and in James’s arms- whatever that meant for the two of them. It was very _warm_ underneath the blankets and all tucked up against him.

He shifted a little more so that his backside was pressed up against James. He wasn’t sure whether to feel guilty about it or not (and realized belatedly that he should have thought about that _before_ doing it), but it felt _nice_ having James’s hips up against his backside.

He wasn’t sure what their relatively new development of kissing meant for moments like this. Was Sirius allowed to savor moments like these between them? Was he allowed to feel the surge of affection and even ache in his chest from what was love for his best friend? Was he permitted to dwell on the stirring of arousal pooling in his midsection, and the urge to press back against James’s hips?

“Sirius?”

“Hm?”

“Your heart is going really fast. You’re not nervous are you?” James asked, lips barely brushing against the back of his neck.

“Not nervous,” Sirius said quietly, shivering at the barest of touches against his neck.

“Still cold?” James asked, tightening his hold around him, arm wrapped snug around him. He rested his hand on Sirius’s chest.

“Yeah,” Sirius lied all too easily.

James hooked a leg over Sirius’s hip, enveloping him more completely.

Even with his feet poking out beyond James’s and out from underneath the covers, Sirius felt small somehow, completely surrounded by the tangle of James’s limbs. He buried his face partially under the blanket that smelt of an odd combination of James and Euphemia’s jasmine laundry soap. He could hear the rush of his own heart- beating nearly double the beats for every tick of the clock on James’s bedside table.

James’s firm hand rubbed over the soft cotton covering his chest, and it did manage to calm his racing heart- somewhat.

“What are you thinking about?” James asked quietly.

“You,” Sirius told him bluntly.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“What about me?” James asked.

“You feel nice,” Sirius said.

James was quiet for a long pause as the clock ticked on- _tick, tick, tick, tick, tick_. “So do you,” he whispered.

Sirius smiled, letting out a small puff of air in laugh that was more breath than sound. “Tickles the back of my neck when you whisper,” he said.

“Mmm,” James hummed. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the back of Sirius’s neck almost shyly.

The lingering wetness and heat drew more ragged breaths from Sirius.

Well, if James was going to play it that way, Sirius couldn’t feel _too_ guilty about wanting more from his best friend.

He rolled over and faced James who was smiling at him and looking very odd without his glasses on- it was something that Sirius was certain he would never get used to in spite of James only acquiring them a couple years ago.

“Fancy a goodnight kiss?” Sirius asked, tone teasing but hopeful.

James laughed and pressed their lips together gently. His lips were chapped from their cold windy rainy ride, but the kiss was still soft and tender in spite of the rougher skin. He slid a hand up to the base of James’s neck, fingers brushing through messy hair.

They kept the kiss light this time, all lips and tender presses of their mouths, only pulling away for a short reprieve when they’d had too much of each other’s air and the warmth between them was too much. Sirius almost wished that it had always been like this- both of them closer than close and only further apart when breathing fresh air became too pressing to ignore. In a way, they almost were like that even before- entirely too close at times, only sometimes pushing away- it’s just that before they weren’t kissing each other amidst their pranks, schoolwork, and Quidditch practice.

It felt like love- or at least what he imagined love to feel like.

He had managed to calm from his earlier excitement- whether James just felt affection alone, curiosity, or couldn’t feel the same excitement that Sirius felt grip him when they were this close was something he would have to think on later, but James’s gentleness and tenderness was enough to relax Sirius’s earlier need (or at the very least, ignore it).

James pressed a few more soft kisses to Sirius’s lips before pulling back again for air, smiling at him with kiss reddened lips. He looked _happy_. His hair was sticking up worse than usual as it dried and Sirius couldn’t help but find it charmingly amusing.

“Warmed up now?” James asked.

Sirius laughed and nodded. He might not have idealized James the way Peter did, or even the way James did Lily, but his mind was still boggling at the fact that he was able to just kiss _James Potter_ like this.

James reached over and turned off the lights. He curled up around Sirius again.

It took Sirius a long time (and several firm mental reminders that they had only agreed to kissing- nothing more) to get to sleep with James wrapped around him. When he did relax enough to doze off though, it was a comfortable peaceful sleep in James’s arms.   
______________________________

“How are we going to get to the Bones family to see if they might have the Hopping Pot?” Sirius asked after breakfast.

“I dunno,” James admitted. “That’s hard, because Edgar’s mother was just killed- Death Eaters or You-Know-Who got her.”

“I know,” Sirius said quietly.

“We can’t exactly bother them while they’re mourning,” James said, his own pain of his grandfather’s passing fresh in his mind.

“I know,” Sirius repeated, this time with a sigh. “I don’t imagine the deaths are going to stop any time soon.”

“It’s scary,” James said quietly.

“It’s all the more important to fight,” Sirius said.

“We will,” James said decisively. “We should ask Remus and Peter about it too- they should know about the Order. Remus will come up with a good plan for asking Edgar and Amelia’s parents about the Hopping Pot too.”

“Sounds like a good plan. Do you want to head over to Remus’s? We can have Peter Floo over once we’re there,” Sirius said.

“I suppose- although we’ll have to take the Floo as well. Remus’s dad works for the Ministry doesn’t he? Can’t have your bike seen, even if he doesn’t work with muggle stuff,” James said.

Sirius groaned. “Come on! We’ll just ride over in the sky and land before we get there. I’ve learned all about traffic lights! It’s really easy after a bit of reading. I just have to stop for the red ones!”

“If you get us pulled over by the police man again I-”

“I won’t,” Sirius huffed.

“Fine,” James said. “Mum! We’re going to Remus Lupin’s house!”

“Are you taking the Floo or the bike?” Euphemia asked, suddenly stepping into the doorframe at James’s call.

“The bike,” James said.

“You’re really going to fly all of the way to Wales?” Euphemia asked skeptically.

“It won’t take long. It goes really fast,” Sirius said.

Euphemia pursed her lips.

“Please?” Sirius asked.

“What if you get caught in another rainstorm?” she said impatiently.

“Then we’ll Floo home and pick up the bike later,” James said. “Please Mum?”

“Fine, but be back before dinner time,” she told them.

“Thanks Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said with a grin. “C’mon James.”

They ignored her sigh as they darted out the door.

Sirius slung his leg over the motorbike, and started the engine.

James came up to his side and leaned in, pressing a clumsy kiss to his lips.

Sirius kissed back, even though he was startled. “What’s that for?”

“Why not?” James said with a shrug. He kissed him again, this time slipping his tongue through Sirius’s parted lips. He leaned against the motorbike, one arm slung around Sirius’s shoulders for support.

He didn’t protest even with the surprise of being kissed in secret- just under the cover of the barn where all of the Potter’s miscellany was stored. He brushed his tongue along James’s.

When James pulled back, Sirius nipped and nibbled at his lips for good measure, almost holding on to keep them from parting.

James grinned. “I figured we’d get some snogging in since we won’t be able to at Moony’s,” he said.

“Just don’t distract me while I’m driving,” Sirius quipped, mostly because he still couldn’t figure out exactly what they were doing kissing each other or where this was headed. Joking about it seemed to be the best course of action.

“Fine,” James said, hopping on behind him. He wrapped his arms around him snugly, tucking his head against Sirius’s back.

Sirius waited until he was sure that James was settled. He drove around the yard to build up speed, doing a figure eight followed by a wheelie before launching them into the sky.

“This will never get old!” James said.

“You just like being in the air,” Sirius said with a laugh.

“Why would anyone want to be on the ground when you can _fly_?” James asked, sounding blissful.

Sirius glanced back at him. Surprised by the nearly euphoric look on James’s face. He often watched him fly on a broomstick, but never up close and personal like this- always from a distance.

“You love flying,” Sirius stated, glancing back in front of them, before looking back at James again.

“I do!” James said, looking ecstatic still and almost silly with the thrill of it. James always flew so elegantly that it was a little surprising that he still took so much pleasure from being in the air.

He smiled to himself and focused on his driving, sailing through the mists of the clouds and up above them.

They reached Wales far faster than they should have, landing just outside of the village in Glamorgan. Sirius drove more slowly then, even managing to keep the speedometer from going more than a few kilometers an hour faster than the posted signs.

Once they reached Remus’s house, they hopped off the motorbike and went to the front door, knocking.

Hope Lupin opened the door and looked at the two boys quizzically before smiling. “Welcome back,” she said warmly. “Come in. Remus didn’t tell me that he was expecting company. Don’t you normally come through the fireplace?” she asked. She looked very pale, thin, and tired. Remus hadn’t been lying to them entirely when he had said that his mother was sick to cover up for his monthly transformations.

“I learned how to drive a motorcycle!” Sirius said, pointing to the motorbike parked out front.

“Congratulations on your license,” she said brightly.

“My what?” Sirius asked cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“Your driver’s license,” Hope said.

“Oh. That. Right. Thank you,” Sirius said, deciding not to mention that he still hadn’t obtained one.

“Where’s Remus?” James asked.

“In his room. Would you like me to go get him?” Hope asked.

“No, we’ll just head on up,” James said, looping his arm through Sirius’s and heading up the stairs.

“Remus!” Sirius called before James knocked politely at the door.

“Padfoot? Prongs?” Remus said, opening the door. He smiled widely. “You didn’t tell me you were coming to visit.”

“You weren’t busy were you?” James asked.

Remus shook his head. “No. I was just watching the telly,” he said. “There’s nothing that interesting on right now. I’m glad that you’re here.”

“One of us should get Peter too,” James said. “I don’t want to leave him out.”

“You can use our Floo if you like,” Remus said.

“Excellent. I’ll be back with Peter,” James said, heading downstairs.

Sirius bit his lip, watching him go. He hadn’t originally planned on being left alone with Remus. He turned towards him.

“What have you been up to since we last saw you?” Sirius asked.

“Nothing exciting. I’ve been helping Mum out around the house. She’s not doing too well and Dad’s always working,” he said. “What about you?”

“I learned how to drive a motorbike,” Sirius said with a grin. “Come look.” He pointed out the window at it.

“Does it have charms on it to make it safer to ride?” Remus asked, concerned.

“Loads. James and I worked on it,” he said. He chewed his lip, mind wandering to James.

“It’s very cool,” Remus said.

“Thanks,” Sirius said with a grin. He looked at Remus thoughtfully. Remus would give good advice, and prior to the incident with Snape, was the person he was closest to aside from James. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Remus said.

Sirius frowned and shifted a bit. He sat down in one of Remus’s chairs. “How do you know if someone likes you?” he asked.

Remus looked surprised by that and smiled a little. “I thought you were too busy to like girls,” he said teasingly.

“I didn’t exactly mean to start liking someone,” Sirius huffed almost bitterly.

“Sorry,” Remus said, realizing Sirius was touchy about it. “Well, who do you like?”

“It’s a secret,” Sirius said sighing. “Just… how do you know that they like you back?”

“Well,” Remus said. He sat down and crossed his arms. “I don’t really know. I don’t date anyone. I suppose if she wants to spend a lot of time with you. Maybe ask her out on a date?”

Sirius frowned and raked his fingers through his hair. “It’s more complicated than that. I really think I love them, and I can’t tell if s-she likes me at all,” he said, tongue stumbling over the word ‘she.’ He thought that it would be too obvious it was James if he did mention that it wasn’t a girl that he liked, and that was another entire conversation to sort out.

“Hmm,” Remus said, frowning at Sirius. “I really wish I could help. I’m awful at this sort of thing. Does she do anything that seems like she cares about you?”

“She kisses me,” Sirius said, still finding it dizzying that he was supposed to be talking about a girl. 

“Yes, that’s a _very_ subtle hint,” Remus deadpanned.

“It’s all just for fun I think. I don’t think it’s like that. It’s driving me mad because I just want her to like me. I know she likes me as a friend, but that’s not the same and sometimes I like her so much that it hurts,” Sirius said, eyes watering as he felt his chest ache. It was a struggle keeping his words straight and maintain the secrecy. “And I think that she likes someone else and I just- why can’t it be me?”

“Padfoot, I’m really sorry,” Remus said quietly, expression changing to one of concern. He reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder. He always did care and was the kindest out of all of their group. “You seem like you really love her.”

Sirius swallowed and nodded. “I do,” he said. “But she loves this other gi-guy and I want her to be happy, but it still really hurts. I wish that I were good enough- that I made him happy like she does.” He sniffled, shoulders shaking. 

Remus didn’t seem to catch the near slip up in Sirius’s words and just kept patting his shoulder and back awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “Maybe she’ll come around? That’s a bit mean of her to kiss you if she doesn’t mean it. Does she know that you like her?”

“She’d have to, wouldn’t she?” Sirius asked. “I don’t know. Maybe not. I don’t think it’s mean. I just wish it meant more. I don’t think she could ever like me.”

“I wish I had better advice. Have you asked James?” Remus asked.

Sirius looked startled at that, but shook his head. “Nah. Don’t mention it to him either?” he asked.

“I won’t,” Remus promised. “But why? James dated Mary last year. He’ll know more about girls.”

“I just don’t want to tell him about it,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Okay,” Remus said. They all had their secrets. “Well, I think you might be overthinking it. Most girls seem to like you well enough. Maybe she does like you?”

“I doubt it,” Sirius said with a heavy sigh.

James opened the door, striding inside with Peter. “Sorry it took a bit. Peter’s mum didn’t want to let him come over. One of his third cousins or something was captured by Death Eaters. They’re all right now, but his Mum didn’t want him leaving the house,” he said.

“Oh. I’m sorry Peter,” Remus said.

“It’s okay. I don’t really know them,” Peter said, although he did look shaken up and concerned. “Mum was just a bit worried since your dad’s at work during the day and she’s worried about us being with just a muggle in case we did have to defend ourselves.” Peter looked a bit frightened as well, and Sirius had to wonder if James had to drag him here.

“Padfoot, are you alright there?” James asked, concerned.

“We were just talking about his parents,” Remus lied smoothly. “I didn’t mean to upset him.”

“They’re foul,” James said. He sat down next to Sirius, clapping a hand on his back once.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said.

“Right,” James said. “So, Sirius and I wanted to update you on what we’ve learned about the Hopping Pot and something else that’s even more important.”

“What’s that?” Peter asked excitedly.

“Well, there’s nothing that exciting with the Hopping Pot- we’ve narrowed down where it might be a bit better though. It’s just that we need some help with figuring out how to get it. It’s probably at the Bones family house or the Longbottom family. We aren’t sure how to ask them to let us take a look at their things though, since they’ve both just lost family members with the Death Eaters and all,” James said.

“So you don’t want to ask them since it’s inappropriate right now while their mourning,” Remus gathered.

“Exactly,” James said.

“Why not have Peter go as a rat to take a look?” Remus suggested. “He can scope the place out and then one of us can go in with the invisibility cloak.”

“Brilliant! I knew that you would figure out something,” James said brightly.

“That solves that,” Sirius agreed.

“It’s just… how do we know which cauldron is the Hopping Pot? Do we know what it looks like?” Peter asked.

“That does pose a problem,” James said.

“We could do more research to find out more about it,” Remus said.

“Excellent. We’ll sort out research and when we’re going looking for the Hopping Pot later Right now,. I have to tell you about the Order of the Phoenix,” James said dramatically

“The what?” both Remus and Peter asked.

“The Order of the Phoenix,” James and Sirius said in unison, both grinning.

“We’re going to join,” Sirius said.

“And so are you,” James continued.

“It’s a secret society that I overheard Gideon and Fabian Prewett talking about,” Sirius said.

“Although they asked us to come find them after school and join up- they just didn’t tell us the name of it,” James said.

Peter was gaping and hanging on James’s every word.

“It’s a society for fighting the Death Eaters,” Sirius told them.

“Because obviously the Ministry is bollocks at it,” James told them.

“And Dumbledore might be in charge,” Sirius said.

“Are you sure that it’s a good idea?” Remus asked.

“Of course it’s a good idea!” Sirius exclaimed, shocked that Remus would even suggest that it wouldn’t be.

“I just mean that if even the Ministry is having a hard time dealing with Death Eaters and You-Know-Who, what chance does a secret society have?” Remus asked.

“That’s true,” Peter said.

“Dumbledore is in charge of it,” James said. “And we’re all very good wizards. If I’m not fighting as part of the Order, I would be fighting as an auror anyway, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Remus said. “Except the Ministry wouldn’t accept me as an auror because I’m a werewolf-”

“Which is why the Order of the Phoenix is better. It will take the lot of us. None of us left behind,” Sirius said enthusiastically.

“I wouldn’t mind skipping out on having a job with the Ministry as long as I could fight with all of you,” James said. “It really is better. We should be part of the fight. We can’t let You-Know-Who win.”

“We’ll join,” Remus said. “After school.”

“What about you?” James asked Peter who seemed more quiet about it.

“I think it’s a good idea,” he said, although he looked a bit afraid.

“That’s settled. We’ll join the Order of the Phoenix,” James said decisively. “Want to go to Honeydukes to celebrate?”

Peter’s eyes lit up at that. “Of course!”

They all ran down the stairs in unison, going to the Floo. “We’ll be back Mrs. Lupin,” James called.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has smut and is of questionable quality (work has been super busy!).

The protests nearly poured from his own lips the instant that James's were on his, but they died nearly as quickly with the brush of his tongue wordlessly asking for entrance- entrance that James was confident that he would receive. Sirius's lips parted and the protests of ' _not right before bed again_ ' and ' _this could turn into too much far too soon_ ' died away with the feel of James's arms wrapping around him securely. The warmth and odd sort of tenderness in the way James kissed him put him at ease.

His mouth still tasted like the finest Honeydukes chocolate- he must have snuck a few pieces after dinner and brushing his teeth.

A slow movement of James's lips across his jaw and down to his neck quickened his heart rate despite still being at ease with his best friend. The heat of his breath just below his ear and soft presses with gentle yet somewhat clumsy suction (he couldn't bring himself to laugh despite the somewhat undignified attempts and occasional noise- it still felt incredible) was going to keep him from sleeping if James kept it up.

He shifted and rolled them so that he was on top of James, pressing his lips to the skin just below his jaw. He let his lips explore the stubbly skin, breathing in the smell of the minty soap James used and the fresh smell of the outdoors that somehow still managed to linger on him.

Sirius sucked lightly at James's skin, nibbling a little until he heard a soft moan from beneath him.

He sat up enough to look down at James's flushed cheeks and parted mouth.

"We should get some sleep," he said, his own cheeks flushed.

"But-"

"Don't want your mum to overhear," Sirius pointed out. "Maybe when we have more privacy."

"S'alright," James reassured him, scooting away a little to give Sirius some space, although he took Sirius's hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze.

Sirius breathed out in relief. He squeezed James's hand in return.

They were both quiet for a while, each one not sure exactly what to say to put the other at ease again, but each wanting the familiar comfort that came from a friendship as close as theirs.

They hadn’t held hands before- not like this. There was something about holding hands that was almost more meaningful than just kissing, with James thumbing nervously over the back of Sirius’s hand.

"I think it's easier if we do that sort of thing in the daytime," Sirius said finally, breaking the silence between them. "You're really just interested in just the kissing, but I keep thinking about more than that."

"Ah," James said. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I was thinking about more than kissing too."

"Really?" Sirius asked, looking over at him quickly, eyes wide with surprise. He grinned.

"Yeah. I just- I don't think either one of us knows how that sort of stuff works though, and I wouldn't want to hurt you, so we would have to figure a lot of stuff out before we try that sort of thing," James rambled. "So, I think we should wait until we have privacy and can figure out how it works before trying it."

"Me too," Sirius said, although his voice was filled with relief. The relief was short lived though, as he realized that even though it meant that the wouldn't be doing anything more that night, James was _interested_ in doing more together eventually. He still wasn’t even sure what all of this between them meant, if anything. "It, erm, might be awhile before we try anything more."

James squeezed his hand again. "No rush," he said. "It _does_ sound a bit painful on your end."

Sirius chewed his lip. "I really don't think it's going to hurt as badly as you think," he said before he could stop himself.

James looked over at him curiously.

"I've poked around a bit," Sirius said with a shrug, feigning nonchalance.

"Poked around with wha- oh," James said, glancing at their entwined fingers.

"S'not bad," Sirius mumbled, cheeks flushed.

"Then... you're not worried about it hurting?" James asked.  
  
"Well, I do worry about it, but I don't expect that it will be too bad," Sirius said. "I'm just... that's a lot to do with someone all at once. There's other stuff that doesn't seem like so much all at once."

"So, you think about doing other stuff?" James asked with a grin. He sat up in anticipation.

"Yeah," Sirius said with a laugh.

"Like what?" James asked.

Sirius grabbed a pillow and whacked James's side. "Prat. I know what you're up to- go to sleep," he said although he was grinning.

"I just want to know," James protested.

Sirius rolled his eyes and sat up. He straddled James's hips and pressed their lips together roughly. "You're just worked up from the snogging," he said, clearly able to feel the truth of that statement through their pajama bottoms. When James opened his mouth to speak he kissed him again, tongue brushing over his. He kissed him almost hungrily, this kiss filled with more want than the one prior. He purposely took control of the kiss this time, continuously upping the intensity.

When a groan came low from James's throat and his hips started to buck against his, Sirius pulled back and slid to one side off of him. "See? You’re just worked up," he said. "I'm not going to let you do anything you'll regret in the morning."

James stared at him, a bit dazed and perplexed.

"You prefer girls, remember?" Sirius reminded him. He wasn't about to leave James feeling guilty and confused in the morning. "Mostly, anyway."

"Erm- well," James sounded skeptical even through his daze. “Maybe not ‘ _mostly_.’”

Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Still not letting you do anything you’ll regret in the morning.”

“Don’t think I’d regret it,” James said with a grin.

Sirius shook his head. He pressed a kiss to his neck just below his ear. "I'll toss you off before the summer's over though," he whispered, breath almost tickling James’s ear. He knew he shouldn’t be promising that. The words kept spilling out, and he realized that James might not be the only one too worked up to think clearly. "And maybe a bit more if you want." He ran his tongue along the shell of James's ear and sucked at his earlobe before climbing out of bed abruptly.

"More?" James asked, staring wide eyed from his spot on the bed.

"Don't be daft. You know what I just implied," Sirius said. On the off chance that James really was that addled and not just fishing for more stimulation, verbal or otherwise, he placed a curled hand in front of his mouth, open his mouth and mimed the act.

"Night," Sirius said with a grin, heading out of James's bedroom.

"Sirius-"

"Night Prongs," Sirius said, glancing back at his flabbergasted best friend. "I think we both need a bit of privacy, eh?"

"Right," James conceded. "Night Padfoot."   
_____________________________________   
"Oof," James grunted, opening his eyes blearily. He looked up at Sirius, who had pounced on top of him.

"Time for breakfast," Sirius said.

"Morning, you git," James said.

"Good morning to you too," Sirius said, pecking his lips.

James blinked up at him.

"Not regretting last night, are you?" Sirius asked apprehensively.

"No," James said, shaking his head. He hesitated. "I did think about you- last night I mean. Is that all right?"

Sirius grinned. "Flattery!" he said. "I thought about you too. Does that bother you?"

"No," James said quickly, a little concerned that if he did seem hesitant about any of it that this entire new fragile closeness that they'd built between them would come to an end.

"Good," Sirius said. He slid his arms around James and rested his head on his chest.

James slid his arms around Sirius, squeezing gently. "What were you thinking about? Last night I mean? About me?"

Sirius snorted. He would have preferred laying there snuggled in James's arms rather than talking details about fantasies, but he wasn't about to tell James that. The fantasies were nice enough that he wouldn’t mind sharing once he got over the insecurity and worry that James wouldn’t feel the same way about them. "What do you think?" he said.

James's cheeks reddened. "I don't know. That's why I asked."

Sirius frowned. "You might not like the answer," he said.

James raised his eyebrows. "What exactly...?"

"Well, I know you'll like part of the answer, it's just the rest of it..." Sirius mumbled.

"What were you thinking about?" James prodded again, this time a bit gentler as he rubbed over Sirius's back.

"I'll tell you if you tell me first," Sirius told him.

James's face reddened at that. "Erm, well... that's... I suppose it's obvious enough," he said.

"I'd still like to hear it before I tell you," Sirius said.

"Ah... well... I suppose we could have breakfast first before talking about it, right? Wouldn't want mum wondering where we're at," James said, a little embarrassed himself.

"I am hungry," Sirius admitted.   
__________________________________

"Quidditch?" Sirius asked after breakfast.

"Well, I was thinking we could talk a bit," James said awkwardly.

" _Quidditch_ ," Sirius said decisively, heading out the back door.

James frowned and followed behind him.

Sirius ran across the yard and into the little barn where the Potters stored their brooms and other miscellany that they didn't keep in the house.

James followed behind him and stepped inside. "I really wanted to talk about earlier," he said.

"And we're going to do that," Sirius told him, leaning up against the wall and tugging James to him. James nearly lost his footing and lay his hands flat against the wall on either side of Sirius for balance.

Sirius licked his lips. "So, what were you thinking about?" he asked James, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

James cleared his throat, looking at Sirius more intently now. “The stuff that you mentioned last night,” he said.

“Which stuff?” Sirius asked, smirking.

“You know what I mean,” James said, tone pained and frazzled.

“You mean you thought about me tossing you off?” Sirius questioned, looping two of his fingers just inside the top of James’s trousers and skimming the skin just above his y-fronts.

“Yes, that,” James said, face red and tone a bit more strained.

“And me sucking your prick?”

James nodded fervently, gaze dropping to Sirius’s lips.

“I thought about that too,” Sirius admitted. “And your hands.”

“My hands? James asked, perplexed. His gaze flickered up to meet Sirius’s.

“Right there,” he said, sliding James’s hands from the wall down to rest on his backside.

James licked his lips. “I don’t know what to do,” he said nervously, although he didn’t move his hands from Sirius’s backside. “I know how it works with blokes and birds, but not with... I don’t know what to do.”

Sirius looked down to avoid meeting James’s eyes. “I don’t really know either. I only just figured out that I like blokes, remember?”

“But I thought you said that you had thought about it,” James said.

“I have. It doesn’t mean that I know how any of this works,” Sirius mumbled. “This is still new to me too.”

James slid his hands back up and around Sirius’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. “Well, what did you think about last night? We’ll start there and figure it out. It can’t be that hard. We’re good at figuring things out together.” His lips quirked up into a smirk.

Sirius nodded and hugged James tighter.

“So, what did you think about?” James asked.

“Your fingers,” Sirius said quietly.

“On your bum?” James asked, a little uncomfortably.

“In my arse,” Sirius corrected.

“In your arse,” James repeated, and Sirius could feel him staring intently even if he couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Right,” he mumbled.

James chewed his lip. “Are you... you’re sure?” James asked, gaze locked on him. He had a hard time imagining that it would be enjoyable.

Sirius shrugged, afraid of seeming too enthusiastic about it.

“Did you- you liked thinking about it, right?” James pressed.

“Yeah,” Sirius mumbled.

“You don’t look very excited about it right now,” James pointed out.

Sirius looked up, face red. “We could just do you. I could toss you off,” Sirius said. “We can try stuff on me a different time.”

“That’s not really fair,” James said slowly, although he sounded a bit hesitant. Sirius did just offer to get him off. It was very difficult to pass on that kind of offer.

Sirius undid the button on James’s trousers. “It’s fair. I want to do it. I thought about it last night. I thought about your prick. Can I?”

James hesitated again. “That really wouldn’t be fair Padfoot. I could do you too if you aren’t ready to try the other stuff,” he said, resting his hand just under Sirius’s shirt, above his trousers.

Sirius licked his lips, tempted to explain more. He wanted to tell James that he was plenty ready for that sort of thing- he had done it to himself with some regularity since he’d started seriously contemplating liking men. Asking James to do that to him though- it was beyond embarrassing.

“No?” James asked softly, sliding his hand away, looking at his best friend more closely, and backing up just enough that they were barely touching. His brow furrowed. “You’re ashamed,” he whispered.

Sirius went still and silent at that, face stoic in an effort to avoid giving himself away.

  
“Is that it?” James asked.

The awkward silence stretched on for a moment.

James rested his hand on Sirius’s shoulder, and his other resting on his jaw and tilting his head up. “Padfoot, look at me,” he said. “Is that it? You’re ashamed that you want stuff on your- well, _in_ , you?”

Sirius looked into James’s searching hazel eyes. He kept his lips pursed, a splotchy blush creeping across his cheeks and neck from mortification. James was always more confident than he was and Sirius resisted the urge to knock him down a peg by making a joke about it. James was trying to reassure him. It was almost painful to be struggling to talk to James of all people- they shared everything- about this. The words were still not quite coming.

Something in his expression must have changed with the hopeless desperation that he felt looking for words, because James wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“I just want to be normal,” Sirius mumbled, holding onto James tighter. He didn’t know what else to do.

“You are normal, you berk,” James told him. “I’m pretty sure that blokes that like other blokes tend to er, do that sort of thing. That’s part of it right? You can’t help what you like. I don’t mind trying it.”

  
“It’s just I- I do want your fingers up my arse- and I like wearing nail polish and even lippy sometimes... and I really want to be looked at the way you look at Lily,” Sirius said, discreetly hiding his face against James’s shoulder as if he were leaning into him, not just hiding his rapidly clouding eyes. “S’not normal.”

James swallowed hard enough that Sirius felt his Adam’s apple bob against his shoulder. “It’s all right, Sirius,” he told him. He hugged him tighter, swaying with him in his arms. He rubbed over his back.

Sirius clung to James, shoulders shaking from the effort to hold back tears.

“Padfoot? You know I… I do look at you like that,” James told him quietly.

Sirius looked up at him, still watery eyed.

James wiped at Sirius’s cheeks gently. “You’re my best friend, Sirius,” he told him. “And I love you.”

“Prongs…”

“I mean it. We’re best friends. And if we’re more than that…” James trailed off. He very lightly kissed Sirius’s lips before pulling back to look at him. “I- I have looked at you that way. I do look at you the way I used to look at Lily. And I like the way you look.”

Sirius hugged James tightly. “I love you too,” he told him. “You like girls though.”

“I used to like Lily,” James said. “And I like you now.”

“The same way you like girls?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I-I think so,” James admitted. His cheeks reddened. “I’m pretty sure. I didn’t think about it before you said you liked blokes, but I started thinking about it after that- a lot. I like kissing you. I hadn’t given it much thought before. At first I thought we might just be kissing for the fun of it, and I figured that we’re close enough that tossing each other off wouldn’t really be a big deal either. I do think about you the way that I thought about Lily though, so it’s not just for the fun of it.”

  
“I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had or ever will have. I don’t want this to ruin us,” Sirius said.

James pressed their lips together, arms wrapped around him loosely. “I really like you, Padfoot,” he told him. “We’re not going to ruin our friendship. I want this with you. I really like you a lot.”

“I like you too, Prongs,” Sirius told him with a lopsided smirk.

James kissed him softly, lips lingering for a moment. He pulled back and cleared his throat, awkwardly stuffing his hands in his pockets. “We could do all of this properly you know.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, puzzled.

“I mean that I could take you out on a proper date- not at Madam Puddifoot’s the way girls like, but somewhere,” James said.

“A date?” Sirius asked, incredulously. He could easily picture them getting carried away as they almost had the night prior, just getting each other off, but here in the daytime- both of them with clear heads- a date and something less frantic than secretly getting off together sounded much better. James was making an effort to treat this seriously, and it meant something.

James rubbed at his neck. “I mean if you would like to go with me– on one. I– would you? Want to go on a date with me, I mean?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah! Yes. I’d like that. A lot,” Sirius said. He took hold of one of James’s hands. “Where would we go?”

James hesitated, thinking on it.

“Privacy is going to be hard,” Sirius said quietly.

“That’s what I was thinking,” James admitted. “I’ll figure out something.”

“I can help,” Sirius offered.

James shook his head. “No, you’re the... er-“

Sirius smirked. “Not a girl,” he reminded him firmly. He needed James to remember that.

“Right. You’re still the one that’s...” he trailed off, lightly brushing a thumb over the mussed lipstick on Sirius’s lip. The words jumbling around in his head for Sirius were all wrong and couldn’t be voiced. Sirius wasn’t really any of those things and he hated the thought of the words being used for him. He didn’t know any proper words for what they were. “You’re a bit softer than me. I want to do it right- a proper date.”

“I’m not soft,” Sirius said, although the denial didn’t hold much weight and his cheeks were flushed. He traced his fingers over James’s hand affectionately.

“I know that you’re not- not really anyway. I just remember what you said about wanting to be treated like you’re special. That and you’re not quite...”

“Normal,” Sirius finished, causing James to scrunch up his face in displeasure.

“I like your lipstick and nail polish when you wear it,” James reiterated, as if that explained everything, and could somehow make Sirius feel less insecure. “And I like it when you don’t wear it too. And I like that you are, or act anyway, just a bit softer when it’s just you and me alone like this- even though you’re not really soft. It’s special.”

Sirius slid his arms around James’s waist, smiling against his shoulder.

James kissed Sirius’s neck softly, embracing him tightly. “Let’s go flying for a bit- don’t want mum wondering where we are.”

—————————  
“We’re going over to Bathilda’s for tea. We’ll be back shortly. Stay out of trouble,” Euphemia told them, getting out the Floo powder.

“We will,” James promised.

“Your tea kettle will be silent when you get back,” Sirius assured her.

“It better be,” Euphemia teased.

“We might go to the summer house,” James said offhandedly.

Sirius looked at James, surprised as he hadn’t mentioned anything about going.

“Oh? Have fun,” Euphemia said. “Just leave us a note if you decide to go.”

“We’ll be back,” Fleamont said.

Once both of his parents disappeared into the flames, James looked over at Sirius.

“Go get dressed,” he said. “We’re going to have tea.”

“With who?” Sirius asked.

“No one- just us. It’s a date. It’s not one out in public though. I hope you don’t mind that,” James said.

Sirius shook his head. “That’s fine,” he said. “I’ll go get ready.”

James grinned. “Good- take your time.”

“Come grab me when you’re ready,” Sirius told him.

“I will.”

Sirius headed up the stairs to his room. He undressed and began an arduous process of hair removal, making sure that his face and neck were entirely smooth. He hesitated before going to the loo and washing up very meticulously- even inside with soapy water and his fingers - just in case

He grabbed out a blouse that he had picked from a muggle store and a pair of his tighter jeans, hopping around and ending up laying on the bed to get the button done. He had to forego his boxers just to get them up. He went to the mirror and swiped mascara over his eyelashes, and lining his eyelids with khol.

There was a polite knock at the door.

“Just a minute,” Sirius called. He looked in the mirror again, hesitating over the lipstick. James seemed to see him the same way either way- and had admitted to liking him. He smiled and left the lipstick on his bedside table. He stuffed a small vial of lotion in his pocket- also just in case.

He ran his comb roughly through his hair before heading to his door, opening it.

James stared at his for a second before holding out some flowers that Sirius was positive came from Euphemia’s garden. “You look... you look really nice,” James said.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, taking the flowers. He held them awkwardly, appreciating the more romantic gesture, but was entirely unsure what to do with them.

“That’s erm, a nice top,” James said, reaching out and lightly running his fingers over the sleeve of the blouse and Sirius’s forearm. He couldn’t tell whether it had come from the men’s department of a muggle shop or the women’s.

“Thanks,” Sirius said. He set the flowers down on the bookcase.

“Here,” James said, conjuring a vase. “Aguamenti.” He put the flowers in it.

“That’s better,” Sirius said.

“That will keep them from damaging the wood on Mum’s bookcase too,” he said.

“Thanks,” Sirius said again, shifting nervously. Lily Evans would have known what to do with flowers. He tried not to think about that, or whether James would’ve been happier taking her out. “You know, I haven’t been on a proper date before.”

James took one of Sirius’s hands. “Don’t worry- you have the easy part,” he told him.

“You’ve been on dates with girls before though. I haven’t. I don’t want to mess anything up,” Sirius said, voice coming across far more insecure than he wanted it to sound.

“It’s all right. Don’t worry about it. I just hope that you like it,” James said. He tugged at Sirius’s hand. “Come on.”

Sirius followed him down the stairs and to the Floo.

“Potter summer house,” James said, stepping into the flames.

He followed behind him, echoing the same words.

The small cottage was nicely decorated in a coastal theme spite of its scale, looking decidedly cozy. Sirius glanced around the living room, stepping inside. The walls were all stone, but the white paint brightened the room considerably. It was a little stuffy inside, the humidity and summer heat creeping indoors, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

“This is really nice,” Sirius said. He sometimes forgot how wealthy James’s parents were, especially since their wealth was newer than his own family’s.

“It’s very private too,” James said. “I thought it was a nice place for a date.”

“It is,” Sirius said. “Where are we exactly?”

“Tinworth,” James said. “It’s in Cornwall.”

“Oh nice,” Sirius said. “Don’t the Prewetts spend holiday here as well?”

“I think so,” James said. “My parents have a really private bit of land though. I thought we could have a picnic out on the beach.”

Sirius grinned. “You managed to pack a picnic in the time it took for me to get ready?” he asked.

“Well, mostly. The sandwiches aren’t put together yet, but I’ve got everything we need,” James said, lifting up a picnic basket that he had brought over before Sirius had finished dressing. He shrugged. “I tried.”

“Good effort,” Sirius said. He toed off his shoes at the front door, not wanting to bother with the sand that would inevitably get in them. James did the same and they headed out into the warmth of the sun.

“Where would you like to picnic?” James asked, carrying both the picnic basket and a blanket.

“Near the water, I think,” Sirius said, walking a bit quicker over the overly warm sand towards the water.

“Here?” James asked. It was a nice spot on the beach, close enough to enjoy watching the waves, but far enough from the cliffs to be unconcerned about falling rocks. Seagulls flew overhead, and they could just hear the crash of the waves against the rocks.

“That’s nice,” Sirius said. “How about a sunshade to keep the sun off of us?”

“Oh, right,” James said. He spread out the blanket and transfigured a large rock elegantly into an parasol, sticking it in the sand for shade. “It’s not that hot out. You wouldn’t be bothered with the sun if you hadn’t worn jeans.”

Sirius shrugged. “These jeans make my arse look nice, or at least I think so,” he said, aiming for nonchalance and failing.

“They do,” James said, glancing over at him before opening the picnic basket.

“You can look, you know,” Sirius said.

James laughed and looked up at him. “I do look,” he said. “You look nice.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, sitting down close to him on the blanket. “Not ridiculous or completely mad?”

“You know that you look nice Sirius. You have girls ogling you at school all of the time,” James said, getting out the sandwich bread and beginning to construct prawn and mayonnaise sandwiches for them.

“I don’t like girls,” Sirius said. He peered into the basket. “I just want to know that you think I look nice. Oh you brought chocolate frogs!”

“You do look nice. You look handsome in a pretty sort of way,” James mumbled, spreading the mayonnaise on the bread.

“Prongs, did you just call me pretty?” Sirius teased, although his cheeks were flushed.

“Handsome. I said that you were handsome in a pretty way- very attractive,” James said.

“Thanks,” Sirius said. He picked up a bottle of butterbeer. “When did you get this?”

“While you were wanking,” James said.

“Git,” Sirius said.

“No! That’s really when I went to buy it,” James said with a grin.

Sirius barked out a red faced laugh and opened the bottle taking a swig of the butterbeer.

“Here,” James said, offering him two sandwiches and starting to eat his own. He slung an arm around Sirius’s waist, and Sirius leaned into his touch. It still felt far more intimate than an arm slung around a shoulder like friends did with each other all of the time. The weight of James’s hand at his hip and way he held him closer than they normally were with each other was a relief.

“S’good,” Sirius said around a bite of the sandwich.

“I thought it would be nice. I’m still dreadful at cooking and it’s nice having something light like this for a beach day,” he said.

“It’s really nice Prongs. This is incredible. We’ll have to come back here during the school year,” Sirius said, taking another mouthful of the sandwich.

“We can’t-” James started but then he stopped short. “We could, couldn’t we? Sneak out in our animagus forms- except neither of us can apparate. I’m sure we could find a Floo to use though.”

“We can go anywhere,” Sirius said with a grin.

“We could- as long as we don’t leave Remus and Peter out too often. I don’t want them to feel left out,” James said. He finished off his first sandwich and started on a second.

“Of course,” Sirius agreed.

They were quiet for a moment while they ate, Sirius grabbing his second sandwich as well. He stayed leaned against James even though the heat made them both a bit sticky and listened to the sound of the waves.

When Sirius finished off his second sandwich he reached for the chocolate frogs, ignoring the card that came with it entirely and popping it into his mouth before it could hop.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?” Sirius hummed curiously around the chocolate frog, gaze falling on James’s hazel eyes.

“C’mere,” James said, tugging him closer.

Sirius smiled quizzically and shifted, following James’s direction as he pulled him closer. He straddled James’s lap.

“Your hair is even more of a mess than normal,” Sirius said, running his fingers through it in an attempt to smooth out James’s hair mussed from the ocean breeze.

“You like it,” James teased.

“I do. You look good. Really good,” Sirius said.

“I’m just wearing the same stuff I always wear,” James said, glancing down. He hadn’t bothered to dress up the way Sirius had- although he did appreciate the effort. It elevated his attempt at a picnic into something special knowing that Sirius had gone through some effort to look nice for their date.

“I know. You still look good,” Sirius told him.

“Really?” James asked, sounding pleased but almost puzzled by it.

“Yeah. You have nice arms,” Sirius said, running his hands over James’s upper arm muscles. “And you’re just really fit. I like the ridiculous way your hair is always messed up. And I really like your hands.”

James looked down at his Quidditch calloused hands in bafflement. “They’re just hands,” he said. He could understand liking his hair (as he did that on purpose- and he felt a bit triumphant that Sirius did like it messed up after all) and he had noticeably muscular arms.

“They’re very nice,” Sirius said, taking hold of one of his hands and tracing his fingertips over his palm and fingers.

James frowned, just watching Sirius trace them for a moment. The touches were almost featherlight, tracing to the tip of one of his fingers, then back down and to the tip of another. “Is it just because you want them inside you?” James asked quietly. There was something intimate about the way Sirius was touching his palm and fingers.

Sirius felt his cheeks burn at that. “Maybe,” he said, trying to sound cocky but failing.

He must not have failed too badly, since James’s face took on a peculiar look as he gazed up at him, enthralled.

His heart sped up when he felt James rest his hands on his hips, tugging him closer on his lap. He shut his eyes just in time to feel James’s lips press softly against his. He slid his arms around James and ran his hand along his back and neck, fingers brushing along his hairline.

When James tilted him back onto the blanket and rested on top of him, his breath caught. He had enough sense to know that they should go inside about now, but following through with that was impossible with James’s tongue sweeping over his lips begging for entrance.

Lips parted and they both got caught up in the kiss, James nearly overwhelming him. He was breathless when James pulled back enough to nibble at his lip.

“You’re all red and sweaty,” James said.

“It’s hot,” Sirius protested. He couldn’t help it, especially not with James kissing him like that. He thought that they were both just lucky that he didn’t smell yet.

“Here, get your top off,” James said, sitting up enough to tug it up.

Sirius sat up and tossed it aside on the blanket.

James licked his lips and ran his hand over Sirius’s chest, eyes seeming to take in more than he usually allowed himself. “That better?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. He was less overly warm now. He reached out and toyed with the hem of James’s thin cotton shirt. “What about you?”

James smiled and tugged his shirt up over his head, tossing it onto Sirius’s pile. “Better,” he said.

Imitating James’s touch, he ran his hand over James’s lean chest, looking down between them at the bit of hair that started just above his trousers. There was a visible bulge beneath the fabric.

“Would you, erm, like to see?” James asked, following Sirius’s gaze. He fiddled with the button of his trousers.

Sirius jerked his head up to meet James’s eyes. “Er- yeah,” he said. “Can I?” He put his hand on top of James’s.

“Sure,” James said, moving his hand out of the way.

He could feel James’s gaze on him as he undid the button and zip. He tugged down on James’s trousers and y-fronts until he was exposed.

Sirius stared for a moment, very aware that he was looking at his best friend (something he had purposefully avoided doing in their dormitories for many years). “Could I touch you?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Definitely,” James said, voice filled with relief. “You want to?”

Sirius nodded wordlessly. He lightly ran his fingers along James’s already half hard length. He pressed their lips together gently, easing away some of the awkwardness between them with the tenderness.

He kissed lightly down James’s jaw and neck, the taste of salt from sweat on his tongue as he sucked softly at his skin. His fingers skimmed over James’s length lightly, drawing a groan from him. It didn’t take much to get him fully hard.

“Padfoot?” James said softly.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked, pulling back enough to look at him, although he didn’t move his hand away.

James reached up and traced his fingertips over Sirius’s lips, looking at him speculatively. “I keep thinking about what you mentioned,” he said.

Sirius flicked his tongue over James’s fingertips and paused the gentle movements that he was making with his hands. “You won’t think that I’m gross for wanting to suck you off?” he asked.

James shook his head. “Not gross. Definitely not. I want you to,” he said, staring intently at Sirius’s lips.

“I might not be good at it,” he warned.

“I don’t think that anyone could be bad at it- and I don’t think you’d have to do it very long,” James said a little self consciously, face red. He was embarrassed by the prospect of climaxing too soon.

“Just let me know if I do anything wrong or that feels weird,” Sirius said.

“All right,” James said.

“Lay back,” Sirius told him, easing down with him onto the blanket. He pressed kisses down James’s chest, trying to work up the nerve to do more.

He ran his thumb over the tip of James’s cock, toying with his foreskin. He scooted down, settling between James’s legs, lips just centimeters from his cock.

James’s fingers brushing through his hair calmed his nerves. He smiled up at him and James cupped his cheek tenderly, propped up on one arm to watch him.

When James’s shifted a little, the head of his cock brushed Sirius’s lips.

Before he could lose his nerve, he gripped the base of James’s cock how he typically preferred on himself, and drew the head past his lips, sucking softly. He brushed his tongue along the underside of it, positive that his face had to be red.

The groan of pleasure James made was encouraging. Sirius kept running his tongue over the underside and head, suckling at it. He shifted his hips, pressing himself into the blanket and against the ground as he did, hardly able to believe that he had James in his mouth.

“Do it a bit harder,” James told him, hand sliding so that his fingers grasped Sirius’s hair.

Sirius made a noise of agreement around him and sucked harder, taking more of him into his mouth.

He felt a tug at his hair as James tightened his grip. He could tell from the way that James almost moved that he was restraining himself from thrusting into Sirius’s mouth.

His hand worked along the base of James’s cock as he sucked. He must have managed to find a rhythm that James really liked if the moans were any indication. There were a few involuntary thrusts that nearly gagged him, but James still somehow managed restraint.

  
It was heady, the way James almost tugged at his hair before catching himself. He liked being the reason James was panting heavily and making uninhibited moans of bliss.

“Sirius- I’m going to- I’m close,” James warned him.

“Mhm,” Sirius hummed as he reached up to rest a hand on James’s arm, squeezing gently in reassurance, although he didn’t dare look up at him from embarrassment.

After a moment James went still and a salty bitter taste filled Sirius’s mouth. He hesitated a second before swallowing the thick warm release – he always had in his fantasies and it was James.

James lay back on the blanket, eyes shut and smiling. “That was- that was great,” he rambled. “Thanks– is it okay to say thank you afterwards?”

Sirius slid his mouth off of his cock. “You’re welcome,” he told him, smirking.

“You erm– you didn’t spit it out, did you?” James asked, fairly certain that he would have noticed. It was oddly exciting that Sirius was willing to do that for him and it made him feel a bit warm in spite of being completely spent.

Sirius’s face went red at that. “No, I didn’t spit it out,” he admitted, settling at James’s side.

James shifted and slid his arms around Sirius’s shoulders.

“I liked doing it,” Sirius mumbled.

James kissed Sirius softly. “I’m glad.”

“I mean, I really liked doing it. I’m hard,” Sirius said, hoping to spur James into action. He knew that after he got himself off he usually just wanted to have a lie in– and James looked completely content.

“Ah– right, do you want me to erm–“

Sirius nodded quickly.

“What would you like me to do?” James asked gently.

  
“You know what I want,” Sirius said, torn between exasperation and mortification.

“All right. It’s okay, Sirius,” James said. He redid his own trousers and rolled Sirius onto his back.

He pressed their lips together, making Sirius squirm. James seemed to be more leisurely about everything after his own release, kissing him far too tenderly. Sirius was filled with want and need. He craved immediacy.

“James,” he whispered against his lips, a pleading note to his tone.

James chuckled against his lips.

Sirius took action out of irritation then, leaning up to kiss James harder. He gripped at his shoulders, tugging him close.

He finally took the hint and undid Sirius’s trousers, unzipping them. His eyes widened in surprise, either due to the fact he hadn’t worn pants, or just that he was seeing Sirius’s cock up close for the first time- Sirius wasn’t sure which. He could only assume it was the latter when James ran his fingers through the thatch of hair between his legs, just around his length, making him shudder.

“How did you even get these on?” James asked, tugging roughly at his jeans to get them off.

Sirius laughed. “They are tight. They looked nice though right?”

“Your arse looked nice in them,” James confirmed.

Sirius grinned. He helped James tug the jeans off the rest of the way, feeling more vulnerable over being completely bare.

James ran his hands over Sirius’s thighs. He gazed down at him, lips quirked up into a smirk as Sirius squirmed beneath him, breathing shakily.

Sirius gasped when James traced his fingertips between his legs, teasingly running down the length of his cock, and down around his balls. He shuddered when James hiked one of his legs up in the air, running his hand over his backside and squeezing one cheek.

“How exactly... what would you like me to do?” James asked, somehow still managing to look confident in spite of having no idea what he was doing.

Sirius breathed shakily. “You know what I want you to do,” he said, tone edging on frustration. He bit his lip.

“I just don’t want it to hurt,” James said, tracing his fingers between Sirius’s cheeks. It was teasing enough that Sirius couldn’t help the undignified keening noise that spilled from low in his throat.

“Here,” Sirius said, grabbing up his pants and digging through his pockets to find the small vial of lotion that he had brought along. He handed it to James.

“Lotion?” James asked, still grinning at the effect he was having on Sirius.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. He took the vial back and grabbed James’s wrist. Rather than explain verbally, with the lingering shame of it all still nagging him, he coated James’s fingers liberally with the lotion. “There.”

James looked puzzled, but slid his hand back down, rubbing gently along Sirius’s crack.

He practically ached with the need to have James’s fingers in him. Rather than voicing that, he shifted again, spreading his legs and angling his hips a bit. His heart raced at the feeling of James’s slick fingers pressed against his opening.

“And you want them inside?” James asked quietly, only lightly touching his puckered opening until he had confirmation.

Sirius made a soft helpless noise and nodded. He was half afraid that James would change his mind and stop.

James kept his eyes on Sirius as he rubbed gently at his opening, glancing between his eyes and the small pucker that his fingers rested on.

Sirius watched James. He spread his legs a little more and after a few moments of gentle rubbing he reached his own hand down between his legs. He slipped one finger gently inside of himself.

Relief crossed James face. He had been worried about hurting him, but what Sirius was doing definitely wasn’t painful. “Let me,” he said, easing Sirius’ finger out and replacing it with two of his own.

Sirius gasped softly, breathing a bit more shakily at the sensation of James’s fingers inside him. Two at once was a lot for him to deal with at first.

“Does it hurt?” James asked, concerned.

Sirius shook his head quickly. “It’s nice,” he said, although it felt a bit odd– it always did at first even with his own fingers. “I usually start with one and work up to more fingers though.”

“Sorry– are you sure it doesn’t hurt?” James asked worriedly.

“Definitely doesn’t hurt,” Sirius told him. “It feels nice– just takes a minute to get used to having something in there. Deeper?”

  
James eyed Sirius before adding a bit more lotion to his fingers as a precautionary method. He gently pushed them in the rest of the way, the slickness of the lotion helping with the movement.

“That’s really– that’s quite good,” Sirius told him.

“Really?” James asked.

“Yeah. Just uhm– try a bit more towards my front from the inside there?” Sirius said.

James felt around, rubbing gently. He stilled entirely when Sirius gasped.

“Right there,” Sirius told him, pressing to his fingers.

“Here?” James asked, fingers rubbing over the spot again.

Sirius let out a gulped yelp and nodded, his hand going to his own cock. “Keep doing that– exactly like that,” he told him. “And don’t stop.”

“Do you want me to...?” James asked, lightly resting his free hand on top of Sirius’s.

“If you think you can manage both at the same time- I really don’t want you to stop what you’re doing inside,” Sirius told him breathlessly.

“I think that I can manage it,” James told him. He wrapped his fingers around Sirius’s length and started stroking slowly.

Sirius shuddered and shut his eyes, just focused on James’s hand wrapped around him and the rub of his fingers inside of him. He kept pressing his hips to James fingers almost entirely fixated on the spot inside of him and the pressure of James’s rubbing. He couldn’t believe he had James’s fingers buried knuckle deep inside of him.

Then he felt the barest hint of wetness at the tip of his cock. His eyes snapped open to see James tentatively licking at him, more exploratory than with any deliberate technique.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” Sirius warned, the sight of James’s fingers inside of him and mouth at the tip of his cock nearly pushing him over the edge.

James responded by wrapping his lips around the tip and sucking softly.

It took Sirius a few moments longer and a little prodding with a few rocks of his hips to get James to focus more on his prostate before he let out a strangled cry and went limp.

He just lay there for a moment, feeling too overwhelmed and good to move at all. He heard James spit into the sand and almost wanted to complain when his fingers eased out of him. “I want your fingers inside of me all of the time,” he mumbled instead of complaining at the absence. He kept his eyes shut to spare himself from seeing James’s reaction to that.

Lips pressed against his gently and James’s arms wrapped around him tightly. “Don’t think I can have them inside there all of the time. I’ll definitely do it again though,” he murmured against his lips.

Sirius smirked. “I suppose I can let you have use of your fingers some of the time,” he joked, much more at ease again.

“I feel the same about your mouth,” James told him.

“I know– I can feel your stiffy right now. Want me to suck you off again before we head home?” Sirius asked.

“You really would?” James asked, surprised.

Sirius just grinned and undid his trousers again.

___________________________________________________


	8. Chapter 8

James and Sirius were watching muggle television when Euphemia and Fleamont arrived home. They scooted subtly a little further apart, having been cuddled up close on the sofa after a shared shower.

“James, your nose is sunburnt,” Euphemia said, sighing. “You need a potion.”

“It’s not bad. We were under a parasol most of the day,” James said, fingers going self consciously to the reddened bridge of his nose.

Euphemia frowned and then looked over at Sirius. She pursed her lips. “Whatever you did, go put it right. You promised that there would be no talking tea kettles,” she said. 

“I didn’t do anything!” Sirius said, although he looked nearly as guilty as he felt.

“I don’t even care what it is. Just go put it right,” Euphemia said, sounding defeated. She sighed. “You’re a terrible liar.”

 “He really didn’t do anything,” James called after her as she went to get a potion. “He just feels guilty about something ridiculous.”

 Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing to feel guilty about, Sirius,” James whispered.

Sirius relaxed a little at that, although he _still_ felt a little guilty. He wasn’t sure if it was because they were doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing together, keeping their relationship secret, or if the guilt was unnecessary entirely.

“How was your day at the summer house?” Fleamont asked.

“It was fun. We had lunch on the beach,” James said.

“We should all go together on a weekend sometime,” Fleamont said, toeing off his shoes and sitting on the couch with them. He frowned. “I don’t know how you watch this show.”

“It’s funny, Dad,” James said.  

Euphemia came back and smeared some sort of paste on James’s nose, clearing up the sunburn. He scrunched up his face. “Mum, really, it was fine.”

“That’s better,” she said. “How was your day at the shore? Are you still trying to figure out more about the Hopping Pot? Bathilda mentioned that you asked her about Harry’s cauldrons.”

“It was fun. We are looking for it, but we’re a bit stuck,” James said. “We realized that we don’t actually know what it looks like, so Remus and I are researching it to try to figure it out.”

“I’m helping too,” Sirius added.

“That _is_ an obstacle. Good luck learning more about it,” Euphemia said. “I’m sure that you will figure it out.”

“We will,” James said confidently.

 “What are you planning on doing with the Hopping Pot again?” Fleamont asked.

 “Nothing,” James and Sirius answered simultaneously.

 “As long as you don’t get into too much trouble,” Euphemia said with a sigh.

 “We won’t,” James promised.

 ——————————-

Sirius looked at the letter from his mother sourly, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Not a good letter?” James asked mildly, glad that the understatement brought a smile to Sirius’s eyes even if it only barely tugged at his lips. 

Sirius shrugged. “More of the same, sort of,” he said. “Just a bit different.”

 He cleared his throat and read aloud:

_“Dear son,_

  _Even though you have renounced the Black family name, and renounced your upbringing, Orion and I still love you dearly._

  _Please come home- we will add you back on the tapestry and forgive everything. Someday you will have regrets and realize the futility of your actions. When you do, we will be here. We just hope that you don’t make that decision too late. You have never been as bright as your brother, but surely you can see the error in your current ways by now._

  _If you come home, we will be sure that you’re taken care of and will forgive you if you choose the right path. You know in your heart what is right._

  _Much love,_

 _Walburga Black_ ”

 James frowned. “Vaguely threatening wrapped up in a façade of concern, isn’t it? I can’t believe she thinks you’re stupid...”

 “She’s assuming that I want to come back- or at least see things her way eventually,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

 Fleamont looked up from the Daily Prophet. “It might be related to the news,” he said quietly, turning the paper around so that they could see it.

  _Five Muggleborn Wizards Murdered Brutally in Kent_

 James visibly paled. “It’s getting worse,” he said quietly.

 “Mum probably knew about it before the paper went out,” Sirius said. He sighed and dropped his head to his hands. He still didn’t know if Regulus had joined the Death Eaters officially yet.

 “Sounds like she’s worried that you’re going to end up in danger for being a ‘blood traitor’ then,” James said.

 “It’s shit,” Sirius said. He got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of rum out of the pantry. “She can’t really expect me to come back, can she?”

 Euphemia watched with pursed lips as he poured a shot of rum into his tea.

 “It’s absurd,” James said. “She should be the one asking for forgiveness, not expecting it to be the other way around. I just hope that she leaves you alone.”

 “Bit of an interesting choice, gunfire tea, isn’t it?” Fleamont asked, disapprovingly.

 Sirius shrugged and took a drink. “My Mum’s mad if she thinks I’m coming back,” he said.

 Euphemia didn’t comment on Sirius’s early morning drinking- it wasn’t worrying enough to be angry about, but the hints towards a slight alcoholism tendency were enough that she vanished the rest of the rum rather than saving it.

 “You’re never going to go back. You’re too clever to believe any of her nonsense,” James said encouragingly.

 “Exactly,” Sirius said. He chewed his lip in worry for a moment, before looking up at Fleamont. “Mr. Potter?”

 “Yes?”

 “She, ah, gave me money too and I don’t know what to do with it,” Sirius said, dumping out the contents of the envelope that had held the letter. Ten galleons clinked onto the breakfast table.

 James stared. “I’d take it. Spend it on a cool muggle muggle squeaky horn for your motorbike. It would serve her right.”

 “Squeaky horns are for bicycles, Prongs, not motorbikes,” Sirius told him.

 “Oh. You know that I never pay attention in muggle studies. I’m always talking to you instead,” James pointed out.

 “I think you should mail it back,” Fleamont said. “Being indebted to your mother isn’t worth the cost. You have everything you need here and if you take the money, it’s going to cost you far more than ten galleons.”

 Sirius frowned as he contemplated that, sipping at his gunfire tea. “I think that you’re right,” he decided. He could take the gold, but his mother could hold that over his head. Even if he were having a hard time, Fleamont’s advice was sound.

 “You’re going to send it back then?” James asked.

 “Yeah,” Sirius said. He grabbed a scrap piece of paper.

He scrawled out a quick response: _I have no regrets._

He stuffed the galleons. and note into an envelope, sending it by owl back to his mother.

“We’re proud of you,” Euphemia said gently.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, with a shrug. “She’s a liar anyway. Don’t think that she could love anyone- I’m not even convinced the old bat has a heart.”

“We love you,” Fleamont said, seeing Sirius’s false flippancy for what it was, and the swigs he took of rum for what it they really meant.

Sirius looked up from his cup.  “I love you too, Mr. Potter-dad.”

Euphemia reached over and gently patted his back, rubbing between his shoulder blades.

Sirius finished the rest of his tea. “Got to go to the loo,” he said, standing and walking a bit quicker than normal as he felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

He shut the door behind him and sank to the floor. He leaned his head back against the door and looked cielingward as he tried to stave off tears.

His memories of his parents and Regulus weren’t all unpleasant, which made everything much harder. If they weren’t choosing the wrong side of everything, didn’t think he was a disappointment, or didn’t support Voldemort of all people- then it could be a strained relationship yet still something. He wanted no obligation to his family during troubled times. Mr. Potter was entirely right about indebtedness. It spoke volumes.

James’s dad was there for him in a way his own father never was. Orion was always deferring to Walburga, choosing her side over his. Fleamont treated him almost like a son, and almost like an adult at the same time. He didn’t shy away from telling him what he thought about the galleons at the breakfast table.

He was loved by all of the Potters. He needed that to be enough and not dwell on what should have been with his own family.

He heard a tap at the door and wiped tears from his eyes. 

“Mum wants me to make sure that you didn’t fall in or sneak more rum into the loo,” James said teasingly, although there was a note of worry in his voice.

“Nah, no rum,” Sirius said. “Give me a minute.” 

James leaned against the wall beside the door. He rolled his eyes at the sound of a flow hitting porcelain. “You’ve been in there all this time and didn’t even go yet?”

“Shut up,” Sirius said.

James waited for a few more moments while Sirius washed his hands.

When he stepped out, James took one look at his red watery eyes and slid his arms tightly around his waist. “Maybe we won’t open any of your Mum’s letters anymore. We’ll just send them back unopened that way she’ll know that you’re not reading them and that she’s not getting to you,” James suggested.

“But she _is_ getting to me,” Sirius mumbled into James’s shoulder as he leaned into the embrace.

“She doesn’t have to know that,” James told him.

“Your dad’s right though, you know. I don’t want indebted to anyone dark or on You-Know-Who's side of things,” Sirius said.

“I think he just meant that you shouldn’t be indebted to someone that was abusing you-“

 “She didn’t abuse me. She never hit me- not more than any other misbehaved kid getting a spanking. That’s normal. She never used bad magic on me,” Sirius said, although he knew on some level that it was a lie that he was telling himself- that it was all more complicated than that.

“Okay,” James said quietly. He squeezed Sirius’s waist tighter. “You said that she never used dark magic on you, right? Did she ever hex you? Were you afraid that she might?”

“Don’t,” Sirius said. James _knew_ the answer to that. He was afraid, but it was all so minimal that it hardly felt like abuse.

James didn’t push it after that, just continuing to hold Sirius in his arms.

“She doesn’t fucking love me. ‘I love you dearly.’ It’s fucking codswallop. She loves Regulus. It’s always Regulus. She used to love me or at least the idea of me– but she hasn’t loved me in years. It’s always Regulus that’s the good one, the idiot. It’s him that’s this perfect son,” Sirius said.

“Don’t think about it. She’s vile. Who would want loved by her anyway?” James said, and then realized that it was the _wrong_ thing to say.

Sirius’s face fell and he looked guilty. Of course he knew his family was awful, and he didn’t want connected with them– he was happy that he had ran away. It still hurt.

“It’s better now though, right?” James asked. “My mum and dad love you. You’re here. You don’t have to deal with them.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, as much to reassure himself as to reassure James.

They both held onto each other tightly, leaning in close.

Sirius looked up when Euphemia stood in the doorway. She smiled faintly. “Just checking on you,” she told them, before heading back to the breakfast table.

James slowly pulled back, cheeks a bit flushed.

“You know, we could take the invisibility cloak and go mess with Snivellus or Mulciber or-”

“That’s not a good idea,” James said firmly.

“Or we could grab a few things from my house and mess with Mum-”

“Sirius, no,” James told him, shaking his head.

“Fine. We could ride the bike out to the muggle village-”

“You can’t drive a flying motorbike right now. You’ve been drinking,” James said.

“You’re no fun,” Sirius said, sounding disgruntled. “Then we could go flying instead-” 

“I thought you weren’t going to fly after drinking? Remember?” James said.

“Fuck it, Prongs. You’ve turned into a goody goody. If you’re going to keep shooting all of my ideas down then I’m just going to go ride my skateboard– alone,” Sirius said.

Sirius grabbed his skateboard and headed outside.

 He started down the pavement, staying on the ground at first. Once he hit the earth path he launched himself into the sky, doing a loop.

 James’s shouts for him to get down were ignored.

 He jumped off of it and landed back on the top of the board as it completed another loop. He did a trick of flipping it in the sky, working his way up to more complicated maneuvers.

 One of the looping jumps was too tightly timed and he cursed as he missed the board and hit the ground roughly, tearing a hole in his pants. He made sure he hadn’t scraped his knee too badly before climbing back onto the fallen skateboard.

 A few more loops of practice ice and he managed the more complicated trick that he just flubbed moments prior.

 He grinned and repeated the trick several more times.

 “Sirius?”

 He looked behind him, seeing James hoving on a broomstick that he must have grabbed while Sirius was practicing.

 “Did you see me land that loop and flip?” Sirius asked, grinning.

 “Yeah,” James said, although he didn’t seem nearly as enthused as he should have been. “Marvelous. Could we go have a word on the ground?”

 Sirius ignored him and did another loop with the skateboard.

 “I’m worried that you’re going to hurt yourself,” James said.

 “I’m not. I don’t even feel the shot of rum I had at breakfast. It’s fine. I’m fine,” Sirius said. He was much better when he wasn’t dwelling on anything.

 “Sirius-”

 “Are you going to fly with me or just hover there?” Sirius asked. He spun the skateboard in the air, flipping it over and landing on it again.

 “I know you’re upset-”

 “Not upset,” Sirius said, intentionally doing a far more complex maneuver on the skateboard, narrowly nailing it.

 “Look, I just want to talk about some of what happened with you and your Mum-”

 “I don’t,” Sirius said firmly, shooting several feet higher into the air nearly out of earshot.

 James followed him up higher. “Fine. We won’t talk about it. We’ll find something else to do to get your mind off of it-”

 “My mind would already be off of it if you’d just shut up and fly,” Sirius said.

 “Fine. We’ll find something else to do then that’s not flying-”

 “I’m perfectly fine to fly,” Sirius said, doing another complicated jump off of the skateboard before landing back on it midair again. “See?”

 “I know you’re not drunk from the rum. I know that. I’m just worried that you’re too upset about the letter-”

 “I’m not that upset about the fucking _letter_!” Sirius snapped.

 He sent the skateboard around in a vertical loop in the sky as he leapt off of it. He nearly landed the jump, but on the downswing his foot caught wrong. He felt his breath catch in panic and his heart drop.

 James swooped down to grab him just too late and he felt the hard impact of his back against the ground. All of the air was knocked out of him, and for a moment he panicked, his heart feeling as if it stopped beating for a moment.

 “Sirius!”

  _He couldn’t breathe_.

 It only took a second, but it felt much longer before James was next to him on the ground, by his side.

 “Are you okay?” James asked worriedly.

  _He couldn’t breathe._

 Sirius stared wide eyed at James. His glasses were askew and his face was white with worry. Sirius’s pulse quickened. He couldn’t get any words out. His lungs wouldn’t fill.

 _He couldn’t breathe_.

“Mum! Mum!” James yelled. “Mum! Come quick!”

Euphemia came running out the door, holding her skirt out to one side out of the way as she rushed over. “What’s wrong?” Fleamont rushed out behind her, though he quickly caught up to her.

 “Sirius fell off of his skateboard. He was really high up. He hit the ground. Is he going to be okay?”

 Sirius looked up at them finally drew a shaky shallow breath of air that wasn’t enough. It was still a relief.

 “Take deep breaths,” Euphemia told him, kneeling next to James.

 “Can’t,” Sirius groaned out, voice strained. He drew another shallow breath.

 “You’re all right. You just got the wind knocked out of you. It’ll be okay in a minute. Relax and take deep breaths,” Euphemia assured him.

 Sirius nodded and took a few gasping breaths of air, still struggling to get enough. James and his parents were staring down at him with concern. James looked guilty and was still peaky.

 It took a moment, but Sirius finally got a solid breath of air, and another one after that.

 “That’s better,” Euphemia said, sounding relieved. “Does anything hurt?”

 “No,” Sirius wheezed. He realized that he was shaking a little.

 Euphemia frowned. “Squeeze my hand- good. Now with the other hand? Good. Wiggle your toes and feet for me? Okay. Can you sit up?”

 Sirius sat up slowly. Euphemia leaned in closer, looking at his pupil size for a moment. “Good.”

 “Help me get him inside,” Euphemia said.

 Fleamont lifted Sirius into his arms with a grunt, struggling a little to carry him, but managing with James’s help. Sirius slung his arm around his shoulders, breathing still going back to normal.

 “Let’s have him rest on the sofa,” Euphemia said.

 They eased him down onto the sofa carefully and James sat down in the floor next to him, still concerned.

 “I think he’s fine and just got the wind knocked out of him, but we’ll keep an eye on him. I’ll get him a potion just in case,” Euphemia said, going to the study.

 “Idiot,” James mumbled. “There’s no reason to be that reckless.”

 “A little bit of an idiot yeah,” Sirius said, voice still a little rough sounding.

 “You scared me,” James said.

 “You’ve fallen off of a broom before,” Sirius said.

 “I know- that’s different,” James said. “Are you sure nothing hurts?”

 Sirius shook his head, taking a few more deep breaths before answering. “Nothing. I feel fine other than the breathing and shaking,” he said, looking down at his still shaking hands.

 “You can breathe better now though, right?” James asked.

 “Loads. Couldn’t breath at all at first,” Sirius said.

 “Deep steady breaths,” Fleamont reminded him. “Do you think you need to go get checked out at St. Mungos?”

 Sirius shook his head. “I think I’m fine,” he said.

 Euphemia came back with a potion. “Here,” she said gently.

 Sirius took a sip and smiled. “This potion is really good. Warm. Sort of fruity. Normally potions taste dreadful,” he said.

 “It takes a bit more effort and expensive ingredients to make the pleasant tasting ones,” Euphemia said. “Drink up.”

 Sirius finished off the potion and handed the cup back to Euphemia.

 “Would you mind taking your top off? I’d like to check your breathing and make sure nothing is out of sorts. We can go to St. Mungos if we need to, but you should be fine,” Euphemia told him.

 “Right,” Sirius said. He lifted his top off and sat there awkwardly as Euphemia checked him over and listened to his chest.

 “You don’t seem to have a concussion and aren’t wheezing anymore,” Euphemia said.

 Fleamont knelt next to James and carefully felt over Sirius’s ribcage. He was surprisingly gentle, although a few places were a bit sore. It was odd having both of James’s parents worry over him without yelling at him or belittling him in the process. “No broken ribs,” Fleamont said, relieved. He stood up. “That was the main worry other than a concussion.”

 “Good. Sirius, get some rest. Do you have any requests for lunch?” Euphemia asked.

 “Treacle tart?” James said hopefully.

 “Not you- although I’ll make that too,” Euphemia said.

 “I’m fine with anything you make,” Sirius said honestly.

 “I know that, but what would you like?” Euphemia asked.

 “Leek and potato soup?” Sirius suggested

 Euphemia gently rested her hand on his head, realizing that he still felt out of sorts just from the food choice- it was far more of a comfort food than she expected out of him. She grabbed a blanket and covered him with it. “Treacle tarts, and leek and potato soup it is then.”

 “Thank you Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said.

 “Don’t thank me yet,” Euphemia said. “You are grounded from riding your skateboard for the next week by the way.”

 “Okay, Mrs. Potter-mum” Sirius said, surprising James by not pushing back this time.

 “I’ll go get lunch sorted,” Euphemia told them, heading to the kitchen.

 Fleamont leaned closer to James, whispering something to him before heading out of the room. James’s face was unreadable.

 “That could have gone a lot worse,” Sirius said, once they were out of earshot.

 “That’s an understatement,” James said with a sigh. He rubbed at his temples, shutting his eyes for a moment.

 “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked.

 “Dad said something… it’s just… Mum, had to have been really worried about taking you to St. Mungos. She _would_ have taken you just as a precautionary measure,” James said. “Mum is always so overly cautious.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“If she had taken you to St. Mungos, they might have called _your mum_ ,” James said, tone pained. “You’re still their son even if they’ve disowned you or whatever they’ve decided they’re doing about you now.”

 Sirius went cold and paled at that. “I didn’t think about that.”

 “Yeah,” James said. He reached up and gently brushed the backs of his fingers over Sirius’s cheek affectionately. “So you’ll have to let her know if you need to go to St. Mungos, but she’s not going to make you go, I don’t think, unless there’s something wrong. I think you’re probably okay though, right?”

 “Yeah I’m fine,” Sirius said. “It just scared me a little. I should have added more charms to the skateboard. Our motorbike crash was easier than this.”

 “We’ll add more,” James said. He dropped his voice a bit lower. “Just don’t do anything dangerous until you’re seventeen? Mum and Dad could probably adopt you, but I don’t really want you to be my actual brother at this point. It’d be weird now.”

 “Very weird,” Sirius agreed.

 James smiled. He pecked Sirius’s lips. “That was a brilliant set of tricks on the skateboard though,” he finally conceded.

 Sirius grinned. “Yeah?”

 “I don’t know why you don’t play Quidditch,” James said.

 “Regulus is better on a broom than I am. I like to go fast and do tricks, not chase balls around with a team,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Besides, I like watching you play instead.”

 “If you say so,” James said.

 “I wonder how high someone could get a levicorpus spell to go,” Sirius mused.

 “What do you mean?” James asked.

 “Well, people do it all the time for fun- we do it too. But if someone got very good at it… No one is going to be able to be able to fight right after a fall like that,” Sirius said.

 “I suppose if people weren’t prepared for it, they couldn’t do anything to counter the fall,” James said.

 “Exactly,” Sirius said. “A useful spell for the Order of the Phoenix once we join.”

 “I suppose you’re right,” James said brightly. He kept thinking it over.

 “What do you want to do until lunch?” Sirius asked.

 “You’re _supposed_ to be resting,” James told him.

 Sirius frowned. “I can’t just rest. I-”

 “Here, sit up. We’ll watch the telly then,” James said.

 Sirius sat up and scooted over.

 James turned on the television and slid his arm around Sirius’s shoulders.

 “There’s nothing interesting on the television right now,” Sirius complained.

 “Do you want to play chess then? Gobstones?” James asked.

 Sirius shook his head and rested against James. “Boring,” he told him.

 “Maybe we could write Remus and Peter again? Or we could research the Hopping Pot more,” James suggested.

 “I don’t know,” Sirius huffed. “I just…”

 “Want your mind off of things. I know,” James said. He pressed a gentle kiss to his neck and drummed his fingers over Sirius’s shoulder.

 “Can we do something exciting?” Sirius asked.

 “You really do need to rest,” James said apologetically.

 “Resting is boring,” Sirius groaned in protest.

 “Come on then,” James said, taking hold of Sirius’s hand as he stood. “We’ll go for a walk to the muggle village. Put your top back on.”

 Sirius stood when James tugged him but winced, hands going to his ribcage. He eased back down slowly onto the sofa.

 “Does it hurt?” James asked worriedly.

 “Not bad- just aches a bit. Maybe we will play chess instead,” he finally conceded, bringing the blanket back up around him.

 “I’ll go get the board,” James told him. “I’m not as good as Remus at chess.”

 “Me either,” Sirius said. “I’ll probably lose.”

 James set up the board and grabbed a folding chair, sitting across from him. “Maybe. We might be evenly matched,” he said.

 “You’ve forgotten how dismal I am at it,” Sirius said, reaching out to make the first move and wincing again at the stretch of his arm.

 “We’ll just blame it on your fall if you do lose,” James joked, although he knew that he would be keeping track of Sirius’s playing in case he seemed more out of sorts than usual or if there were signs of a concussion.

 He was relieved when Sirius managed to win against him twice in a row before lunch was ready.

\----------------------------------------------


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might end up taking a couple weeks off from this story just to give it some time to sit with a couple scenes and sort them out. One of my coworkers was on maternity leave and just quit so I've been working 6 days a week and really need to give this fanfic a bit more time than it's getting right now (and also nap). Just a heads up!

The next few days were carefully calculated on James’s part to avoid any boredom Sirius might feel over being stuck recuperating.

Both Remus and Peter had come over to stay again, albeit this time they were on a mission. 

Remus had a stack of books scattered on James bedside table, both beds, and across the floor. All four of them were focused on researching the Hopping Pot. None of them were having much luck with the books that they had bought at Flourish and Blotts with James’s pocket money. 

“This book is useless,” James said, as he shut it, having skimmed through all of the pertinent bits of information. He was sprawled out on his bed, laying on his stomach, arms propped propping him up to read.

“There aren’t going to be easy answers in any of the books,” Remus reminded them. “We’re looking for information that’s been questioned in terms of legitimacy. We’re going to have to skim through a lot of useless material to find something.”

“This is boring,” Sirius said.

“We have to do this if we want to find the Hopping Pot,” James insisted. 

Sirius flopped on top of him, looking over his shoulder at his next choice in book. “It’s still boring.”

“It’ll go faster if you actually help,” James said.

“Peter’s not helping,” Sirius pointed out.

Remus looked  up from his book. “We’ve been at it for a while. You could take a break and come back to it if you need to, but we do need the help,” he said. 

Sirius groaned. He rested his head on James’s shoulder. “Fine. I’ll take a break and get back at it in a bit,” he said. 

James frowned and thumbed through the book, looking at the index first.

“Do you want to take a break too?” Sirius asked. 

“Maybe in a bit,” James said. “I think we can make good progress right now.”

“Not with Sirius distracting you,” Peter said, looking up from his book. “He’s even distracting  _ me _ .”

“I’m not that distracting,” Sirius said.

“You’re very talkative,” Peter protested.

“Fine, I’ll be quiet,” Sirius said.

He was true to  his word for a moment, reading over James’s shoulder. 

“Do you think it has an actual foot? Like in the story?” Sirius asked.

“No, Sirius. I’m sure it’s metaphorical,” Remus said. “No one would put an actual foot on a cauldron. That would be ridiculous and fairly obvious.”

“It had a foot in the story though. What if we’re wasting our time and it really does have a foot? Then we’ll know it when we see it. We could be looking right now instead of reading,” Sirius said. 

“That’s highly unlikely,” Remus said skeptically.

“It’s possible. I don’t see why that couldn’t be the case, although surely my grandfather would have noticed a cauldron with an actual foot…” James said. 

“But it could have an actual foot!” Sirius said, smiling. “Right?”

“Would you stop talking? Get off James, stop being a pouf, and let us all read if you’re not going to help,” Peter snapped.

James stiffened beneath him and Sirius rolled off to his side. “Fine. It’s not my fault you have a short attention span,” Sirius bit back at him. He knew it was just standard teasing, but it actually bothered him this year now that the word applied to him.

“Not as short as your temper,” Peter threw back at him. 

“ _ Almost _ as short as your dick,” Sirius snapped.

“Arse,” Peter said, not able to come up with anything better to irritate him. He was never as quick with the insults as the others.

“No need to be nasty,” Remus told Sirius.

“He started it,” Sirius said.

“Peter was rude,” James pointed out.

“I suppose,” Remus said, frowning. 

“He was,” James said firmly. “I’m er, dating Sirius now. So he is a bit- it’s rude to call him that.”

“Are you messing with us?” Peter asked, looking between them.

“He’s not joking,” Sirius said with a shrug. He felt nervous and a bit queasy. He looked at James uneasily. “I didn’t realize we were going to tell them.”

“Ah, sorry,” James said. “We can trust them not to tell anyone.”

Sirius wrinkled his nose skeptically. 

“Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us,” Remus said with a small smile. “It’s a bit of a surprise, but I’m happy for you.”

“Are you in on the joke?” Peter asked Remus.

“Peter!” Remus said.  

“It’s not a joke,” James said more firmly. 

Peter looked between James and Sirius.

“Not a joke,” Sirius said, shaking his head, looking from Peter to James.

“Oh,” Peter said. He frowned. He was quiet for a moment. “You’re really not joking?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this,” James said. He slung an arm around Sirius. 

“Do you have a problem with it?” Sirius asked. 

“No!” Peter said quickly, shaking his head. “I just… didn’t know. I’m sorry I called you a… you know.”

Sirius shrugged. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Can’t tell anyone,” James reminded Peter.

“I won’t,” Peter said. He glanced between the two of them again, looking confused. “Do you… do normal dating stuff?” 

“Of course,” James said, frowning. “Er, at least I think so.”

“You snog?” Peter asked curiously.

“Yeah,” James said. Sirius tapped at one of the books, feeling a bit flustered. 

“Have you shagged?” Peter asked, eyes wide. 

“Peter!” Remus said.

James and Sirius exchanged a look. “Not exactly,” James said. 

Peter stared at them. “Which one of you is the one that… you know?” Peter asked.

James and Sirius exchanged a look. The corners of their mouths just barely tilted upwards in amusement.

“That what?” James asked, looking back at him as if completely perplexed.  

“Erm. You know what I mean. Which one of you is the chaser and which one is the keeper?” Peter asked.

James managed the most perfectly oblivious face that Sirius had ever seen. “I’m the chaser- Sirius doesn’t play Quidditch, remember?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I mean… who’s the pitcher?” Peter asked.

“Blimey, we don’t play basebasketball,” James said, wide eyed and with just a hint of a smirk.

“No, I just mean, how does it work?” Peter asked.

“How does what work?” Sirius asked.

“In bed?” Peter whispered.

“We don’t play Quidditch in bed,” James said, still mostly straight faced.

“Never again. We lost the snitch the one time we did,” Sirius said solemnly. 

“No!”

“Peter, they know what you’re asking, and they’re having a bit of a go at you,” Remus told him kindly. “I don’t think it’s something they’re going to share.”

“Oh… But-”

“Oh, give it up,” Sirius told Peter. “Don’t worry. You can keep hero worshiping James. We haven’t done  _ that  _ yet.”

“I’m not hero worshiping anyone,” Peter protested. 

“You do too,” Sirius teased.

“I do not!” Peter protested, gathering up his things since James and Remus were as well.

“You do!” Sirius maintained. He cocked his head, looking impish. “Which one of us do  _ you _ think is the chaser?”

“What? Me? Erm…” Peter faltered. He looked between them as if contemplating a very dangerous puzzle.

Sirius nearly howled in laughter at Peter’s wide eyed expression. 

“Yeah, which one of us  _ do _ you think is the chaser?” James asked with an amused smirk.

“Not answering that,” Peter squeaked. 

Remus rolled his eyes. “Do your parents know?” Remus asked James. 

“Not yet. They’d probably make us sleep in separate rooms if they did,” James said. “They know Sirius likes blokes though.”

“We’re supposed to be sleeping in separate rooms anyway,” Sirius pointed out. 

“Yeah, but no sense in making them try to enforce it,” James said with a shrug.  He reached out to gently squeeze Sirius’s hand. 

Sirius blushed and jerked his hand away. 

“It’s really okay,” Remus told them. 

“I am sorry that I told them without asking,” James told Sirius. “We both trust them completely and I didn’t think anything of it.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius said with a shrug although he frowned. He would have waited to tell them. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them- it was just that it required a significant amount of trust to tell someone that sort of secret. “Just don’t tell anyone else?”

“I won’t,” James promised. He hugged Sirius gently. “I promise I won’t.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. He let out a relieved breath and hugged James for a moment longer before pulling away. 

“Come on, let’s figure out what the Hopping Pot looks like,” James told him. 

Sirius sighed. He flopped down onto the bed next to James.

“It’s boring,” he complained, although he grabbed another book and started skimming through it. 

“C’mere,” James said. He slung an arm around Sirius and looked down at his own book.

Sirius smiled and glanced over at James before resting his head on his shoulder.

“Better?” James asked. 

“Yeah,” Sirius murmured. He leafed through the book, tucking closer to James as he did. 

Peter glanced at them curiously, but went back to looking at his own book as well. 

The day dragged on with very little results and a mounting pile of books that they’d gone through. They seemed to fall into a focused state, working to find any clue about the Hopping Pot. 

It was nearly dinner time when Remus excitedly showed his book to them. 

“It’s not much to go on,” Remus said. “But look here- this book mentions another book that treats the Hopping Pot more seriously. It references a description of the Hopping Pot itself as well.”

“I knew that we’d find something!” James said brightly. “Brilliant. Where do we find the book?”

“That’s the issue,” Remus said. “It’s a dark sort of book. It describes the Hopping Pot negatively for it’s positive sentiments towards muggles… So we’ll have better luck looking for it Knockturn Alley.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” James said. 

“We’re not going to find it in Flourish and Blotts,” Remus said. 

“I don’t want to go to Knockturn Alley,” Peter complained, looking genuinely fearful. 

“You don’t have to,” James said. “Sirius and I can go. We’re both purebloods so it’s a bit safer.”

“Is it safe for anyone?” Remus asked, concerned. 

“It’s safest for us,” James said with a shrug. “We’ll go together, right Padfoot?”

“Right. I’m sure they’ll be more willing to sell a book to me than any of the rest of you,” Sirius said, sounding a little more huffy and bitter about it than he wanted. 

“I’ll come with you,” Remus suggested. 

“No, you stay here where it’s a bit safer,” James said. 

“Let’s take Moony with us. No sense in leaving him out if we’re all going to join the Order of the Phoenix after school,” Sirius said. 

“It’s more dangerous for him,” James argued.

“Not that dangerous I’m sure,” Remus said. “I’m half blood. They’re not too fond of werewolves, but we’ll be fine.”

“See? He wants to come along,” Sirius said. 

“Fine, we’ll go together,” James said. 

“After dinner,” Peter said. His stomach growled. 

“After dinner,” James agreed. 

___________________________________

Sirius changed into new robes that he hadn’t worn yet after dinner. Both James and Remus also wore robes rather than muggle styles. They headed back down to the fireplace.

“Where are you all heading?” Euphemia asked curiously. 

“Nowhere,” Sirius said.

“Godric’s Hollow,” James said. 

“Er-” Remus said.

“Godric’s Hollow?” Euphemia asked dubiously.

“Yes,” James said with a confident smile. 

“Why are you wearing that?” Euphemia asked, pointing to Sirius’s outfit.

Sirius looked down and then back up again. “They’re robes.”

“You never wear robes,” Euphemia said.

Sirius frowned and then shrugged. “Bathilda Bagshot made fun of my clothes last time we were in Godric’s Hollow,” he said, and it wasn’t exactly a lie. 

“Oh,” Euphemia said. She bit her lip. “Sorry about that. She did mention that…”

“Can we go now?” James asked impatiently.

“Be back before it gets dark,” Euphemia said. 

“We will,” James promised. 

“Godric’s Hollow,” Sirius said, going through the Floo.

Remus and James joined them a moment later. 

“Sneaky and manipulative,” James told Sirius. 

“It got us here without her asking any more questions didn’t it?” Sirius said. 

“It did,” James agreed. “She felt guilty that Bathilda was rude about your clothes though.”

Sirius shrugged. “It did bother me,” he admitted.

“I hope Mum tells her off then,” James said. 

“Knockturn Alley then?” Sirius asked.

“Yes,” Remus said, looking at the fireplace they’d just come through.

James took a breath before grabbing another handful of Floo Powder and going through, with Remus and Sirius following behind him. 

They headed out onto the street. 

“I can’t believe we’re in Knockturn Alley so close to dark,” James said, looking around cautiously. 

“Not my favorite place to be,” Sirius admitted, feeling as if the hair was standing up on the back of his neck. “Bookstore is this way.”

He led the way down the street, not making eye contact with anyone that they passed by, just hurrying busily on his way with Remus and James following close behind. 

“Don’t look at people,” Sirius snapped at Remus who was ogling some of the witches and wizards they passed. 

“Sorry,” Remus said reflexively. He glanced at James before just keeping his eyes on Sirius.

“You never know what sort of people there are around here. You don’t want to make eye contact. Trust me,” Sirius said. 

“Right,” Remus said quietly.

They kept heading towards the bookstore, but Sirius nearly stopped abruptly.

Regulus was standing with several older boys including Mulciber, Avery, and Malfoy. He was wearing a grey robe with silver fastenings that looked very similar to one that Walburga had tried to get Sirius to wear.

He thought that Regulus’s gaze may have drifted over to him, but if he spotted Sirius, he gave no indication. His gaze drifted back to Malfoy and they continued their conversation.

Sirius walked on ahead, ushering Remus and James into the bookstore.

“Was that Regulus?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if he saw us,” Sirius said. “Where do we find the book?”

“Should be this way,” Remus said, leading them to the section.

“I am glad we brought you along. We would have had to ask for help,” James admitted. Neither of them really wanted to talk to the shop owner or clerk at the desk for long. 

Remus smiled. “Thank you. I thought it might be for the best,” he said, leading them to a less traveled section of the bookstore. 

He skimmed through titles in the section, looking for the author’s name. “Ah, there it is,” he said. He removed it from the shelf and opened it. Remus looked at the index of the book and spent a while leafing through the pages until he found an illustration of the Hopping Pot as it actually looked. The source was potentially not as legitimate as they had hoped, but there was very little information to go on, and a lot of magical artifacts were often falsely listed as legend only later to have their validity proven. Remus stared at the page.

“What?” James asked, looking at him. 

“Sirius was right. It actually has a foot,” Remus said, showing them. 

“Really?” Sirius asked, grinning. “I was right!” 

“Well, that’s easy enough,” James said.

“Should we still buy the book?” Sirius asked.

“It might have more useful information in it. We should get it,” Remus decided.

They headed up to the counter. Sirius put the book up on the counter and pulled out some of James’s pocket money. 

The shopkeeper eyed them, but picked up the book, placing it in a bag for them. “That will be ten galleons,” he drawled. 

Sirius placed the stack of galleons on the counter and took the bag. “Thank you,” he said curtly. 

“Sirius?” 

Ordinarily Sirius was prone to punching, hitting, shoving, or kicking when he was scared, or at the very least he could manage to run, but there was something about his mother’s voice that always left him frozen, a chill going up his spine. 

He turned to face her. James’s hand went to his wand and Remus hung back. 

“Do you ever have any reasonable thoughts go through that head of yours? Ever? Do you even  _ think _ ?” Walburga asked. “If you were even half as intelligent as Regulus you wouldn’t do stupid things like this.”

“What exactly have I done?” Sirius asked warily, raising an eyebrow. 

“Knockturn Alley? At this hour? Unsupervised?” Walburga prodded. “If Regulus hadn’t spotted you-”

“Regulus told on me then?” Sirius asked. 

Walburga sighed. “Of course he informed me. He knows what’s proper. Why did I have to have two sons?”

“Erm,” Sirius said, although he looked down.

James crossed his arms, glancing between them. Remus just hung his head, trying not to react too much.

“I regret having you sometimes. After all that I’ve done for you, and you still do such shameful things just to make me look bad. I brought you up properly, and this is how you repay me?” Walburga asked.

Sirius shrugged. 

“If you were more like your brother then none of this would be an issue. You walk around far too confident in yourself, not even realizing that you’re a complete idiot. You’re going to get yourself in genuine trouble or killed someday,” Walburga said. “It will be your own fault when it happens.”

“Whatever. I need to get home,” Sirius mumbled. “Just leave me alone. I don’t want to embarrass you more. ”

“Too late for that. You’re already an embarrassment,” Walburga said. “I’m not finished talking to you yet. If you would just come back home we need to get you under control and sorted. Other parents don’t have to deal with such shameful children-” 

“You’re the one the disowned me,” Sirius snapped.

Walburga’s eyes widened. “How dare you? To throw that in my face? I was distraught. You’re the one that ran away. You’re the one that acted absolutely reprehensible. Of course I reacted like that when you’re the one that hurt me,” she said. “I already apologized for that. It’s in the past. You’re senselessly hurting your father and I by not behaving and punishing us by not coming home. You’re a complete disaster that can’t take any responsibility for anything in your life.”

“I didn’t- I’m not punishing you Mum. If anything it’s the other way around,” Sirius said.

“You have no idea how  _ good  _ you have it-” Walburga said very quietly, voice somehow still commanding. “-if you think that anything that I’ve done to you is really  _ punishment _ .”

He flinched. He felt James’s hand go to his back pocket to draw his wand.

“Walburga,” a voice came from behind them. “Is that Sirius that I hear?”

Sirius’s head turned and his eyes widened in relief. 

“Uncle Alphard!” he said brightly.

“Oh, you’ve grown,” the older man said. He was far more wrinkled than Walburga in spite of being siblings. He had the same yellowed pale complexion that she did and his blue-grey eyes were a bit dimmed with age. His hair was stark white with a few hints of the black it had formerly been, growing patchy throughout.

“Thanks,” Sirius said awkwardly. “How is your summer going?”

“Good. Yours?” Alphard asked. 

“Mum disowned me,” Sirius told him. 

“So that’s what all of the arguing about?” Uncle Alphard asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“I didn’t disown him. He ran away,” Walburga clarified. 

“And then she disowned me,” Sirius added.

“Ah. Are you still coming to Bellatrix’s wedding?” he asked. 

Sirius shook his head. “No… Definitely not.”

“He will be,” Walburga said.

“No I won’t,” Sirius shot back. 

“Why don’t you lot come help me pick out an engagement present for her? I know you’re not planning on going, but I’d like the help and company,” Alphard told them.

“I’m not finished discussing this with Sirius,” Walburga said. 

“I’m not talking to mother. I hate her,” Sirius snapped. 

Walburga’s eyes welled up with manipulative tears and she sniffled. “You see how dreadful he can be?” she said.

“I’ll give him a talking to- that’s no way to talk to your mother. Come along. Let’s go find an engagement present and chat a bit,” Alphard said.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but uncomfortably followed Alphard.

“Where do you think you’re going with my son?” Walburga demanded. 

“He’s not your son if you disowned him,” Alphard told her. 

“How dare you both- discussing this in public and so shamefully,” Walburga snapped.

Alphard tugged Sirius along out the door of the shop and into the street, James and Remus following behind him. 

“What did you do to get disowned?” Alphard asked. 

“Er- not really anything in particular. I keep wearing muggle things, and spending time with muggleborns. I don’t want to get married to a pureblood. I’m in Gryffindor. I don’t really know. I did yell at her and run away,” Sirius said.  

“You could have just become a bachelor like me,” Alphard said. “And you can’t help being a Gryffindor even if that’s not the house I would have chosen for you.”

“I guess,” Sirius said.

“What did you run away for?” Alphard asked.

“I don’t know! I don’t. I couldn’t stand it. I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius said, more loudly than he’d intended. 

“Let’s look in this shop,” Alphard said, leading them into one of the nearby shops, mostly to get them out of the street. 

“Where have you been living if she’s disowned you?” Alphard asked, more gently now. 

“I’ve been with James’s family,” Sirius said, nodding towards James. 

“Mum and Dad have been great about it,” James confirmed. 

“There’s no sense in running away from family you know. If she’s just being unreasonable, you can deal with that. She does love you,” Alphard said.

“She doesn’t,” Sirius said firmly. “I had plenty of reasons to run away. Good reasons.”

“There are no good reasons to hate your family,” Alphard said firmly.

“There are some,” Sirius mumbled, fiddling with one of the items on the shelf. 

Alphard eyed him more carefully. “Did she do something to you?” he asked. 

“No,” Sirius said. “Nothing awful. I mean, you’ve heard how she talks to me. Isn’t that reason enough?”

“Has she hurt you? Cursed you? Hexed you?” Alphard asked.

Sirius’s cheeks coloured. “No, not really,” he said.

Alphard stared at him for a moment. He sighed. “Are you afraid of her?” 

“That’s stupid,” Sirius mumbled.

Alphard gently rested his hand on the top of Sirius’s head. “No one is supposed to be afraid of their own mother.”

“I’m not,” Sirius said.

“Then I’ll just take you back home to her then?” Alphard suggested.

“No!” Sirius said quickly, surprising himself by jerking away from the contact Alphard had made on his head. He wasn’t about to be apparated back to Grimmauld’s place. 

“Shit, Sirius. I wasn’t really going to take you,” Alphard said, looking far more concerned. “Here, let's go get you some stuff from Honeydukes or somewhere…”

“I don’t want anything. I don’t want to talk to any of you all again- especially anyone that talks to my mum,” Sirius said, shaking his head. 

“Then I’ll stop talking to your mum,” Alphard said.

“But she’s your sister,” Sirius protested. 

“Not if she’s made my favourite nephew scared of her, she isn’t,” Alphard said, shaking his head. 

Sirius was quiet for a moment, taking a few steps towards him again, but stopping short, still distrustful. “Thank you,” he said. 

“I’ll just buy some sort of protective object for Bellatrix’s new home with that Lestrange boy later. Do you want to come home with me?” Alphard asked.

“No, I’m fine with the Potters,” Sirius reassured him. “I ought to get going.”

“Write to me at any time, and if you need a place to stay after school, just ask,” Alphard said. He dug galleons out of his pockets. He handed them to James, realizing that Sirius was still jumpy. “Go get you some sweets from Honeydukes or something. I do have to treat my favorite nephew to something. And  _ stay out of trouble _ .”

“I will. Thank you,” Sirius said. 

“Let’s get you back to a Floo so you can get home safely,” Alphard told them.

“Thank you,” James said genuinely. 

Alphard led them safely back to one of the fireplaces.

“Keep your heads down,” Alphard told them. “You know how tense everything is right now.”

“We will. Thank you Mr. Black,” Remus said. He went through the fireplace first. 

“Thanks again,” Sirius said, following behind him. James murmured his thanks and followed through a moment later. 

They headed upstairs quickly with the book. 

“I was right,” Sirius told Peter. “The Hopping Pot has a foot.”

“Well, that was a waste of time then,” Peter said, scrunching up his nose. 

“It’s good to have confirmation,” Remus protested. 

“Show Peter what it looks like,” James said.

Sirius pulled out the book and opened it to the page. 

“That should be easy enough,” Peter mused.

“Well, we’ll have to go over the type of patina on it. There might be ones that resemble it. This one should have a very distinctive patina to it though,” Remus said.

“What’s a patina?” Peter asked.

“It’s a film that’s on the metal,” Remus said. 

“What?” Peter asked. 

“Here,” Remus said, beckoning him over to sit in one of James’s armchairs. He sat down with Peter and pointed to the page.  “We’re going to have to learn the difference between how a tarnish looks and the patina that you see here on the illustration…”

“The what now?” Peter asked again.

James sat down next to them. “Tarnish is undesirable and needs removed. Patina is nicer,” he explained. He looked up at Sirius. “You okay? You’re quiet.”

“Fine,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“You sure that you don’t want to talk about anything?” Remus asked quietly.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said with a smile. 

“Are you sure?” Remus asked worriedly. “We did run into your mother and she wasn’t exactly pleasant.”

“I’m really fine. Would it make you feel better if I said I wasn’t?” Sirius asked. 

“No, but-”

“I could. Prongs! My mother was just dreadful! Spiteful old hag! I don’t think I can bear to go on!” Sirius said dramatically, hopping over into James’s lap. 

James looked startled, but slid an arm around him to keep him from falling. 

“I can’t bear it!” Sirius continued, theatrically, wrapping his arms around him. “She says such nasty things to me it breaks my heart!” He pressed his hand to his chest.  

“Fine. You don’t have to be a git about it,” Remus mumbled. “I was just trying to be nice.”

“He’s not trying to be mean about it Moony,” James said. “I just think… if he doesn’t laugh about it, he might cry.”

“Shut up,” Sirius said, although he dropped his head to James’s shoulder. 

“Sorry,” James said.

Remus looked at them skeptically with a raised eyebrow. The expression faltered though, as he looked at the pair of them, a bit flustered. 

“I’m not crying,” Sirius said. He wasn’t. He was managing to hold everything together still, although he tightened his hold on James. 

“Padfoot…” James said quietly. He rubbed gentle circles over his back.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said firmly. He needed to hold everything together in front of Remus and Peter. It was different when he was just with James. He eased out of James’s lap and flopped into one of the armchairs, sitting sideways so that his legs were dangling over the arm.

“Your Mum’s wrong you know,” James said.

“Hm?” 

“You are smarter than Regulus, you know that, right?” James said.

Sirius shook his head. “I’m not, and that’s why it still hurts. He’s an idiot, but sometimes he really is brighter than I am,” he said quietly.

“He’s not,” James said. 

“I hate her,” Sirius said. “Why does it still get to me, when I hate her?”

James rubbed his back. “It’s just going to hurt. She’s your mum even if she’s an evil old hag.”

“I used to be the favourite you know. Regulus is an idiot for thinking that she loves him. She couldn’t love anyone if she tried,” Sirius said. “She just cares about herself and stupid blood purity.”

“She’s an idiot,” James said. “You’re not- at least not usually.”

“Oi!” Sirius said, although he laughed. 

“Right… so patinas?” Peter questioned. 

Remus cleared his throat and went back to explaining everything to them, including what they would need to look for and how to tell the difference between patinas and tarnish.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back up and posting again now! Updates should be weekly (It's a Sunday/Monday situation again. On really weird weeks it might be as late as a Tuesday).

James’s lips were pressed up against the back of his neck, hair swept out of the way as he pressed gentle kisses to Sirius’s skin. They were curled up close and thoroughly enjoying the closeness that they had denied themselves when they were merely friends.

“D’you want to talk about what happened in Knockturn Alley?” James asked after a moment.

“No,” Sirius said with a frustrated sigh.

 “I thought that since we didn’t get to talk about it with Remus and Peter here you might—”

 "I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius mumbled.

 James was quiet for a moment. “Do you want to talk to my Mum about it?”

 “Shit. No! I don’t want to talk about it at all, Prongs. I feel better now. Talking isn’t going to fix anything, and there’s no sense in talking about it if it’s just going to make me feel bad,” Sirius said.

 “Right,” James said. He hugged Sirius to him tighter, kissing the back of his neck again. “I just want to help.”

“You are helping,” Sirius reassured him. “This is helping. I like laying here when it’s just us.”

 “Me too,” James said softly.

 Sirius smiled and rolled over on the bed, pressing his lips gently to James’s who responded with a soft gentleness that was unexpected. Their lips lingered with only light brushes of their lips and delicate barely there sweeps of tongue that reminded Sirius of exactly how gentle and romantic James could be at times. He’d spent ages doodling Lily Evan’s initials on his parchment at Hogwarts, and while he hadn’t done that with Sirius’s (that Sirius knew of at least) he’d bought flowers for their date and was currently holding him like he needed treated this tenderly rather than the both of them being an unmatched pair of roughness and trouble.

Somehow he still couldn’t voice his thanks for James’s romantic streak, so he tried to put his gratitude into the gentle kisses they shared that were more soft skin than wetness until the air trapped between them was too warm to comfortably breathe. 

James was the first to pull back breathlessly, laying so that he flopped back onto his back although he kept an arm wrapped around Sirius.

“I wish that I could just take you out on a normal date,” James said quietly. “Without feeling scared that someone might find out. I wish that I could take you to Madam Puddifoot’s even though it’s stupid.”

“Not stupid,” Sirius mumbled.

They were both quiet as they both searched for something to say to reassure the other.

“C’mon, get up,” Sirius said, sitting up and taking hold of James’s hand.

“What? Why?” James asked.

“We’re going on a date. Not as nice as the one that you planned for me, but still a date. I haven’t taken you on one you know,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Padfoot, we _can’t_. It’s really late and you know we can’t go out and be seen. Everyone knows my parents, or your parents, so unless you’re fine with me telling them or them finding out—”

“We’re not going anywhere like that. We’re going to a muggle town where no one really knows us,” Sirius told him.

“But—”

 “Don’t think about it. We’ll be fine,” Sirius said. He went to his mirror and switched shirts, peeling his pyjama shirt off and putting on a very tight band t-shirt emblazoned with Roxy Music’s logo on it.

James looked skeptical, but started getting dressed as well. He wore simple classic muggle clothing, that wouldn’t look too expensive if not for the tailoring on them. “We can’t get caught sneaking out or back in,” he told him.

“We won’t,” Sirius reassured him. He yanked up a pair of overly tight trousers and combed through his hair quickly.

James finished dressing and watched as Sirius put on eyeliner, mascara, and a touch of lipstick.

“You’re very handsome even without all of that, y’know,” James told him.

Sirius grinned and turned, pressing a quick kiss to James’s lips.

His hand went to his lips immediately after, feeling some of the waxy lipstick smudged on his own lips. He wiped it off onto his hand and smiled, eyeing Sirius’s smudged lips. “So much effort just to make a mess of it, right?” he said.

“That’s part of the fun,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Where exactly are we going?” James asked.

“We’re going to Islington,” Sirius said. 

James’s frown deeped at that. “Aren’t you worried about your parents? That’s where they live.”

“They don’t go into the muggle portions of town. They don’t talk to any of the neighbors. Regulus did for a while, but you know how he feels about muggles,” Sirius said. “Ready?”

 James looked hesitant.

 “C’mon,” Sirius said, leaning in and pecking his lips again.

 “Okay,” James conceded.

 Sirius grinned. “Nox,” he said, before taking hold of James’s hand.

 Sneaking out of James’s room and down the stairs was easy and well practiced, although they’d never snuck so far away from home in the night before.

They headed out to the bike and wheeled it while it was still off a ways away from their home, far enough that the engine roaring to life wouldn’t wake James’s parents. When they were far enough away, Sirius climbed on and started the bike once James was securely behind him, arms wrapped about his waist. They drove through the air quickly towards London. Sirius landed them before they could be seen flying through below the stars and zipped down the streets of London, through more unfamiliar areas until they reached Islington.

Sirius pulled the motorbike over and found a parking space for them, turning off the engine and climbing off after James was settled on the sidewalk.

“Where are we exactly?” James asked, looking around.

“That’s the Islington Green. It’s a nice enough park. There’s a nice enough fish and chips place near here too, so I thought we could get a late night snack,” Sirius told him. 

“That sounds nice,” James admitted.

"Great,” Sirius said. He slipped his hand into James’s, fingers coming to rest between his. 

James’s cheeks flushed at that, but he just squeezed Sirius’s hand and followed him along. In spite of the fact that they were shot a few uncomfortable looks from the few muggles around them this late in the evening, he did feel safer than he would have around witches and wizards that might have known them. Muggles were generally worse about it from what James had  heard, but he didn’t feel threatened by them with his wand within reach.

“It’s easier when no one knows us,” Sirius said quietly.

"It is,” James admitted. 

Sirius tugged him into a run down muggle shop that James didn’t think was clean enough to be serving food, although he didn’t say anything.

“Have you been here before?” James asked instead. 

“Oh, loads of times,” Sirius told him. “I liked spending summers around here when I wasn’t in trouble.”

“I think I remember you telling me about it now,” James said, vaguely remembering stories Sirius told him about going in muggle shops.

“Welcome, could I take your order?” the tired looking muggle girl at the register asked.

“I’d like fish and chips- the cod,” Sirius said. “And a cherry cola?”

“I’ll have the same,” James said, trusting Sirius’s judgement.

“For here or to go?” the muggle girl asked them.

Sirius glanced at James. 

“Here’s fine,” James said.

“That’ll be eighteen pounds,” the girl at the register told them.

Sirius smiled and handed over two bills hopefully.

The muggle girl looked baffled for a moment before sighing and handing one of them back plus additional change.

“You can take a seat. We’ll bring your order out when it’s ready,” the muggle girl explained as if Sirius were clueless about restaurants before putting the ticket in for the chefs.

James sat down across from Sirius in a booth, laughing a little. “How do you still have no idea how to make change when you grew up in a muggle area?” he asked.

“They always figure it out for me,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I figure I’m doing well enough if I remember not to give them galleons.”

“How do you know they’re not giving you the wrong amount?” James asked.

 “I don’t,” Sirius admitted with a laugh. “S’fine.”

 “It can’t be too hard to learn,” James said.

 “I don’t want to bother with it,” Sirius said. “Unless your dad has put a cap on your pocket money?”

 “He hasn’t. I don’t mind,” James said. “It does make the muggles look at us strangely though.”

 “They don’t think we’re that strange,” Sirius said with a shrug.

 The tired looking muggle girl brought over their food and drinks. “Can I get anything else for you?” she asked.

“No. Thank you,” Sirius said politely.

“Enjoy,” she said before heading back to the register.

“This is nice,” James admitted. “Not having to worry about my parents catching us or anything I mean— a real date.”

Sirius grinned.  “It really is,” he said. He took a few bites of his chips.

James smiled and nudged Sirius’s foot with his own under the table before focusing on his food.

“Do you like the fish?” Sirius asked after a minute.

“It’s a bit greasy, but good,” James said.

“Islington isn’t the nicest area,” Sirius said. “I like the food though, even if it’s not great. It’s different.”

 “I’m glad that we came here,” James said. He took a drink of his cherry cola, eyes lighting up. “This is really good.”

 Sirius laughed. “Isn’t it? It’s very sweet,” he said. “I like it.”

 “Very good,” James said, enjoying the novelty of it.

 “Regulus and I used to buy it by the caseload,” Sirius said. “It made Mum a bit mad, so Regulus stopped, but he did like it.”

 “Do you miss him?” James asked.

 Sirius shrugged. “Sometimes,” he admitted. He sighed. “No regrets though.”

 “No regrets,” James echoed.

 Sirius finished off his chips and ate more of his fish, glancing at the mostly empty restaurant.

“I wish they’d stop staring at us,” James muttered. A few of the muggles did seem to glance at them.

“They’re just looking at my clothes,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Mum warned you that this is a bit dangerous you know,” James reminded him.

“We’re fine. We’ve got wands,” Sirius said with a shrug. “No one is going to do anything.”

“If you say so,” James said.

Sirius leaned across the table and pressed a quick kiss to James’s lips. “We’re fine,” he said, although his cheeks were flushed with a combination of nervousness and shame.

“I don’t know if you’re just very brave or an idiot,” he said. In spite of the words, he leaned over and kissed Sirius lightly on the cheek.

“Why not both?” Sirius asked with a grin.

“Just brave, I think,” James said decisively.

“Not that brave,” Sirius said, looking down at the table.

“You are. You figure out all of the hard parts with all of this,” James said quietly.

“Not hard,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“It is sometimes,” James said quietly.

Sirius was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. It is,” he admitted, voice soft.

James reached over and gently took his hand. “I was wondering when I could tell my parents about us,” he said softly.

Sirius looked up at him, eyes wide. “Not yet,” he said. “Why do you want to tell them?”

James shrugged. “They know about you— I wanted to tell them I like both blokes and birds. I think that they’d catch on about us being together if I told them though.”

“Not yet,” Sirius repeated.

“Might be a bit safer to sit together on the sofa at home than out here in Islington in the middle of the night,” James pointed out, squeezing Sirius’s hand.

“I don’t want your dad to throw me out,” Sirius said.

“What about if I just tell Mum then?” James asked.

Sirius hesitated. “Maybe— but don’t you think she’d tell him? I think they tell each other everything.”

“She wouldn’t if I asked her not to,” James said.

“I dunno. We probably couldn’t sleep in the same bed anymore,” he pointed out.

“We could work around that,” James said. “If they knew, we could have picnic dates in the backyard—”

“Picnic dates, Prongs?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

James’s cheeks reddened. “You liked the first one,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I really did,” Sirius admitted. He shifted around in the booth. “It was special. I’ll think about it. I’m just— not yet.”

“Okay,” James said softly.

“Maybe… maybe right before school starts back up— or if I tell Uncle Alphard about my liking blokes. If he’s all right with it I mean— just as a backup plan in case your parents get upset with me,” he said.

“We’ll wait then,” James reassured him.

Sirius slid his hand out from James’s and grabbed their trash and stood to toss it in a wastebin. He came back and grabbed James’s hand, tugging him up.

“Where to now?” James asked.

“This way,” Sirius said, tugging them down a sidewalk and into a side street. He smirked and pulled them just out of view between two narrowly spaced buildings. Both of their backs were nearly against the wall of each one.

“There’s nothing here,” James said.

“That’s the point,” Sirius told him. He leaned in and softly pressed his lips to James’s, wrapping his arms around his waist.

James kissed him back for a moment, hands resting on his back. He pulled back just enough to be able to speak, eyes still shut. “We can snog at home you know,” he said.

“I know, but I wanted to snog you now. We’ll go get a treacle tart from a pastry shop in a minute,” Sirius said. “I just-”

James pressed their lips together again, kissing him a bit harder this time. He tugged Sirius closer, tongue running along his lips until he parted them. Sirius let out a small whimper as he felt James’s tongue along his, a bit breathless from the more demanding kiss.

They both jerked back when they heard an explosion.

“What was that?” Sirius asked.

“Dunno,” James said, taking his hand. They ran back down the street towards the commotion.

James yanked on Sirius to stop him, nearly knocking both of them over when he saw hooded figures in black robes and masks as well as a few aurors flinging curses back and forth in the air.

They both flinched when green light went sailing towards a muggle, or at least someone dressed as a muggle, who fell to the ground.

“Death Eaters. We have to help,” Sirius said, tugging out of James’s grasp and drawing his wand as he bolted towards the action.

James cursed and followed behind him, drawing his wand. He covered Sirius’s back as Sirius fired off a few hexes aimed at the hooded figures that the aurors hadn’t got to yet.

“Protego,” Sirius shouted, shielding himself and a muggle from a hex.

“Levicorpus!” James shouted, yanking up a muggle out of the way of a different hex.

Sirius fired off another hex at a Death Eater, missing him.

James’s fired off another spell that landed true, and the Death Eater’s head started expanding.

“Nice one!” Sirius shouted.

James fired off another quickly, Sirius doing the same.

Sirius stopped short when he caught sight of his cousin Bellatrix and their eyes locked for a moment.

“ _Crucio!_ ” one of the Death Eaters fired off directly at Sirius, and James found himself leaping towards him, tackling him to the ground.

The next thing he knew, he felt incredibly sick and was laying on the floor of James’s bedroom.

He felt disoriented.

He heaved onto the carpet and groaned at the mess, unbearable pain raking through  his body for just a split second.

“Apparated,” James explained, climbing off of Sirius, who he just realized was missing clothes entirely. He sat up, squinting with the absence of his glasses. “Are you hurt?”

Sirius looked up at James who was missing half of his hair, a trouser leg, and his glasses. James wordlessly wrapped a blanket around him. “You should take a look at yourself.”

James looked down at himself. “Erm, I think I have most of everything,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“Never apparating again,” Sirius said with a shudder. “I think I’m just missing my clothes. And a fingernail.” He looked down at nine fingernails with chipped nail polish and a missing one on his little finger. He checked himself over, just to make sure that was the only thing missing.

“Why are we here? We have to go back and help,” Sirius said urgently.

“We can’t,” James said.

“What do you mean we can’t?” Sirius said. “Just apparate us back and—”

“No,” James told him quietly.

Sirius’s shoulders slumped.

“Get dressed— I’m going to go wake Mum,” James said.

“Why?” Sirius asked. He cursed as James left the room and grabbed out a pair of trousers, tugging them on since he couldn’t bear the thought of being caught starkers by James’s mother.

He had just pulled a shirt on when James came back in the room with his parents. Fleamont was wide eyed with his hair sticking straight up and wearing a robe while Euphemia was just in her night dress, looking concerned.

“What happened?” Euphemia asked, sounding impatient, as if she had hounded James with that question all of the way down the corridor.

“We apparated. We were in Islington and we had to apparate home,” James told her.

“Are either of you missing anything important?” Fleamont asked worriedly.

“No- just my hair and glasses,” James told his father. “Sirius is missing a fingernail.”

“You’re both in trouble. Why were you apparating? What made that seem like a good idea?” Fleamont asked, angry now that the immediate worry had passed.

James and Sirius glanced at each other guiltily.

“We were in Islington. There was fighting-” James started.

“Death Eaters- I know what they wear. I’ve seen one talk to aunt Druella-” Sirius interrupted.

“Someone used a killing curse on a muggle. There were aurors-” James continued, interrupting Sirius.

“We need to go back and help them-” Sirius said quickly.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Fleamont told them firmly.

“But-”

“Quiet!” Fleamont barked.

“I apparated us home,” James told them after a moment of quiet. “I knew it was dangerous without a license but-”

“You could have died. You could have splinched off something really important. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?” Fleamont asked him.

“Erm… Less dangerous than being around Death Eaters?” James said. He decided not to mention that they had tried to fight them.

Fleamont turned away from them, face red. There were very few moments when his son managed to upset him with his boldness and cheekiness, but he had managed this time.

Sirius could faintly hear him mumbling to himself. “...three… four….five… six…”

“We should go help. They’re killing-” Sirius interrupted his counting.

“Sirius, be quiet for just one minute,” Euphemia snapped, and for once Sirius did, not used to hearing Mrs. Potter so abrupt and urgent.

Fleamont took a deep breath after he finished his counting and turned back to James, less red faced now that he had calmed. “Thank you for getting home safely. You won’t apparate again unless it’s urgent right?” he asked.

“I won’t. I wouldn’t have, except it was very urgent,” James said.

“What were you doing in Islington?” Euphemia asked.

James and Sirius looked at each other.

“This is exactly why people are staying home more often now. It’s not safe,” Fleamont told them. “What reason did you have to go to Islington?”

James stared awkwardly at the floor. Sirius glanced at him and then down as well.

“James?” Fleamont prodded. “Why were you in Islington?”

“Can’t say,” James said with a shrug, not meeting his eye.

“That’s near Sirius’s family’s home. What were you doing?” Euphemia asked, this time looking at Sirius who carefully avoided meeting her eyes.

They were all silent for a long moment.

“Whatever it was, it was just a terrible idea. Dangerous. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said, looking downwards.

“I’ll go get potions for the splinching,” Euphemia said, leaving their room.

“You’re both not to leave without one of us with you for the rest of the summer, you understand? We’ll go with you to your friends’ houses, or wherever you want to go. We just don’t want you sneaking off anywhere dangerous. I don’t think that I’m being unreasonable,” Fleamont told them.

“It’s not unreasonable,” James said. He still looked shaken. “Do you think that information will be in the Prophet tomorrow? About the muggle that died?”

“I’m sure there will be,” Fleamont said with a sigh. He patted James’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” James said quietly.

“There should be more people helping. We could help-” Sirius said.

“The aurors are doing their best. You would just make their jobs harder. We’re glad that you’re home safe,” Fleamont told him.

Euphemia stepped back into the room and handed both James and Sirius potions.

“We’ll get you new glasses tomorrow,” Euphemia told James.

“I left my motorbike,” Sirius told them.

“I’ll go pick it up tomorrow. For now, you’ll only be allowed to drive it around the yard though,” Fleamont told him.

Sirius sighed, but decided not to argue with him.

“We’ll talk about this more in the morning,” Fleamont told them.

“Sorry, Dad,” James mumbled.

“Sorry,” Sirius echoed.

Fleamont sighed and headed back towards his room.

“I’ll be there in just a minute,” Euphemia told Fleamont. He nodded and shut the door behind him.

She looked at James— whose hair had managed to grow back in fully— and then Sirius.

“Will you tell me what you were doing in Islington?” she asked them gently.

James and Sirius glanced at each other. They were silent for a moment.

“We just snuck out to try muggle food Sirius was telling me about. It wasn’t worth doing for what we stumbled into,” James said quietly.

“That’s really all?” Euphemia asked skeptically. “Why didn’t you just tell us?”

Sirius shrugged. “It was stupid,” he mumbled.

“Nothing but muggle food?” Euphemia asked, brows furrowed. “No alcohol or drugs? Or secret girlfriends? Or boyfriends?”

Sirius shook his head.

“Just us,” James said softly.

Euphemia frowned and leaned closer, sniffing Sirius’s breath deliberately. Her nose wrinkled. “No alcohol, but my goodness, what were you _eating_?”

“Er, fish and chips,” Sirius said.

Euphemia sighed and looked at both of them with her arms crossed. “I’ll see what I can do with Fleamont. No sense in you both spending the rest of the summer stuck at home over typical boy stuff— even if it was inadvertently very dangerous. You’ll be more cautious won’t you?”

“We will,” James said, looking a little too pale with a bit of sweat at his brow and upper lip.

Euphemia hugged James tightly and sighed. She ruffled his hair and then turned and hugged Sirius as well. “Stay in your rooms and try to get some sleep,” she told them.

“Yes, Mum,” James said quietly.

“We’ll be good Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius told her.

“Please try,” she said softly, standing and heading to the door. She looked much older and more weary than she usually did. “Goodnight.”

“G’night,” James mumbled.

“Night,” Sirius said at the same time.

Once Euphemia was back in her room, James shut the door. He slung his arms around Sirius’s waist, squeezing him tightly.

“You could have _died_.”

“We were doing okay,” Sirius said. “We should have stayed. People were dying,” Sirius said.

James let out a choked sob. “I know. I _saw_ ,” he said. “We’re going to be a part of the Order. We are. I just- I saw that muggle die and-”

“You’re shaking,” Sirius said, realizing that James was quavering as he held onto him. He slid his arms around him tight, patting his back.

“I’ve never seen anyone die before,” James told him.

“I haven’t either,” Sirius said. He couldn’t help but think back to the muggle falling lifeless to the ground.

“Now _you’re_ shaking,” James said.

“I wasn’t thinking about it when it happened,” Sirius said, clutching James tighter.

“Neither was I. It’s just… I’ll get better at it when we’re part of the Order. I just… I just panicked,” James told him, wiping his eyes on Sirius’s blanket.

“I don’t think it’s the sort of thing you can get used to,” Sirius said quietly.

James shook his head. “It’s different seeing it than reading about it in the paper,” he said.

“It is,” Sirius agreed solemnly.

“Let’s lay down,” James said. He pulled away from Sirius, still shaky on his feet. He slipped off his trousers and changed into pyjama bottoms while Sirius did the same.

James whispered _‘nox’_ as they climbed into bed, setting his wand on the bedside table at the same time Sirius’s clacked onto the bedside table on his side of the bed.

Sirius slid closer to James and they both wrapped their arms around each other tightly, too shaken up to say anything. They just wordlessly held each other into the night.


	11. Chapter 11

Three days of being stuck at home had them both on edge, even though Fleamont had relented and decided that they could go out again after a week. A week wasn’t _too_ long.

Sirius was bored, and James tried to keep his mind off of it by catching up with their summer homework. They had both shaken off most of the fear, and settled into the drudgery of homework until they could meet up with Remus and Peter again. If they did all of their Hogwarts homework in the week that they were stuck in the house then they would have plenty of time to do whatever else they wanted when they had a bit more freedom. At least that was James’s logic and Sirius couldn’t find fault in it. Putting it into practice was more challenging.

The summer reading dragged on a couple hours after breakfast, spread across the bed in front of them, and Sirius had lost all interest, merely feigning reading the book in front of him as he leaned on James’s shoulder. The heat of the summer seemed to penetrate the Potter home and made it even harder to concentrate.  
  
“Hey Sirius?” James said after a moment, seeming to realize that he had stopped focusing long ago. “Do you want to do something else?”

“There’s only so many times we can fly around your backyard Prongs,” Sirius said, but then he looked up hopefully. “What did you have in mind?”

James shut the textbooks and set them on the bedside table. He grinned. “Not Quidditch,” he told him. He took off his new pair of glasses and set them on top of the pile of the books.

“Snogging is better than Quidditch,” Sirius agreed, scooting closer to him on the bed. He shut his eyes as their lips pressed together. James enveloped him in his arms.

This was going to be far more fun than homework even if it was ill advised to be snogging during the day rather than in the relative secrecy of the night. He parted his lips when he felt James’s tongue seeking his. It was risky, but almost an adventure in its own right.

He wrapped his arms around James, fingers brushing along the back of his neck and through messy hair. He made a soft noise in the back of his throat when James tugged him closer against him, hands on his backside. James’s lips tugged into a grin against his and Sirius just kissed him harder. He liked the firmness of James’s hands, and the proximity made his mind drift to far more than snogging.

When James hitched up the back of his t-shirt and ran calloused fingertips along the small of his back, Sirius struggled to hold back any noise. His fingertips slipping just below the waistline of his trousers and just along the top of his backside made it nearly impossible. He gasped a little too loudly when James teasingly brushed a little lower.

“We have to be quiet. We can be quiet, can’t we?” James asked, mischief and excitement in his eyes and with an unconstrained grin that seemed like almost a challenge.

“Depends on what we’re doing,” Sirius whispered. He wasn’t sure that he could stay quiet enough. However, he wasn’t about to turn him down; other than the first time, James hadn’t paid as much attention to his backside as this (beyond looking- Sirius caught him looking on more than one occasion) and it was nice. They had quietly and secretly tossed each other off on nights that they were both feeling bold or needy enough, but this was all still new. That was still more rushed and furtive.

“We can make any noises a little less obvious,” James suggested.

Sirius raised an eyebrow

James wordlessly glanced at Sirius’s record player.

Sirius caught on immediately and licked his lips. “Of course,” he said. “One second.”

He waved his wand and switched the record player on, letting the music play loud enough that he hoped it would cover noises that they _did_ make without being so loud as to annoy James’s parents enough to have them come upstairs and ask them to shut it off.

Sirius ran one of his hands down between them, fingers tracing along the outline of James’s length through the fabric of his trousers.

James licked his lips and shifted, pressing soundlessly to Sirius’s touches. He was warm beneath his fingertips, and Sirius still couldn’t quite shake the idea that they were doing something that they weren’t supposed to, although he tried to ignore that thought.  James kept touching him lightly, just at the top of his backside and it made him ache for more. He bit back another soft noise, and focused his attention on James’s cock again, still teasing him through the fabric.

He made a quiet noise of frustration then and undid his trousers, tugging them down and exposing his already half hard cock.

Sirius curled his fingers around him before James would have to awkwardly ask. They were still struggling to voice or even find words for what they wanted at times.

“I like your prick,” Sirius mumbled as he leaned in to kiss James’s neck.  
  
“Yeah?” James asked, looking directly at him as he thrust up into Sirius’s hand.   
  
“I like it a lot,” Sirius told him, not meeting his eyes even though James tried for eye contact.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a bit. Would you- would you suck me off again?” James asked haltingly.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, grinning sheepishly and looking at him directly that time.

“I still can’t believe that you just let me stick my prick in your mouth,” James told him. Even if the way he said it was inelegant, Sirius completely understood the sentiment.

“I can’t believe you like having me do it,” Sirius countered. Even if James was still almost disbelieving that he’d want to suck him off, Sirius had nearly the same level of astonishment that James would just _let_ _him do it_. He eased down and settled in comfortably between James’s legs. He tugged James’s trousers and pants down a little lower tongued gently along the underside of James’s cock as he gripped it.

“This is so much better than wanking,” James whispered as he pressed to Sirius’s tongue.

“I’m good at it, then?” Sirius asked, brushing his lips over the tip and taking him into his mouth.

“Ahh- yes. Very good at it and getting better at it too,” James told him. He reached down and moved Sirius’s hair out of the way for him, holding it back for him.  
  
He shuddered when Sirius sucked more of his cock into his mouth. “I swear, if we didn’t have to eat lunch and dinner and if I could get it up often enough I would just be begging you to just keep my prick in your mouth all day,” James rambled.

“Mhm,” Sirius managed to hum around him, cheeks red at the thought. He felt a tug at his hair as James’s grip tightened.  
  
James breathed more heavily, thrusting up into Sirius’s mouth as far as he would let him. Sirius looked up at him and James groaned.   
  
“Just like that,” James whispered.   
  
Sirius kept sucking at James’s cock, focused on the warm length and the way James’s breath caught when he did something that he particularly liked. James was quiet now aside from the ragged breathing— mindful enough that they could get caught to avoid completely losing himself in the pleasure.   
  
When James’s eyes shut and he tilted his head back Sirius knew that he was close. He sucked steadily as James thrust up into his mouth with far less finesse.   
  
James gasped softly and grunted. A second later Sirius swallowed his release and slowly gentled his sucking.   
  
His hair fell back around his face and James rubbed clumsy lazy patterns along Sirius’s cheek and jaw.   
  
After a moment Sirius eased James’s cock out of his mouth and sat back, just watching James catch his breath.   
  
He couldn’t help but feel smug over the satisfied look lingering on his face.   
  
Sirius tugged down his own trousers. “Do me?” he asked, while he was still feeling brave enough to voice it.   
  
“Give me a minute,” James said, his breathing still coming a little raggedly.   
  
He tugged his pants the rest if the way off and slid close, pressing their lips together. “Would you really have me suck you off all day?” Sirius asked.   
  
“Ah- probably. At least as much as you wanted to anyway,” James admitted.   
  
“I could,” Sirius told him.   
  
“I don’t know if I can get it up again,” James said with a nervous laugh, embarrassed.   
  
“We can find out,” Sirius told him, pressing him gently to the bed. He turned and shifted so that his hips were over James’s face as he undid his trousers again.   
  
“Erm- you’ve got your bollocks on my nose,” James told him.   
  
“Sorry,” Sirius said, before shifting again, this time letting his cock rest against James’s mouth, although he suspected that his balls were still in close proximity to James’s nose.   
  
James awkwardly grasped it in his hand, holding it to the side. “They’re still on my nose-“   
  
“Do you want to be on top then? I think there’s not much that can be done about it. You could return the favor you know,” Sirius prodded him since James didn’t seem to be getting the hint. He licked softly at the length of James’s cock. “I figure that if we stay like this we can keep busy until at least lunch time taking turns.”   
  
James was quiet for a moment, then Sirius felt his lips kissing their way along his length. “I like your prick too,” he told Sirius, echoing his earlier comment.

He whimpered softly at the ease of his words and the licks James pressed against the tip.

“Have to be quiet,” James reminded him.  
  
“Right,” Sirius said. He wrapped his lips around silky smooth skin again, sucking softly.   
  
“Do you want fingers or anything inside?” James asked after a few moments of them both sucking quietly.

Sirius slipped him from his lips again. “I didn’t get time to prepare,” he said, wishing that he had.

“Prepare?” James asked.  
  
“It’s not clean enough,” Sirius told him and then took an impressive amount of James’s mostly soft cock into his mouth, hoping to distract him enough to avoid the conversation.   
  
James grunted and cursed. “That’s not a ‘no,’” he pointed out after regaining coherent thought. “What if I stick to the outside and just wash my hands extra well before lunch?”

“I- I’d like that,” Sirius told him quietly, before going back to licking and sucking. Of course James took that news in stride, just like he did most things. James’s confidence was genuine, whereas Sirius’s was at least half faked.

“I thought so,” James told him. “Shouldn’t you have a spell for that? Cleaning?”

“I’m not going to go looking for books for that sort of thing- not where anyone knows me. They don’t put _that_ in standard books. I’m fine with the muggle way of— _oh_.”

Sirius shivered as James’s fingers traced lightly over his skin, dipping between his cheeks. He pressed back a little when they brushed his opening, but shifted forward again at the feeling of James’s tongue circling the head of his cock.

As much as people called them a double act, inseparable, or like brothers, no one could truly understand how close they were— and still wouldn’t understand if they knew that they were _nothing_ like brothers. They could practically be the same person sometimes, and even if James had said that this was better than wanking, it was certainly an extenuation of it with the pair of them tucked closer than close, each other’s cocks in their mouths. He couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone but James. They were so focused on pleasure that Sirius would almost feel guilty for using James’s mouth in this way— except James was eagerly doing the same thing.

He whimpered and pressed gently into the wet heat of James’s mouth. He focused more on his own somewhat clumsy sucking motions to keep from making noise, but knew he wasn’t sucking very consistently. He kept getting distracted by particularly nice sweeps of James’s tongue.  
  
James rubbed at his opening, although he kept his touches light. He felt the tug of skin as James sucked harder and he pressed himself deeper into the sensation.   
  
A soft disgruntled gagging noise came from between his legs and the sensation was mildly uncomfortable for a moment. James wrapped his hand around the base of his cock to keep him from getting too deep again.   
  
“Sorry,” Sirius quickly apologized, lifting his mouth up off of James to speak.   
  
James made an affable noise around him and sucked at him again.   
  
Sirius wrapped his lips back around the tip of James’s cock, running his tongue along the head.

Fingers circled his opening teasingly, and he considered begging James to fill him regardless of cleanliness, but then James did something different with his tongue that made Sirius gasp. He shuddered and tried to keep his hips still, even with the need to thrust and feel more of the wet sucking heat latched tightly around his cock.

He pressed as deeply as James would let him, and James seemed to read his mind because he managed to suck harder, keeping his pace steady. 

Sirius grasped at the sheets, James’s cock slipping from his mouth. He gasped sharply and grabbed at the quilt on James’s bed, just on the edge of bliss. He clutched at the bedding tighter, clenching his teeth together to keep from making sounds beyond a grunting noise as he thrust quickly into James’s mouth and hand as he spilled his release.   
  
James kept his cock enveloped in the wet heat for a moment while Sirius calmed before sliding it out and rolling to the side just enough to spit onto the sheets.   
  
He lay limply on James for a moment, breathing heavily and resting.

“This was a brilliant idea, Padfoot. Did you know that you’re brilliant?” James said.

“I didn’t invent it or anything,” Sirius reminded him. “I know how much you like getting sucked off.”

“Yeah, but you’re still brilliant,” James told him.

Sirius laughed. He felt a gentle nudge of James’s cock against his cheek and smiled when he realized that his best friend was hard again. Sirius wrapped his lips back around it, inwardly pleased at the groan James made in response.

__________________________________________________________________________  
  
It was two days later before James decided that he would have to resume practice flying or he would get rusty. Neither of them had managed to do anything productive, and Sirius was certain that the only real reason James was back to practicing flying was that they had both discovered that chafing could become an uncomfortable problem.   
  
Sirius rested on the ground, smiling up at the skies as James zoomed around. He didn’t think that there was anyone that flew like James. It was effortless and almost elegant the way he soared through the air.   
  
James dove down straight toward him, and if Sirius had any doubts about James’s flying abilities he woh have flinched or rolled out of the way. Instead he watched and then blinked in surprise as lips pressed to his, with James hanging half off of his broom.   
  
“What are you thinking about Padfoot?” James asked with a grin.   
  
“Just watching you fly,” Sirius told him sincerely. “I love watching you fly.”   
  
James grinned. “I’m the best,” he said.   
  
“Cocky,” Sirius told him.   
  
“It’s not cocky if it’s true,” James told him.   
  
“You’re still cocky about it even though it is true,” Sirius said.   
  
“You just admitted that I am the best,” James said, smirking.   
  
“I would never deny it,” Sirius said.   
  
“Want to go get another broom? Or your skateboard?” James asked.   
  
Sirius shook his head. “I just want to watch you for a bit,” he said. He leaned up and kissed James’s lips softly.   
  
James hummed. “Suit yourself,” he said against his lips.   
  
James had whizzed away before Sirius could get in another word and he was left watching the skies again.   
  
Sirius watched him zip around in loops in the sky before diving back down to his side again to peck his lips and go on his way again.

When it started getting late, James put his broom away and they sat outside together, arms slung around each other as they watched the sunset.

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

James woke up in the night, feeling a little chilled. It took him a moment to realize that he was sleeping alone. He grabbed his wand, and turned on the light, but Sirius was nowhere to be found in his room.

He got up out of bed, even though he wanted to just go back to sleep and checked the bathroom, then Sirius’s room. He frowned and crept quietly through his house, wand illuminating the way. He headed downstairs and was relieved to see a light in the kitchen.

When he got to the kitchen though, the relief faded.

The kitchen was a mess, all of the cupboards open and tore through in a sort of disaster.

“We’re supposed to behaving. Are you playing another prank on Mum?” James asked in an urgent whisper.

Sirius looked up at him from where he was seated on the kitchen floor. His eyes were red–– and he would deny that he’d been crying. He wrapped his arms around his legs, curling in on himself. “No,” he said.

“Then what’s all this?” James asked, gesturing at it helplessly.

“I was looking for firewhiskey. Or rum. Or something. Anything. Your mum’s gotten rid of it all hasn’t she?” Sirius asked.

James groaned. “Why?” he asked, trying not to sound frustrated as he started putting the cupboards right.

“I keep thinking about what happened in Islington and don’t want to think about it. I don’t think about it in the daytime,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Yeah. I think about it too much too,” James said, putting more of the kitchen right. “Help me clean up. We don’t want Mum to find this in the morning.”

Sirius sighed, but slowly stood, putting some of the cupboards back in order. “Had a nightmare about it,” he mumbled.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” James asked.

“Dunno. You’d want to talk about it, I guess. I don’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to think about it,” Sirius said. “It was this or change into Padfoot.”

“Well, you’re not drinking,” James told him, putting cups away. “Did you really think they’d hide alcohol with teacups?”

Sirius shrugged.

James frowned and kept putting things away. He looked back curiously when he felt Sirius’s arms go around his waist from behind. Sirius rested his chin on James’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to go back to bed,” Sirius mumbled.

“We don’t have to,” James said. He finished cleaning up the kitchen. He slipped his hand into Sirius’s, and shut the lights off in the kitchen. He turned on the muggle television set that they had, and put it on a low volume.

James sat down and Sirius settled next to him, tucking close.

“Don’t think about it. It’s better if we don’t think about it for now,” James said quietly.

Sirius nodded. “I like telly. Muggles are so odd,” he said.

“It is neat,” James said quietly. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. I love you too, Prongs,” Sirius told him.

“Then let me love you,” James whispered. “Let yourself be loved. You could have woken me up tonight, and I would have tried to help.”

Sirius swallowed and nodded. He felt his eyes water, and he let out a small choked noise before James hugged him tightly.

“I really love you, Padfoot. So much,” James whispered.

He made a noise of assent and hugged James tighter.

They stayed snuggled close in each other’s arms, watching the strange world of muggle television well into the night, more amused by the novelty of it than the quality of the programing. They eventually dozed off together there on the sofa, laying against each other.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the week passed without incident. James and Sirius immediately headed over to Remus’s once they were allowed out of the house.

“As soon as Peter gets here, we can figure out the plan from there,” Remus told them. “Tell me more about the Death Eaters you ran into.”

James awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervous. “We’ve been trying not to think about it, honestly. It was really dangerous,” he said.

“I’d gathered that from your letter,” Remus said. “If we’re all going to be members of the Order of the Phoenix, we’re going to have to learn about them. What exactly happened?”

“Well, we were out for a date in Islington and heard an explosion-“ Sirius started. He had more bravado about it when he was focused on a cause than thinking about the danger.

“Let’s wait until Peter gets here,” James interrupted, standing stiffly in discomfort. “I don’t want to go through it twice. I don’t like thinking about it.”

Sirius frowned at that. Occasionally James looked far more serious and wise beyond his years, and this was one of those moments. James seemed to shoulder the heavy weight of the danger and had an almost prescient concern about death, dealing with it differently than Sirius did.

He reached out and gently took James’s hand in his own, getting a squeeze in return.

“We’ll wait until Peter gets here then,” Remus said softly.

Peter opened Remus’s bedroom door a second later. “Oh good, your mum said that you were probably all up here,” he said.

"Good timing," Remus said.

Sirius had instinctively pulled his hand away from James’s, but James gently took it again, in spite of Peter’s curious looks.

“Come sit down. James and Sirius were just about to tell us about the Death Eaters that they ran into,” Remus told him.

Sirius launched into the story with James squeezing his hand tightly through it.

“You could have almost died,” Peter said with wide fearful eyes as he finished.

“We didn’t though,” Sirius said.

“Only because you were lucky and James managed underage apparation to get you out of there,” Remus said quietly.

James slung an arm about Sirius’s waist protectively. “We’ll be better wizards once we’re old enough to join the Order. We’ll practice,” he said.

“We’ll all work hard,” Remus agreed.

Peter looked nervous about it, but nodded in agreement.

“So, what’s the plan for looking for the Hopping Pot today?” Sirius asked.

“You and James are going to take Peter on the motorbike. He can ride along as a rat. They live in London near the Ministry, so you’ll have to blend in with the muggles. You can drop Peter off out front so that no one is too suspicious of you- everyone around the Ministry is looking put for any odd behavior lately,” Remus said.

“What happens then?” Peter asked.

“I’ll Floo to London, you’ll have a couple hours to look around. We don’t want to be out after dark and we need to plan around my dad’s work schedule since he works at the Ministry too. He gets back from lunch at one o’clock most days, but sometimes it can be later than that. He leaves work at five o'clock, but sometimes earlier or later,” Remus explained.

“So, er,” Peter said.

“We’re keeping it at two hours exactly so that we know when to pick you up. You’ll have to watch the clock as you're searching,” Remus said. “I’ll come pick you up, that way no one sees any of us at the Bones family home for too long.”

“Do we just come back here after we drop Peter off then?” James asked.

“No, we want to all be close in case something goes wrong. We’re going to meet up at this restaurant,” Remus said. He grabbed a pen and scrawled out a restaurant name and directions. He handed a copy of the bit of parchment to each of them.

Remus glanced at the clock. “You should get going,” he said. “Good luck.

“Thank you,” Peter said, looking a bit nervous.

Remus smiled. “You’ll do great. You’ve really got the information about the Hopping Pot down. If it’s there, you’ll find it. If you can’t cover searching everywhere in the house, we’ll go back another day,” he said.

“Let’s go,” James said, standing and heading towards the door.

Remus went to take the Floo, while James, Sirius, and Peter went to the door.

“Where are you all going?” Remus’s mother asked them curiously. “Don’t you all usually ride the fireplace transportation together?

“We’re going out to eat, Mum. We’ll be back soon. Sirius just wants to show off that flying motorbike of his,” Remus assured her. “I’m a bit too nervous to fly on it, so I’m taking the fireplace.”

“Oh. I suppose that’s sensible,” Hope said. She still looked uncertain about whether the fireplace or a flying motorbike would be more dangerous, but all that she could do was trust Remus’s judgment. “Have fun.”

“We’ll be back before Dad gets home,” Remus told her.

Sirius headed out the door and they all went to the motorbike.

“Okay, you can turn into a rat and ride in James’s pocket,” Sirius told Peter.

Peter groaned but did as he was told.

James carefully picked Peter up and eased him into his robe pocket.

Sirius climbed onto the motorbike and James got on behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

He started the engine and drove off into the sky with James leaning forward and giving him directions as they went.

They parked a ways from the Bones’s house and climbed off of the motorbike. Sirius stuffed his keys in his pockets.

“This way,” James said, leading the way. "This is the house.

He took Peter out of his pocket and discreetly put him on the ground while pretending to tie his shoes.

“We’ll wait for you out here,” Sirius told him.

Peter made a disgruntled squeaking noise, but hurried into the stately old house.

James turned and walked back towards the motorbike parked down the road.

“D’you think we’re a bit selfish making Peter look for the Hopping Pot by himself?” Sirius asked.

James shook his head. “Nah. He’s glad to help I’m sure,” he said. “Besides, we looked two different places already for it. Remus has done most of the research too.”

Sirius nodded. He climbed up onto the motorbike when they reached it, smiling a little when James’s arms slipped around his waist. He glanced at the paper that Remus had given them, and started the engine, driving to meet Remus at the restaurant.

They found a parking spot and hopped off of the motorbike, heading inside of the restaurant.

Remus waved at them from a booth.

James and Sirius headed over and sat down across from him.

“I’ve already ordered for us all,” Remus told them. “I just got some of the usual stuff– I hope it’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” James said.

Remus nodded and shifted a little, looking between them. “I was wondering… I know you mentioned joining the Order after school,” he said quietly. “But, were you planning on working normal jobs as well?”

“Not really,” James said. “I thought about being an auror, but they’re all a bit off too right now aren’t they? The Ministry isn’t exactly…”

“Oh,” Remus said quietly. He frowned. “What about you?”

“Me?” Sirius asked. “No, just the Order. I can’t picture doing anything else.”

Remus pursed his lips. “Well… how exactly were you planning on supporting yourself?”

“Er… I was planning on marrying rich,” Sirius said with a laugh, realizing it was true even if it was a joke. He glanced at James.

“Good plan,” James said brightly. “Really, Remus, what has you worried about it?”

Remus was quiet for a moment while the waitress brought out their food, thanking her before she headed back to the restaurant kitchen.

“Well, I know that before you said that we would all join the Order,” Remus said hesitantly. “I know that it’s a good idea, since I wouldn’t be able to join the Ministry at all, but have either of you considered real jobs after school?”

James frowned. “We don’t need to,” he said. “We have more important things to be concerned about, what with You-Know-Who.”

“I just…” Remus said uncomfortably, looking downwards. “My parents can’t support me after school, and I know that you’re going to take care of Padfoot. It’s great, and I’m happy for you– I am. It’s just… I’m worried about getting hired as a werewolf.”

“Moony, we’re not going to let you struggle,” Sirius said with conviction before looking at James. “Right Prongs?”

“My family has plenty of money,” James said, nodding. “You won’t have to work either. We’ll all work for the Order. I’m sure we’ll all get jobs afterwards, but there’s really enough money that we’ll all be okay even if we don’t.”

Remus sighed with relief.

“Even if I’m dating Padfoot, I do care about you and Peter too. You’re my best friends,” James told him.

“Thanks, Prongs,” Remus said brightly. He looked considerably less stressed.

Sirius had sat up and was attentive like a dog, listening to an entirely different conversation not far from them.

“James, Remus,” he said, nodding towards the discussion.

“-break in at the Longbottom home…”

“...everyone okay?”

“No one was hurt. Just things were stolen…”

“-no idea why… or who the thief was.”

“Shit,” James said.

“Hope no one took any cauldrons,” Sirius said with a groan.

James leaned over, still listening. Remus looked worried.

“-heard that it was dark wizards…”

“Death Eaters?”

“Heard it might be related to He Who Must Not be Named.”

“-really? The Longbottoms? What would they have that You-Know-Who might want?”

“No idea… lucky everyone is okay.”

“Well, they’ve already had losses after all…”

The waitress came back over to their table. “Does everything taste okay?” she asked.

“It’s great,” James said. “Thank you.”

“Enjoy,” she told them.

Sirius scrunched up his nose with distaste when he realized that the conversation topic had changed.

“It’s going to be nightmare trying to find the Hopping Pot now,” James said with a groan. “If it’s not with the Bones family, that is.”

“We’ll just have to branch out- start with all of my relatives’ homes,” Sirius said sourly.

“Does anyone have a problem with the Longbottoms? Any Death Eaters, I mean?” James asked, heading into Honeydukes.

“Plenty I’m sure… My cousin hates them. There’s so many,” Sirius said.

“Hopefully Peter finds it today,” Remus said quietly.

“What could they have been after?” James wondered.

“Who knows?” Sirius said. “It’s strange though– they’re a pureblood family.”

“Very strange,” James agreed.

They grew quiet for a while, just eating their meals with lighter conversation to keep their minds off of the seriousness of what they’d overheard. James insisted on ordering dessert and paying for their meal as well. They sipped at their drinks for a while until Remus finally stood.

“I’m going to head out now– it takes longer to walk to the house than to ride your motorbike,” he told them.

“We’ll be here,” James said, nodding.

Remus headed out the door, leaving them in the booth alone.

“Did you mean it when you said that marrying rich is a good idea?” Sirius asked James after Remus had left, looking over at him.

“Of course. We’ll get married after school- and after I’ve told Mum about us,” James said quietly.

“You want to marry me?” Sirius asked curiously. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised, but he still was.

“As soon as you let me tell Mum about us, and we’re out of school, of course. We’ll do it right away if you want to- since then if you get hurt or something with the Order I’ll be the one they contact instead of your Mum,” James said.

“I didn’t think about that,” Sirius said. He had purposely avoided thinking about that issue. It was too involved and too nerve-wracking. It was easier to believe that everything would go smoothly or that he would die fighting rather than something more messy.

“I have thought about it a lot,” James said, sliding an arm around his shoulders..

“So… it is practical,” Sirius said hesitantly.

“Yeah. Not just practical though– I love you. You want to right? Get married, I mean?” James asked nervously.

“I think so. You really want to be with me forever?” Sirius asked.

“Absolutely,” James told him.

“Is this a proposal then?” Sirius asked.

“Well, not exactly. Not officially. We’ll do something special for it,” James said. He shifted and held Sirius tighter. “Would you say yes? If I asked?”

“I would,” Sirius said with a smile.

“I’ll make you Mr. Potter someday, then,” James told him with a smile so loving that it caught Sirius off guard.

Sirius laughed, smiling widely. “Better than my last name. Still makes me think of your dad though,” he said.

“Mssr. Prongs, then?” James teased.

“Mssr. Padfoot-Prongs,” Sirius countered.

“Mssrs. James and Sirius Padfoot-Prongs,” James said with a snort.

Sirius laughed and took a few more sips of his drink.

James glanced around before lightly kissing Sirius’s cheek discreetly.

His face reddened. “I could live with Mr. Potter though,” Sirius said quietly after a moment.

“Well then, you’re the future Mr. Potter,” James said with a grin.

Sirius grinned.

“I could propose properly if you let me tell Mum you know,” James told him. “I know you’re worried about them asking you to leave, but they’re not going to and they _definitely_ wouldn’t make you leave if we were engaged.”

Sirius shook his head. “Not yet,” he said quickly. “I’m still…”

“Still nervous. S’fine,” James said, squeezing his shoulder gently. “Sometimes I’m a little nervous too– just with Dad. He’s fine with you. But it’s… it’s different when it’s your actual son.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said dryly.

“Sorry,” James said. “I’m not _that_ nervous though. I really want to tell Mum when you’re ready.”

“Sorry,” Sirius mumbled.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” James assured him. Then he leaned in and whispered a quiet ‘ _I love you_ ’ that was more breath than formed words in Sirius’s ear.

“Love you too,” Sirius whispered.

James smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder again.

“I’ll write Uncle Alphard a letter and see what he says about my liking blokes. If he was all right with it, then he’d probably take me in if your parents were upset about it,” he said.

A moment later Remus and Peter plopped down into the booth in front of them.

“Any luck?” Sirius asked hopefully.

“No- and I looked everywhere. I found out that Edgar Bones is a member of the Order of the Phoenix though,” Peter said.

“Damn. Well, we’ll check the Longbottom’s home next time,” James said. “And if it’s not there, then we’ll check a few other places.”

“I’m really tired. Can we head back yet?” Peter asked with a yawn.

“Of course,” James said.

“I’ll meet you at home,” Remus said.

“We’ll see you there,” Sirius said before getting up.


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius and James both jumped when a pillow fell on top of their faces. James removed it and looked upwards, seeing four walls of pillows surrounding the makeshift bed they were curled up in while staying in Remus’s room.

“Oops. I’m sorry,” Remus said, and he looked so genuinely apologetic about it that they could _almost_ ignore the fact that he was complicit in building a three foot tall pillow fort with Peter’s help around their mattress.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked, looking up at them groggily. James’s hair was sticking up worse than usual and he still looked half asleep.

“We were bored and Sirius was snoring,” Peter said.

“I don’t snore,” Sirius said.

“At least not much,” James agreed. “He’s too handsome to snore.”

“It was Peter’s idea,” Remus said with a smile and shrug.

“It’s not a good prank,” Sirius said flatly.

“Really? I thought that it would be funny- y’know, just to wake up and be surrounded by pillows. It would have been more impressive if Remus hadn’t dropped the pillow on you before we got it as tall as we wanted it though,” Peter said.

“It would have been funny to wake up to,” James admitted with a grin.

“It does give us privacy for snogging,” Sirius said, teasing them. His face brightened.

“Last night you said that you wouldn’t snog each other with either one of us in the room!” Peter protested, eyes wide. “You said that neither one of you would snog a girl without privacy, so you weren’t going to snog each other.”

“That was before you built us a pillow fort for privacy. I’m going to thoroughly snog Padfoot now,” James teased.

Much to Sirius’s embarrassment, he did lean over and pepper kisses over his cheeks.

“No snogging!” Peter squeaked, covering his eyes.

“They're not snogging,” Remus told him. “Not really— look.”

Peter peeked between his fingers, looking down to see James still peppering kisses over Sirius’s red cheeks. Sirius looked up at both Remus and Peter, his face wide-eyed and nervous, still worried that they would think that he was shameful even if James didn’t.

“Oh, that’s fine then,” Peter said, even if he was looking at them a bit oddly as if they were a curiosity.

Sirius smiled at that, relieved. In the back of his mind he knew that it could have gone over poorly- it would have gone over poorly if it were his actual brother in the room rather than his two best friends that were like brothers. 

He pressed a kiss to James’s lips softly, smiling against his lips when he returned the kiss.

“That’s a lot closer to snogging,” Peter said.

“It is,” Remus said sagely, able to conceal most of the teasing in his voice.

“It is not!” James said  with a laugh, lips still close to Sirius’s.

“It’s definitely close to snogging,” Peter agreed with a laugh.

“You know what that means right?” Remus asked them.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“We have to do it,” Remus told him.

“Do what?” James asked.

“We must,” Peter agreed.

Remus and Peter exchanged a glance before simultaneously knocking the pile of pillows over onto Sirius and James.

“Arse! Both of you!” James said while laughing.

“Gits,” Sirius said, knocking pillows out of the way to get up.

There was a knock at the door and Hope Lupin stuck her head inside. “Breakfast is ready,” she said, looking at James and Sirius climbing out of the pillow mess quizzically.

“We’ll be right down, Mum,” Remus told her.

Hope looked at them all for a moment longer before nodding and shutting the door as she left.

“Y’know, we’re going to get caught actually snogging someday if we’re not careful,” James told Sirius.

“You’re the one that was kissing me,” Sirius reminded him. “We’re careful.”

“I think that we should still tell my mum. That was a close call,” he said.

“Not yet,” Sirius insisted.

“Think about it? If we don’t tell her, she might accidentally find out and we really ought to tell her on our own terms,” James said.

“I’ll think about it,” Sirius conceded.

“If James’s mum kicks you out, you can stay with me,” Peter told him.

Sirius couldn’t help the sting of hurt he felt from those words. “Thanks Peter,” he said, voice sounding decidedly off and creaky.

James gave Sirius’s hand a gentle quick squeeze.

“I’m sure it will be okay,” Remus said, reassuringly.

“Let’s just go have breakfast,” Sirius said, slipping his hand from James’s and heading downstairs. 

“I should write Frank and see if we can go over to his house soon,” James said, changing the subject.

“You should. We don’t have that much of a summer left,” Remus reminded him.

“Don’t say that,” Peter complained. “I haven’t finished my essay for McGonagall. It’s a long one too.”

“We haven’t finished ours either,” James said, walking over and sitting at the breakfast table. “You’ll get it done.”

“It’s basic transfiguration work- mostly a review. It should be easy,” Sirius said, sitting down next to James.

“It’s not that easy,” Peter protested, grabbing a slice of toast.

“It’s easy enough. I’ve looked at it,” Sirius said airily as he grabbed the orange juice.

“You haven’t started?” Peter asked, looking genuinely concerned.

“We’ve started. We’re only just a couple pages in though,” James said.

“I thought that part of our plan was to have our homework finished so that we could focus on the Hopping Pot,” Remus said.

“Er, well, we got distracted,” Sirius said.

“With _what_? You’ve been grounded for a week,” Remus said exasperatedly.

James and Sirius looked at each other and laughed; both of their cheeks were tinged with pink.

“Right,” Remus said in matter-of-fact tone. “Work on finishing your homework when you get back home. We haven’t got a lot of time to find the Hopping Pot.”

“We will,” James reassured him. “We promise.”

“As soon as you get home you should work on the homework and send Frank the letter,” Remus said. 

“We will,” Sirius echoed James’s reassurance.

“Good,” Remus said, taking a few more bites of his breakfast.

_____________________________________

Even though they had steadily been working on their Transfiguration essays, both James and Sirius were prone to distraction.  They’d each managed to get ten feet into their essay, which was  _ significant _ progress in Sirius’s opinion.

He wasn’t sure which one of them had started it- or if it had been either of them specifically rather than a mutual decision with a shared meaningful glance.

All he knew was that they had managed to end up all tangled limbs, friction, tongue, and  _ teeth _ on top of James’s bed. 

James was breathing heavily just below his ear as he rutted up against him. Sirius grinned, tilting his head back to give James better access to his neck. He let out a pleased groan as James nibbled and sucked at his skin, more teeth than usual. They had their trousers undone and their cocks brushed together with each thrust of James’s hips. It was dizzying having James on top of him, enough so that when James bit down at his neck it didn’t hurt at all and just made him rock his hips up desperately for more friction.

There was a knock at the door and they both went completely still, frozen in place as if they just had ice water poured on them. James had never looked more like his animagus form in his life— stock still like a deer that had just been spotted.

James’s mother’s voice was muffled through the door. “Lunch is ready,” she told them.

They both stayed silent, although James righted himself and tried to catch his breath. He quickly did up his trousers.

“Did you hear me?” Euphemia asked, rattling the locked doorknob. “Lunch is ready.”

“Be right down,” James said. Sirius was relieved that he sounded normal— at least he thought so— and not breathless like he had moments before. “Thanks!”

There was quiet for a second before they heard Euphemia’s footsteps moving away and back downstairs.

“That was close,” Sirius said quietly, quickly doing up his trousers.

“Too close,” James admitted, raking his fingers through his hair nervously and pacing the room. “Too close.”

“Shit,” Sirius cursed.

“We’re fine,” James said then, stopping his pacing abruptly as if just realizing that he needed to be the calm one.

“We should be fine. You sounded normal,” Sirius said. “She didn’t hear us.”

“Let’s go before Mum  _ does _ get suspicious,” James said.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. He followed James down the stairs.

When they got downstairs, James saw his owl at the window and let him inside. It swooped in and landed, delivering the letter,

“Oh this must be from Frank,” he said as they went over to the table.

“I do need to visit Augusta again,” Euphemia remarked.

“We’re going over this weekend,” James said brightly after reading over the letter. “You can come with us if you’d like. It would be Sirius, Remus, Peter, and me.”

“That sounds lovely,” Euphemia said, setting out their plates with sandwiches.

“Do you want to come along too, Dad?” James asked as he sat down at the table next to Sirius. Having Augusta preoccupied with his parents would give them more time to search the house with Frank.

“You all go ahead. I was going to go to the fourth annual hair potion conference this weekend,” Fleamont told him before thanking Euphemia for his lunch.

“Shame it’s this weekend! I could go with you. They’d be appalled that you let me leave the house with my hair,” James teased, purposely messing up his own hair more.

“I think they’d take it as a testament of how nice my Sleekeazy works,” Fleamont told him. 

“It’s old fashioned,” James said.

“It is not. Sirius uses it, don’t you?” Euphemia asked.

“Yeah, Prongs, we can’t all pull off the windblown look,” Sirius teased, tossing his hair.

Fleamont got a peculiar look on his face just then and his eyebrows drew together. “Sirius, what’s that on your neck?” he asked.

“What?” Sirius asked, hand going to his neck. His cheeks reddened as he realized what he and James had been doing shortly before coming down for lunch. He hadn’t used any muggle cosmetics to cover up any marks this time.

“Oh, I fell off of James’s broom,” he belatedly lied.

James looked down at his plate, trying to aim for a calm and collected demeanor, but failing.

“No, that’s definitely a lovebite,” Fleamont commented. “Didn’t know that you had a- erm, boyfriend?”

“Don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius mumbled, picking at his sandwich.

“Is he treating you right?” Fleamont asked.

“Fleamont,” Euphemia said lightly.

“It’s a worthwhile question! I’d ask it if he were seeing a girl instead too. I suspect you’ve been given a talking to about such things already, right?”

Sirius widened his eyes dramatically. “Only second or third cousins- no first cousins and not until after marriage?” he joked.

Euphemia covered her mouth to keep from laughing at that. James snorted. 

“I think that we can amend that to absolutely _ no  _ cousins and not until after school at least,” Fleamont said. “For now, tell him to keep his hands above the belt at all times. Understood?”

“Understood,” Sirius said, mostly because the conversation was incredibly uncomfortable. He had to look away when James mouthed a  _ ‘bit too late for that’ _ at him. 

He was thankful that both Euphemia and Fleamont missed it— James was one of the best at being sneaky. However, Euphemia was rubbing at her head as if she had a headache.

“Is it one of your friends at school?” Fleamont asked, recalling the incident with the Quidditch player. “No one older than you right?”

“He’s my age. He’s great,” Sirius mumbled.

“Good to hear,” Fleamont remarked. “What about you James? Having any luck with that girl that you liked? Lily?”

“She’s er, not interested,” James said lightly.

“That’s a shame. She doesn’t know what she’s missing,” Fleamont commented.

Euphemia kept rubbing at her temples for a moment before smiling at Sirius so widely that it startled him. “I am really very happy for you Sirius. Very happy,” she told him.

“Er, thanks,” Sirius said, baffled by the response.

Euphemia stood then and went over, hugging him tight enough that it was a struggle to breathe for a second. The entire interaction felt bizarre or misdirected somehow, but it was oddly comforting to feel supported.

“Really, thanks Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said, awkwardly patting her back.

“Don’t be afraid to tell us about this sort of thing, please?” she said, ruffling his hair the same way she did James’s.

“Er, I won’t,” he said, still baffled.

“Good. You can tell us more about him when you feel comfortable. Take your time,” Euphemia said, before sitting back down again.

James looked overly fixated on his sandwich.

“Thanks,” Sirius said awkwardly again.

“Well, I’m off,” Fleamont said as he finished his sandwich. “I’m running to Diagon Alley. There’s no more Asphodel in the cupboards. I’ll be back from the store shortly. Does anyone need anything?”

“No, I think we’re fine,” Euphemia told him.

“Bye, Dad,” James said.

Fleamont leaned down to peck Euphemia on the lips before heading out. “See you soon.”

“Do either of you want pudding?” Euphemia asked.

“Treacle tart?” James asked hopefully.

“Of course,” Euphemia said.

“I’m er, really not in trouble for the boyfriend thing?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Euphemia said lightly. “Just… try to make sure that you both are respectful to each other.”

“I will,” he mumbled.

She still looked like she wanted to say more, but went to the kitchen to make treacle tart.

James took Sirius’s hand and practically dragged him to the living room. “Mum knows,” he whispered urgently.

“What? No she doesn’t,” Sirius said.

“She does. She just didn’t want to say anything about it because she thinks that  _ I’m _ ashamed of it,” James said. "She was hugging you because she thought that I needed hugged."

“But you’re not ashamed of it,” Sirius said, baffled.

“I know that  _ I’m _ not,” James said, almost snappish with him.

Sirius blanched at that. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No, I’m sorry. That was unfair,” James said quickly.

“No, it’s true sometimes,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I don’t know why I’m not just as confident about it as you are.”

“You’ve had a rougher time of it. My mum’s great. Your mum… isn’t. And you are a bit… It’s just different,” James said with a shrug.

Sirius nodded and shrugged. He still couldn’t express why it was different for him, but he knew that it was harder. He was grateful that James understood. He didn’t know if it was that he was just a bit different–– not as  _ normal _ as James–– or what, but they both understood it even if they couldn’t verbalize it.

James reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “Could we please tell my Mum?” he asked softly. “Now that we’re pretty sure that she knows and isn’t going to kick you out? I know that you wanted to wait until you heard back from your uncle Alphard, but could we?”

Sirius licked his lips and nodded, fiddling with James’s fingers nervously. “Yeah. You can tell her– if you’re sure that she already suspects. I’ve only just got fully settled living here, y’know? It took a bit. I really care what your mum thinks about me now. It took awhile for us to get along, right? You’re positive she’ll be okay with it? ”

“I’m sure,” James said. “Are you sure it’s all right for me to tell her then?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. 

James smiled and wrapped both of his arms around Sirius tightly. “It’ll be fine,” he told him. “Do you want to be in the room when I tell her?”

“I’d rather not,” Sirius admitted.

“S’alright,” James said. He kissed his lips gently, hugging him tight.

He stepped back and squeezed Sirius’s hand again. “Don’t worry,” he said. 

Sirius nodded and leaned in again to lightly peck his lips. “If you say it’s fine, Prongs, then it will be fine,” he agreed. “I believe you. I love your mum. She really is great.”

James smiled before heading to the kitchen, leaving Sirius there. 

Euphemia was rolling out the pie crust for the treacle tart. She looked up when James stepped into the kitchen and smiled. “I’m making this from scratch, so it’s not going to be ready for a while yet,” she said. 

“I know,” James told her, watching her with the rolling pin. “I was wondering if I could tell you something.”

Euphemia stopped making the pie crust, and set the rolling pin aside. She looked at James warmly. “You can tell me anything,” she said. 

“I know,” James said. He leaned against the kitchen counter. He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized that he had been holding. “I wanted to tell you that I like blokes–– and girls too, but blokes are the more relevant part, I guess, since you already knew about the girls… Is that okay?” He looked up at her askance.

His mother’s arms went around him immediately, in a tight hug. It was as tight as she had hugged Sirius earlier, except this one was directed towards the person she had been trying to reassure. “Yes, it’s okay. Thank you for telling me,” she said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mum,” James said. 

She smiled and patted his back. “I’m proud of you,” she said. 

“Er, thanks,” James said awkwardly, although he was smiling. “I have something else to tell you too.”

“Oh?”

“Well, Sirius is my–– I love him,” James said. 

Euphemia held back any hint that she already knew, and hugged him tightly again. “I’m happy for you both,” she said.

“Thanks, Mum,” James said brightly. “Now I have to let Sirius know it’s all right.”

“Wait a moment,” Euphemia said, placing her hand on his shoulder to keep him from bounding out of the kitchen. “How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Er,” James said, frowning. “I guess a while after I started liking Sirius… and I wasn’t sure until we were dating. And then it didn’t seem like a good idea to tell you right away. Sirius was still a little ashamed of it and was worried you’d make him leave.”

“So it wasn’t anything that I said?” Euphemia asked.

“No, Mum. You’re mostly great about it,” James reassured her. He hugged her gently. “I love you, and you’re really great. I wasn’t nervous about telling you– not really.”

“I’m glad,” Euphemia said, ruffling his hair.

James smiled and then fixed his hair by messing it up more. “I’m going to go tell Sirius now,” he said.

“Wait–– I want to know how I can help you and what to do,” Euphemia said. 

“You don’t have to do anything different, Mum,” James reassured her. Then he hesitated. He chewed at his lip. “Well, there is one thing.”

“What?” Euphemia asked.

James ran his fingers self consciously through his hair again and shifted, leaning back against the counter. “Can you make sure that Dad is okay with it? And tell him for me?” he asked.

Euphemia’s mouth dropped and she stared at him for a moment. “Oh… James… He will be okay with it. He will,” she said, sounding absolutely heartbroken for him. 

“I think he will be too,” James said. “Still–– could you tell him for me? It doesn’t have to be right away either.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Euphemia said. “When would you like me to tell him?”

James shrugged “Ah- whenever you think you can talk him into being okay with it?” he said.

“He will be okay with it,” Euphemia promised.

“I hope so,” James said. He turned and headed towards the doorway. “Thanks again, Mum.”

“Oh, but––”

James had already left the room though and went to Sirius, who was sitting nervously on the sofa. He sat down next to him and tugged him into his lap, hugging him tightly. “She’s fine,” he said. 

“Really?” Sirius asked, still relieved in spite of the previous reassurances. He looked at James hopefully.

“She’s happy for me–– for us,” James reassured him. He pressed their lips together. 

It took a second for Sirius to shut his eyes and lean into the kiss, caught off guard by kissing in the living room rather than in secret. He still instinctively jerked away when Euphemia stepped into the room. He slid out of James’s lap, and back onto the sofa. 

“You’re fine. Don’t worry. I just wanted to talk to you both about a few things,” Euphemia told them.

They both stared up at her. “What exactly…?” James asked. 

Euphemia crossed her arms, looking between them.  “Well, I don’t know how to talk to you about this,” she admitted.

“If it’s about what I think you want to talk to us about, then we  _ really _ don’t want to talk about it,” James told her.

“But if you are intimate together-“

Sirius was up off of the sofa the moment that the word ‘intimate’ came out of James’s mother’s mouth. He summoned James’s invisibility cloak and disappeared— literally— upstairs. He was mortified. He wasn’t sure if James had ever been mortified in his life, but Sirius  _ couldn’t stand it _ .

“Sirius!”

James groaned. “Sorry, Mum. We  _ really _ don’t want to talk about it. Sirius definitely won’t want to talk about it,” he said.

Euphemia sighed. “I could talk to you about it, and you could talk to him?” she suggested.

“Maybe a different day? I need to figure out where Sirius went off to and make sure he’s okay. Really, Mum— don’t look at me like that. I was dating him yesterday too. You just didn’t know about it, so just one day won’t make a difference,” James said, getting up to go find Sirius.

“Just be careful with each other,” Euphemia told him, looking unsure of herself.

“We are, Mum. Really— it’s fine,” James reassured her, although she still didn’t look satisfied. He bounded up the stairs.

“Padfoot? Padfoot?” James said, heading into his room.  “Oof.”

He nearly tripped as he ran into Sirius. He reached up and tugged the invisibility cloak off.

“Was it awful?” Sirius asked, still red faced and uncomfortable looking.

“We didn’t actually talk about it,” James admitted.

Sirius sighed.

“C’mon. Don’t think about it. Let’s finish our essays,” James said, deciding that diversion was still the best tactic.

Sirius nodded and sat down on the bed with James. “Doubt she knows anything about what two blokes do in bed together anyway,” he mumbled.

James shrugged. “Probably not,” he agreed. He slung an arm around Sirius’s waist. “Don’t think about it.”

“Right,” Sirius said, shaking his head. He looked back at his essay and grabbed a quill.

James opened up his textbook. “We should be able to finish our essays today if we’re lucky,” he said.

Sirius flipped through a few pages of the textbook. “This should be useful,” he said, pointing to a paragraph.

“Oh, that’s a good point,” James agreed. He read over it. “Thanks again for letting me tell them, by the way.”

Sirius shrugged and leaned against James. “I’m glad it went well,” he said.

James smiled and kissed his cheek before scribbling down more to his essay.

They both worked consistently for a while, managing to work in another two and a half feet to the essays together. Working together always made their lessons and homework go more smoothly— when they could manage to focus on it.

The knock at James’s bedroom door broke their concentration.

“Come in,” James called.

Euphemia stuck her head in. “The treacle tart is ready, but we’re going to wait until dinner to have it,” she told them.

“Oh. Thanks, Mum,” James said.

“Thanks Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said.

Euphemia smiled. “You’re welcome,” she said. “Your dad wants to talk to you too.” She opened the door more widely then, and stepped out as she let Fleamont in the room.

James and Sirius were quiet as Fleamont headed over to the bed where they sat. He rested his hand on James’s shoulder and squeezed. “Thank you for telling us,” he said.

“Are you angry?” James asked. 

“No,” Fleamont said. He ruffled James’s hair and sat down across from them on the edge of the bed.

James let out a sigh of relief.

“I thought you liked that girl- Lily Evans?” Fleamont said.

“I did. It, erm, turns out that I like Sirius more,” James told him.

Fleamont looked over at Sirius, who was sunk into the bed as if he were trying very hard to disappear and fiddling with the invisibility cloak as if he were seriously contemplating it. Fleamont patted his shoulder awkwardly.

He looked back at James. “I’m happy that you told us and am happy for you too,” he said.

James wrinkled his nose. “But?” he asked.

“I do have some questions,” Fleamont said. 

James frowned. “What sort of questions?” he asked.

“Euphemia told me that I couldn’t ask most of them,” Fleamont admitted.

James laughed at that.

“Could I still ask a few questions?” Fleamont asked.

“I guess so,” James said.

“Let’s go talk in the study,” Fleamont suggested.

James glanced at Sirius. “Back in a bit,” he told him, squeezing his hand gently.

Sirius watched them both leave and sunk back on the bed, setting his quill aside. He took out James’s recently acquired snitch from its case and let it flit around his head, catching it a few times- much more clumsy with his catches than James was.

After a moment, Euphemia knocked on the door. She held up a bit of parchment. “This is for you,” she said lightly.

“What is it?” Sirius asked.

“Just read over it,” Euphemia told him and set the parchment on the bedside table. She headed back downstairs after that.

Sirius frowned and picked up the parchment. He grimaced a little at it as he started reading it, but then smiled. Euphemia wrote a reassuring letter in her own way.

“ _ Sirius, _

_ I’m very happy for you and James! I love you both, and I love you as if you were my own son. _

_ I know that you probably won’t be comfortable talking too much to a mum and think that this is all terribly quaint, but I’m here if you do need to talk.  _

_ Treat each other carefully and respectfully. If James ever is a bit pushy or if you need me to step in as a mother please let me know privately. I can make sure that you both stay in your own rooms separately or whatever else you need. If you need anything or need to talk, let me know.  _

_ Again, I’m very happy for you both! You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, because you are family and like a son to me. _

_ Love, _

_ Euphemia” _

Tacked at the end were a list of cringe-worthy book titles that Euphemia presumably thought might be educational for two men in a relationship, but Sirius wasn’t going to read any of them. He wasn’t interested in handpicked books from any parent.

Sirius couldn’t help but feel relieved reading the letter, and appreciated Euphemia’s efforts. She was a mother that he was lucky to have in his life, and even if it didn’t fix the problems with his own family, she did make life better. He knew James would never be pushy, and suspected that Euphemia knew that as well, but it was a comfort knowing that she cared. 

James came in a while later, carrying a book.

“All right?” Sirius said.

He flopped down onto the bed. “Not as bad as I would have thought,” James said.

“Really?” Sirius asked, surprised. 

James opened the book up, flipping through the pages. He handed it to Sirius.

“What’s this?” Sirius asked, reading over a list of potion ingredients and directions.

“Lube,” James said.

Sirius’s face reddened. He laughed.  “I guess that your  _ ‘talking to’ _ was more informative than mine. Your mum just wrote me a vague letter,” he said. “It was a nice letter though.”

“We’re  _ not _ to use it, mind— Dad did insist on not actually doing anything that’s written in this book,” James said with a mischievous look.

“I can’t believe your Dad just had a book on this stuff to give you,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“He erm, didn’t,” James said. “I asked about it.”

“You what?” Sirius asked, eyes widened in shock.

“I asked a question. He stammered and stuttered about things for about a minute and then told me that he wanted me to stay put while he went to buy a book for me. I thought that we needed something more informative other than guessing at it,” James said with a shrug. “So I asked.”

“Arse. If you let your dad know  _ anything _ else like that then I’m going to set your new snitch free out the window,” Sirius told him. 

“We just got that one!” James protested.

“You didn’t have to ask him. I could have bought lube at a muggle shop, you berk,” Sirius said.

“Well, I sorted it out first,” James said with a shrug. “I didn’t know muggles had lube. You didn’t tell me that. You could say thank you, y’know. It’ll feel nicer, won’t it? The lotion isn’t doing your arse any favors.”

Sirius looked at the parchment again. His lips quirked up. “Thank you,” he said. 

“Want to try making it after my parents go to bed? James asked, raising his eyebrow. 

Sirius laughed and then grinned. “Why not?” he said.

James grinned and leaned in, pecking his lips.

Euphemia knocked at the door. “Dinner is ready,” she told them from outside the door.

James pulled back and opened the door. Sirius followed behind him and hugged Euphemia on the way. 

“You’re the best, Mrs. Potter-mum,” he told her before racing down the stairs with James.


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius was the last to arrive at the Longbottom family home, having taken the Floo rather than apparating. 

“Mum and Augusta are in the kitchen,” James told him when he came through.

“Er, right. Did you tell Frank what we’re looking for?” Sirius asked.

“A cauldron,” Frank said. “I really hope that I can help.”

“Did you tell him what we’re using it for?” Sirius asked.

“We didn’t get too far with that,” Remus told him. 

“They said it belonged to James’s grandfather though,” Frank said brightly. “And it’s supposedly the cauldron from the Hopping Pot story!”

“Did you have any cauldrons that might have been given to you by my grandfather?” James asked.

“Possibly, but like I said, there was the break in a while back. A lot of stuff was taken,” Frank told them.

“Where would the cauldrons have been?” James asked.

“Over here we had some,” Frank told him, leading them over to a cabinet.

James walked over to the cabinet. He cursed under his breath. He had vivid memories of earlier that summer, grabbing the vase on the table just in front of the cabinet to go to the Quidditch game. It had been a portkey that the time. Even though the cabinet was nearly empty now, he remembered it being filled with silverware and  _ cauldrons _ . They were so insignificant at the time- completely meaningless. Now he felt himself wracking his brain, knowing it wouldn’t do any good.

It hadn’t mattered what the cauldrons had looked like at the time- only their silly bets on the Chudley Cannons. He had been more excited about the game than anything. It felt so long ago now, and running the memories through his brain wouldn’t help.

“Do you remember what any of them looked like that were in here?” James asked.

“Oh, there were loads of antiques. You know how my mum is with antiques. They were all different looking,” Frank said. 

“Do you remember specifically?” James asked.

“No…” Frank admitted. “I was never interested in them. I’m sorry.”

“What about any photographs? Do you have any photographs in front of the cabinet?” Remus asked him.

“Oh, now that you mention it, we do!” Frank said brightly. He headed into the living room, all of the rest of them following him.

Frank opened the photo album and turned the pages, stopping once he reached a family photo. “That’s Mum and Dad— of course, before he was...” Frank said, sounding more melancholy. 

“Killed,” Peter supplied quietly.

“Yeah,” Frank said, swallowing. “Anyway, it’s not a good photograph for looking since we’re all in the way…”

“Could I see it?” Remus asked gently.

“Sure,” Frank said, handing it over.

Remus pulled out his wand and gently nudged Frank’s family out of the way so that they were all scrambling around each other, cramped to the sides of the photograph.

“That’s it! That’s it! That’s the Hopping Pot!” Peter said excitedly.

“You’re right!” James said, staring at it. “Let me take a closer look.”

“Definitely the Hopping Pot,” Sirius agreed. 

“It’s a shame that it got stolen,” Frank said, and that was an immediate dose of reality for them all.

“Who do you think took it?” James asked. 

“Ah…” Frank said, glancing at Sirius. “We don’t have any proof of it really…”

“Who do you think it was though?” James asked.

“Well,” Frank said a little hesitantly. “We think it was one of Sirius’s cousins. Bellatrix. We think she’s a Death Eater, but we don’t have proof.”

“Bellatrix?” Sirius asked. “I hate her.”

Frank looked a little relieved at that. 

“Why would she have stolen stuff from your home?” James asked him.

“Well, our families have never really got on you know? That’s the most that I can figure. It’s complicated really… Mum would know more about it.”

“We’ll get it back,” James said, although he looked concerned. He chewed at his lip.

“Don’t have much time before school though, do you?” Frank pointed out.

“No, but we’ll get it sorted— even if we have to work on it during the school year,” James decided. 

“How are you going to manage that?” Frank asked.

“We have our ways,” James said with a shrug. He wasn’t about to explain that they regularly snuck out of the castle. 

“Erm, it is going to be harder than you think,” Sirius said. “I didn’t like being around Bellatrix as a kid, and you  _ know _ what she’s like now.”

“We’ll figure out something,” Remus said. “The four of us against her have to manage to keep it from being a disaster.”

“Er— do I really have to come along for that trip? No offense, Sirius, but your cousin  _ scares _ me,” Peter said.

“Oh, grow a spine, Wormtail,” Sirius said, although James and Remus could tell that he wasn’t as confident about it as he was pretending to be. “She’s absolutely nasty, but we’ll sort it out.”

“I really don’t want to go,” Peter whined.

“Where’s your sense of Gryffindor spirit? We’ll manage just fine,” James said. 

“Manage what?” Euphemia said from the doorway, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing Mum,” James said, feigning innocence.

“Right,” she said skeptically. “Tea is ready. Come along now.”

They filed out of the room behind James’s mum for tea.

______________________________

“James? What are you doing?” Euphemia asked. 

“Er–– cooking. Or at least trying to,” James said. 

“Do you need help with that?” Euphemia asked, looking at James’s cooking skeptically.

“No, I’ve got it,” James said. “I think.”

Euphemia took a small taste of it. “More salt,” she told him. 

“Really?” James asked. 

“Just a dash,” Euphemia told him.

Sirius came into the kitchen wearing tight black jeans, a blue velvet jacket, a tight band t-shirt that was cut just a little too low in the front to be from the men’s department, a thin patterned silk scarf, and eyeliner. James couldn’t help but notice the lipstick that Sirius was more sheen than colour and glanced away before he was caught staring too intently at his mouth. 

“Where are you going?” Euphemia asked.

“Sirius and I are going on a date. Although, I suppose ‘going’ is the wrong word. We’re just having lunch out in the backyard,” James said. 

“Do I look alright?” Sirius asked. 

“You know it, Mssr. Prongs,” James told him with a grin. 

Euphemia raised an eyebrow at that, convinced that the nicknames were usually the other way around, but didn’t ask.

Sirius grinned in return. He grabbed the picnic blanket. “About ready?” he asked. 

James nodded and put the shepherd’s pie on plates. He levitated them and glasses of water while he followed Sirius out the backdoor.

“Have fun,” Euphemia called after them, trying to give them privacy in spite of her newfound disapproval for Sirius’s overly tight trousers.

Sirius spread out the blanket on the grass where they normally flew their brooms and sat down.

James sat down next to him, putting their lunch on the blanket.

“I like that we get to go on dates,” Sirius said brightly.

“Me too,” James told him, with a warm smile.

Sirius beamed at him, and since he  _ could _ he kissed James out in the light of day- a nice change from their quiet secrecy.

James kissed him tenderly, laughing when Sirius pressed him back onto the blanket, laying atop him. Sirius ran his fingers through James messy hair, surprised when James’s fingers tangled in his longer sleek hair.

He kissed down James’s neck, nibbling gently at the skin just to the side of his Adam’s apple. 

“Careful not to get too handsy,” James reminded him. “Mum knows we’re on a date out here.”

Sirius let out a small frustrated growl, but rolled off of him onto his back. “They shouldn’t be snooping on our date anyway,” he said.

“Still, we ought to have lunch and then figure out a bit more privacy after,” James said. He licked his own lips and thumbed over Sirius’s smudged lipstick.

“If it keeps them from being irritated,” Sirius agreed softly, kissing James’s thumb lightly.

James smiled and took leaned down, pressing their lips together briefly. “Sit up, so we can eat,” he told him.

Sirius sat up and took his plate from James. “Dates are supposed to involve lots of snogging, you know,” he told him, taking a bite of the shepherd’s pie. “This is really good. I didn’t know that you could cook.”

“I can’t really. I followed a recipe and hoped for the best,” James admitted. “I did want to try though. And we will snog, you know.  _ Lots _ of snogging.”

Sirius smiled at that and kissed James’s cheek. He scooted closer to James and rested his head on his shoulder. 

They ate quietly for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company and proximity. Sirius slowed down eating quickly though, and just leaned against James.

“Not hungry?” James asked.

“It’s good,” Sirius said.

“Not what I asked,” James pointed out gently. 

Sirius shrugged. “It’s nice just sitting out here with you,” he said. 

“Not a boring date?” James asked.

“You could never be boring, Prongs,” Sirius told him. 

“Hold on a moment,” James said, charming the food to stay good. He stood and headed back inside.

“Oi!” Sirius called, but didn’t chase after him. He rolled his eyes and sprawled out on the picnic blanket. 

When James came back outside, he was levitating his mother’s old gramophone.

“We’re not listening to any of your mother’s awful music,” Sirius told him. 

“It’s not awful,” James said. “Besides, we can’t dance to any of your music.”

“I thought that you liked my music now,” Sirius said. 

“It’s nice enough— loud enough anyway,” James said with a grin. He plopped the gramophone down on the grass and took hold of Sirius’s hand, tugging him up to stand. “C’mon.”

“I’m not dancing to your mum’s old music,” Sirius told him again.

“Humor me?” James said then, turning on the gramophone. He held out his hand. “Dance with me? Dancing is fun on dates.”

Sirius looked skeptical, but took hold of James’s hand. 

“Dancing leads to snogging too,” James told him. 

“Prat,” Sirius quipped, although he grew more quiet when James’s hand rested on his waist. He licked his lips and stepped in a little closer.

“See? It’s nice,” James said, following familiar steps.

It was awkward at first, with Sirius nearly stepping on James’s toes a couple times, the motions for leading rather than following deeply ingrained. After a few turns, he got the hang of doing the dance backwards from normal, and leaned in closer, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Somehow James smelled even more like the outdoors than the grass below their feet or the breeze that blew by, signaling the end of summer. “You smell nice,” Sirius said, because he knew that it would sound absurd to say that he  _ liked _ that James smelled like pine soap, the outdoors, and treacle tart.

“So do you,” James told him, dipping a kiss to his neck as they kept swaying. 

Sirius hadn’t expected to like the music, since it was painfully old fashioned and very slow, but James was right— it was good for dancing. He tucked closer to him, which made the steps more tricky. James let go of his hand and rested both lower on his hips. It was more intimate than he had expected it to be, and even though he was never entirely sure if either of them knew what they were doing, James was  _ good  _ at this. 

Sirius nearly stumbled over James’s feet again and fell against him, laughing. “I was almost getting good at following,” he said. 

“Just got distracted is all. What were you thinking about?” James asked, tugging him much closer. This time rather than complicated steps, he just swayed and rocked them both.

“I was thinking that I like dancing with you, and that you’re really good at planning dates,” Sirius said softly. 

James grinned and kissed his neck lightly. “There wasn’t that much planning. I just really wanted to dance with you,” he said.

“I’m glad you did,” Sirius murmured. He kept just rocking with James, glad for the closeness. He closed his eyes and rested his head on James’s shoulder, focused on the gentle swaying motion, the weight of James’s hands on his hips, and the puffs of breath against the sensitive skin of his neck. 

Even though he felt his body respond to being pressed up against James’s (and James was having the same reaction) they kept dancing for a while longer, through the end of the song and well into another. The kisses they exchanged were more tender than passionate, light on the lips and gentle on each other’s necks.

It was Sirius’s stomach that interrupted their dancing with a growl.

“Thought you weren’t hungry,” James said with a small laugh.

“I am a bit hungry. I just er… think we could keep the food charmed to stay good for a while longer?” Sirius asked him. 

“I s’pose,” James said. “If you’re hungry though-”

“Well… it’s not that. It’s just– I already cleaned up a bit,” Sirius told him, murmuring it against his lips. 

James pulled back and raised an eyebrow at that.

“Just enough for fingers,” Sirius said. He licked his lips. He knew that it was going to be mortifying, but he somehow managed to voice it anyway. Dancing with James had been relaxing in a way. “Or a tongue. I was hoping we could manage to find a bit of privacy.”

James looked startled at that, and then a bit skeptical. “How exactly…?”

Sirius chewed his lip. “With one of the charms in the book that you got,” he said.

James stared at him. “Isn’t that… wouldn’t that burn?”

“Just a little,” Sirius said candidly. 

James ran a hand through his messy hair, looking uncomfortable. He awkwardly patted Sirius’s back a few times.

“I swear it’s clean. I made sure. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t,” Sirius said quickly.

“I believe you,” James said. “It’s just… is that safe?”

“Well, if it’s clean enough then-”

“I figured that. No, I meant cleaning like that,” James said.

“Oh. Erm, I think so. It’s my arse, Prongs, don’t worry about it. I usually clean up a bit,” Sirius said, somehow managing not to look too embarrassed. “Usually with soap, but I thought I’d try this. It’s cleaner.”

“Do other people really do that sort of thing?” James asked curiously.

“Generally anyone that wants their arse messed with makes sure it’s clean,” Sirius said.

“Right. What about the tongue thing?” James asked, looking at Sirius speculatively.

“Other people do it,” Sirius confirmed. 

James was quiet for a moment. “Are you taking the piss?” he asked hesitantly. “I didn’t read about that in the book.” He hadn’t done much in depth reading other than how to keep from hurting Sirius and how to make everything go more smoothly- he hadn’t exactly gone looking for something like this.

“I wouldn’t joke about that,” Sirius assured him. He looked at James directly, hoping to convince him, although he was growing decidedly more embarrassed by it. “It’s definitely not a joke. I know that it’s not in the book, but people actually do this… You don’t have to do it though. Not everyone does it. I mean… Forget that I asked.”

James stared at him for a moment. “C’mere,” he mumbled, grabbing hold of his hips and tugging him closer again.

Sirius slid into James’s arms. He shivered when James pressed a kiss to his neck, nibbling at the skin there. “You don’t have to- I just thought that I’d ask,” Sirius said. 

James kissed up along Sirius’s jaw. “I’m going to be dreadful at it, but you’re _not_ going to laugh- _can’t laugh_ \- because you’re the one that asked me to _lick_ _your_ _arse_ of all things,” he said, although he didn’t sound put off by the idea at all.

“I won’t laugh,” Sirius reassured him, gasping softly when James bit down at his neck. “As long as you don’t laugh at me over it.”

“I swear that I won’t. Let’s go,” James said. He cast a quick charm on the food to keep it good and the ants off of it before tugging Sirius across the lawn and back into the house. 

They hurriedly passed quickly by James’s mother and raced up the stairs to James’s room, locking the door behind them. As an afterthought Sirius turned the record player on to drown out any noise. 

James tugged him over to his bed and eased him down so that they were reclined on top of his red and gold quilt, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin of his neck, drawing soft nearly un-self-conscious moans from him.  

Once he got Sirius’s trousers undone he let out a breath of a laugh. “You’re not wearing any pants,” he said, tugging the trousers off of Sirius’s bare bottom. 

“Didn’t plan on needing them,” Sirius joked. 

“S’pose you didn’t. Here- lay down a minute,” James told him. He ran his hands along Sirius’s bare backside, setting the trousers aside.

Sirius eased back completely onto the bed, looking up at James. He was sure that he was flushed all the way down his cheeks and even his chest from embarrassment and excitement.

“S’fine,” James mumbled reassuringly. 

Sirius covered his eyes with his forearm, still struggling to deal with the embarrassment. He felt gentle kisses brush over his calves, each kiss just a little higher than the previous one, but each one tender. James seemed intent on taking his time, nibbling and kissing his way up his legs. 

He spread his legs further apart when James got to his thighs. He breathed shakily, focused on the amount of care that James was showing him. He moved his arm away from his face when James paused.

“Want to lift your legs up a bit?” James asked him.

“Er- yeah,” Sirius agreed, surprised to find that James looked almost embarrassed as well. There wasn’t much that embarrassed James. He lifted his legs up and shoved a pillow under his hips, tugging his legs up enough that he felt very exposed.

James kissed along the back of his thighs he paused when he got to his cheeks, resting his hands on them gently. “Feel okay?” he asked. James’s calloused fingers were warm against his skin.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah.”

Lips brushed gently over his cheeks at that. Fingers trailed along his crack and against his opening, the touches light and teasing.

“I cleaned  _ really _ well,” Sirius reassured him, nervous that he might call the entire thing off. “Very clean- even inside.”

“Okay,” James said quietly. He pressed a few more kisses to Sirius’s cheeks just along the inside of his thighs..

Sirius bit his lip to muffle a moan, lifting his hips up towards James a little.

“Needy,” James commented.

A soft sound escaped his lips that even Sirius wasn’t certain was a denial or noise of agreement. The sound was, however, very needy.

James laughed at that and pressed another kiss closer to where Sirius wanted it.

“Please? I know it’s probably a little strange, but I swear I’ll suck you off after or just about anything that you want afterard,” Sirius said in a rush.

“Not strange. You’re not strange,” James reassured him. “I wouldn’t be doing this if it didn’t sound like a fun idea to me.”

Having James spread his cheeks apart was embarrassing, but he couldn’t focus on that for long. Wet lips brushed lightly along his cheeks, closer and closer to his opening.

He clenched fistfuls of James’s bed-sheets keep from moving his hips with the desire he felt, breathing more heavily. He let out a soft noise when James’s tongue ran along his crack.

Then James’s lips were directly on his opening. Sirius couldn’t help but compare it to the way James normally kissed his lips. It was soft and gentle at first, full of tenderness and love in spite of the location of the kiss.  He nibbled so cautiously and gently, not nearly as rough as they sometimes were with each others lips.

When James’s tongue, hot and wet, swept over his puckered opening Sirius moaned and squirmed. He reached down, grasping his own cock and stoked over it as James swept his tongue over his opening again.

The intrusion of James’s tongue just inside of him was unexpected, but made Sirius shudder and press to it, although neither managed to get it much deeper inside of him. It was like being kissed thoroughly, but far more intimate in some ways. He half wanted to shut his eyes or look away from what James was doing between his legs, and half needed to keep James’s hazel eyes that were watching him clear in his view so that he could see the desire and love there.

Sirius worked his hand over his own cock slowly. He knew that he should take the time to savor and enjoy what James was doing, but that was difficult when he was doing it so well and it felt as good as it did. 

His whimpers and moans seemed to encourage James. There was a change from more gentle licks to ones intended to make Sirius writhe on the bed more than he already was. 

“Fingers?” Sirius gasped out, looking at the ceiling rather than James as he asked.

“You want my fingers inside instead?” James asked, lightly tapping his fingers on Sirius’s hip to draw his attention from the ceiling and back down. He was successful, even if Sirius still looked nervous about asking.

“Yes. Please? Now?” Sirius told him.

After a brief hesitation James grabbed lube that was hidden underneath a pile of papers on the bedside table. He slid one finger inside of him, slicked enough to slip inside easily. The second finger was more noticeable, but not painful. The initial stretch had him biting his lip with satisfaction.

Sirius gasped when James’s fingers rubbed against his prostate. He stroked over his own cock faster as he rocked his hips backwards. He thrust up into his hand while focusing on James’s fingers working inside of him.

He cried out and came over his own hand only a second later. 

James gentled his touches before easing his fingers out of him gently. He kissed Sirius’s hip softly. If James was surprised by how quickly he had got off, then at least he was unwilling to embarrass him by commenting on the premature nature of it. 

“Felt really good,” Sirius told him, still panting softly.

“Good,” James said, kissing his hip once more. He sat back, letting Sirius rest for a moment.

He felt the dip in the bed shift, although James returned a moment later, gently passing a tissue over Sirius’s cock. He cleaned him up without magic which was somehow more intimate, and it occurred to Sirius that this was partly just an excuse for James to play with his cock a bit. He knew James enjoyed touching him and sucking him off, but it still surprised him that he appreciated it for his own sake rather than just getting Sirius off. Even though he was still sensitive, he wasn’t going to complain about James’s light and caring touches with calloused fingers.

James kissed his lips softly after Sirius had caught his breath. “Roll over,” he murmured.

Sirius raised an eyebrow but did as he asked. He looked back over his shoulder at James, smiling. He licked his lips when he felt James’s hand on his backside. The touch was fleeting as James’s hand soon went to his trousers, undoing them. Sirius eyed the lube that James had in hand and looked up at him. 

“Don’t worry,” James told him, setting his trousers aside. 

Sirius smirked, and turned his head away, laying flat again. “Usually when someone says don’t worry, it means there’s a reason to worry,” he said, although he sounded unconcerned. He trusted James. “What are we doing now?”

“We’re just going to stick to stuff on the outside,” James said. 

He glanced back at him again when he felt James smear some of the lube between his crack he raised an eyebrow.

James rested his cock between Sirius’s cheeks, sliding just between them rather than pressing to his opening. “This okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, relaxing. He settled again, wrapping his arms around a pillow and keeping his backside up for James.

He felt the slide of James’s cock between his cheeks, and James’s hand resting on top of his backside. It made his mind wander to what it would be like to have James doing this inside of him instead of just thrusting between his cheeks. He could almost imagine it, with James’s cock rubbing against his opening. It was  _ so _ close to something that still seemed entirely too much to ask for, even if it lingered on the tip of his tongue in moments like this.

“Feel nice? You sure you don’t want me to suck you off?” Sirius asked quietly.

“S’good. Great,” James told him, wrapping his arms around him and just holding him close as he thrust against him, hot and slick. “I thought about us doing that earlier. I’d like to keep doing  _ this _ though, if it feels okay. Does it?”

“Feels really good,” Sirius assured him. 

James groaned as he thrust a little faster, rubbing against him, partially laying against Sirius’s back as he held him. He ground down, rutting against him, kissing his back and neck.

Sirius rocked his hips back against James to match his thrusts. He smirked at James’s grunt and quickening movements. Once James grasped his shoulders to use as leverage, the thrusts sped up. 

After a few more thrusts Sirius felt warm sticky wetness between his cheeks and lower back as James went rigid. He thrust a few more times before resting on top of Sirius.

“That was nice,” Sirius murmured.

“Really?” James asked, pleased but still surprised.

“Yeah. I like having you on top of me,” Sirius told him. He rolled over onto his back underneath James and wrapped his arms around him.

“I like this too,” James admitted, curling around him and running his hands over his sides. 

Sirius grinned and pecked James’s lips before resting back and shutting his eyes.

James rested for a moment before cleaning them both up gently. “Hungry?” he asked.

Sirius nodded, getting up and changing back into the clothes he had been wearing earlier. James redressed as well, and paused, adjusting Sirius’s scarf and smoothing out his hair for him. He wiped away some of the lipstick smudges.

“Do I look presentable?” Sirius asked.

“I think so,” James said. “What about me?”

Sirius wiped off some of his lipstick that had rubbed off while they were kissing lingered on James’s lips. He smirked and playfully messed up James’s hair. “Now you look fine,” he said.

James laughed and checked the mirror just to make sure. 

“Y’know, we could have danced to my music too,” Sirius told him. 

“Yeah? How?” James asked.

Sirius grinned and slid up close to him, backside flush with James’s front as he playfully danced to the muggle rock music.

James laughed and rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Sirius. “That’s not dancing. That’s practically what we just finished doing,” he said.

“Thought you might like it because of that reason,” Sirius said. 

James laughed at that and held onto Sirius a little tighter. “It’s a good reason to like it,” he admitted. 

Sirius’s stomach growled again and James took his hand. “C’mon, let’s go eat and finish our picnic,” he told him.

They headed down the stairs and to the back door.

“James,” Euphemia said before they could make it out the door. “Were you finished with my gramophone? You left it outside.”

“Yes, sorry Mum. I forgot about it,” James said.

“Make sure that you put it back,” she told him.

“I will,” James promised before tugging Sirius out the door.

The rest of their date was spent having lunch and curled up together on the picnic blanket, talking about plans for the approaching school year.

______________________________

Summer came to a close far too soon, the remaining days slipping by quickly. Neither Mr. Potter nor Mrs. Potter seemed to intervene between James and Sirius and largely ignored that they were sharing a bedroom. They didn’t bring it up and gave them a similar amount of space to what they had previously. James and Sirius seemed to be able to have more time together if Sirius were honest with himself, as if they were trying to avoid catching them involved together or embarrassing them.

Both Fleamont and Euphemia saw them off to the train station at King’s Cross, walking onto the platform with them. 

“Are you sure that you have everything?” Euphemia asked.

“Yes, Mum,” James said. “We’ve already gone over everything, and if I’ve forgotten anything I’ll send an owl.”

“Okay. What about you Sirius?” Euphemia said. 

“I packed at the same time as James. I think we’re fine,” Sirius told her. 

“Please don’t get into too much trouble this year,” Euphemia told them.

“We won’t,” James said.

“We promise,” Sirius added. 

Euphemia hugged them both. “We love you both,” she said. “Even if you are troublemakers sometimes.”

“Love you too Mum, Dad,” James said, Sirius echoing the same sentiment but adding his quirky ‘Mr. Potter-dad’ and ‘Mrs. Potter-mum.’ 

“Sirius?”

Sirius froze when he heard that voice, back stiffening. His heart pounded in his chest. He turned towards his mother’s voice behind him, uneasy.

“We missed you,” Walburga said. She was dressed in an emerald cloak over a silver and black dress. Her hair was only a bit longer than Sirius’s, the same jet black, and done up in a very precisely coiffed bun. Her face was paler than it had been when he last saw her and had a yellow cast to it. “I don’t know why you decided to run away. Has he been troubling you?” This question was directed at the Potters.

“No trouble at all,” Fleamont told her. “He’s very well behaved.”

“That’s a _ surprise _ . Sirius, I do wish that you would come home. I left your room just as it was for you, so that it’s there when you’re ready to come home,” Walburga said.

“I’m  _ never _ coming home. Ever. I hate that place,” Sirius snapped, hating that he seemed like the irrational one. How did she manage to stay so composed?

“Don’t talk to mum like that. You’re upsetting her,” Regulus said quietly, head tilted as he looked at Sirius. It was almost felt like he was being examined and measured like a bit of ingredients on a scale for potions. 

“It is upsetting,” Walburga said with a frown. “You just ran away from home for no reason- just because I have expectations for you. They’re not unreasonable. Regulus has managed to do well with them. He’s not like this at all. He’s younger than you, and I don’t expect you to surpass him- so it’s not like the expectations should be challenging for you. I’m sorry if they are, but I’m not making it intentionally difficult.”

“I hate your  _ expectations _ ,” Sirius said.

Regulus’s brows were knitted in displeasure, realizing that Walburga had somehow managed to insult both of them while deriding Sirius. He still wasn’t vocal or confident enough to voice displeasure though.

“I’m sorry that you’ve been putting up with my dishonorable son. I’m sure that he’s been behaving shamefully,” Walburga told the Potters.

“It’s fine if Sirius stays with us. He’s no bother,” Euphemia said. 

Walburga ignored her entirely, since that was just how she preferred to conduct a conversation- not actually interested in hearing anything favourable about Sirius. “I was far too lenient with you. Now you’re a complete disgrace. I thought that I was adjusting according to  your abilities since you can’t seem to keep up with Regulus’s-

“Regulus is an idiot,” Sirius said.

Regulus grinned at that, a soft laugh escaping him. He looked  _ amused _ . 

“Don’t insult your brother like that,” Orion told him, looking cross.

“Mum was insulting me,” Sirius said. 

“She wasn’t. She was just trying to have a discussion,” Orion said.

“I think this has gone on long enough. James, why don’t you and Sirius get on the train?” Fleamont suggested. 

“Yes. Sirius let’s go,” James said.

“Right,” Sirius mumbled. 

“Please read my letters this year?” Walburga said. “And think about coming home. I do love you.”

“I _ hate _ you,” Sirius snapped. “I fucking  _ hate _ you.”

Walburga turned and tucked into Orion’s shoulders, crying against him. Even though the tears were genuine, the emotion real, the grief was tinged with manipulation. 

“There, there,” Orion comforted her. “He’s just being a horrid blood traitor- turned his back on his family like you said. He’ll come around.”

Fleamont tugged on Sirius’s arm, pulling him away. 

Regulus was still watching them with odd detached fascination as they walked away.

“I didn’t just run away for no good reason. I  _ know _ that they seem reasonable,” Sirius told Fleamont. “I know Mum seems like I’m the one that caused all of this, but you have to believe me. They’re awful.”

“I know,” Fleamont said with a sigh. He hugged Sirius and clapped him on the back, awkwardly looking at the ceiling of King’s Cross as he held him.

“She’s perfectly nice to me in public, but she’s- urgh. She’s…” Sirius trailed off, shoulders shaking with anger and hurt. 

“We believe you. If you think that what she said to you was  _ nice _ then I’d hate to hear what she says to you the rest of the time,” Euphemia told him, hugging him tightly. “We know. We’re not going to listen to a word she said. Children don’t run away from home for no reason.”

“I’m not a child,” Sirius said. “I’m sixteen.”

“Still…” Euphemia said with a sigh as he pulled away. 

“Are you okay?” James asked.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said.

“Are you sure?” Euphemia asked. 

“I’m fine, Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said.

Euphemia hugged him again. “We love you both so much.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. “Love you too."

“Hurry up and get going. It’s getting late,” Fleamont said. 

“C’mon,” James said, tugging Sirius towards the train. 

They climbed aboard and headed to their favorite compartment in the back, seeing Peter already settled. 

“How was the rest of your summer?” Peter asked them. 

“Good,” James said, sitting down across from him. Sirius settled at his side. “Yours?”

“A bit dull, but not bad,” Peter said. 

“Where’s Remus at?” Sirius asked, nodding to his things in the corner. 

“Prefect stuff,” Peter said.

“I think my mum is still disappointed that I didn’t get prefect. I don’t know what she expected,” James said, shaking his head. “It’s been a year. She should get over it. She’s still hopeful that I’ll make Head Boy though. Delusional!”

“She knows how much trouble you get into,” Sirius said with a grin. “She’s not  _ that _ disappointed.”

“Remus is the responsible one,” James said. 

“Not that responsible,” Peter said. 

“More than the rest of us,” Sirius said. 

The compartment door slid open and Regulus peeked inside.

All three boys looked up at him.

“What do you want?” Sirius asked sharply.

“I just wanted to let you know that you really upset our mother this time,” Regulus said, taking the seat next to Peter. 

“I didn’t say you could sit with us,” Sirius told him.

“Piss off,” Peter told Regulus, more bold with James and Sirius by his side than at any other time.

“I’m only here to have a conversation. I know that you’re cross with our mother, but you’re absolutely callous. You have no idea how often she has cried since you left. She’s  _ devastated _ ,” Regulus told him.

“She’s not upset that I’m gone. She’s just upset that she looks bad for having a runaway blood-traitor son. She doesn’t really care,” Sirius said.

“Oh, but she does. You’re just being absurd. Sirius, if you came home, she would be thrilled. I don’t know why you have to trouble her and be so dramatic about it. She’s been  _ very _ tolerant. She’s even left your ridiculous muggle girl posters up on the walls with those racing bikes that you like so much. If  you would be reasonable and just behave a little bit-”

“I wasn’t misbehaving. It’s just because I like muggle stuff and stand up for muggleborns. Honestly, you grew up playing with the muggle children in our neighborhood too. How could you possibly believe that mum’s right about them?” Sirius asked.

“You do misbehave. You were nearly expelled for whatever it is that you did last year. Mum had to pay all of that money to keep you at Hogwarts, remember?” Regulus said. 

Sirius whipped out his wand and pointed it at Regulus’s face. “Get out.”

His brother had the audacity to laugh, putting his hand on the wand and lowering it. “You’ll just get in more trouble. You know that everyone was staring on the platform right? They all know that you were horrible to Mum. You’re a bit touched in the head aren’t you? To think that mum is treating you  _ poorly _ .”

“Piss off, Regulus. Get out of here before we make you,” James told him. 

“Mum wouldn’t have said any of that if you behaved. You just bring it all on yourself you know. She doesn’t treat  _ me  _ like that. If you just behaved yourself, she would love to have you back home,” Regulus said, although he did get up. 

“Shut up! Leave,” Sirius said, pointing his wand at him again.

“You wouldn’t hex me would you?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Get out,” Sirius snapped.

“Didn’t think so. You’re not doing it, because you know I’m right,” Regulus said.

“I know that you’re an idiot and an arse,” Sirius told him.

“Did you really tell Uncle Alphard that Mum hits you?” Regulus asked, grinning at him— knowing exactly all of Sirius’s sore spots. 

“I did not. Shut up! Shut up! FUCK OFF!” Sirius shouted, standing and shoving him out of the compartment. 

“Oof,” Regulus huffed as he landed on his backside.

Sirius shut the compartment door, holding it shut until he was sure that Regulus had walked away. 

“I can’t get away from her. I ran away and I still can’t fucking get away from her,” Sirius muttered, face red and splotchy with anger. “Shit. I didn’t say that. He has to know that I didn’t say that.”

“C’mere,” James said, tugging on Sirius’s arm. 

Sirius plopped down on the seat again. James threw his arm around his waist, tugging him close.

“We’ll get loads of sweets once the trolley comes along,” James said.

“Do you think they’ll have Ice Mice?” Peter asked hopefully. 

“Cannibal!” James teased. 

“They’re good,” Peter said. 

“Not really. Do you just like the squeaking?” James asked.

“No! They’re my favorite. They’re better than Bertie Botts. More reliable,” Peter told him.

“If you say so,” James said, teasing him as if he didn’t believe him.

“It’s not the squeaking! Honest. I’m not  _ that  _ weird,” Peter said. 

“If you say so,” James repeated.

Peter groaned. 

“You okay there?” James asked Sirius, noticing that he had been quiet. 

“Fine,” Sirius mumbled.

“You sure?” James asked.

“He’s an arse… Y’know, Uncle Alphard never sent me a letter back,” Sirius mumbled.

James reached over and squeezed his hand. “Maybe it got lost in the post? Or he’s been busy. It doesn’t sound like he’s talking to your family again.”

“Maybe,” Sirius said, although he sounded unsure.

The compartment door opened and they all looked up, James and Sirius with drawn wands.

“Just me,” Remus said, putting his hands up and looking at them curiously. “Why are you so jumpy?”

“Regulus was being a snot,” James said. 

“Ah,” Remus said, sinking down into his usual seat after shutting the compartment door. 

“He’s such an idiot,” Sirius said. 

“He is,” Remus agreed, even though he didn’t know what had happened yet. 

“He came in here blaming Sirius for how his mother treats him- as if it’s his fault that Walburga is completely mad,” James said. “She showed up at the platform asking Sirius to move back home again, you know. As if he would after all that she’s done.”

Remus scrunched up his face. “She’s dreadful. Are you okay?” he asked Sirius.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said again, although he sunk against James a little. 

“I’m sorry you had to see her,” Remus said. 

“S’fine,” Sirius mumbled, shrugging. 

“Oh! Here comes the trolley! I want Ice Mice!” Peter interrupted.

“Do you want anything?” James asked Sirius and Remus.

“Chocolate frogs would be nice if you don’t mind,” Remus said politely, although the assumption was there that James would be paying for it.

“Cauldron cakes,” Sirius said.

James bought for them all, and got Pumpkin Pasties for himself. 

“Right, so… First thing we’re going to do when we get to Hogwarts is work on our plan to get the Hopping Pot back from Bellatrix,” James told them. 

“I thought that we were going to hide all of the Slytherin’s toilet paper first thing this year,” Peter said, a bit put out. He had been the one to think of that idea. 

“Oh, we’ll do that too,” James assured him. “Don’t worry. It’s just the Hopping Pot is important- and you’re helping out with that too.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Peter said, feeling a bit better. 

“It’s a good idea though. We’re definitely doing that. They’ll have to just vanish their shit.* It’ll be completely absurd! I can’t wait!” James said.

Remus cringed. “Surely they’d just use parchment or something instead until they get more?” He said hopefully.

“Either way, it’s an excellent prank,” Peter said. 

“Absolutely right,” James said brightly. “Sirius?”

“Hm?” Sirius said, having been nibbling on his Cauldron Cake.

“You’ve been quiet,” James said. 

Sirius shrugged. He glanced over at Remus and Peter before shifting. He scooted to put his feet up on the seat, and reclined back so that his head was in James’s lap and he was looking up at the top of the train. 

James reached down and ran his fingers through Sirius’s hair. “I wish your mum didn’t get you all out of sorts,” he said. 

“She’s not my mum anymore,” Sirius said.

He didn’t dispute it, just kept running his calloused fingers through Sirius’s hair. After a moment, Sirius shut his eyes, relaxing with James’s surprisingly gentle touches. “Love you,” he said softly.

“Love you too, Prongs,” Sirius said.

“D’you want to do the toilet paper prank first? Might put us all in a better mood,” James suggested.

Sirius grinned, although it wasn’t as genuine as he would have liked. “Good idea!” he said.

“That might put us in detention for a bit. It’ll be awhile before we can sort out the Hopping Pot then,” Remus reminded him.

“The toilet paper is an excellent prank though. You think we should do it first too, don’t you Peter?” James said.

“Yes!” Peter said through a mouth full of ice mice.

“It’s decided, then,” James said briskly.

Remus shrugged. “We’ll get the Hopping Pot eventually,” he said. “How are we going to go about it exactly though?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll get us into Bellatrix’s house. She’s taking over one of the smaller family homes. Aunt Druella used to take us there sometimes,” Sirius said. “We’ll work on a map and a plan for getting in and out smoothly— after we take all of the Slytherin’s toilet paper that is.”

They all seemed to settle then, Sirius continuing to rest partly on James’s lap, but neither Peter nor Remus commented on it. They talked more about their summers and plans for the school year until they reached Hogwarts.

_______________________________________________

They headed towards Transfiguration class, but passed Snape in the corridor.

He blocked their way.

“Move it,” James told him.

“Still strutting around with a murderer, are you Potter?” Snape snapped.

“He didn’t murder anyone,” James said, drawing his wand. Sirius’s was out almost as quickly.

“Attempted murder then,” Snape said, glaring at Sirius and drawing his own wand “Of course, you’re no better.”

“Shouldn’t talk to me like that when I’m the one that saved you,” James said.

Remus grimaced and reached his hand out to try to interject and stop them, but they kept going.

“Like you’re any better. Doing the ‘Dark Lord’s’ bidding yet?” Sirius said.

“I’m not the one that’s practically a killer,” Snape told him.

“Piss off,” James snapped.

“I’d watch my back, Potter. Black is an absolute nutter.. I suspect that it’s all of the family’s inbreeding- turns brains to goo,” Snape said. 

“At least he’s got brains. I wonder where your mother put yours?” James said. 

“Shut up,” Snape snapped. 

“Hit too close to the truth?” James asked.

“Potter, Black, Snape!” Professor McGonagall’s voice rang out. “All of you detention this evening. 

“Separate detentions?” Sirius asked. 

Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes at them. “Yes. Get to class all of you. Ten points from Slytherin and twenty from Gryffindor.”

James glared at Snape as he headed into the classroom, Sirius, Remus and Peter following behind him. 

Class was uneventful after that, with James and Sirius passing notes and exchanging insults about Snape back and forth (they were still perfecting a variation on a way to imply that Snape’s nose was bigger than his privates)  while Remus listened to the lecture and Peter daydreamed. 

_____________________________________________

He was stuck with Professor McGonagall while James was in the trophy room, polishing various trophies.

Sirius was stuck silently reading, which wasn’t too awful. It was a decision made so that Professor McGonagall could keep an eye on him while she was grading. It was still dull, because he couldn’t talk, so he was stuck holding his book up and making faces at James in their two way mirror.

He eventually resorted to scribbling notes down on scrap paper, as if he were diligently taking notes, and then showing them to James.

_ I’m bored. I’d rather be polishing trophies with you _ .

He looked to see James’s face before James scribbled a note back.  _ I’d polish your trophy _ .

Sirius smirked.  _ I’d polish your trophy first. _

James grinned at him and stuck his tongue in his cheek, moving his hand in front of his mouth in a tugging motion.

Sirius scribbled another short note on the paper.  _ I would if we could get any privacy _ .

James smiled at him.  _ We’ll get some privates-y _ .

Sirius rolled his eyes, still smirking. 

_ I can’t believe Snape landed us in detention. _

James nodded at him.   _ Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? _

Sirius raised an eyebrow and scribbled out another note.  _ Don’t I always go to Hogsmeade with you? _

James smiled and shook his head.  _ I meant like a date. That’s different. Will you go to Hogsmeade with me on a date? _

Sirius felt his heart flutter at that and he smiled a goofy smile. It was nice being asked on a date, and James could be truly romantic. He wasn’t sure how they were going to manage a date though, since neither one of them wanted stared at while they were together.

_ Of course I’ll go to Hogsmeade with you. _

“Sirius Black, stop passing notes to Potter,” Professor McGonagall said, looking up at him over her spectacles.

Sirius looked up at her.

She waved her wand and took the parchment and quill away.

James broke the connection with the mirror.

Professor McGonagall sighed. “Come sit over here,” she said.

Sirius flashed a charming smile and walked over, taking a seat closer to the desk, carrying the book with the mirror closed between the pages.

Professor McGonagall skimmed his notes and rolled her eyes. “Did you know that James’s parents have spoken to me about you?”

“No,” Sirius said, surprised.

“Well, they have. You have people that do care about you. I know that you’ve been having a difficult time with your family,” she said. She paused, giving him an opportunity to say something. He didn’t take it.

“Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter are concerned about you. You’ve been in a lot of trouble—“

“I don’t know about that. I haven’t done anything too horrible this year,” Sirius protested.

“Have you considered that since your estrangement with your parents, you need to be carefully considering careers for after school?” Professor McGonagall asked.

“Disowned. I was disowned, not just estranged,” Sirius corrected.

Professor McGonagall sighed. “Be that as it may… you need a career after school. Your marks are phenomenal, but no one is going to want to work with you if you keep having issues with authority. All careers have regulations and rules to follow, just as a school does,” she told him. “You understand the importance of trying to follow rules? You do have to manage to fit in with your coworkers you know.”

“I plan on marrying rich,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Then could you find some other motivation to follow the rules?” Professor McGonagall asked him. 

“Tired of seeing my smiling face in detention?” Sirius asked brightly.

“I would assume that you would be sick of detention by now,” Professor McGonagall said.

Sirius shrugged. “It’s not so bad.”

“Perhaps we should make it less pleasant,” Professor McGonagall told him.

“It doesn’t help when you share your biscuits,” Sirius said, reaching over and taking one from her tin.

“Sirius, I’m going to be very direct with you. The Potters are concerned about the rule breaking. It’s very frequent. I can’t talk to them as much as I would like because they’re not your official guardians. I’m only permitted to speak with your family. If you’re not going to work on changing your behavior then, then at the very least, please talk to them about it,” Professor McGonagall pressed.

“Are they angry? Are they going to kick me out?” Sirius asked, genuinely worried now.

“No, they’re not angry. They’re worried about you,” Professor McGonagall said.

“Are you talking to my parents?” Sirius asked worriedly.

“No,” Professor McGonagall admitted. “I do have some discretion available to avoid discussing your behavior. I do give them the standard updates about your progress that are expected, but I don’t tell them anything beyond that, as you are living with the Potters.”

Sirius sighed with relief. 

“Work on behaving a bit better. Can you promise me that you’ll try?” she asked. "At least talk to someone if you're having troubles."

“I’ll try,” Sirius said quietly.

“You’re free to go now,” Professor McGonagall told him.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, taking another biscuit for himself and one for James. “Can I go help James with his detention now?”

“Definitely not,” Professor McGonagall told him. “You’re to go straight back to your dormitory or you’ll be back here next week as well.”

“No fun,” Sirius said. He headed out of the classroom with his book and mirror.

“James Potter,” he said, calling him into view. “McGonagall says that I can’t help you with your detention. Are you about finished?”

“Just about. I’ll meet you outside of the trophy room. Just finishing up,” James said.

“I’ll see you there,” Sirius told him, heading to meet James.

James arrived not long after he did, going over and slinging an arm around his waist in a one armed hug. “How was McGonagall? Slughorn was obnoxiously dull.”

“She just lectured me a bit about my future and misbehaving,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Do you want to go out for a bit?”

“We should lay low for a while,” James said thoughtfully. “I hate Snape. He gets us into extra unplanned trouble.”

“I miss spending time with just you,” Sirius told him.

“Me too,” James admitted. “It’s a bit different staying in the dormitories again.”

“No privacy,” Sirius said.

“Exactly. D’you want to sneak out to Hogsmeade? Or up to the astronomy tower?” James asked. 

“Either one would be fun,” Sirius agreed. 

“What do you think you two are doing?” Regulus asked quietly, from behind them.

“Don’t sneak up on people like that,” Sirius said, whirling around to face him. “Were you following us?”

“You’re going to get in trouble,” Regulus said instead of answering.

“We are not. Piss off,” Sirius said.

“You were talking about going to Hogsmeade. That’s not allowed. You’re going to upset Mum again,” Regulus said. 

“We’re not talking about going today,” James lied easily.

“I know that you both sneak out of the castle. Mum sent me a letter about keeping an eye on you,” Regulus told them. “You really do keep upsetting her.”

“She’s not really upset,” Sirius said. “Now leave us alone.”

“Even if you’ve been disowned, it still upsets her when you get in trouble. It still reflects back on the family you know,” Regulus said.

“It only upsets her because she can’t seem to get it through her head that we’re all separate people. It doesn’t reflect that badly on her, and she’s the one that’s shameful. Not everyone thinks like our family does,” Sirius said.

“You’re just jealous,” Regulus said, smirking. “Because she likes me better. She does still love you, you know.”

“She doesn’t,” Sirius snapped, starting to walk away.

“What did you tell Uncle Alphard that she does to you?” Regulus asked, tilting his head and looking at him as if Sirius were a puzzle. “You didn’t answer last time I asked about whether you said that she hits you.”

“I didn’t say that,” Sirius said. “Is that what Mum said?”

“Are you calling Mum a liar? I think we know who the liar is here,” Regulus said.

“I didn’t tell him that. He had problems with how she was treating me,” Sirius said.

“She would treat you better if you weren’t always getting into trouble,” Regulus said. 

“You’re delusional,” Sirius said. “We’re not doing anything that you can report us for, so you can piss off.”

“She would let you come back, you know. As long as you never marry a mudblood,” Regulus told him. “That’s the real betrayal- I think she could tolerate just about  _ anything _ else.”

“Don’t use that word,” Sirius snapped. 

“Well, it’s not like you’re going to be dating a mudblood, right?” Regulus said, glancing at James curiously. 

“Say that word again and I’ll hex you,” Sirius said.

“Threatening your own brother?” Regulus asked, both eyebrows raised and smiling.

“Piss off,” Sirius said.

“Go bother someone else,” James said, taking hold of Sirius’s arm and strutted away from him. 

“Wait. You have to tell me something. Mum always says that you’re not bright, and even possibly bad at magic. She says that’s why you spend time with mudbloods and muggles- so you can feel better about yourself and more confident,” Regulus said. 

“Fuck off!” Sirius shouted. 

“Wait! I need to know. How did  _ you _ get out of the castle?” Regulus asked.

“Got somewhere you need to be?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I have people that I need to meet with,” Regulus told him. “How do you do it?”

“I’m not telling  _ you _ ,” Sirius said. “Aren’t you the ‘ _ good’ _ one? What do you need to sneak out of the castle for?”

“I need to do someone a favour,” Regulus said.

“Something you don’t want our dear hairy hearted- assuming she even has a heart- mum knowing? Sirius asked. 

“I’ll just figure it out if you don’t tell me,” Regulus said. 

“Then do that,” Sirius said. “Go join your Death Eater friends! Find a way to do it by yourself, because I’m not helping you.”

Regulus just watched them head off, expression unreadable.

“He’s obnoxious,” Sirius muttered.

“It worked though. We’re not leaving the castle after that,” James said quietly.

“He’s a knobhead,” Sirius said, hurrying up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.

“He is,” James agreed. “D’you think he’s figured out about us?”

“Doesn’t matter if he has. What are my parents going to do? Disown me a second time? It’s done,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “It’s finished. I don’t care what they think. Your parents are great about it. It doesn’t matter at all."

“You’re right,” James said quietly.

They headed back into the dormitory. 

“How was detention?” Remus asked.

“Not bad. McGonagall had gingernewts again,” Sirius said. “We ran into Regulus on the way back though— he’s a prat.”

Once they were inside, James set his wand on his bedside table. “Did you realize that Regulus is jealous of you?” he asked.

“Jealous of me? He hasn’t been jealous of me since I was about nine or so,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“He was. He had no idea how we managed to get out of the castle, and it bothered him that you bested him at something,” James said.

“He didn’t look bothered,” Sirius said.

“He hardly reacts to anything,” James said. “He’s an odd one. He was extremely jealous though.”

Sirius shook his head. “I don’t think that he’s jealous. Anyway, want to grab the invisibility cloak and go to the Astronomy Tower?”

James grabbed his cloak. “He’s beyond jealous,” he told him, slinging the cloak over the both of them. “Let’s go.”

“What are you going to the Astronomy Tower for?” Peter asked them sleepily.

“Er,” James said, glancing between them. 

“Don’t get into unnecessary trouble. It’s still the beginning of the year. If you’re going to go snog each other, just do it in here and be quiet about it,” Remus said. 

“Really?” James asked.

“Really. You don’t mind, do you Peter?” Remus questioned.

“Erm, well, I suppose if it’s only snogging and we don’t hear it,” Peter said.

James looked hesitant for a moment. He looked at Sirius and raised an eyebrow.

Sirius shrugged.

“We’ll stay then,” James decided, folding up his invisibility cloak. He grabbed out a pair of pyjamas and started changing.

Sirius looked away to change as he felt uncomfortable at the idea of being caught looking at James. He changed into a pair of Gryffindor pyjamas that he still wasn’t sure whether they belonged to James or himself originally. 

He climbed into his own bed and shut the curtains on the bed most of the way, looking over at James.

James nodded once and slid under his sheets next to him. He wrapped an arm around his waist and curled close around him, pressing a soft kiss to Sirius’s neck through a mess of long black locks.

He wordlessly turned towards James, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and tucked against him. Fingertips brushed lightly over his lips, and Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to them, smiling at him. 

James mouthed something unintelligible to him, and Sirius cocked his head curiously.

He shook his head and rather than talk or try again, he tugged Sirius tightly against him, holding him closer. He pressed their lips together, kissing him softly.

Sirius parted his lips and kissed James more deeply. It had been a while since either of them had managed to be this close, and the kisses were more needy than he had expected either of them to be. 

James rested his hands on Sirius’s backside, pulling him flush against him and kissing him harder.

Sirius speculatively ran his own hand down, fingers skimming just inside the top of James’s pyjama bottoms. He felt James shake his head and press another kiss just below his ear, moving Sirius’s hand away.

“I love you,” James whispered near silently in his ear.

“I love you too,” Sirius whispered back.

James squeezed him tighter.

It took Sirius a while to calm before his heart stopped racing at having James in his bed, holding him in his arms. He listened to James’s steady breathing, and snickered once at Remus mumbling something in his sleep- heard just barely over Peter’s snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - "They’ll have to just vanish their shit.* It’ll be completely absurd! I can’t wait!” James said.   
> This is referencing the thing JKR posted and idk this is how I amuse myself apparently.


	14. Chapter 14

“We can’t all go to the Three Broomsticks,” James said, sounding exasperated. He paced around the dormitory. 

“Why not?” Peter asked. 

“Well, if Sirius and I are going there and you two are there then it’s hardly a date,” James complained. 

“We don’t mind giving you privacy, but if you’re not going to be snogging, then I don’t see why we can’t come along,” Peter said. 

“They just want time by themselves, I’m sure,” Remus said.

“Wait- you’re not going to be snogging right?” Peter asked as he realized that it could be a possibility. “In public? I thought it was a secret.”

“It’s not exactly a secret,” James said flustered. “We just don’t want people staring at us.”

“Then you won’t be snogging,” Peter said decisively.

“You both said that you were fine with giving us privacy,” James said.

“We’ll be sitting at different tables. I don’t know what the big deal is,” Peter said.

James groaned. “Fine. We’ll just sit at different tables,” he said.

“I just thought you would go to Madam Puddifoot’s or something,” Peter said.

“We  _ can’t _ go to Madam Puddifoot’s, idiot,” Sirius said, sounding frustrated. He was now staring at his two way mirror looking decidedly displeased with a pile of unused cosmetics sitting on the bed, save for the khol on his eyelids. He teetered on the edge of a punk look and just a bit too much— and any further cosmetics added to his mostly bare face would make it obvious that it wasn’t just an outing between friends but rather James and him on a  _ date _ . It was complicated.

He wanted to wear what he wore at home during the summer with James, but knew that it was complicated. He felt ridiculous for wanting to wear it at all or caring either way, because it didn’t really matter—

James frowned and gently reached over, wordlessly squeezing Sirius’s hand gently. Sirius swallowed and nodded, putting the mirror down. He wrapped his arms around James who held him extra tight.

“We’ll go do something else, right Peter?” Remus suggested lightly.

“We always go to the Three Broomsticks,” Peter protested.

“We could take turns in the Three Broomsticks,” Remus suggested.

“It’s fine. We’ll find something to do. If we end up at the Three Broomsticks we’ll sit at separate tables,” James said, pulling back and taking Sirius’s hand. He dropped it before they got out of the dormitory though.

The walk to Hogsmeade was exactly like their usual ones. It was filled with their banter and was entirely friendly.

Once they got to Hogsmeade, they split up with James and Sirius heading side by side to Honeydukes.

“See if I buy Peter any sweets,” James muttered. “No sense of privacy.”

“He doesn’t really get it,”  Sirius said with a shrug. He looked at the sweets, trying to decide.

“Fizzing whizzbees, and chocolate?” James asked. 

“Sounds good. I think cauldron cakes too,” Sirius decided. 

“How many?” James asked.

“Get a bunch,” Sirius decided.

James grabbed an exorbitant amount of sweets and paid for them. James put them in his bag.

They headed back outside and found an out of the way bench, sitting down together.

“Sorry it’s a bit brisk out,” James said.

Sirius frowned and leaned against him. “It’s a bit cold,” he said. The autumnal air had a chill to it, in spite of the leather jacket that Sirius was wearing.

“Sorry,” James said again. He slung his arm around Sirius’s waist, drawing him in closer.

Sirius leaned his head against James’s shoulder. “If we get too cold I’m going to make you buy me something warm from the Three Broomsticks to warm us up,” he said.

“We can go in if you’d like,” James said.

“Can’t sneak any snogging in a crowded pub,” Sirius told him. He leaned over and stole a quick peck while he was sure no one was looking.

James blushed and looked around to make sure that they were truly alone enough before leaning in and pressing their lips together gently.

Sirius smiled against his lips, both of them lingering like that for a long moment. 

They broke apart before anyone could see. 

“Not really fair, is it?” Sirius said quietly.

“No, it’s not,” James said quietly.

“Can’t kiss you. Can’t even wear the clothes that I want. Can’t do anything even if everyone else can just snog without any trouble!” Sirius said.

“I know,” James whispered, squeezing his hand.

When James started shivering, Sirius wrapped his arms around him tightly, rubbing his back to warm him up.

“Maybe we should go inside,” Sirius conceded when he got uncomfortable as well.

“Yeah,” James agreed. His glasses were fogged up from their warm breath and the chill of the air.

Sirius looped his arm through James’s and they headed to the Three Broomsticks.

“There you two are. I was wondering what you were up to,” Madam Rosmerta said when they reached the counter.

“I knew you’d miss us,” Sirius said with a grin.

“What sort of trouble have you been up to lately?” Madam Rosmerta teased.

“Trouble? Us?” James asked innocently.

“Never,” Sirius said.

Madam Rosmerta laughed. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

“I want a raspberry crumble,” James said.

“The same for me- and a hot spiced cider for both of us,” Sirius said.

“All right. Take a seat and I’ll bring it over,” Madam Rosmerta told them after James had paid.

James and Sirius waved as they passed Remus and Peter, finding an out of the way booth. James sat down and Sirius scooted in closer than they normally sat in public. It wasn’t that different from the times that they had ditched Remus and Peter in the past to sit together just as friends. 

“I’m glad it’s warmer in here,” James said. He laced his fingers through Sirius’s, using the table and his legs to hide that they were holding hands.

“Me too,” Sirius said, squeezing his hand gently. 

Sirius looked at him hesitantly before leaning his head against James’s shoulder again. 

James squeezed his hand. “Not really fair that I can’t take you to Madam Puddifoot’s,”  he said. “I’d really like to, y’know.”

“Can’t be helped. This is really nice, Prongs,” Sirius said. 

“Two raspberry crumbles and hot apple ciders,” Madam Rosmerta said.  She frowned. “Why the faces? Everything okay?”

“We’re fine,” James said brightly.

“Just tired,” Sirius said with a large fake yawn. He kept leaning against James.

“If you say so,” Madam Rosmerta said skeptically. “Would you like two butterbeers on the house?”

“Spoiling your best customers! I approve,” Sirius said.

Madam Rosmerta smiled. “Can’t have you two down- you keep the place lively.”

James grinned. “We’re fine. We don’t need the extra butterbeer. Thank you though,” he said. 

“All right. Cheer up,” she told them, before leaving them alone. 

Across the room, they Mulciber and Rosier were talking to Snape about muggleborns. James and Sirius glanced at each other knowingly. When one of them slipped and said ‘mudblood’ James nodded at Sirius with a smirk.

Sirius waved his wand and Snape’s butterbeer tipped over drenching them all. 

James snorted and they looked away, as if they weren’t the cause of it.

“I hate him,” Sirius said.

“He deserves so much worse,” James said.

“He does. We’re going to get at him though,” Sirius sad.

“We will,” he agreed.

James was quiet for a moment. “I really miss you sometimes,” he said.

“I’m right here,” Sirius pointed out. 

“I miss it being just us,” James corrected himself. 

“Me too,” Sirius said quietly. 

James pulled out their Marauder’s map then, spreading it out on to the table as they ate.

“The dormitory is occupied,” Sirius said sourly as he looked over the map. “Frank has Alice in there.”

“The astronomy tower is too,” James said.

“Wouldn’t want to do it there anyway,” Sirius said. “It’s been ages. You have no idea how much I need this.”

“I’m sure I’ve got a pretty good idea,” James said with a grin.

“You  _ really _ have no idea,” Sirius said shaking his head. He dropped his voice low. “I hear you tossing off at night you know.”

“I’m quiet!” James protested, laughing with embarrassment. He whispered then.“You’re the one that makes noise.”

“I’m quiet too!” Sirius protested. “And you are  _ very _ quiet. You are! I just- I know what you sound like during it all so I  _ know  _ when you’re doing it.”

“Yeah? Well, I know when you’re doing it too,” James told him. “Every time. And I can tell when you’re tossing off normally and when you’ve got your fingers up inside of you.”

Sirius’s face reddened and he laughed. “I think about us together when I hear you. That’s why the astronomy tower isn’t enough. I want more than just tossing off quickly in our secret passageways.”

“Me too,” James told him. 

Sirius licked his lips and whispered far more quietly so that James could only barely hear him. “Sometimes, at night when I listen to you- it’s just not enough. I use my fingers and it still doesn’t feel like enough. And I think about your fingers in me, and it’s  _ still _ not enough,” Sirius told him.

“What are you saying?” James asked softly.

Sirius squirmed, and James reached down, squeezing his hand. 

When Sirius spoke again it was still nearly inaudible. “I’ve transfigured things to use instead of fingers, bigger than fingers, and I just need you- and sometimes I think about…”

“About what?” James asked.

Sirius licked his lips. “You know,” he mumbled, red faced as he looked downwards. James knew exactly what he meant with where Sirius was looking. He shifted a little, scooting his thighs apart subtly.

“I think about it too,” James told him.

“Dunno where we can go,” Sirius mumbled. 

James unfolded more of the map, looking at it. “If you’re sure about it…”

“Yeah. I think I am. It’s never enough- the wanking or my fingers instead of yours. I think about you doing it a lot- and doing more than just using your fingers,” Sirius said.

James chewed his lip. “I promise I’ll be gentle. If you change your mind, we can just do what we normally do. I know you’re really worked up right now because we haven’t had a chance to do much since school started.”

Sirius squeezed James’s hand. “Isn’t there a single safe empty room in the entire castle?” he grumbled. 

“D’you want to try my summer home?” James asked then. “I don’t want to do it crammed in a secret passageway or anywhere we’ll get caught.”

Sirius nodded. 

James stood and they left half finished food on the table with a tip of several galleons.

“We’re going to use your Floo,” James told Madam Rosmerta on the way to the fireplace. “Going to visit home for a bit.”

“You’re really not supposed to,” Madam Rosmerta said, although she didn’t protest much, letting them go.

James and Sirius went through the floo and arrived at James’s parents’ summer home.

He kissed him then, wrapping his arms around Sirius tightly. Sirius kissed him back eagerly, but when they pulled apart he blushed.

Sirius laughed nervously, as it sunk in that they really  _ could _ do what they’d discussed. It was thrilling and nerve-wracking at the same time. “Maybe… maybe you were right. Maybe I’m not quite ready,” he said quickly. He chewed at his lip.

“That’s fine. I said it and I meant it. We’ll just do what we normally do and we’ll work up to it some other time,” James assured him, hugging him more gently. “I had a few really nice date ideas for before we did  _ that  _ anyway. We probably should wait”

Sirius swallowed and nodded. He kissed James’s lips more tenderly that time.

“What are you two doing here?” 

Sirius jumped. They pulled apart, but James kept hold of Sirius’s hand.

“What are  _ you _ doing here?” James asked, surprised.

“Maintenance,” Fleamont told him. He looked at both James and Sirius suspiciously. “I usually make sure everything is working and clean here regularly. You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m on a date with Sirius,” James said. “Hogsmeade is er… well, we can’t exactly have a proper date there.”

Fleamont’s face fell at that. “Right. That’s true. I’m sorry. Right… Well, as long as you’re back at Hogwarts before you get in trouble, I don’t see why not,” he said. “No one is giving you trouble are they? You’re not being bullied or anything?"

James shook his head. “People don’t er, really know,” he said.

“As long as you’re both okay,” Fleamont said.

“We’re not being bullied Dad. Don’t worry about it,” James reassured him.

“If you’re sure,” Fleamont said, although he still looked concerned. “You can stay here. Just keep the door to your room open.”

James glanced at Sirius. “Right… I- erm... Is Mum home? I think we’ll go home and say hi to Mum too though,” he said. 

“She is,” Fleamont confirmed.

“We haven’t eaten yet, and you don’t keep food here, so that’s a good idea,” Sirius lied.

“We don’t want to get in your way either,” James said brightly.

“Oh. Well, have fun,” Fleamont told them, looking baffled as if they were up to some sort of trouble that he hadn’t quite figured out.

“Thanks. Cheers, Dad,” James told him. 

“Cheers Mr. Potter-dad,” Sirius said, following James back to the floo.

They went through and ended up back home.

“James! Sirius! What a surprise!” Euphemia said brightly, coming over immediately to hug them both.

“Just dropping in for a bit,” James said. “Sirius and I were on a date in Hogsmeade, but we couldn’t really have a proper date.”

“I’m sorry,” Euphemia said gently. “I know it has to be hard.”

Sirius awkwardly shuffled his feet. “Not too bad,” he said.

“It’s just not as properly romantic as what our friends can manage,” James said. “Frank and Alice have an easier time of it.”

“Yeah, they can actually kiss in public,” Sirius muttered.

“I’m glad that you felt comfortable coming home. I’m glad to see both of you,” Euphemia said.

“Glad to see you too,” James and Sirius said at the same time.

They glanced at each other. 

“We’re just going to go listen to Sirius’s records for a bit before Dad gets home,” James said.

“Mr. Potter hates my music,” Sirius said. 

“All right,” Euphemia said. She pursed her lips. “James? Come here a second.”

James raised an eyebrow, but stepped closer to his mother. 

“Could you do me a favour?” she asked in a whisper.

“Sure, Mum. What?” James asked. 

Euphemia whispered more quietly then. “Make sure that you do your laundry before you go back to Hogsmeade. It’s just polite and our house elves do have delicate sensibilities.”

James’s face reddened and he nodded. “I’ll do that,” he said. “Sorry.”

Euphemia nodded and waved him off.

James took Sirius’s hand and tugged him up out of the room.

“What was that about?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t think we’ve been as sneaky about stuff as we’ve thought we were being. Don’t worry about it though,” James told him, tugging him up the stairs quickly to his room, holding his hand tight.

____________________________

James always flew so beautifully.

Sirius had spent hours watching him over the summer, and watched him now as if the rest of the Quidditch match didn’t matter at all. He was in the air, doing agile swoops and plays that Sirius couldn’t look away from. 

He jumped up and stood when James pulled off a particularly impressive play. “Go James! GO! WOO!” he screamed from the stands. James swooped overhead really close by him and flashed him a grin and a wink before zipping to the other end of the Quidditch pitch and getting the quaffle through the hoops.

Sirius lightly touched his own lips, remembering how often James had swooped down over the summer to kiss him, wishing that they could be more open- that James could kiss him like Frank kissed Alice. He wished.

It was entirely possible that James would have if Sirius would let him. 

He could have his favorite chaser, his boyfriend, his James swooping down in the middle of a Quidditch game to kiss him just to show off.

The next time James swooped past, Sirius blew him a kiss.

“Risky,” Remus murmured at his side.

“No one had their eyes on me- just on James,” Sirius said.

“You’re right,” Remus said. 

James sent the quaffle sailing through the hoop again, scoring more points. 

“WOO!” Sirius shouted, clapping his hands. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind him to see his brother.

“What do you want?” Sirius asked.

“I wanted to ask you again if you could tell me a way out of the school,” Regulus asked.

“I told you that we’re not helping you,” Sirius said, and turned back to watching the game.

“Even if I told you that Uncle Alphard talked to Mum again?” Regulus asked.

Sirius turned back around. “What did she say? What did he say?” he asked.

Regulus smiled and raised his eyebrows. “Ah-ah. I’m not telling you unless you tell me a way out of the castle,” he said.

“What do you need out for? You’re already out on weekends at Hogsmeade. What do you need out for?” Sirius asked, shaking his head.

Regulus shrugged. “Aren’t you curious about what Mum and Uncle Alphard talked about?”

Sirius’s throat went dry. “You’re lying. He said that he wouldn’t talk to Mum anymore.”

“Well, he talked to her. Mum said so,” Regulus told him with a smile that looked pleasant, but Sirius knew was purely diabolical.

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything that Mum says. You’re doing this on purpose,” Sirius shouted.

“Shhh, Sirius, people are watching us,” Remus said. “Shhh.”

“It doesn’t matter if I tell you or not. Mum talked to Uncle Alphard. I thought you said that he believed you?” Regulus said.

“What did he say?” Sirius shouted.

“Sirius!” Peter squeaked.

“What did they fucking say?”

Regulus laughed and shook his head.

“Tell me!” Sirius said, shoving him.

“I won’t unless you tell me what I want to know. Why? Afraid you’re not Uncle Alphard’s favorite anymore? I noticed he hasn’t sent you any letters. I wonder why that is? I thought that you said that he believed your lies about Mum,” Regulus said, not bothered at all by being shoved.

“I don’t want to hear it! You’re lying!” Sirius screamed at him.

“Black! Both of you!” Professor McGonagall said, coming over through the students watching either the game or the fight, Professor Slughorn following behind her. 

“What is this about?” Professor Slughorn asked.

“My brother shoved me, sir,” Regulus said.

“I’m going to do worse than that, you fucking toerag! You won’t shut up about Mum,” Sirius said.

“Can’t help it that Uncle Alphard saw sense and talked to Mum,” Regulus said.

Sirius threw a punch then and knocked Regulus down the steps with the force of it.

“What was it really about?” Sirius shouted. 

“Detention and twenty points from Gryffindor, Sirius,” Professor McGonagall told him.

“But he-“

“Restraint. Come with me,” Professor McGonagall told him.

“But-“

“I’ll take more points,” Professor McGonagall warned.

Sirius glanced at his brother, and then back at the Quidditch pitch where James was hovering and watching. He sighed and followed Professor McGonagall through the stands. He sulked as he followed her back into the castle through the corridors and back to her office.

“Sit. What was that about?” Professor McGonagall asked him.

Sirius sat down and shrugged. 

“Black…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sirius told her, crossing his arms and putting his head down on the desk.

“I understand that family squabbles are difficult,” Professor McGonagall said. “But hitting your own brother?”

“He’s just parroting stuff that my Mum said. She’s using him to get at me,” Sirius said.

“If you would just talk about it-“

“It’s personal. May I have a gingernewt?” Sirius asked. 

Professor McGonagall sighed and scooted the tin towards him. 

He took one and took a bite before putting his head back down on the desk.

“What can I do to help?” Professor McGonagall said.

“Nothing. I don’t need help. My brother is an idiot,” Sirius mumbled.

“I’m going to have to write Mr. and Mrs. Potter to let them know that you were fighting with your brother,” Professor McGonagall said. 

“Yeah. S’fine,” Sirius mumbled. “As long as you don’t write my parents. Can I go watch the rest of the match?”

“I think not,” Professor McGonagall told him. 

Sirius groaned and kept sitting with his head down. 

Professor McGonagall got out a quill and started scrawling out a letter. Once she finished, she set it aside. 

“Are you sure that you don’t want to talk about it?” Professor McGonagall asked.

“No,” Sirius mumbled.

The door opened and they both looked up at the door.

James stood there awkwardly. “Hi, Professor. Erm, we won the match,” he said.

“Congratulations, Potter. I was speaking with Black,” she told him.

“I know. Is he okay?” James asked worriedly.

“Regulus is an idiot,” Sirius said, sitting up then.

“What did he say?” James asked.

“He said that Uncle Alphard was talking to Mum again and I just…”

James walked over and hugged him tightly. “Shit. Sorry Professor!” he said before Professor McGonagall could call him out on the language. “Regulus has to be lying. He has to be,” he said. 

Sirius chewed his lip. “What if he’s not? What if Uncle Alphard doesn’t believe me about Mum anymore? Or if he doesn’t… if he’s not fine with what I wrote in the letter?” he asked.

James tightened his hold on Sirius. “He believed you. He believes you, Sirius. He knows that your Mum is awful. Regulus is probably making stuff up about it. You know he’s a liar,” he said.

“Uncle Alphard hasn’t wrote me back though, has he?” Sirius pointed out, voice breaking.

“He will. I don’t know why he hasn’t,” James told him, patting his back.

“Would you like me to talk to him for you?” Professor McGonagall asked.

“No. S’fine,” Sirius said with a shrug. James let go of him gently then.  “When is my detention?”

“Tomorrow evening at our usual time. Behave yourself,” Professor McGonagall told him. 

“Er, thanks,” Sirius said. He looked up at James. “Want to go celebrate your Quidditch win?”

“Yeah, come on,” James said, tugging him up onto his feet. He hooked his arm through Sirius’s. “You sure you’re okay?”

“No,” Sirius said once they were in the corridor. “I actually liked Uncle Alphard. If Regulus is right…”

“Regulus lies for his own gain, and so does your mum. There could be tons of reasons for them talking. It doesn’t mean that he believes her, likes her, or that he’s upset with you,” James said. “Regulus desperately wants out of the castle. It’s best that you didn’t tell him. He’d say anything to get a way out.”

“Then why hasn’t Alphard sent me a letter back saying that it’s okay that I like blokes?” Sirius asked. “I was worried for a while that he was sick or something. He’s the only one in my family that I wanted to talk to and he just…”

“I’m sorry. We’ll write him again. We’ll try again. I’m sorry,” James said quietly. 

“Let’s just… let’s go celebrate the win. Did you see me when I blew you a kiss from the stands?” Sirius asked.

“Of course I did,” James said with a smile. “It made me really happy. I’m sure that I scored the next couple goals because of it. I’d have blown one back, but I thought people might have noticed that.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said quietly.

He kept mulling things over as they walked back to the common room together. James really didn’t mind the thought of people knowing about them. Then again, he hadn’t been all alone on a street with muggles calling him epithets that made his skin crawl. The idea of Regulus knowing, more importantly, of Walburga knowing, made him nervous. He wasn’t too bothered by the idea of Regulus knowing if he was honest. He likely already suspected. 

The more he thought about it, the less sense hiding it made. Really, what was his mother going to do? Disown him? She had already done that. He didn’t care what she thought. She already hated him for different reasons. Then again, she could send him letters. He wouldn’t read them. He’d already set a few howlers on fire before they could scream at him, and  threw the rest of the letters out. She could make Regulus pester him and make him miserable, but detentions didn’t bother him that much.

His uncle could have very well told her anyway. 

Celebration was already in full swing in the Gryffindor common room when they arrived.

“You were brilliant James!” someone told him as he high-fived him.

James grinned and received several more high-fives and pats on the back as they made their way through the crowd.

“Congratulations!” Frank told him, clapping him on the back.

“Thanks,” James said brightly. 

They made their way over to Remus and Peter.

“How much detention did you get?” Peter asked.

“Just one. Not bad,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Could be worse.”

“James! That was amazing!” Mary told him, coming up to them. 

“Thanks,” James said with a grin. 

“You scored so many goals in a row so quickly. Was that a new record?” Mary asked. She wasn’t flirting with him. It was all friendly. Sirius wasn’t jealous necessarily. He was just a bit more sad, because last year after a Quidditch win, James had been dating Mary, and they had snogged in the common room without issue. 

“Dunno,” James admitted.

Sirius kept looking at James thoughtfully. He still wore his Quidditch uniform. He was still somewhat sweaty. His hair was a complete windblown mess. He looked so quintessentially ordinary in spite of the way he excelled— yet somehow perfect. He didn’t look like the type that would snog Sirius, as much as he loved him.

“You alright there?” James asked after a moment. “You checked out there.”

Sirius licked his lips and nodded, gaze flicking down to James’s lips. 

“Hey,” James said softly, tone very gentle.

Sirius leaned down, but James put his fingers gently to his mouth to stop him and pulled him into a hug at the last moment, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

“Not right now. Not after– you’ve had a rough time today,” James whispered, lips brushing Sirius’s ear.

“But–“

“Later. So you won’t regret it, yeah?” James told him gently, pulling back with flushed cheeks. There would be enough talk just from how close they’d been– what had almost happened.

“I wouldn’t,” Sirius said.

“Bit impulsive,” James said and hummed. “Can’t go back to how it’s been if you do. It’s been a rough day. You sure?”

Sirius hesitated then. He caught sight of a few people giving them curious glances and felt his cheeks burn.

“C’mon,” James said and looped their arms, dragging him up to the dormitory. “I’m fine with it– it’s just that it would change things. We’d be safe, of course. I’d hex anyone that said anything. People would talk of course but...”

“I’d wanted to,” Sirius mumbled. “You’re right though. Bit risky.”

James nodded and tugged him over to the four poster bed. He kissed him gently and tenderly then. 

“Would we really be okay?” Sirius asked quietly, lips still brushing against his. 

“Might be hard. You already know that though,” James told him. “That’s why I stopped you. Didn’t want you to do it on impulse and really regret it. I really don’t mind people knowing, but your change of mind seemed sudden.”

Sirius licked his lips again and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss gently on James’s lips. He was nervous about it all falling apart, but with James there was always a soft landing— he seemed perpetually almost charmed to be lucky that way.“Not yet. You’re right,” he murmured. “Going to have to do it sometime before we get married though.”

James beamed at that. “I want everyone to know that you’re my future husband,” he murmured, pressing kisses to Sirius’s neck and making him shiver.

“Still haven’t proposed yet,” he reminded him.

“I’m working on it. That sort of thing takes planning, you know,” James told him.

Sirius smiled widely at that.

When James pressed him down onto the bed, it was definitely a soft landing, nervous laughter, and far more kissing. He felt untouchable like they did when they were flying. 

_____________________________________________   
  


“It’s not going to move like the Marauder’s Map— we have to actually be in the house to manage that, but a map will help us figure out the logistics,” Sirius said. He waved his wand over the parchment to make copies for James, Remus, and Peter. He was sprawled out across James’s lap in their dormitory, with Peter and Remus sitting on the bed as well. 

“So we’ll go in through this window here—”

“How are we getting there?” Peter asked. 

“We’re going to take the Floo from the Three Broomsticks to James’s house. We’ll take my motorbike from there to Bellatrix’s home. We’ll go in, find it, and fly back to James’s home. It’ll be easy,” Sirius said.

“How are we all going to fit on a motorbike exactly?” Remus asked skeptically.

“We’re not,” James said. “Wormtail will be in his animagus form and ride in Sirius’s pocket—”

“And James is going to fly on his broom,” Sirius said. “You’re going to ride on the back of my motorbike with me.”

“Well, that does settle the plan,” Remus said, although he looked skeptical. “Do we want to give it a go tonight?”

“We’ll be fine,” James said. 

“Bellatrix is a Death Eater though,” Peter said worriedly. 

“C’mon Peter. Be brave,” Sirius told him. “This is important. We’re not fighting Bellatrix. If you can’t even come with us to get back at Snape, how do you expect to be able to face real Death Eaters once we’re all Order members?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Peter said, although his voice was still squeaky with fear.

“What’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like Bellatrix is going to be that nasty to Sirius. She’s his cousin,” Remus said.

“Well, she has hexed me a few times,” Sirius pointed out.

“We’ll just go to Madam Pomfrey and get it sorted if it’s bad,” James said. “She doesn’t ask that many questions.”

“All right. We’ll do it,” Peter begrudgingly decided.

___________________________________________

The snuck out of the castle and into the Three Broomsticks. Once they were there, Madam Rosmerta made her way over to the table, looking at all of them as if they were trouble. 

“You shouldn’t be out of the castle. What are you doing over here so late at night?” she asked them.

“We have permission,” Sirius lied.

“We’re going to Floo over and surprise my parents,” James said.

Madam Rosmerta looked at them skeptically. 

“You wouldn’t tell on your favorite customers would you?” Sirius asked, sweetly enough that Madam Rosmerta’s frown disappeared.

“Don’t worry,” James said, smiling up at her.

“All right. Stay out of trouble and if anyone asks, I didn’t see you here,” she said, before leaving them to their own devices. 

“I can’t believe that she’s not going to tell on us,” Remus said surprised. 

“She loves us,” James said, nervously running his fingers through his hair nervously. “Good luck everyone. We’ll manage it. We’ll be in and out in no time.”

“It’ll be fine, Prongs,” Sirius reassured him. He leaned in and quickly pecked his lips. “See you there.”

“See you all soon,” James told them and headed outside with his Nimbus.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter took the Floo one by one to the Potter family home. 

It was dark when they got there, and everything was quiet save for the roar of the fireplace as they came through. Sirius crept quietly through the house, with Remus and Peter following behind him. They stepped through the back door and headed to the barn where Sirius’s motorbike was stored. 

“C’mon,” Sirius whispered. He levitated the motorbike and they walked a ways down the road with it, careful to get far enough away from the house before setting it down gently. 

Peter transformed into a rat, and Sirius lifted him up, placing him in his shirt pocket. He straddled his motorbike. “C’mon, Moony, don’t be nervous,” he said. 

“I hate your motorbike,” Remus said, although he climbed up onto it. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist. 

Sirius was surprised by how different it was riding with Remus compared to James. Remus was far more awkward holding onto him. Still, he drove through the sky, letting Remus tuck against him fearfully, hiding his face in Sirius’s back.

“This is awful. This is awful. I hate it. This is nothing like a broom,” Remus said.

“It’s great,” Sirius said with a laugh.

“I hate it,” Remus repeated. “I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!”

Sirius rolled his eyes and kept driving them through the sky. He landed them a ways from Bellatrix’s home, and kept driving the rest of the way. He parked a couple streets from the house.

Remus climbed off as soon as Sirius turned off the motorbike. “Awful,” he said. 

Sirius grabbed Peter out of his pocket and set him on the ground.

“It’s worse when you’re trapped in a shirt pocket. I’m all warm and sweaty,” Peter complained when he had changed back. He fanned his shirt and wiped sweat from his brow.

“Let’s go find James,” Sirius said. 

They headed to Bellatrix’s house. It was ostentatious in spite of being a smaller Black family home, with tall stone walls (it was some sort of expensive stone that wasn’t local to the area, but Sirius couldn’t remember what sort) as gates. Sirius knew the best places to climb over though, and easily led the others. They went around back to the window they had selected as their entry point. James was in his animagus form, leaning against the wall.

“Deer don’t lean against walls, mate,” Sirius told him.

James switched back and grinned. “I s’pose not,” he said. 

“Ready to head in?” Remus asked, peering at the window.

“Ready,” James said. He waved his wand at the window. “Alohomora.”

The window opened and James looked at it speculatively. “Help me up?” he asked Sirius.

Sirius helped lift James up, and he wriggled his way through the window. He did the same for Remus and Peter. 

James leaned down and helped tug Sirius up and into the house, clasping onto him tightly. 

“Now what?” Peter asked.

“We look for the Hopping Pot,” James said.

“I’ll check the kitchen,” Peter said. He switched back into his animagus form and scurried off. 

“Remus and I will share the invisibility cloak,” James decided. “Since you’re the least likely to get hexed really badly by Bellatrix.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said dryly, watching as Remus and James disappeared under the cloak. 

He crept quietly through the house, hating how eery it felt. It bothered him even though he had spent plenty of time there while growing up. He cringed at the house elf heads hanging from the walls. Each quiet creak in the floor made him feel jumpy as he walked down the corridors. 

The shelves inside the house were decorated with objects Sirius wouldn’t touch even on a dare, convinced that they were filled with dark magic. He cringed at seeing a few severed body parts, and realized that they might have gotten themselves in over magic. Bellatrix was into far darker magic than Sirius could have imagined.

“Oh, young Sirius Black isn’t supposed to be here anymore,” a house elf said, making Sirius jump. He looked at the small house elf, realizing that it was one of Kreacher’s relatives and inwardly cursed. 

“ _ Petrificus totalus _ ,” Sirius said, waving his wand. The house elf felt to the floor with a thunk.

He heard footsteps and turned, but didn’t see anyone.

Then James pulled off the invisibility cloak off of both him and Remus.

“We’re not supposed to make any noise,” James reminded him in a hushed voice.

“Couldn’t exactly help it,” Sirius said.

“You let me go!” the house elf squealed.

“Listen, this is more dangerous than we thought it was. Bellatrix has some really dark magic in here,” Sirius told him.

“We figured that out,” Remus said, looking a bit pale and fearful. “This is more than we were prepared for.”

Peter joined them a second later. “I’m scared. Let’s go home,” he said. 

“We have to find it first,” James insisted. 

“Oh, ickle children, not supposed to be here. Disgraced son of the Black family. Bellatrix won’t be happy,” another house elf said before disappearing with a pop.

“Shit,” Sirius cursed. 

“Let’s hurry and find it and get out,” James said. 

“Careful though— don’t touch  _ anything _ ,” Sirius told them. 

There was a shrieking noise and then suddenly Bellatrix had apparated in front of them.

“What do you think that you’re doing in my house?” Bellatrix demanded, looming over them. Even though she was just a fuzz shorter than Sirius, she still seemed to loom and exude a sense of power that had him terrified.

“Looking for something of mine,” Sirius said cheekily, through the fear.

“I don’t have anything of yours,” she said. “Stealing  _ my  _ stuff, are you?”

“We’re going to find it,” James said. 

“Where’d the fourth one of you go?” Bellatrix asked.

James, Sirius, and Remus looked behind them, but Peter was nowhere in sight.

“Rodolphus!” Bellatrix shouted. 

Rodolphus Lestrange was downstairs instantly. 

“There’s a fourth boy in our house. Find him,” she told him.

He apparated away.

“Bad luck,” Sirius commented mildly.

“Fucking hell. This was the worst idea,” Remus said as Bellatrix fired off a hex at them.

James and Sirius ran down the corridor, with Bellatrix chasing after them, firing hexes and curses all the way. 

“Accio Hopping Pot! Accio Hopping Pot! Accio Hopping Pot!” James shouted as they ran.

There was a clanging noise and they turned, seeing Remus fall to the floor, hit by a soaring cauldron. James dodged and rolled underneath Bellatrix’s night dress, scrambling along the floor.

He sent a spark from his wand, nailing Bellatrix in the back and knocking her over for a moment. 

James did an agile leap, nearly grabbing the Hopping Pot in midair. He landed directly on top of Remus.

_ Crack. _

They were gone in an instant.

“Dammit Prongs!” Sirius cursed, realizing that he was left alone in Bellatrix’s house. He dove  around Bellatrix and grabbed the Hopping Pot off of the floor, clutching it and not letting go.

“ _ Cruicio _ !” Bellatrix shouted.

“ _ Protego! _ ” he shouted, a second too late, collapsing down onto the floor in agony.

_ Crack. _

“Levicorpus!” James shouted, hitching Bellatrix up by her ankles. “C’mon, Padfoot, run!”

Sirius stood on shaky legs and started running. “Let’s apparate out of here,” he said, clutching the Hopping Pot tighter.

“I can’t. I’m scared. We can’t. I—Remus is splinched. Badly. I apparated him away, but he’s hurt and I can’t. I’ll hurt you badly if we apparate now. Just run,” James said, taking hold of his hand and dragging him through the house to the back window.

Bellatrix was close behind them already though, and fired off another curse, knocking James to the ground. 

“Levicorpus!” Sirius shouted. This time he levitated Bellatrix high into the sky, higher than her home was tall and then higher still. Then he let her fall.

She landed with a thudding crunching noise on the ground not three feet from them.

Peter changed back into his normal form and was beside them in an instant, shaking. “We’ve gotta get out of here,” he said. 

Rudolphus found them a second later.

“Go! Just go. Take a Floo back to Hogsmeade. Meet Moony where we usually meet for moons,” James told him, being intentionally vague. “He needs help.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Rodolphus told them, glowering. 

Bellatrix took a shuddering breath that hardly sounded human then, and Sirius cringed at the memory of having fallen off of his skateboard, knowing how painful that first breath after a fall could be.

Rudolphus turned to look at her long enough to give Peter time to change into his animagus form and scamper away.

“Get them!” Bellatrix shouted. “After them!”

Rudolphus whirled around. Bellatrix stumbled to her feet.

“Islington Green,” James whispered in Sirius’s ear before grabbing the Hopping Pot from him and running off in the opposite direction.

Rudolphus went after him. 

Sirius started running in a different direction. He ran faster when he heard Bellatrix chasing after him. He fired bursts of spells back at Bellatrix as he ran, dodging ones that she fired back at him. 

A flash of red light hit him and he felt searing pain arch across his back. He peripherally realized that he was bleeding, but just kept running.

“You’re going to bleed to death! Stop running and tell me what you were doing in  _ my  _ house!” Bellatrix shouted. 

Sirius didn’t answer and ducked down an alley. He jumped over a dumpster, and when he did, he changed into his animagus form and doubled back as Bellatrix went to the other side of the dumpster. He kept his head close to the ground and rounded another corner— then another, down multiple alleys. He kept padding along with his tail between his legs.

He changed back to his human form when he was further away, having stronger endurance and stamina that way. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and his vision was cloudy. His heart was going too fast.  _ Too _ fast. Yet he knew he wasn’t getting enough blood to his brain. He wasn’t sure whether the adrenalin was helping or hurting at this point- he was bleeding out quickly. His thinking was getting foggy and he wasn’t sure where he was. 

He kept walking though, too tired now to keep running. He recognized a restaurant and had to keep himself from crying in relief. He ran across the street to the Islington Green.

“Oh thank goodness,” James said, spotting him and running over. 

James didn’t look too great himself, with tattered clothing and a black eye. He wrapped his arms around Sirius tightly. 

“Are you all right?” Sirius asked.

“Are you?” James asked.

“I’m… not good,” Sirius admitted. 

“We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey,” James said worriedly. “Or somewhere. We’re going to be in so much trouble. You’re pale and bleeding.” He pulled his hands away and looked at the amount of blood in disbelief. “Definitely Madam Pomfrey.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, shaking a bit. He was stunned by the amount of blood on James’s hands. It didn’t seem real. It didn’t seem like it could be his. Yet, it was definitely his. 

“Well, well, well,” Bellatrix’s voice came. “Worried about my abomination of a cousin are you?”

James held his wand aloft again. “ _ Levicorpus! _ ”

“ _ Protego! _ ” Bellatrix shouted. “Not going to use that one on me again!”

James stood directly in front of Sirius, shielding him and casting hexes at Bellatrix, with her countering them and firing back with curses. 

“ _ Crucio _ !” Bellatrix shouted, and this one struck, knocking James to the ground screaming. He dropped the Hopping Pot onto the green.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Sirius shouted.

“ _ Crucio! _ ” Bellatrix said again.

He thought he was going to be sick at the sound of James’s agony. His screams were so desperate that he gagged and choked on them, body shaking as if he were seizing.

Sirius fired off curses of his own then, striking Bellatrix back from them. He wrapped his arms around James tightly.

James gasped and breathed heavily, making whimpering noise.

“It’s all right Prongs. You’re okay. Apparate us. Apparate us!” Sirius said desperately.

And then James did. He felt the rushing sickness from apparation—only he felt Bellatrix’s hand latch on and everything was all wrong. The direction changed and he thought that he was going to be sick.

He had expected to be in the Three Broomsticks. Instead, he found himself in Gideon and Fabian Prewett’s living room. Sirius couldn’t help puking onto the carpet.

“Help!” James screamed. “Help! Help us!” 

Then, because he didn’t know what to do, Sirius screamed for help too. “Help! A Death Eater’s got us!”

Gideon and Fabian Prewett rushed down the stairs in their nightclothes, wands raised.

Bellatrix whirled and turned her wand on them.

“Fucking shit,” Fabian said.

“Protego!” Gideon said, quickly enough to cast the spell to protect them from the curses that Bellatrix slung their way.

“Get out of here! James and Sirius! LEAVE! We’ll take care of her. Just get out!” Fabian shouted at them.

James threw the invisibility cloak over the pair of them. They watched Fabian and Gideon throw hexes and spells at Bellatrix while she tossed curses back at them.

When Bellatrix hit Gideon with a particularly nasty one, both James and Sirius threw the invisibility cloak off without consulting each other and fired off different spells, nailing Bellatrix in the back.

She quickly apparated away.

“Nice work. She probably thought that you were other Order members,” Fabian said. “Scared her off.”

“Well, we are in a way, aren’t we?” James said weakly. Sirius realized that James had tears running down his cheeks.

“Not officially, but we will be,” Sirius said. He wrapped an arm around James’s waist.

“We need to get you both to St. Mungos. What did she hit you with? Shit you’re in bad shape,” Gideon said.

“We can’t go yet. Bloody hell. We forgot the Hopping Pot in the green,” James said, eyes going wide.

“Oh no, you’re not going back out again tonight,” Fabian told them.

However, James had already grabbed his invisibility cloak. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius and then they disappeared with a pop.

Sirius fell over in the Islington Green and was promptly sick.

“Accio Hopping Pot,” James said. He triumphantly grabbed the pot midair by the foot and grinned.

“Nice one,” Sirius said, before being sick again. “Too much apparating. I’m never going to apparate again.”

James laughed and then his face paled.

Sirius looked behind him. If he had anything left in his stomach, he was sure that he would have thrown up again.

“Uncle Alphard. Fancy meeting you here,” Sirius said.

“Funny, that,” Alphard said mildly. “The alarm system and wards that I bought Bellatrix for her wedding went off tonight. Wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Sirius scrambled backwards on the ground until his back was against James’s legs.

“We’ve really got to go,” James said. “Bellatrix was after us and we need to get back to school-”

“Looking like that?” Alphard asked them. “I’ll take you back to my place. Less trouble.”

“Really? But…”

“How can we trust you?” Sirius asked. “How do we know that you’re on  _ our side _ ?”

Alphard rolled his eyes. “Always so dramatic. C’mon. You’re coming home with me- and your boyfriend too.”

Sirius pursed his lips.

Alphard stepped over to them and placed his hand on them both, apparating them out of the Islington Green. 

“Safer now. What did your cousin do to you?” Alphard asked.

“We had a fight,” Sirius said.

“It was more than a fight. She practically tried to kill you!” James said. “Sirius has lost a lot of blood. I don’t think he’s thinking quite clearly.”

Alphard knelt down and looked at Sirius closely. He cursed and started murmuring spells to heal him.

“I thought you hated me,” Sirius said. 

“I don’t hate you,” Alphard told him. “You’re my favourite nephew. I was a bit peeved about the whole… y’know, the thing with boys.”

Sirius pursed his lips and squirmed, looking away.

“It’s  _ fine _ . It’s fine now. I’m not angry,” Alphard said. “You’re still my favourite nephew. It just… took a bit.”

“Right,” Sirius mumbled. He looked up hopefully. “I’m really still your favourite?”

“You are,” he said quietly.  He stood and went to the cabinets, getting dittany out and dabbing some on Sirius’s arms. 

He looked at James then. “Why are you crying? You’re shaking. Scared? Or did Bellatrix hit you with a nasty spell?” he asked.

“She er… the cruciatus curse, sir,” James said. 

Alphard shook his head. “I ought to take both of you to St. Mungos,” he said.

“You’re not though, right?” Sirius asked hopefully.

“No. I’m not,” Alphard agreed. “You should both go lay down in the guest room,” he said. He tugged Sirius up and they headed into the guest room.

James set the Hopping Pot on the bedside table. He untied his shoes and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“Stay put,” Alphard told them. He left the room.

Sirius glanced at James. They both shrugged. Sirius slid off his shoes and climbed into bed, crossing his legs. 

James picked at the green quilt on the bed, shifting uncomfortably. He wiped at his eyes. “Well, it could be worse,” he said after a moment.

“It could,” Sirius said and sighed. “We got the Hopping Pot.”

James smiled. “We did,” he said quietly.

“You alright?” Sirius asked.

“Just a bit shaken up,” James said. “That was a nasty curse.”

Sirius nodded. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around James, patting his back. He wiped away a few tears and kissed his cheek. “It’ll be alright,” he murmured.

They pulled apart stiffly when Alphard came back in the room. “You can both stay the night. Just nothing too… you’re in my house so you need to follow my rules. I’d put you in separate rooms, but I only have the one guest room. So keep your hands to yourselves,” he told them, handing them both potions.

Sirius’s face reddened and he rolled his eyes. 

“You shouldn’t be sitting up either,” Alphard told Sirius.

He finished the potion before laying down on the bed. He did feel dizzy and tired. 

“Our friends are going to be worried about us,” James said. “I need to go back to the shrieking shack and let them know we’re okay.”

“You’re not going anywhere tonight. Send them an owl if you must. It was right dangerous doing it in the middle of the night though. What were you thinking?” Alphard asked them.

“Er,” Sirius said.

“You weren’t thinking. That was the problem. You have to  _ think _ ,” Alphard told him.

“We did have a nice plan,” Sirius said. “Just… Bellatrix was worse than we thought that she would be. She’s a bit…”

“Unhinged lately,” Alphard supplied.

“Right,” Sirius agreed.

“I was a bit of troublemaker when I was your age, but I’ve never seen anything like you two,” Alphard said, shaking his head. 

“Sorry,” Sirius said.

“I’m going to have to lie for you. You know that don’t you? You two are going to stay right here and not get into any funny business. I’m going to go talk to Bellatrix and convince her that I put you up to it so that she doesn’t file a report with the Ministry. You better hope that it turns out all right, and you better thank me when I get back,” Alphard told them.

“Thank you,” James said quietly, looking a bit pale.

“Thank you,” Sirius mumbled.

“I said when I get back. Don’t thank me now,” he told them, before disapparating with a pop.

James sighed. He set his glasses on the bedside table and lay down. He grabbed his wand and cast a lazy cleaning charm over them both. He rolled over next to Sirius and slung an arm around him. Sirius chewed at his lip and reached over gently, lightly wiping more of James’s tears. He was extra delicate around the start of a black eye.

“I didn’t think that Bellatrix was  _ that _ awful,” Sirius said. “I knew she was awful, but that was…”

“Yeah,” James whispered. He sniffled. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“It’s an awful curse. It messes with people. Some people have gone mad over it. I don’t think you’ll go mad. It’s just…”

“Awful,” James said, shaking his head. He wrapped his arms around Sirius tightly, still shaking. 

“It’s okay. We did it James. We found the Hopping Pot,” Sirius whispered.

“It was worth it,” James said quietly.

Sirius sighed. He listened to James’s quiet breathing and shut his eyes, wrapped up in his arms. He still felt dizzy and exhausted. His entire body seemed to ache, but the pain didn’t matter so much. Eventually exhaustion took over and he fell asleep, curled up around James.

_______________________

He groaned.

He knew it was James gently shaking him awake, but he still didn’t want to open his eyes.

“Sirius,” James said softly. “Wake up.”

“Urgh,” Sirius mumbled. 

Soft lips pressed lightly against his. He opened one eye.

“Morning,” James said softly. 

Sirius sat up slowly, feeling fuzzy headed.

“Your uncle’s houselves made breakfast,” James said. 

“Yeah. I can smell the bacon,” Sirius said. He slowly stood.

James took his hand and led him into the dining room. 

Alphard was seated and already eating. James and Sirius sat down awkwardly at the set places at the table. 

“How did it er, go yesterday?” Sirius asked him.

“You’re both idiots and could have gotten yourselves killed. I managed most of your mess, but at least you’re just going to deal with Hogwarts and Potter’s parents instead of Bellatrix and the Ministry,” Alphard said.

“Thank you,” James mumbled. 

“You need more dittany on your black eye there. The less awful you two look, the better. I don’t want you in  _ too  _ much trouble. We’re going over to Hogwarts right after breakfast.”

“What exactly…?” James asked.

“You were both doing me a favour. Bellatrix never gave me back my nice set of vanishing cabinets afterall. I had expected that you were going to do it over break and politely, but you two were a couple of idiots and went over in the middle of the school year. That’s the lie that we’re going with,” Alphard told them.

“Did you get your vanishing cabinets back?” Sirius asked curiously.

“No. She kept them as repayment for not filing a report with the Ministry,” Alphard said sourly. “In return, I’m not filing a report on her for using unforgivables. It’s all very complicated.”

“Right,” James mumbled, eating some of the bacon. 

Sirius chewed his lip. “Regulus said that you were talking to Mum again,” he said uncomfortably. “Is that true?”

“I did. I’m sick. I asked your mother for some information regarding you,” Alphard said.

“You’re sick?” Sirius asked worriedly.

“I’m not doing that poorly. It just got me thinking is all,” Alphard lied. “I needed to put together a new will since I’m not on speaking terms with my sister. I wanted to make you the sole beneficiary, so I needed to talk to her to find out some details to make it official.”

“Then… You do still believe me and you’re  _ not  _ friendly with her? You’re not on her side? You don’t hate me for having a boyfriend?” Sirius asked.

“Of course I don’t hate you. Don’t be dense. As I said, I wasn’t too happy about it, but I’m too old to worry about such things,” Alphard said. He reached over and awkwardly patted Sirius’s head. “Now finish your breakfast so that you can go get detention for the rest of the term or whatever they have planned for you.”

Sirius frowned and looked down at his bacon. He had the distinct impression that even though his uncle said that he was fine with it, he was just being polite about being unhappy with it. Their entire family was varying degrees of subtle about distaste for muggleborns or anything that displeased them. His uncle tended towards kindness if nothing else. 

“You’re my favourite uncle, and really my favourite out of the entire family— except maybe Andromeda,” Sirius mumbled.

“I know, Sirius,” Alphard told him. He patted his back again. 

Sirius chewed his lip and couldn’t help pushing more. “If I marry James, would you come to the wedding?”

Alphard just stared at them for a moment before nodding. “I’ll try to make it,” he agreed. “I’ll visit and buy you a wedding gift at the very least.”

Sirius smiled then and went back to eating.

“Even if you’re my favourite, you’re still in trouble. Detention will do you some good. This was way out of line and reckless,” Alphard told them. “You’re not getting out of it.”

Sirius groaned. 

_______________________

Getting chastised for sneaking out of the castle was  _ not  _ fun.

Even Professor McGonagall seemed to regret informing Sirius’s parents. He sunk down in the chair in the office while Walburga screamed at him, tuning her out for the most part. He thought that Professor McGonagall looked apologetic. The berating continued for ages. When Walburga had finally screamed herself hoarse, she had left him there.

“I am sorry,” Professor McGonagall said. “I did have to inform her over this incident since you did leave school grounds.”

Sirius shrugged.

“You probably don’t want to listen to a second lecture, but would you mind talking with Mr. and Mrs. Potter as well since you’re currently in their care? They should be here by now,” Professor McGonagall said.

“I don’t mind. Anything is better than listening to Mum,” Sirius said.

“She is very vocal,” Professor McGonagall said, shaking her head. 

Sirius shrugged. 

“I am truly sorry. I was legally obligated to contact them,” Professor McGonagall told him. “And I did warn you repeatedly.”

“Still could have said you did on paper and avoided it,” Sirius mumbled.

Professor McGonagall sighed. She stood and opened the door to the adjoining classroom.

“James Potter? Hello Fleamont, Euphemia,” she said kindly. She held the door open for them, letting them inside. 

Euphemia patted Sirius’s back before taking a seat. Fleamont sat next to her, and James sat between them and Sirius.

“As you know, they both snuck out of the castle,” Professor McGonagall told them.

“Did Remus and Peter get in trouble?” Sirius asked.

“Considering Mr. Lupin was the one that tried - and failed- to apparate out to try to stop you, I think not. Although,  _ should  _ Pettigrew be in trouble?” Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Er- no,” Sirius said. Remus was the  _ best _ liar, managing to worm his way out of trouble.

Professor McGonagall’s lips drew into a thin line. “I’ll talk to Mr. Pettigrew later.”

“You both promised that you would try to be good this year,” Fleamont said plaintively.

“Sorry, Dad,” James mumbled. “It was a weekend so we didn’t have classes.”

“It was a weekend?” Fleamont repeated incredulously. “That’s your excuse?”

“I’m sorry,” James mumbled. 

“I was thinking an entire month’s worth of detentions,” Professor McGonagall said.

“A month?” James asked, eyes wide. 

“A month is a bit extreme, don’t you think?” Euphemia said.

“It might do them a bit of good,” Fleamont said.

“Don’t be ridiculous. They’ve learned their lesson. Haven’t you?” Euphemia said. “Two weeks of detention at most…”

“Oh, yeah! Not doing that again,” James said. “Nothing like it.”

“Absolutely not. At least not until after we’re out of school,” Sirius said.

James shot him a look. 

“Or ever,” Sirius said quickly.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit too easy on them?” Fleamont remarked. “Leaving the castle like that is dangerous. They should know better. They get into a great deal of trouble, and we should have firmer boundaries.”

Sirius glanced between them. 

“It wasn’t too dangerous. It was a poor choice, but going over to a cousin’s house is hardly as dangerous as running around Islington in the middle of the night. It’s progress,” Euphemia said. 

“Really, Mum, a month of detention is fine,” James said, managing to sound sensible. It sealed the decision.

“Nonsense,” Euphemia said. “Two weeks of detention should be plenty.”

“Two weeks it is,” Professor McGonagall said, sounding resigned about the fact that James got one over on his mother.

The subsequent talking to that both James and Sirius received from the Potters was far kinder than anything Walburga had said to Sirius. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were always far more reasonable.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a double update today, so if you read this before the ending chapter is posted, know that it's getting posted today!

“Sometimes your parents are mental,” Remus said over breakfast the next day.

“They’re not mental. They’re great,” Sirius said.

“They er, really wanted a child for a long time before having me, and they have more money than your family. So they might be a bit more erm, indulgent sometimes,” James said.

“I’m not so sure that the indulging you is a good thing,” Remus said.

“We  _ might  _ get to find time to make the Hopping Pot work before Christmas though,” James said brightly. “We couldn’t do that if I had detention.”

“Right,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“What are you upset about?” Sirius asked. “You didn’t even get in trouble.”

“Sorry about lying about it. It’s just that with my furry little problem I didn’t want them looking at me  _ too _ closely,” Remus admitted. “And you still didn’t get in  _ that  _ much trouble. I had to save my own skin.”

Sirius laughed. “It’s fine. Good for you,” he said.

Remus smiled sheepishly. 

“There’s a reason Dumbledore thinks you’re the good one!” James said. 

“I  _ am _ good,” Remus deadpanned. 

That time both James and Sirius laughed.

“You nearly got  _ me  _ in trouble though. Professor McGonagall is still suspicious,” Peter complained. 

“Well, you don’t have detention,” Sirius pointed out.

“Oh, you’ve got a letter!” James said excitedly.

Sirius looked surprised, not recognizing the owl. He took the bit of parchment from it and opened it, reading it out loud:   
  


_ “Dear Sirius Black and James Potter, _

_ I believe that I have something of yours. I was investigating a case of the misuse of muggle artifacts. I recognized it and covered for you, so your motorbike is currently at my house. _

_ Kindest regards, _

_ Arthur Weasley” _   
  


Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Well, that’s a relief,” he said. 

James grinned. “Isn’t it? I was worried about that,” he admitted. 

“Me too,” Sirius said. “I love my motorbike.”

“Glad it’s safe. Write him back and let him know we’ll pick it up next Hogsmeade weekend,” James said. 

“Shouldn’t we be keeping quiet for a bit?” Remus asked.

James shook his head. “We will. At least as much as we can, but we have things to do,” he said gravely. “You weren’t there for everything. Fabian and Gideon fought Bellatrix with us. This isn’t so simple. I think sending the Hopping Pot after Snape is a good start, but we really had no idea what all of this was really like. We need the motorbike back. It will be useful once we’re part of the Order.”

Remus was quiet for a moment then nodded. “As long as you don’t get into too much trouble,” he said quietly.

Sirius reached over and gently squeezed James’s hand. James returned the squeeze and held his hand tightly. 

They were quiet throughout the remainder of breakfast, only talking a little when they responded to a letter from Fabian and Gideon checking on them to make sure that they were recovering.

_____________________________________________

Sirius stared into the two way mirror looking thoughtful.  _ Is Remus having any luck with making the Hopping Pot hop yet? _

James scribbled another note. He was doing shelving in the library for his detention.  _ Not yet. He checked out ten more books since you headed out to detention. He’s working on borrowing the entire library if nothing else.  _ James grinned.

_ That sounds about right. I can’t wait to have a day out of detention. I’m tired.  _ Sirius yawned for emphasis.

_ You probably do need more rest. I can’t wait to have you back in my bed, Mssr. Padfoot-Prongs. Future Mr. Potter. _

Sirius blushed and smiled then. He glanced up at Professor McGonagall.  _ I can’t say anything too direct just in case McGonagall confiscates my notes again. I’m thinking about it too though. _

James grinned at him.  _ Thinking about what? _

Sirius rolled his eyes.  _ You know that I can’t write it down. _

James stuck his tongue out.  _ At least I know what you’re thinking. _

Sirius stuck his tongue out as well.  _ Fucking. Arse. _

James laughed soundlessly.  _ At least she won’t guess at what you meant beyond cursing! _

Sirius glanced up at Professor McGonagall again. He looked back at the mirror and tapped his quill to his lips. He smirked and ran his tongue over the feathered tip.

James raised an eyebrow.  _ Lewd. _

_ You like it. _

_ You know it! _

Sirius smirked. 

“Stop passing notes with Potter,” Professor McGonagall said without looking up this time as she confiscated the parchment with a wave of her wand.

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “I’m just tired of detention.”

_ I’m tired of both of us being in detention _ . James made a pouting disappointed face. 

“Then perhaps you will consider that next time before even considering leaving the castle,” Professor McGonagall said.

“Two straight weeks of detention is just ridiculous. I’m tired,” Sirius complained. 

“If you would do your homework while you’re here instead of writing notes to Potter, you wouldn’t have to stay up late to finish your homework,” Professor McGonagall pointed out.

“I’m even sick of gingernewts,” Sirius whined. 

“You should be grateful that it wasn’t a full month,” Professor McGonagall reminded him.

Sirius sighed.

James blew him a kiss through the mirror and Sirius smiled. It wasn’t  _ too _ awful.

__________________________

James held Sirius close against him. He was reclined between his legs, with his back against James’s chest as they read over books relating to the Hopping Pot.

The surprisingly small cauldron sat silently on the bed, seeming to mock them with it’s delicate patina and lifelike foot. 

“Are we sure that it’s the real one?” James asked finally.

“We’re sure,” Remus said irritably. “You said yourself that it has to be the real one. It came when you summoned it. This has the right patina. It has the foot. It was the one from Frank’s house.”

“It’s just… I’d like to see it move,” James said.

“We’re getting there,” Remus insisted. 

“We’re not that much closer to getting it to move,” Peter said unhelpfully. “Maybe it is only just a story. Or it might be broken.”

“It’s not a story and it’s not broken,” Sirius said. 

“We are closer to figuring it out. We’ve covered a lot of books,” Remus said.

“I’m still not sure if we’re going to figure it out before Christmas,” James said. “We need to figure it out. I heard that Snape hexed that muggleborn girl, Greta, so badly that she’s been in the Hospital Wing for nearly a week now.”

“The Hufflepuff?” Peter asked.

“Yes, her,” Sirius said, picking up the Hopping Pot and looking at it. He looked at it closely, turning it around in his hands.

“I really like her,” Peter said, looking worried.

“That’s exactly why we need to sort this out,” James said.

“No, I meant that I really really like her. I was hoping to take her to Hogsmeade. Do you think she’ll get better soon?” Peter asked.

“Dunno. I hope so,” James said.

Sirius sighed and set the Hopping Pot down. He picked up a book about it and flipped through it.

“What if someone has to be mean to someone before it actually works?” Peter asked.

“We’re not about to go be mean to a muggle to test it out,” Sirius said, setting the book down. He reached over and picked up another before leaning back against James again.

“Maybe we could ask a muggleborn friend of ours to let us experiment with it?” Peter suggested.

“We can’t do that either,” Remus said. 

“No, we’re not going to call anyone names like Snape did- even to try to get the Hopping Pot to work,” James agreed. “We’re not going to get down to his level.”

Sirius set that book down and reached over again, frustrated with the short sections on the Hopping Pot. “Bloody useless,” he said, leaning back against James.

They were quiet for a while as they all looked through the books, reading over them and trying to find some sort of clue. They kept reading through the books, going through the stack that Remus had accumulated.

James was the first to break the silence. “Could you  _ stop _ that?” he asked in a pained tone.

All three of them looked up at him curiously.

“Stop what?” Peter asked.

“Not you. Sirius. Stop wiggling!” James said.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, frowning. 

James slid him off his lap then and pressed his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose, looking frustrated.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Nothing. I just don’t want to do any more reading right now,” James said. 

“We’re making progress though,” Remus said.

“I know. I just don’t want to work on it right now,” James told them. 

“What do you want to do instead?” Peter asked.

“Snog Sirius,” James said bluntly. 

Sirius’s face reddened. He could tell from the frustrated look on James’s face and the flush across his cheeks that even though he said  _ ‘snog’ _ he meant  _ ‘fuck _ .’

“Oh. Well, no one is stopping you,” Peter said. “Just don’t do that on  _ my _ bed.”

“That’s not–” Remus said, then hesitated and let it drop.

“I’m going to go fly for a bit. Work off a bit of steam,” James said.

“Want me to come with you?” Sirius asked with a grin.

“Er– no. I would, but not today. Not right now. I’d probably be too— er, definitely too worked up right now. I don’t want to be too rough. I have something special planned for that, I think. Later,” James said. 

“A proper gentlemen, Mssr. Prongs,” Sirius teased him, although he did appreciate the care that James had for him— he wanted them both to enjoy it the first time. They were holding off for the time being, although he wouldn’t have minded helping James out with something that they had already done in a passageway.

“Mmm,” James hummed noncommittally as if he were unimpressed with the teasing. His frustration was clearly visible. He grabbed his Quidditch gear and left the room rather quickly.

“I did  _ not _ need to know that James is the chaser,” Peter groaned.

“How do you figure that?” Sirius asked, although he looked a trifle embarrassed.

“He’s just…” Peter trailed off, face red. He gestured vaguely with meaningless gestures in an attempt to express something that he wasn’t sure he wanted to express.

“You can’t  _ know _ ,” Sirius said. “You don’t know for sure one way or the other. At least not for sure.”

“Well, I supposed… Wait… So… are you the chaser then?” Peter asked.

“Didn’t say that either,” Sirius told him. “We  _ still _ haven’t done  _ that _ .”

“I’d have done it already if I had a girl that wanted to date me,” Peter said.

“It’s harder to get a bit of privacy in Hogwarts than you’d think,” Sirius told him. 

“Well, you can sneak out of the castle easily enough,” Peter reminded him. “Plus, you both already know about the Shrieking Shack, so you could go there.”

“We don’t want to sleep together  _ there _ ,” Sirius said. “That wouldn’t be right. We want someplace nice.”

“Besides, they’re trying to lie low for a bit. They can’t be sneaking out of the castle,” Remus pointed out. “They only just got out of their detentions.”

“I do think about sneaking out of the castle though,” Sirius said. “Maybe next Hogsmeade weekend…”

“ _ Anyway _ , that’s a dilemma for you and James to solve. We’re not helping you out on  _ that _ one! We  _ can _ help you with the Hopping Pot though, and we should get back at that,” Remus pointed out, handing another book to Sirius.

“Right,” Sirius said, opening up the book and flipping through the pages somewhat absently. 

______________________________________________   
  


Despite Remus’s concerns about them leaving the castle, James and Sirius snuck out during an afternoon over a weekend. They took the Floo to the Weasley's home since Arthur still had their confiscated motorbike. It was lucky, since having it safely at the Potter home would have meant questions about where they were going with the motorbike. Arthur didn’t ask too many questions beyond what they were doing outside of Hogwarts, but didn’t seem apt to tell on them. 

James rode behind Sirius, tucked up against him tight and arms wrapped around his waist as he gave him directions. Sirius had no idea where they were going, but was perfectly willing to let James surprise him. He’d told him to dress nicely for their date and not worry too much about what other people thought. Sirius hadn’t dressed up as much as he’d felt comfortable with over the summer, but did line his eyes with khol, wear tighter pants than he did at Hogwarts, and wore a more colorful band t-shirt than he ordinarily would have worn. 

He was beginning to grow concerned that James had gotten them entirely lost, when James pointed out ahead of them. “There,” he said.

It was a small building in a secluded forested area, and Sirius had to steer very carefully to touch the motorbike down on the ground in the forest without hitting any trees. 

“Where do we er, park?” Sirius asked.

“Well, we can’t just park a motorbike at the building. They’re going to know that we didn’t just drive through the woods on the ground. I s’pose here is fine,” James said with a shrug.

Sirius looked reluctant, not wanting to leave his motorbike behind again.

“Fine,” James said. He shrunk the motorbike down to the size of a toy with a wave of his wand and handed it to Sirius.

Sirius sighed. “If it doesn’t run properly after we resize it—”

“Then I’ll fix it or we’ll buy a new one,” James said.

Sirius shrugged and pocketed it. “Fine,” he said.

James took hold of his hand then, and tugged him through the woods to the clearing with the small building. It looked unassuming like a family home, but Sirius doubted that James would have taken him out on a date to someone’s home.

They stepped up to the front door and James knocked politely.

Sirius shifted awkwardly on the porch, dropping James’s hand out of habit. He looked upwards at the ceiling as they waited for someone to come to the door, and his eyes widened. 

“It’s rainbow,” Sirius said softly.

“Hmm? Oh, that’s a neat bit of spellwork,” James said.

The ceiling of the porch was enchanted much like the ceiling at Hogwarts so that they could see the cloudy sky, except a rainbow covered the entire expanse of it. 

Sirius glanced at James again, and gently took his hand. “What is this place?” he asked.

“You’ll see,” James told him.

An older wizard came to the door then, his long beard nearly down to his knees. He was dressed in an outlandish hat and simple purple robes. He was frowning at them.

“That’s not the code to get inside, you know,” he told them sternly.

“We er, didn’t realize that there was a code?” James said, still sounding hopeful.

“How did you find out about this place anyway?” the wizard asked, looking skeptical.

“Erm, I found a card in a book,” James said.

The wizard looked between them. “What sort of book?” he asked.

“Er, one about wizards, y’know,” James mumbled. He tightened his hold on Sirius’s hand. 

“How old are you?” the wizard asked them.

“Well, we’re not wanting to stay the night or anything. We just wanted— I wanted to take my boyfriend on a date, and couldn’t figure out where to take him,” James said. “I thought maybe we could have lunch here?”

The wizard looked at Sirius more closely then, seeming to waver. He grabbed both of them and tugged them inside. “Quickly, quickly,” he said.

“What is this place?” Sirius asked once they were inside. 

“A bed and breakfast,” James told him. “I thought that since I couldn’t exactly take you to Madam Puddifoot’s, that this was the next best thing.”

“It’s brilliant,” Sirius said. Two blokes just didn’t go to Madam Puddifoot’s together, especially since it would unmistakably be a date, but this? This was unmistakably a date yet felt far less risky. 

It was far warmer inside than outside. The place was less twee than Madam Puddifoots, although it was still decorated nicely. It was more tasteful with the placement of flowers and didn’t have an ounce of pink, seeming to favour more rich royal blues. The place looked a little less well kept (perhaps with less customers than Madam Puddifoot’s), but it was cozy in a way that Sirius liked. It felt comfortable.More importantly, other than their ages and Sirius’s muggle clothing, they didn’t look a bit out of place.

“Take a seat, and I’ll have a waiter over in a moment,” the wizard told them, gesturing to the tables.

James sat down and Sirius sat across from him, still surprised with the place. “How did you find this again?”

“Well, there was a card in the book that my dad bought me. It was really taking a chance, since I wasn’t sure that it would be safe, but I thought that we’d give it a try,” James said. 

“I’m glad we did,” Sirius said. He reached across the table and took James’s hand in his. “This is really nice.”

James beamed and squeezed Sirus’s hand. 

A waiter not much older than either of them came over to take their order. He wore a royal blue apron, but was otherwise dressed in typical muggle clothes for the time. “What can I get you two?” he asked them.

“Yorkshire pudding and black tea with milk,” Sirius decided, glancing over the menu.

“I’d like Yorkshire pudding and chai to drink,” James told the waiter. “We’ll get some macarons too— oh and do you want to split a small chocolate cake?” 

“We can do that,” Sirius agreed.

“Anything else?” the waiter asked them.

“No, thank you,” Sirius said.

James smiled and thanked the waiter. Once he had left he squeezed Sirius’s hand again, running his thumb over the back. 

“Sorry I couldn’t take you to Madam Puddifoot’s in Hogsmeade— and you said that you wanted to go on dates there, but this is almost as nice.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously with his free hand. 

“It’s great,” Sirius reassured him. “It’s really great. I love it. It’s better than Madam Puddifoot’s. It’s completely brilliant.”

“I'm glad you love it. I was worried about it. I wanted this to be special,” James told him quietly.

Sirius smiled then, a faint flush heating his cheeks. He leaned across the table and lightly pressed their lips together in what was intended to be a quick kiss, although James seized the opportunity to lean in and linger. Sirius kissed him back in spite of the surprise. As he pulled back he laughed nervously and glanced around. No one was staring, all preoccupied with their own meals.

“We’re really fine,” James assured him quietly. 

Sirius nodded. He sat back in the slightly wobbly chair, though he kept holding James’s hand. “Can’t believe how nice this is.”

The waiter brought their tea, Yorkshire pudding, a small cake, and a dainty box of macarons. “Enjoy,” he told them before heading off to tend to another table.

Sirius glanced at the small cake curiously, noticing that it was on one plate with two forks. He couldn’t help but smile at the realization. “He knew we were a couple,” he said brightly. 

“Well, I was holding your hand,” James reminded him, although he was grinning too. 

Sirius took a few bites of the Yorkshire pudding. “Is the cake sparkling?” he asked.

“It’s something shimmery,” James said with a shrug as he took an experimental bite. “It’s good though.”

Sirius took a bite as well. “Very good,” he agreed. “I didn’t look at the menu. How expensive was the cake?”

“Not bad,” James lied. 

Sirius raised an eyebrow and reached over to grab the menu, but James laughed and put it behind his back. 

“Fine, it  _ is _ pricey. It’s good chocolate. I can spend my pocket money however I want,” James said.

“Thought so,” Sirius said. He took one of the macarons out of the box, biting into it. “These aren’t exactly cheap either.”

“Tonight’s special,” James said, cheeks pink. 

Sirius laughed and nodded. “Going to Floo us off to your summer home and have your way with me?” he asked teasingly. 

“If you’ll let me,” James said softly and far more genuinely.

Sirius licked his lips and looked down at his tea. He nodded. “Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Yeah?” James asked, reaching over and brushing his fingers lightly over Sirius’s hand. 

Sirius nodded again, looking up into James’s hazel eyes then. 

“I’ve got a present for you first though, you know,” James said. 

“What did you get me?” Sirius asked curiously. 

“It’s… Well, do you want it now or in private?” James asked. 

“Is it a romantic present?” Sirius asked.

“Definitely romantic,” James confirmed. 

Sirius considered it. “In private then,” he decided.

“It’s probably more romantic that way too,” James said. 

“What  is it?” Sirius asked curiously.

“You’ll see,” James said. He sipped more of his tea. 

Sirius looked at him curiously, but took a few more bites of his cake. “Okay, let’s go now,” he said.

“Not now, we need to finish lunch first,” James told him with a laugh. He shook his head.

“Alright, alright,” Sirius said, only teasingly displeased. He hated waiting, but could wait for James. He took a few bites of his Yorkshire pudding.

James kept eating his lunch. “Y’know, even though I said that I was going to take you home and have my way with you, if you’re not ready to... y’know,” he mumbled, “then we can still wait. We don’t have to do that.”

Sirius’s face reddened and he coughed a little as he swallowed the bite of Yorkshire pudding that he’d had in his mouth. “I really want to,” he said quietly. “I do want to try it.”

“I know. I just want you to know that if we don’t, it’s still alright, no matter what. No pressure, yeah?” James told him.

Sirius nodded. He smiled and playfully nudged James’s foot under the table with his own. “You can change your mind too, y’know. I hope you don’t, but you can,” Sirius told him.

James blushed then. “I’m definitely not changing my mind,” he said with a laugh, nudging Sirius back playfully. 

They ate quietly for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and being able to have a date that didn’t feel rushed or secretive. They nibbled on the cake, but Sirius’s patience wore a bit thin.

“Can we go now?” Sirius asked.

James laughed. “Now?” he asked.

Sirius nodded. 

James waved over the waiter and asked for the check, paying for them both.

“Could we use your Floo?” James asked then.

“Go ahead,” the waiter told them.

They headed over to the fireplace and made their way through to the Potter’s summer home.

“Hello?” James called out. When there was no response, he grinned and quickly walked through the house just to be positive that no one was home.

“This is like being on holiday,” Sirius said once James had completed his search.

James laughed and nodded, looking a bit giddy. It was too cool to spend time out on the beach, but it was a nice break from their usual places— and had far more privacy. 

“What’s the present?” Sirius asked. 

He wasn’t sure that James was going to tell him for a moment, but then James brushed their lips together in a soft kiss.

James pulled a small crimson box out of his trouser pockets and grinned widely as he pressed it gently into Sirius’s hand.

Sirius looked at it curiously, before realization dawned on him. He opened the box. Inside was a simple gold ring.

“I had it custom done— Mum knows, of course, although I didn’t let her know when I was going to propose... She knew of the jewelry company,” James said. “It’s not a traditional engagement ring, but I really liked this, and hope you like it too. It’s not really a proper one, but I can buy you a proper one if you’d like. I hope you like it though.”

Sirius looked at it curiously, smiling at the engraving on the inside of the band- just the words ‘ _ Mr. Potter (my Padfoot) _ ’ inscribed in a simple typeface. 

“You’re not buying a proper one because I love this one. I’m keeping it and never taking it off,” Sirius said with a grin. 

James’s eyes widened and then he laughed. “Really? I was hoping you might like it, but I wasn’t really sure. It seemed more romantic than just the usual sort.”

“I love it, Prongs,” Sirius said, still beaming. “Just a shame I haven’t got one for you.”

“Here, let me see it for a second,” James said. He held out his hand.

Sirius gently placed the ring in James’s palm. 

James cleared his throat. “Will you marry me after school?” he asked, holding it up for him.

“I’ve already said yes, probably dozens of times by now,” Sirius told him. 

“I know- but properly. Say it properly,” James told him. 

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” Sirius said with a grin. 

James grinned back at him, and if they both hadn’t been so excited over it Sirius would’ve told him how ridiculous he looked with that goofy grin. As it was, he just felt his heart flutter and was sure that he looked nearly as ridiculous when James slid the ring on his finger and carefully adjusted the size down a little with his wand so that it fit properly. 

“There we are- all sorted and engaged now,” James told him, holding his hand in his and admiring the ring on Sirius’s finger. 

“Sometimes I think you’re secretly a romantic- giving me flowers, doodling our initials together on your essays— don’t look at me like that, I’ve seen you do it!  _ And _ buying me a proper ring before shagging me,” Sirius remarked with a grin. 

James laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling caught out at being a hopeless romantic. “Just a bit. To be fair we have been shagging for a while now- just not exactly…” he said, shrugging. “Not shagging like  _ that _ .”

Sirius kept grinning at him and leaned in pressing their lips together. “I love the ring,” he said. 

James smiled and kissed him back softly. “Love you,” he told him. 

“Love you too,” Sirius said.  

James kissed him again, soft and tender this time. “I’m marrying you right after school,” he told him. “Could do it officially as soon as I turn seventeen- and then have the wedding party later.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius agreed.

His breath hitched as James pressed a few soft kisses along his neck.

“Want to go lay down in your room?” Sirius asked shakily.

“Yeah,” James whispered. He tugged him along. “We don’t have to though. Don’t feel like we have to just because I proposed. We can still wait if you’re not ready for that. There’s loads of things that we-”

“I want to,” Sirius said, cutting off his rambling. “You know that I do. Just, give me a moment?”

“Alright,” James said. 

Sirius blushed and went to the loo, shutting the door behind him.

James leaned against the wall, waiting patiently on Sirius in spite of his nerves. He blushed when he heard Sirius do a cleaning charm that he was far more familiar with now.

Sirius stepped out a moment later, red faced and tugging James to the bedroom.

“Lay back,” James told him when they curled up on the bed together. 

Sirius scooted and lay back on the center of the large bed, head propped against the pillows.

“Still nervous about hurting you,” James admitted as he slid off his shirt. He set his glasses on the bedside table.

“S’fine. I don’t think it will,” Sirius told him as he undid James’s belt.

“Let me know if it does,” James told him. He took off his trousers and pants, tossing them aside. He leaned down and pressed their lips together gently, easing on top of Sirius. 

“Someone’s excited,” Sirius commented, tracing his finger along James’s already hard length. 

“I was excited before we even got here,” James admitted. “I’ve been thinking about it for  _ ages _ .” 

Sirius grinned up at him and ran his fingers through James’s hair, playfully messing it up more than it already was.

James laughed and kissed down Sirius’s neck. Sirius’s eyes shut as James trailed tender kisses down his neck, sucking gently at his skin. He ran his hands over James’s shoulders and back, shivering at the gentle brush of his lips. 

He gasped softly as James kissed lower, down his chest and at his hips. He groaned as James’s fingers traced teasingly through his hair and along his thighs, not touching the more sensitive parts yet, although there were a few accidental brushes against his balls that made his breath hitch. He kept his touches teasing, making Sirius squirm. Finally, just before Sirius could ask for more, he kissed along his half hard length. Sirius looked down and ran his hands through James’s hair. 

James ran his tongue along the underside of the head and over his slit, looking up at him. 

Sirius whimpered and pressed to his tongue. “I forgot my wand,” he said, nearly whining.

“What do you need your wand for?” James asked raising an eyebrow, lips quirked up with amusement. He sucked softly on the tip of his cock.

“I left my wand- and the er, lube- by the bathtub,” Sirius told him. “Really, I don’t need the wand, but the lube—”

“Don’t worry,” James said. He grabbed the vial of lube that he brought in case Sirius had forgotten.

Sirius shifted and hitched his hips up, sticking a pillow under himself. He bit his lip in anticipation as James uncapped the vial and thoroughly coated his fingers. 

Two of James’s fingers sunk into him easily, wrenching a groan from Sirius. He breathed shakily, pressing to his fingers. 

James grinned and worked his fingers inside of him gently. He looked decidedly smug over the fact that Sirius was fully rocking his hips to press to his fingers eagerly. “More?” he asked curiously.

“Don’t tease me! Yes, more, dammit,” Sirius told him, cheeks flushed. 

He bit his lip and grunted when James slid three fingers into him instead of just the two. He was more gentle, sliding them partly out and back in again, rubbing, and stretching him gently. 

“Still feel nice?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed. 

“Do you want me to try-”

“Yeah," Sirius interrupted him impatiently and eagerly.

James slid his fingers out of him and shifted up to kiss him. He let his lips linger as he rubbed more lube over his cock and Sirius’s crack. He worked more inside of him as a precautionary measure.

Sirius looked up at James, breathless and excited. He hitched his legs up and around James’s waist. 

They both were still for a second, just grinning at each other, both flushed and breathing heavily. Sirius laughed nervously.

"You're sure?" James asked him again.

"Want you in me," Sirius mumbled, cheeks red.

James kissed him lovingly once more before positioning himself at Sirius’s opening. Sirius bit his lip and gripped James’s shoulders. 

Sirius breathed shakily, holding onto him tightly as James slowly eased into him. Each time Sirius gripped him just a bit tighter, James paused before continuing. Eventually he managed to work himself fully inside of Sirius. 

He marveled at having  _ James _ inside of him. 

When James started to move again, Sirius gripped him tighter. “Give me a second,” he told him, still adjusting. 

James groaned but restrained himself and stilled, kissing Sirius’s neck. He reached between them and gripped Sirius’s cock, stroking over him slowly. “Does it hurt?” 

Sirius shook his head. “Feels a bit weird. Nice, but weird,” he said.

James nodded and kept stroking over him leisurely.

“Can I move now?” he asked, when Sirius started to thrust up into his hand. 

Sirius chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, you can move now,” he said. 

James breathed shakily and eased started thrusting gently. Sirius gasped and held onto him tightly. They didn’t take long to find a slow but steady rhythm together. 

Sirius gripped James tighter and let out a choked moan, making James huff out a laugh.

“Found it,” James told him with a grin. He thrust against the same spot for good measure. 

“Y- nng- Yeah. Found it,” Sirius confirmed. “Keep doing  _ that. _ ”

James nodded. He let go of Sirius’s cock so that he could use both of his hands for leverage–– and Sirius was once again grateful for the strength and stamina James had built up during Quidditch practices. 

Sirius shuddered and gazed up at James as he loosely stroked over himself lazily a few times- mostly fixated on what James was doing inside him than anything else- coating himself with the precome he was leaking. He tightened his legs around James’s waist. “H-harder,” he said. 

He looked surprised at that, but thrust into Sirius harder and than before, somehow knowing Sirius well enough to keep from being too rough even though this was all new for both of them.

“Still feel alright?” James asked, looking down with concern at Sirius’s hand that only loosely held his own cock–– which was still leaking an impressive amount of precome.

“Don’t stop,” Sirius told him, coming across more frustrated than he meant to, “it feels fucking brilliant.”

James laughed and looked down at him in bemusement, keeping the same pace.

His hips rocked to meet James’s thrusts. He gazed up into James’s hazel eyes and at his flushed face, both of them breathing hard. He shuddered and squeezed his own cock, tightening his legs around James’s waist again. James kept thrusting against his prostate, drawing strangled half moans and grunts from Sirius, all of the pleasure focused on James inside of him.

Sirius clutched at James tightly, gripping at his shoulders desperately at the intensity. The words murmured near James’s ear were all disjointed and desperate- about half of them were his name and all of them were pleas. He kept a tight hold on him as he stiffened at the waves of pleasure and cried out, spilling out his release over his midriff. He panted heavily, loosening his grip on him. 

It felt just on the edge of uncomfortable with James changing the pace and cant of his hips to focus on his own pleasure, but Sirius was in too much bliss to care. He panted heavily, looking up at James’s face, which was scrunched up in pleasure. He leaned up and pressed kisses to his neck, fingers finding their way to the back of James’s head and running through the short hair at the nape of his neck.

James thrusts grew harder and more erratic. It didn’t take long before he groaned as he came inside of him with a low groan.

He still hadn’t managed to fully catch his breath when James slowly eased out of him and wrapped his arms tightly around him, tugging him close. Sirius curled up with him, grinning.

“You’re still sticky,” James said before murmuring a cleaning charm. 

“ _ You’re _ sticky,” Sirius quipped before murmuring his thanks. He kissed James’s neck softly before resting his head on James’s chest.

James gently squeezed Sirius’s backside, making both of them grin. 

Sirius tugged the blankets up around them. James kept his arms around him, eyes shutting as they both relaxed and dozed off.

______________________________________

 

They headed back up to the common room the next day after spending the night at the Potter summer home. Remus and Peter were playing chess together, but looked up when James and Sirius stepped inside.

James was beaming. “I proposed to Padfoot,” he said.

“Proposed?” Peter asked, looking perplexed.

Sirius held up his hand and showed of the ring.

“Er, congratulations,” Remus said hesitantly.

“You’re not happy about it,” James said, deflating.

“I’m happy for you,” Remus said quickly. “It’s just a bit sudden. Isn’t it? You haven’t been together that long, have you?” 

“We’ve been friends since the first day of school. If we haven’t gotten sick of each other yet, I doubt that we will,” James pointed out. He slung an arm around Sirius’s waist. “And I do love him.”

“I suppose so,” Remus said.

“We’re not the first people to get engaged in our year anyway,” Sirius said.

“Slytherins don’t count you know,” Peter said.

“Just be happy for us, will you?” James said. 

“I am. We are! Congratulations,” Remus said again.

“If… if Prongs proposed… does that mean that Padfoot is the girl?” Peter asked.

Remus kicked Peter under the table.

“Ow! Shit! Remus, that hurt!”

“How thick can you be? Of course Padfoot’s not a bloody girl,” James said. “How was he supposed to afford a ring after being disowned?”

“Oh. I suppose so,” Peter said. “Then-“

“We did go over this once didn’t we? We don’t sleep with girls or play Quidditch in bed or play basebasketfootieball,” James said.

“Right,” Peter said.

“We did shag after I proposed though,” James said. 

Sirius laughed and elbowed him.

“I don’t think that I want to know,” Peter squeaked, face red.

“Oh, but you were the one that was just asking which one of us is the chaser weren’t you?” Sirius teased. 

“That’s different from hearing about it!” Peter said. “It’s a bit weird to think that one of you is the keeper.”

“Not weird at all. Relax! We’re not going to tell you anyway,” James said, plopping down into a chair next to them. He glanced at the chessboard where Remus and Peter were playing. “You’re going to lose if you don’t move your queen.

“Thanks,” Peter said, looking at the board again.

“They’re James and Sirius. They probably take turns anyway,” Remus mumbled. 

Both of their expressions changed to perplexity, and Remus’s face reddened.

“Or not! I guess not. Alright then,” Remus said quickly.

“Anyway, he bought a really nice ring,” Sirius said. He slipped it off and showed both Remus and Peter the inscription.

“Oh, that is nice,” Remus said.

James grinned. “I s’pose I could have gotten a more expensive one, but this one is nice and Sirius likes it. I like it.”

“So you’ll take James’s name when you both get married?” Peter asked, looking at the inscription.

“Yeah. Not fond of keeping the family name really,” Sirius said, slipping the ring back in his finger. “It would be ridiculous to do it the other way around.”

“I figure you can both be best men at the wedding- we’ll figure out which one for each of us later,” James said. “Assuming you both want to be of course.”

“Of course,” Remus said with a smile.

“We will!” Peter agreed.

“It will be a small wedding, since I’m not inviting any of my family except Uncle Alphard. We’ll make sure that it’s fun though and keep James’s mum from making it too boring,” Sirius said. He leaned over, looking at the chessboard as well. “Now you’re going to lose if you don’t take Peter’s knight.”

Remus glanced at the board perplexed for a moment, before catching on to the play.

“Hey, I was just giving Peter a chance to catch up to Remus,” James said. 

“Yeah, if you want to play chess with James, get your own chess board,” Peter protested.

“Not interested in playing chess,” Sirius said with a shrug. “We have a Hopping Pot puzzle to sort out and a wedding to plan.”

“It’s a bit early to start planning a wedding, don’t you think?” Remus asked. “If I move my bishop next, do you think…?”

“I’d move it there,” Sirius said, pointing.

“Would you stop hovering and sit down?” Peter protested.

“No— I’m not sitting. If I sit down I’m going to end up helping Remus win,” Sirius said, although he was really just avoiding sitting down.

“You don’t know that,” James said. 

“You know that I’ll win at chess against you,” Sirius told him. “I usually do. Come on— let's go take another look at the Hopping Pot.”

James nodded, and followed him up the stairs.


	16. Chapter 16

“I think that we need to give it as a gift,” James said decidedly.

Sirius looked up from the Hopping Pot. He had been poking its foot with his wand lately, after discovering that it was ticklish and jumped when poked. “What?” he asked.

“Well, we were thinking about it too hard,” James said. “It’s in the story isn’t it? We just have to make it Snape’s and it should just do what it’s supposed to do once it belongs to him.”

“Yeah, but we don’t want it to belong to him and  _ not _ work,” Remus said. “We don’t want to just give away a rare magical artifact— probably one of a kind honestly.”

“We’ll test it first,” Sirius said.

“How?” James asked.

“Let’s go find Regulus,” Sirius said decisively. 

“What? He’s not going to help us,” James said. 

“He will. He really wants a way out of the castle, remember? We’ll just bribe him,” Sirius said.

“Do we really want to tell him a way out of the castle?” Remus asked skeptically.

“We’ll just show him one that we don’t use very often,” James said with a shrug. “We really should test the Hopping Pot before giving it away properly.”

Sirius grabbed up their map, looking for Regulus. “Oh, he’s with Slughorn. What a swot.”

“C’mon, let’s go see if he’ll help us,” James said.

“We’ll be back,” Sirius said, following James out of the room.

They ran down the corridors, only slowing down when they passed by a professor. When they reached Slughorn’s office, they leaned against the wall, waiting for Regulus to finish with whatever it was that he was doing.

“Probably for the Slugclub,” Sirius commented.

“I can’t believe that Evans is a member of that ridiculous club too,” James said, shaking his head. 

“He tried to get me to join too, you know,” Sirius said. “He was insistent on it.”

“He only asked me a couple times, and probably just because my father was notable in potions,” James said with a shrug. “He’s an odd one.”

They kept waiting, and eventually James leaned his head against Sirius’s shoulder, wrapping an arm about his waist. They watched the map, and only broke apart when Regulus’s moved towards the door. 

“Hi,” Sirius said.

Regulus startled at that, looking at the pair of them suspiciously. “What do you want?”

“The real question is, ‘what do you want?’” Sirius said with a grin.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Regulus said uneasily. He eyed the pair of them as if they were a puzzle.

“Walk with us,” James said. “We have a proposition for you.”

Regulus followed James and Sirius, although he still didn’t look trusting.

“We know that you want a way out of Hogwarts,” Sirius said.

“And you know that we can provide that for you,” James continued.

“At a cost though—” 

“Really a small cost,” James finished.

“A cost?” Regulus asked skeptically, having to walk faster to keep up with them as they headed towards Gryffindor tower.

“A simple favor,” Sirius said.

“Very simple,” James agreed.

“What is it?” Regulus asked.

“You’ll have to let us test something,” Sirius told him.

“Test what?” Regulus asked.

“The Hopping Pot,” James said.

“Are you both mad?” Regulus asked.

“Absolutely not. We’ve found the Hopping Pot of legend, and we need to bequeath it to you—”

“Temporarily mind,” James added.

“Exactly.  _ Temporarily _ bequeath it to you so that we can test and see if it works the way that the tale suggests,” Sirius told him.

“And if I let you bequeath this to me, you’ll tell me a way out of the castle?” Regulus asked skeptically.

“It’s that simple,” Sirius said.

“Of course you’ll have to give it back,” James added.

“Or we won’t tell you a way out of the castle,” Sirius said. 

“You’re both imbeciles,” Regulus said.

“If we're imbeciles then at least we’re imbeciles that do know a way out of the castle,” Sirius said with a grin. "Unlike you."

“Multiple ways, in fact,” James said.

“All right. I’ll play along with your absurd game,” Regulus said quietly. “But if you don’t tell me a way out of the castle afterwards, you’re going to regret it.”

“Excellent,” Sirius said.

“Stay here,” James said, giving the password to the Gryffindor common room. 

“Y’know, if Mum knew that you were dating a pureblood, even if you weren’t going to give her any heirs she’d probably add you back on the tapestry,” Regulus said quietly.

“I’m not talking to her again,” Sirius said.

“Why not? Our Grand Aunt Dorea married a Potter after all,” Regulus said. “Mum might be a bit angry, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as you’re making it.”

“You really don’t understand at all,” Sirius told him, shaking his head. 

“You’re the one that doesn’t understand, Sirius,” Regulus said, and he genuinely sounded sad about it.

“Does Mum know?” Sirius asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“She… She’s heard rumors, but she doesn’t believe it,” Regulus admitted. “They’re just rumors after all. There’s been rumors about you and Potter for a while now.”

“Doesn’t believe that I’m gay?” Sirius asked incredulously.

Regulus shook her head. “Are you?”

“You didn’t know?” Sirius asked, eyes widening in realization that he'd inadvertently outed himself.

“I was bluffing,” Regulus said with a shrug. “With Potter?”

“Yeah,” Sirius mumbled, fiddling with the ring on his hand. 

“Is it just messing around or are you two really…?” Regulus asked.

Sirius hated being inspected like that. He chewed his lip. “Did you tell her about the rumors?” he asked.

“No,” Regulus said. “She’s still convinced you’re dating a muggleborn girl and that they’re completely false or that you’re just acting out again. She might take it all right if she knew that you were dating a Potter even if he’s not  _ really  _ a true pureblood.”

“I don’t care what she thinks, and I’d appreciate it if you would stop trying to talk to me about her. I’m trying to move on— I’m not part of the family anymore. I don’t need you dragging me back into that mess.”

“If you say so,” Regulus said with a sigh that almost sounded disappointed. “Did Potter give you that ring?”

Sirius’s cheeks pinked and he couldn't help the smile, though he kept quiet.

“Well, did he?” Regulus asked.

James came back through the portrait then, with the Hopping Pot. “Did I what?”

“Give my brother a ring?” Regulus asked.

James looked at Sirius then, unable to read the situation fast enough. “What ring?” he asked, although he didn’t do a convincing job of it.

“Congratulations,” Regulus said, and in spite of being overly stoic and a little sneak, he sounded genuine.

“Er— thanks,” Sirius mumbled. 

“Can’t tell your parents or I’ll hex you so badly that you’ll—”

“Relax Potter, I’m not planning on telling my parents. I think that our mother would take it favourably, and for some asinine reason, Sirius doesn’t want Mum to like him,” Regulus said. He stared at the Hopping Pot. “That’s it?” he asked, pointing at it and looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“That’s it,” James said brightly.

“So, how does this work exactly?” Regulus asked.

“We’re going to find out,” Sirius said.

“I hereby bequeath this Hopping Pot to you, as owner through the Potter line, so that you may learn to treat muggleborns correctly,” James said. He handed it to Regulus.

They all stared at it.

“It’s not doing anything,” Regulus remarked.

“That’s frustrating,” James said.

“Set it down and try walking,” Sirius suggested.

Regulus stared at them both as if they were out of their minds. He seemed to be steeling himself, reminding himself that he was getting information about a passage out of the castle. “If you say so,” he said mildly. He set the Hopping Pot down on the ground.

He started walking away.  “See? It’s not going to work,” he said.

Then they all jumped. The Hopping Pot lurched forward and with a clank it hopped forward.

_ Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. _

It was loud, clanking against the stone floor. All three of them covered their ears.

“That’s horrible,” Regulus said, wrinkling his nose. “Take it back now!”

“This is the best thing ever!” James said exuberantly. 

“Take it back!” Regulus protested.

“Just pick it up and bequeath it back to me,” James said.

“Fine. I hereby bequeath the Hopping Pot back to its original owner, James Potter,” Regulus said.

James took it back from him, but the Hopping Pot struggled to get loose, still trying to go after Regulus.

“Maybe you ought to officially accept it?” Sirius suggested.

“Oh. That’s useful. That will keep Snivellus from just giving it away,” James said. “I hereby accept the Hopping Pot as its rightful owner.”

The Hopping Pot made a small noise of contentment and stopped going after Regulus, unmoving in James’s arms.

“You’re going to give it to Severus?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t you dare tell him, or we’ll send it after you,” Sirius told him.

Regulus frowned. “Fine. Now, you  _ promised _ to tell me a way out of the castle,” he said.

“Right,” James said, opening the map. “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.”

“Ridiculous,” Regulus said, shaking his head.

“Ah, here we are,” James said, pointing to the passageway they used the least. “This will take you right out of the castle. It comes out in Hogsmeade.”

Regulus looked at the map curiously. “What is this?” he asked, marveling over it.

James snatched it away. “A map of our devising. Can’t have it. You’ve got your way out now. We’ve made good on our end of the deal,” he said. 

“Sometimes, you’re not nearly as dumb as you both seem to be,” Regulus remarked.

Sirius laughed. “Cheers,” he said, going back through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room, James following along behind him. 

They raced up to the dormitories.

“It works!” James exclaimed with an excited whoop.

“It works?” Remus asked excitedly.

“It sounded almost as obnoxious as when Peeves knocked over the suit of armor!” Sirius said. “But it’s continuous! The noise doesn’t stop! It will drive Snape absolutely insane.”

“Wicked!” Peter said excitedly.

“Get me a sheet of parchment. I need to write a letter and then we’ll mail our little gift,” James said mischievously.

Remus handed him parchment and a quill. James set about drafting a letter. Sirius wrapped his arms about James’s shoulders, leaning over to read as he wrote it out.

_ “Dear Severus Snape, _

_ I, James Potter, as heir and owner of the Hopping Pot through the Potter line hereby bequeath it to you so that you may learn to treat muggleborns correctly. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ James Potter” _

“That should do it,” Sirius said once he’d finished. He hugged him tighter. 

“Let’s pack it up and go to the owlery,” James said, pecking Sirius on the lips before getting up.

They all headed out of the Gryffindor tower together.

____________________________________

The next morning at breakfast they were all entirely too excitable to eat. Peter kept glancing hopefully for the post to arrive.

“I can’t wait to see Snivellus’s face,” James said quietly.

“It’s going to be fantastic,” Sirius said with a grin. He couldn’t help the glee over the anticipation. 

“D’you think we’ll get in trouble for it?” Remus asked.

“I hope not,” James said. “It’s a gift, after all. A very special gift.”

“Worth it if we do,” Sirius said.

“Look, there’s the post!” Peter squeaked excitedly.

They all glanced surreptitiously towards the Slytherin table.

James’s owl swooped down in front of Snape, depositing the parcel containing the Hopping Pot in front of him. 

Snape looked at the package curiously. He opened it and lightly touched the cauldron, appraising it and almost looking delighted at the gift. His face fell when he read the letter attached though. His head jerked up and narrow eyes sought James Potter across the room. He stared at him suspiciously.

James grinned and waved.

Then Snape stood up and stalked over towards them. “I demand an explanation Potter—”

_ Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. _

The Hopping Pot hopped after him, sticking close behind.

“This is the most ridiculous prank ever,” Snape said, once the cacophony ceased. “Reverse this spell right now.”

“Won’t,” James said with a grin. “It’s the actual Hopping Pot.”

“That’s not a true story,” Snape said.

“Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Snape, my office now,” Professor McGonagall said sternly.

James grinned and they followed her out of the Great Hall.

_ Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. Clank. Clank. CLANK. Clank. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. Clank.  _

They arrived in Professor McGonagall’s office.

“Have a seat,” she told them, lips pursed tightly together and looking as if she might scream at all of them at any second. She rubbed at her temples and sat down at the desk.

“It’s not my fault. This is all Potter’s doing,” Snape said.

“Is not! If you weren’t dreadful to muggleborns—” Sirius said.

“You,” Professor McGonagall said, pointing at James. “Explain.”

“Er… I found the Hopping Pot,” James said brightly.

“Get rid of whatever ridiculous charm you’ve cast on that cauldron, and put it right,” Professor McGonagall told him.

“Well, it’s really the Hopping Pot. It’s the real one from the story. You see, my great great great great—”

“No,” Professor McGonagall said firmly, interrupting James. She pointed at Remus. “You go get Professor Flitwick.”

“Okay, Professor. I just want to let you know that it won’t do any good having him fix it, because it really is the Hopping Pot,” Remus said, although he rushed to continue talking at the look she leveled him with over her glasses. “I’ll go get him all the same."

Remus hurried out of the room.

“It’s really simple. I’ll accept the Hopping Pot back once he’s sufficiently nice to muggleborn students to make it quiet himself,” James said brightly.

“You can’t torment other students with ridiculous charms,” Professor McGonagall told him sternly.

“Oh! Making a smarmy git be polite for once! In a school with rules about behavior and everything! The travesty of it all!” Sirius said with a grin.

“Enough, Black,” Professor McGonagall said, although she was now forcibly concealing amusement as well.

“It really is the Hopping Pot, you know. We had to do hours and hours and  _ hours _ of research to find it,” James said.

“Research? In a school? The travesty of it,” Professor McGonagall said with a click of her tongue, throwing Sirius’s words back at them.

“I demand to have Professor Slughorn in here as well. He’s my head of house,” Snape seethed.

“Well… you could go get him,” Sirius suggested with the largest grin. He was unable to contain the glee in his voice.

“I hope you dunderheads all get expelled for your childish nonsense,” Snape snapped at them.

“Pettigrew, would you go tell Professor Slughorn to come to my office?” Mcgonagall requested tiredly.

“Yes, Professor,” Pettigrew told her before hurrying out.

“Potter, do you seriously believe that this is the actual Hopping Pot?” McGonagall asked skeptically.

“Would I lie, Professor?” James asked with a smile.

Professor McGonagall sighed.

A moment later, Remus came back in the room with Professor Flitwick.

“Let’s see here,” Professor Flitwick said. “This is the cauldron?”

“Yes. If you could figure out what charm Potter has used on it and reverse it, that would be a relief,” Professor McGonagall said.

Professor Flitwick leaned down to pick it up, but the cauldron wouldn’t budge from the floor. “It’s stuck to the ground,” he said. 

“Potter?”

“I didn’t actually know about that,” James admitted. “It’s going to stick to Snape though. It probably can’t be taken away.”

Professor Flitwick started examining it and casting a few spells on it. After a while, he got more and more frustrated with it. 

“Professor, would you like me to get the books that we used to research it to prove that it is the actual Hopping Pot?” Remus asked helpfully.

“Yes. That would be helpful,” Professor McGonagall conceded. 

Peter came back in the room with Professor Slughorn then.

“What’s this about a Hopping Pot?” Professor Slughorn asked.

“Potter has sent this horrible cauldron after me. He’s charmed it to follow me around,” Snape said. “Professor McGonagall isn’t being fair. They need punished severely!”

“It’s the actual Hopping Pot,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“It’s going to follow him around until he’s nicer to muggleborn students,” James said.

“The actual Hopping Pot? Are you saying that the fairy tale is true?” Professor Slughorn asked, raising both eyebrows and looking at the cauldron with interest. 

“Absolutely,” James said with a grin. “He can make it stop whenever he wants. He just has to be nicer to muggleborn students.”

“I think that we might have to do a more thorough investigation,” Professor Flitwick said. “I’m not able to figure out what charm they used.”

“Well, if it is the Hopping Pot, that’s remarkable. Truly remarkable,” Professor Slughorn said.

“Potter needs punished! Black too!” Snape yelled.

“We’ll get to that,” Professor Slughorn said, looking at the cauldron curiously. “If it is the Hopping Pot, do you suppose it might have special properties for making potions?”

“My family has always been very good at potions,” James said. 

“That they have,” Professor Slughorn agreed. 

“I want them punished!” Snape screeched. “They’re bullies!”

“They will be punished. We just need to figure out how to help you with the cauldron issue,” Professor McGonagall said.

“Like I said, I’ll take it back willingly as soon as you stop being awful to muggleborn students,” James said with a shrug. “It’s not much of a demand.”

Remus stepped back into the room with the books then. “Here, Professor. I have proof that it’s the Hopping Pot in these books,” he said, piling them onto Professor McGonagall’s desk. “If you see in this one, the patina–”

“This is ridiculous!” Snape shouted.

Remus looked up at him, and then back at the book. “The description of the patina that you see here matches the one on the Hopping Pot itself. It’s different from tarnish and indicates the quality of the metal as well as the age. It’s  _ very _ old, you see. It has to be the one of legend, but we do have more proof as well. If you see in this book–”

Professor McGonagall kept listening to Remus’s explanation, while Professor Flitwick tried various charms on the cauldron. After a while, Professor Flitwick gave up in frustration and sat down.

“Well, I do believe you that it’s the Hopping Pot. That means that we can’t do anything for you. Perhaps Professor Dumbledore might be powerful enough to sort it out,” Professor McGonagall said. “Otherwise, James will have to take it back from you.”

“Not doing that until he’s nice to muggleborn students, which he should be doing anyway,” James said, kicking his feet up on Professor McGonagall’s desk.

“Off of the desk, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall told him sternly.

“Sorry, Professor,” James said, although he still didn’t look apologetic as he dropped them back to the floor.

“I think twenty points from each of you, and half a month’s worth of detention,” Professor McGonagall said.

“What about me? Make him take the Hopping Pot back!” Snape screeched.

“I can’t force him to,” Professor McGonagall told him, straight faced. “It should leave you alone in no time if you’re on your best behavior. Professor Dumbledore might be able to sort it out as well, so we’ll talk with him to see what can be done.”

“Professor Slughorn!” Snape said, outraged. “Do something!”

“Of course! Of course! Just… Do you think that I could test making some potions in it?” Professor Slughorn asked curiously.

“Right now it temporarily belongs to Snape, so you might try asking him,” James said with a grin.

Snape huffed out a noise of frustration. This time he stood and grabbed the Hopping Pot, carrying it out the door with him rather than letting it clank on the floor. 

Still, not long later they heard the distant  _ clank, clank, clank, clank _ down the corridor.

Sirius looked back at Professor McGonagall. “Separate detentions?” he asked.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” she told him.    
  
  


Epilogue 

James and Sirius hopped off the train for winter holidays. They spotted the Potters immediately and hurried over to them. 

“Missed you Mum,” James said, hugging her tightly.

“We missed you too,” Euphemia said. 

James went to hug his father as well.

“Ooof,” Euphemia said as Sirius hugged her enthusiastically. “We missed you too, Sirius.”

“Glad to be home, Mrs. Potter-mum,” Sirius said. He turned and leaned into a one armed hug with Fleamont. 

“We’ll take the Floo at Diagon Alley to get home,” Euphemia told them. “Unless you think you can tolerate apparating, Sirius?”

“Only if there’s a wastebin close by when we get home,” Sirius said.

“Diagon Alley it is,” Fleamont said. 

They headed out of Kings Cross, walking towards Diagon Alley.

“How is the er, Hopping Pot situation going?” Fleamont asked.

“It’s still following Severus. Evans took pity on him a few weeks ago for some bizarre reason and knitted him a bootie to put on the foot, so now it just makes a thunking noise instead of being so obnoxiously loud,” James said.

“It’s a shame,” Sirius said.

“It’s still effective though. He’s being more polite to muggleborns right now,” James said brightly. “He might have it stop chasing after him by the time he’s graduated at this rate.”

They went through the floo and ended up in the Potters’s home. 

“Excellent!” Sirius exclaimed, looking at the intricate Christmas decorations. “You really outdid yourself this year.”

“It looks marvelous, Mum,” James said in wonderment, looking at the floating candles, holly, wreaths, Christmas tree, silver bells that tinkled faintly by themselves, and even decorative snow on the windowsills. “I love it.”

“I thought it would be nice to decorate a bit more this year- it’s important to have a happy Christmas even in troubled times,” Euphemia said.  “How are your muggleborn friends holding up?”

“I think they’re a bit scared,” Sirius said. 

“They’re all worried. I’m not sure any of them feel safe even at Hogwarts,” James said. 

“We’re going to make things better after we finish Hogwarts,” Sirius said. “Make things a bit safer.”

“Let me help you put your things away,” Euphemia said, mostly ignoring the thought of that.. “There are gingersnaps in the kitchen- I baked them earlier today.”

“Thank you,” Sirius said, heading to the kitchen. James followed behind him, grabbing up a gingersnap. 

Sirius smirked at James.

“What?” James asked. 

Sirius took a step to the side, underneath some mistletoe and pointed upwards. 

James glanced up. He leaned in, stood on the balls of his feet, and pressed a gentle kiss to Sirius’s lips. Sirius kissed him back tenderly for far longer than the mistletoe would have demanded of them, just lingering in James’s arms.

Fleamont cleared his throat.

They reluctantly pulled apart, both grinning.

“I can kiss him, Dad. We’re engaged now,” James pointed out, kissing Sirius’s cheek for good measure.

“As long as it’s just kissing for now,” Fleamont told him, still blissfully in denial.

“Just kissing, I promise,” James lied and kissed Sirius’s cheek again, making him blush.

“Do you want to go see the holiday lights?” Fleamont asked them.

“When?” James asked. “We have a meeting tomorrow.”

“A meeting?” Euphemia asked as she came back into the kitchen.

“An important one with the Prewetts,” Sirius said.

“Part of an important mission,” James said with a grin.

Euphemia sighed. “Will you two ever stay out of trouble?” she asked, smiling and shaking her head. 

“Maybe for a little while,” Sirius said. 

“Probably just for a few months after we graduate. Wedding planning, you know. It’s incredibly time consuming,” James said. He slung an arm around Sirius. “It should keep us busy for a while.”

“C’mon,” Sirius said. “We have planning to do before the meeting. We’ll look at the holiday lights tomorrow.”

James grinned and held his hand as they raced up the stairs, in a rush to plot their next adventure together.

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me through this entire fic! I wouldn't have finished it without all of the kind comments and encouragement. I hope you enjoyed it!


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